how do you deal with the negative girls

im just wondering how any of you have managed with the nasty comments if you have had any,
i havent even had my boobs done yet, but what i thought were some of my friends have turned agasint me, i no they can have there opinion but not be so hurtful,
they say things like why are you trying to look like a barbie, and thats a bit drastic why cant you just keep wearing the chicken fillets, and you wont be able to play with your kids on the trampoline now thats not nice to you to just think of yourself,
but they can get nasty also saying, i think you need to go and see your doc and get your confidence sorted out and maybe a shrink, what are you gonna do next to your body cause you wont stop there people never do, i have no intention of doing anything else,
most comments are things like you should be happy with what you have got and make the most of it, well im fed up with making the most of it and want to make them better,

they have made me so much more determined to do this now, just over a week to go and ive got what i have always wanted,
just need to try and block there hurtful comments,

well i would just tell them its my body my buisiness who are they to tell me what i can or cannot do but luckily i never had any b4 i had it done but now oh my god girls look at me like they wanna kill me lol i just rise above it and just walk with my head held high and ignore it unless im in a very bad moad i just walk on by and dont let it bother me after all its them with the problem not me i wouldnt let nasty people stop you doing what you want to do for yourself just ignore them honestly they are just jealous especially women
xxxx

i cant play with my kids on the trampoline even before my BA.
3 kids and my pelvic floor is not what it was

u can still tramopline lol my sis has one and i can stil jump up and down on it and i had 410 omg your friends are so jealous llol
xxx

Bumblelady in my opinion these so called friends need to mind their own business. How awful when you haven't even got the support of your friends. Ignore their remarks and look forward to your day hun, you're doing this for you and nobody else. xx

Not when your pelvic floors gone Nat! Abbie, that did make me laugh :teehee:

This is the reason I chose to only tell those whose opinions mattered to me - my husband of course, children, mother, father and my best friend.

They each had their say against my not having my BA but I knew anything they said was out of love for me and nothing else and they all tried really hard to sway me not to have the op! LOL

I didn't tell anyone else, because in doing so, I then invite their opinion and I'm really not interested in what anyone else thinks, I suppose I've been lucky and haven't had anyone be nasty to me at all, but if I did, I'd tell them to mind their own business babe and enjoy my boobs regardless of what anyone else thinks. xxx

i dont know as i dont have kids so cant comment on that bout pelvic muscles
x

I would say that most of it is probs jealousy hun. Some of my friends made remarks but put it in a jokey way so it didnt seem so mean but it still hurts at the time. At the end of the day your doing this for you and no one else so if they dont like it tell them you would rather not talk about it further with them.

And it really annoys me when people think just cos we're having a boob job we need to see a shrink. It just shows some people are very ignorent about surgery these days. xx

i had this the first time round when i had my ba 7yrs ago....i can remember standing in the playground waiting to pick my son up, and some of the names i was called ...... by women who just made assumptions about me!! my hubby just told me to rise above it, get my little tops on and carry on walking about with head held high and chest out (tho not literally lol....that WOULD have given em something to have a go about lol)

second time around, having to go thru it again because of a rupture and all that pain that caused....the comments get even worse

i should know better at my age.....hello...i'm 42 not 72!!!

serves me right for them rupturing..i shouldnt have had them done in the first place

not to mention being called all the hurtful names they could think of....

i had such an experience yesterday from my 22yr old stepdaughter, and the girls on here are right....other women who make assumptions about the sort of woman i am obviously feel insecure about themselves as well as jealous

why on earth do they think we're having it done? i'm sure they think i'm going to walk around topless all the time and steal their husbands lol!!

i have suffered with depression and anxiety problems for the last 15 yrs...they never seem to see that tho.

grrr i'll get off my box now!! just gets me so mad!!!

thanks girls for being so understanding, i have only told some close friends but didint expect that react from some, i guess some were just concerened for me and thought i was being to drastic,
but they all no im not the type of person to go around topless or wear tops were im hanging out, im am body aware and not perfect but if i can improve one thing i dont like i will,
i think cause im going to a big implant i will get some comments from people i havent told and am dreading that esp doing the school runs, i dont talk to the other mums up there,
i am also the same on the trampoline lol those damn pelvic mussles lol, i will try and get back on there with my kids soon as i feel ready,

Luckily I haven't had to deal with that.. seems people here in the U.S. are much more comfortable with the subject of plastic surgery. Everyone knows someone that has had something done! However, if someone were to say something nasty to me, I would probably just tell them to go f themselves!

Aww hun!!
The girlies are so right, it is just jealousy!! It is your choice and I'm sure you have took a long time to arrive at such a life-changing decision so do not take any notice! I told a few close friends, who are all professional women but supported me 100%, those that say hurtful things are not worth the time or energy....you are not changing as a person, you are just enhancing your already beautiful self and they should respect that!!!!!

x x x

OMG and you call these 'friends'. They ought to shut up and mind their own business you need they support not their opinions!

Good luck to you and enjoy your day xxxx

Just had a quick read & honey......they are jealous. Its prob something they would have done themselves if they had the money & because they haven't (i assume they haven't) they are trying to put you off as they will feel threatened that your boobies will be better than theirs. Its so so shallow :-(

Ignore honey....why should you put up with chicken fillets any longer???? god i was glad to throw mine in the bin alongide my teeny bras!!! You should slap her round the face with a ruddy chicklen fillet

xxx

p.s i too can't trampoline since having my baby nothing to do with my boobies!!!! xx

cookie wrote:This is the reason I chose to only tell those whose opinions mattered to me - my husband of course, children, mother, father and my best friend.

They each had their say against my not having my BA but I knew anything they said was out of love for me and nothing else and they all tried really hard to sway me not to have the op! LOL

Ditto! I realised after some negative comments that there was only some people I should tell before doing it.

Afterall everyone says don't do it for someone else, so why should they think I WOULDN'T do it because they say so?

Until you walk around in that persons skin you may not full understand, but at least be supportive. I classify people as acquaintances and friends now and since then I realised I have very few friends, these are the only people that know and the only people I know will be by my side no matter what.

All you can do with negativity is combat it with something positive... say something like... well think of the nice new clothes I can wear (sounds shallow but true), at the end of the day they don't have to like it, its not their life afterall...

Some people just don't understand how we feel and how much it affects our lives. I have one friend who made some negative comments and tried to pursuade me not to get it done but you have to do what you feel is right for you. Stay positive and just ignore the negative comments.

Sadly, never ceases to surprise me how nasty 'friends' can be,

hence why I only told my oh & my best friend of 30yrs since secondary school.......... both were totally supportive and brilliant .. if you need to 'talk' about your ba, then share with us.. I suggest you just dont discuss it with these 'friends'......... who needs enemies with friends like this!....... (dont worry hun, I have been hurt many a time by 'friends'.. I am v fussy now!)

come share with us.. you 'll get all the support you need xxx

Hey BB
I have dealt with this today for the first time since my BA and as usual the comments werent directly to me but I knew they were being said.
It is one of those things and people will always be jealous and I just think if you are that bothered about it then just go and have ir done yourself and stop being so spiteful.
As the girls have already said you always get the support from the forum and thats one of the reasons why its so flippin great!
Lots of love
Grace
xxx

Bumblelady

I knew people would be like that so have told hardly anyone about mine, like some of the girls above.

Ignore these people, it's not their business. Maybe remind them that there are aspects of their lives you might pass judgement on, but you don't because you're not that insensitive.

Don't worry about school runs etc, you'd be amazed how many people don't notice. I've been at work 2 weeks, 3 cup sizes bigger and noone noticed lol!!!

xx

Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins remember......This kind of cr*p is why. Just ignore them if they havent got anything nice to say they should keep thier big fat gobs shut...Makes me really cross that people can be so spiteful.

Once you have your new boobs, you wont look back xx

Swit swoo at your new avatar Sally! xx

Barbie - seriously why is it that whenever you talk about getting a boob job everyone automatically assumes that you are going for the Jordon look !!

Don't get me wrong I know this is what some girls want and if that's what they want then fair play to them but people automatically associate BA with that particulat look.

Listen hun - regardless of what look a girl chooses to go with she is doing it for herself and it is none of anyone else's business as to why she is choosing to have the surgery.

They are either jealous or just very insensitive oe even both, if they can't say anything nice then they shouldn't say anything at all.

I am so sorry that you have been on the end of this nastiness, you have 12 days until you go in and get yourself some fabulous new boobies, do no let anyone spoil the exciting run up until your boobie day !

Just smile back at them and walk away xxx

To be honest I had more hassle and negativity from friends before my op, asking me why I wanted to put myself through an op that I didn't need and I was going to look fake, why did I want to look like Jordan. I think there is still a stigma attached to BA's for some people, they see the images on the TV of people like pamela anderson and jordan and think all boob jobs look like this. I knew before my op that I was not going to look like that but people dont understand this. After my op I had nothing but good comments. I have never had anyone come up to me and say anything bad. People have just said they can't believe how natural they look and ask the usually curious questions like how much is it, and does it hurt and can I feel them (friends only lol) My best friend who was dead against it thinking I would look stupid (before my op) even said how proud of me she was for doing it and that she was sorry for being negative, she had just been so worried about me. I did come accross one bloke who wanted to date me and I didn't want to, he turned nasty and called me some horrible things such as a fake b**ch and he preferd real big boobs which upset me for all of 2 mins until I pulled myself together. My boobs are real, real expensive (lol I love that one). They don't disapear when I take my bra off, they aren't removable like chicken fillets, I'm not pretending to have them so they aren't fake and they look good. If someone treats you any differently because you have done something to improve your self esteem and make you feel good about yourself then they are not a true friend and not worth the time of day. I think if a stanger ever said anything, I'm not the type of person that can walk away and I'm not gonna let some idiot who hasn't got a clue how difficult and complex a decision this is to say one bad word about my boobs. If they are perfect then fine they can say what they like but seeing as no one is perfect then they have no right to say a word. I'd have to say something like it was relatively cheap to change my boobs but it would cost quite a lot to fix your face. or I could fix my boobs but nothings gonna fix your personality you'll always be a miserable jealous p***k. or even my surgeon does lipo if you want his number.

Cor I must be really lucky or deaf...lol on the whole my friends have been really great and nearly all of them would get it donw if they could afford it. That said I did have a few ask why I was getting it done My answer was "cause I want great big huge tit's" they didn't really have much to say after that. But nobody has said anything horrid about me that I have heard! but I wouldn't care anyway it's there problem not mine. Over all everyone has been great wanting to know more about it perhaps I just have easygoing friends.

jx