Update on the nightmare of a money situation!

ohh hun im so sorry to hear that :(

hey rachel, only just catching up on all this. And to me it is a big favour off of someone anyway, and if he doesnt want to do it he shouldnt of said in the first place, we had money directed into a diffent account at start of the year and had it back in my partners bank in 3days.So to me it seems like he is just playing you.

I really hope u get the answer you want, as i no how long you have been waiting for this, but if he lets u down then be the better person and just cut him out your life.

I dont want to offend you in anyway shape or form, but 7 grand is alot of money to just give someone, and i think he has just played games with you all along. xxxxx

I feel the same as abbie, something doesnt sound right with him!!! but i hope it all works out for u hun, xxxx

if he is just giving you the run around that would be aweful!He should have been honest if he truly didn't want to do this for you.I'm still hoping for the best though!

Would you loose a deposit if it falls through Hun?

Rach I have read this thread over 2 times now and to be honest im very shocked at what im reading......

If you want something hard enough you make it happen, just not this way....

If you helped a friend then thats one thing and I understand he offered you the money for your B.A but to then say youll pass his number onto people if he dosnt pay up and give his contact details to girls on here is just wrong.

Its ALOT of money for someone to just hand over for a favour you done for them and im quite surprise you would even take it from him as you do not seem to think much of him.

Sorry if this seems quite harsh but I felt something needed to be said.........

Thanks girls. Sorry I've been quiet lately but part of me just can't face the boob chat with all this going on. But once I know one way or the other I will be properly back.

Crystal, instead of breaking your post down into bits I'll post in the appropriate places x

Crystal wrote:Rach I have read this thread over 2 times now and to be honest im very shocked at what im reading......

If you want something hard enough you make it happen, just not this way.... trust me, I've tried. I have tried saving and what with 5 kids something always comes up and uses the money. I've tried applying for loans and credit cards and surgery loan finance but my credit history is really bad so I can't get anything. I've asked friends and family for loans but nobody has that kind of money. I've even asked a couple of acquaintances who I know do private loans but because I don't work even they won't help. And I didn't actually ask him for the money, I did the favours and he said he owed me big time asking how he could repay me. I jokingly said he could pay for my boobs and he agreed. I checked he was serious and he confirmed he would pay. I'm not "expecting" the money cos of the favours, I was expecting it cos he promised it

If you helped a friend then thats one thing and I understand he offered you the money for your B.A but to then say youll pass his number onto people if he dosnt pay up and give his contact details to girls on here is just wrong. I wouldn't actually pass his details on to girls on here! That was a joke!!! Apparently not a funny one, but I wasn't being serious. And if I'm honest I'm all talk, I won't pass his details on to our mutual friends who are looking for him either!! But surely it's wrong of him to promise me the money and screw me over like this (if he is screwing me over, which in my eyes he is)

Its ALOT of money for someone to just hand over for a favour you done for them and im quite surprise you would even take it from him as you do not seem to think much of him. If someone offered you the money for something you had waited 14 years for and wanted so badly it was physically affecting your life you really wouldn't take it?? And anyway (this is probably going to sound harsh to you) he is a company director so he can afford it, and my view is that if you promise something you should follow through on it

Sorry if this seems quite harsh but I felt something needed to be said......... Not harsh hun. And I'm sorry I've evidently offended you with my attitude etc. I'll not come on from now unless it is to let you all know if the money came through or not. Although I'm evidently doing the wrong thing waiting for it, so I'll probably just send it back to him if it does come through. My boobs don't matter. I've lived with them for this long, what's another 6 years of scrimping and saving what little money I can until I can afford the current price that they've quoted me, which will be invalid by then anyway.

And Emme-kate, yes I will lose the deposit if I cancel

Awww Rach. Chin up hon. Sending you hugs x

Thank you hun x

Sat here crying right now. Firstly cos of getting so close and it looking like it's going down the toilet. Secondly cos of I'm evidently doing the wrong thing. Thirdly cos if the money does come through then I'll send it back anyway, it isn't fair of me to have expected it.

I'll be on next on Friday evening to let those of you know who want to know. I won't come on til then

Oh Rachel, please don't cry. I think the girls are just trying to help u in case the worst happens.

I know we will all support u whether u get the money or not. I hate to think u are going thru this important time on Yr own.

This is a forum where girls will speak the truth and tell u their honest opinions, but please don't let our opinions put u off Yr goal. This is about u, we've had our boobs, so stay strong and keep on with what u want to do.

Fingers crossed for u and big hugs. X

Just my two cents...but I think you are putting too much emphasis on a boob job. I certainly would not go in debt over boobs. I have waited 12 years now for a boob job and I got them by saving and working hard and I definitely would not ask nor expect anyone to help pay for them. I would not take from my kids and other priorities to pay for them either. I am 42 years old and it has just been recently that the time has been right. I do hope everything works out for you in the end, but you definitely don't want to regret how you got the money for it either. Good luck. ( I don't mean to sound harsh either, but there are lots of things in life that we all would like to have, but just can't afford them at the time so we must learn patience).

Rachel, alot of us understand the desperation your going through. Words can often sound so different when written down.
Please dont be upset if girls are telling you their views we are just all so worried as many of us have been following your story. As always we are all here for you highs and lows, and at the moment you need us and were all here waiting xxxxx

hi i been reading your story since you posted and i have to say that im not really surprised he hasnt payed you yet .



Im sorry that he hasnt yet , but I think maybe what he has promised something he cant deliver.



It does seem like an awful lot of money for a favour from someone you dont really know that well.



One of my ex's offered yrs ago to pay for my B.A I was with him for 7yrs when i was with him is said no ...cos you cant trust a man with money lol .



I have 4 childern and Im on my own I only work part time and its taken me yrs to save for it ...including holidays along the way .



It can be done ...its takes alot longer cos you only have the one income .



But I have done it and I've done it on my own.



I wouldnt let anyone pay for it ...Coz im stubborn mainly ,,,but i didnt want anyone to hold it over me either .



Only one person you can reali on and thats you .



Yes i know its hard and it can be done ok it will take a lot longer , but worth it in the end .



Only one person can make it happen and thats you xx



I personally wouldnt go look for revenge on him ....is he worth it???



I could understand if you had been in a relationship with him and he had suddenly done a runner on you .



But he is only someone you know.



If he fails to for fill his promise . I would just walk away . I know its easy to say . But its not the be all and end all. Look at your childern and see what you have already your very lucky already .



Your turn will come xx



I had to wait over 12 yrs for my turn ...but i got there xxx

Hey Rach x

As I said the other day hun, if the money doesn't come through I was worried about how disappointed you were going to be as I knew you had your heart set on it xx but I also knew that the possibility of this bloke actually fulfilling his 'promise' was pretty non existent xx He may surprise me but, I have been about a bit and this sort of thing just doesn't happen sweetness xx I'm so so sorry xx I was trying to warn you the other day xx

In relation to not coming on here, I of all people know how hard it is to sometimes come on here and read about how happy people are with their new assets when you aren't or haven't got them, so I understand that you might be a little quiet for a while xx However I always come back as I miss everyone and like to catch up and this site has really really helped me on my journey xx I've met some cracking people and have known some of them for over two years now, which is a scary thought xx I feel closer to some of the girls on here than I do people I know in real life haha xx My point is I don't want you to feel like you have offended others or are doing the wrong thing and so shouldn't come on the site xx At the end of the day this is a pretty open forum and if you post about something you will always get a reply xx that's what is so great about the site xx Whether you like it or not is another matter :)

I don't think Crystal was offended or having a go at you hunni xx Crystal was merely expressing her views, thoughts and feelings xx She wasn't being horrible, perhaps just getting you to think a bit about what you had said xx I have to admit I read your post about passing his details on and did think it was a bit harsh xx

I understand how upset you are and why you feel that you have been had over but like some of us have said it is an awful lot of money to expect in return for a favor or two xx Even if he did offer it at the time, and he probably meant it at the time, but things change as do people's circumstances, perhaps he never had the ability to follow through xx who knows hun xx

Just wanted you to know that we are here for you hun xx please don't feel you can't come on here xx But, in the same breath if you post about something, be prepared for people to reply with what they think about it xx

I've been following your story too Rache, and I've really wanted to believe that he would come thru for you and it would all end well, but deep in my gut I have had this awful feeling that he would let you down. But think about it - even if he does get the money to you, do you really want him to forever be able to say "those are mine - I paid for them"? I've been having a cash-flow issue recently while my business is quiet, but I've been so determined to scrape together the last direct debit payment for my boobs just so I can say I've done it by myself!...

Don't stay away from the boards hun - at the end of the day this is a support forum and it's only natural that you'll get honest opinions whether you want to hear them or not - you have to be prepared for that if you open yourself up and pour your heart out. Nobody is being horrible here, and I doubt people would take the time to reply to your post if they didn't give a crap about you. Chin up. xx

Mx

So sorry to hear all this Rach, and really fingers crossed he does come through for you. You never know!!!!

I was just wondering what your husband says about it all?! xx

Rach, first of all I'm sorry you're so disappointed and feeling so obviously devastated.

But I have to agree with everything Crystal and the others have said. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you, just that it's such a huge thing to expect a mere friend to pay for. Whatever you did for him as a friend, it obviously meant a lot to him because he then went and offered you help to get your BA. But people sometimes say silly things in the heat of the moment, and maybe he's realised now that he just can't go through with it. You mentioned that his wife doesn't know about this. To be honest if my partner was offering to pay for a friend to get her boobs done I would be beyond furious!!! I'd leave him in a heartbeat. I don't care what her situation may be, why on earth would he be paying for that when he's got his own responsibilities, including his children who (in my opinion) that money should be for anyway. And to think he'd do something like that behind my back would make me sick. I expect he has figured out just how wrong it would be to do this. It could completely ruin his life. His wife would hate him for it and when his kids are older he'd have to explain himself to them too!

I totally understand why you got so excited and believed in this offer of his, it's clear you want this as much as we all do and desperation can make us believe in things we wouldn't normally. It's just a damn shame he didn't offer something else as a thank you instead of messing with your head like this.

Please don't go looking for revenge. It was a stupid thing he did, but he's clearly regretting it now and obviously not wanting to come out and tell you he made a mistake. We all make mistakes. He offered something he can't provide, but he hasn't actually done you any harm.

Like mio said, it can be done hun. You will get there one day. Don't give up. Let this experience toughen you up and make you more determined than ever to achieve your goal. We'll be here to support you and celebrate when your time comes.

Hugs xx

Sorry but I just had to add my final bit to this.

I totally agree with what all the girls are saying about it being a big ask etc etc but if he had changed his mind was there any need for him to behave the way he has and drag it on and on? To say the money has been transferred to the wrong account etc etc. Why make up all these lies when the outcome is going to be the same, i.e., Rachel doesn't get the money!! I know what it's like when you're so desperate for something to happen, you'll believe anything and Rachel has put all her trust in this guy and believed his 'promises' !

I have to say though I was shocked when Rachel said she would happily give out his contact details on here (although I realise she said this was just a joke) think that was off the back of a 'jokey' comment I made saying if it materialises that he is messing her about there will be a few girls on here after his head on a stick!! I was just expressing what a d**k he is and hope my comments were taken as they were meant (as a joke) as I certainly do not want to offend anyone.

Anyways, poor Rachel what a mess this has been for her. And she really must've believed the money was coming or she never would have booked the op!

You never know, we might all be saying this and he might come through. xx

Rach you definitely should not stay away. You need the support on here right now. Don't take other folks opinions to heart. We all want the best for you x

Aw rach, a miracle may happen hun, but please remember everyone here is to support each other, and we will definitely support you untill the day your boobs arrives.

I dont know whether you have an ebay account but i have sold a lot of baby clothes, my clothes, shoes etc and earnt alot. Could you not try that, or a bootsale, i did one and earnt 200pound in the first hour. Or maybe something like cake selling at school fates. Trust me if you want something so bad, you will raise that money. Ive been then when i had to get the deposit for my house.

Babes keep your chin and im sure it will all work out babes. xxx

Rachel, there are a lot of people following your story, because we care! Don't stay away if you are hurt and need to talk to someone, that is what the forum is for, and I can honestly say not one person would judge on this forum, they are just opinions not judgements. I think some girls just wanted to warn you that it may not work out, incase you are let down on Friday.

I think everyone can relate to wanting a BA so badly, and some of us are lucky enough to have the money, some save for ages and ages, and some get a loan and pay it off. Everyone is different and if it is what you want you will get there eventually. I believe there is a right time for everything, and if it doesn't work out this month it maybe wasn't the best time anyways, especially now that you have a lot of other emotions tied up in the whole thing. It may be tough going through the BA but ultimately you want it to be a positive experience and something you have done for you.

That is just my opinion, the situation sucks but you will get through it and I am sure get your BA eventually. Maybe the hospital or company can hold your deposit to reschedule?

I was thinking that too Rachel. (If the money doesn't come through) you could postpone your op rather than cancel and then you won't lose your deposit x

Hi girls

I'm sorry for my reaction. I guess that cos I'd already figured that the money wasn't going to come through I was pretty down (I know, I shouldn't have got my hopes up, but having waited so long for it I just couldn't help it, you know?) so when you girls started giving honest opinions about it I just got more upset.

I do want to say a big thank you to you all for supporting me and standing by me, even if you don't agree with the way I my money is supposed to be coming through.

Anyway, I am not getting my hopes up any more, I've learnt my lesson on that one. I have checked my finances again and worked out incoming and outgoing so if what I think we are all expecting tomorrow does happen (ie no money) then I am going to start putting away some money every month. More than I thought I could afford which is good, but will still take me a good 3-4 years to save it all!!!!

BUT I just wanted to let you know that he text me as soon as he was off the plane. He knows how worried and upset I am about all this so he is going to pop round this evening to see me and reassure me. And he is going to be going to Nationwide around midday tomorrow to take the money out of his account then go to Santander and put it direct into my account. I know I still only have his word for it, and I'm taking it with a pinch of salt, but I am keeping his fingers crossed that he does come through after all.

Thanks all. Sorry I got upset. I will be on but may be quiet for a while if it doesn't come through. I'll be on tomorrow evening to let you know how it has gone either way.

Oh, and I can't postpone for longer than 6 months (MyBreast policy unfortunately). I will never be able to get all the money together within 6 months just by selling things and saving. The amount I need is 4 entire month's money with absolutely NOTHING going out including rent and food!! There's no way I can put off paying my rent or feeding the kids for 4 months! lol