Hiding boobs from family

Hi girls,

I know I've responded to these posts before, and I'm not sure if any of you have had to hide your boobs from your family, especially your mom? I am a bit nervous, my mom has seen me once since the BA but I was about 20 lbs overweight at the time and was wearing a dress that was black and minimized everything, also it was at my father's funeral so I'm sure she wasn't really focused on my chest, and now I'm losing the weight and I'm so worried that she's going to see that when I'm skinny, I still have quite large boobies where I had NONE before...I was about a small B cup, and always wore padded bras, so I'm not AS worried during the day in regular clothes, I can wear my Macom bra (no padding), but at night, in PJs, I'm worried she'll notice I don't have my small cone-boobies anymore....any suggestions as to how to hide them? I'll be with her for a week, and there will be no distractions (I'm not going with my BF, so it's just me and mom). I guess I could keep her totally drunk the whole time!!! (KIDDING!)

I know it seems terrible but I can't tell her she's TOTALLY against any sort of putting things into your body (she's very healthy and holistic, etc.) she'd never understand. I've talked to her about BA before and she's so against it. I'll be about 8 months, so they've totally dropped and look natural to me, but I"m worried that I've been used to them for this whole time, but it may be a shock to her....I NEED to hide them somehow....any suggestions?

I'm thinking black t-shirts for a start, but I can't wear those everyday!

Any help would be greatly appreciated girlies, thank you!!!!

Why dont you put a sports bra under your pjs,and maybe buy a minimising bra for the daytime,topped with a large shirt or baggy jumper? My close family have not sussed mine out yet but i have worn black and baggy stuff most of the time when i have been with them!!! Hope this helps!!xxxx

Thanks sparky!! Ugh, I mean I'm in my mid-30s, but my mum still TERRIFIES me LOLOL!!!

Those are good ideas, I'm definitely going to do a shopping trip in April before I go and just buy things that make them look small. Unfortunately jumpers are out, since I'll be in Florida...but fortunately my mum doesn't go to the beach so no worries about a bathing suit scandal

It would be very hard to hide those beauties in a cossie!!!! I think a flowing kaftan is the way forward !!!xxxx

LOLOL

yes true!!!!!!! and thank you!!!!! How are you healing yourself?

Im fine now thanks ,still get a few pains now and again,took me quite a while to feel right,maybe its took longer than most cos of my age ?? They have dropped quite a lot ,just hoping they fluff a bit bigger !!!! xxx

I've got no tips... not been to see the family or close old firends yet.... hopefully no one will notice!!!
Only problem is my dad lives in cyprus and I go over EVERY summer.... no idea what to do about this one!!!

Let me know your plan of action and how you get on
xxx

MMMM.....UMMMM.....WWELLL.

This was me about 2 months ago and nobody has noticed yet. My mother is the worst when it comes to opinions and making me feel bad. I know EXACTLY how you feel

Blame it on change. After all women always go through changes in their body. As you said they look natural.

This way you can be yourself and wear the things you want.

If your like me, who can not stand to lie, then nothing will work when the questions start. I get so p*ssed off and blurt out the truth with a SO WHAT ITS MY LIFE behined it.

Don't know if you're up for it but if she asks you, you could tell her you think you could be pregnant. Would that be too big a smokescreen to hide behind?

If that's too extreme, just act dumb - without proof of surgery, you don't have to admit to it unless you want to. If she's in the south and you're up north then guessing you guys don't eyeball that often - just look down if challenged and say 'do you really think they're bigger? It must be all the pasta I've been eating'.

No-one, NO-ONE has the right to try and make you feel bad about a choice you made about your own body. I just got home from a dinner date with a girl-friend who pulled a pained face when I told her about my additions. Asked how I could have done such a thing to myself after the recent PIPs scandal and what on earth had I told my daughters. I was hurt and almost crumpled under the table. Within 1 minute though I was back up and said that I couldn't talk to her about it if she was going to pull faces, that I was pleased with my new body and that I wouldn't apologise for trying to look good. Also said that I would love it if she could try and see how happy I was and be pleased for my delight - which she did

Sorry for ranting - touched a nerve with me tonight!

And if my nutty idea doesn't work, a kaftan is a great idea!

x


PS My little sis lives in Vero Beach and big bro near Poughkeepsie - I miss my siblings!!!

Oh thank god I'm not the only one that hasn't got the balls to tell anyone my family thay have a really strong belief about cosmetic surgery and worry that things will go wrong, I had a tummy tuck in august and my mother actually offered me double the cost of the surgery no to do it,,, my dad didn't agree with it AT ALL!!! But now thay all agree that I did the right thing but when ever I have told my mam about someone who's got there boobs done she says it disgusting and so shame full for woman to do such a thing to there body she just tells me to shut up and to stop talking about such a horrible thing SO you can imagine what she would be like if I told her that it's my turn to get bigger boobies lol I do see my whole family every day or so as thay all live only 5 miles from me so not sure how I'm going to cover this one up ? And Alexandra33 I'm planing on wearing baggy tops and sports bra for a while till things settle and if thay ask I'm going to say I've had the coil fitted and it's made my boobs get bigger lol I'm so please I'm not the only one who's got a scary mam lol oh and I'm almost 29 and still scared of her hahaha

I think coil/pill is the best option.... since you've lost weight you probably cant use the 'oh no i must have put on weight' idea... I plan on using all these as I probably have put on weight haha!

Obviously onle need to resort to these if your about to be busted. I think were all a bit paranoid because we know our secret. i dont think anyone who knows me would ever think iv had a ba... so ill HOPEFULLY worry over nothing.

It just depends on whether people will actually suspect?
xx

No I can't use the weight excuse as thay all know my weight days are over so its the contraception option for an excuse lol I've been wear a heavily padded bra for awhile now so might not suspect a thing but thay defently will when the summer arrives and the vest top come on ! Oh whel I'll think about that when the time comes,,,, lol

Hi alexandra33, we're on the same boat! I haven't told my parents yet and the surgery is in 23 days. I have to tell them though otherwise I won't be in peace with myself. I agree with sparkyleeds, if you wear a sports bra it will flatten them a bit. Tell her that you are one of the lucky ones that lost weight but the boobs remained there because you put lots of firming cream on them. Good luck and have a good time in Florida!!

Id love to hear what my mam and sister who both have sadly passed away think of my new additions!!!! I bet there having a right laugh about how vain i am !!!I used to moan when i was younger about having no boobs and mam always said "they will grow",so i think she would have understood but would have been worried for me having the op!!!xxx

You girls are the best, I knew you'd make me feel better!!

Steph: yes, I can only hope my mother doesn't suggest a beach trip, it would be very unlike her, plus I could always get a snug one piece swim suit to smash them down. I'll let you know how things work out!

Starjem: yes I'm same, if she flat-out asks me I'll defo have to tell her, I'm not a good liar at all....but very good idea about the change...I've actually taken iodine from my thyroid (after the Japanese nuclear disaster) and told her at the time it made my boobs a bit bigger...so maybe I can fob it off on that....

Sue: I think she may die if I tell her I could be preggo but it would be a good diversion!! HAHA Sorry you had that experience with your friend, it's that reaction I want to avoid. But with friends, you can tell them where to stick it, if need be, with your parents, it's tougher...my mum's all I"ve got left so I really don't want to upset her if i don't have to...

Trish: yes that's exactly the reaction my mum would have - more because of the whole putting silicone in the body though. Oddly enough, she'd probably be ok with a tummy tuck because you're just removing skin....it's tough b/c this is the ONE THING I"ve always been SO self concious about and I"ve never felt better than in these past 6 months in my WHOLE LIFE!!

Xaxa: smart to tell them before the surgery, I tried this with my mum, showed her research, etc, but she wasn't swayed. She just says stuff like "well if youre stupid enough to do soemthing like that...blah blah blah" It's so upsetting because our mums didn't grow up in this hyper-sexualized world where I've NEVER felt like a real woman with my nasty small cone boobs (unless I'm wearing a padded bra, that is). I may try the idea of putting cream on them story...but I"ll be busted if she flat-out asks me.

Sparky, so sorry to hear about your mum and sis. I just lost my father a few months ago, and it's such a hard thing

Thank you girlies again, what would I do without this website???

Alexandra ,really sorry to hear about your Dad,i know how you must be feeling !xxxx

Girls I'm sorry for your loses x hugs x if thay say anything I'm just gonna do the NO I HAVE NOT HAD MY BOOBS DONE !!! And just change the subject if possible lol x

Thank you sparky, feel so bad for my mom too, she lost my grandma (her mom) last august, then my dad. It's hard for me too, but I didn't live home so I don't feel it as acutely.

Trish, good point, DENY DENY DENY!! lol

Lol

i think Trisha is right to a point .... just laugh it off and deny it if you can - try saying 'dont be daft' and 'as IF' and then make a drastic conversation change.

I say to a point about this cos its what I tried - but it didnt work - it was my dad I hadnt want to tell. Thing is tho he was really good about it when I did confess. He wasnt as anti-BA's as your mammy tho, thats the bad bit, he's just a terrible worrier.

Thing is its so hard for you - to put youself through the worry of having this big secret from her. At the end of the day she might well be fell out with you for a while but i think its something that you could come through. I think if she found out in another way that would hurt her more than the possibility of a big bust up - which would be sorted out.

Maybe Im goin to be the only one here that says this but I think you should tell her. You can explain how it made you feel before and how you now feel, you can explain how youve done your research and you know you are safe. You can explain that you didnt confide in her before because you didnt want to worry her and risk falling out over a decision that had already been made. And then you can tell her how it was troubling you so much to keep this from her cos you love her and need her to be on your side. She might surprise you, and be really supportive. Even if there is a row. Once you've told her you dont have to worry.

I havent told friends cos I think its private and Ive stuck with the thought that id say 'nah' if challennged but I think they are being kind to my feelings, I think they know but realise its something Im not about to shout about. But its different with your mum. Hope I havent upset anyone - its just my opinion. If I thought it would work for you to hide it I would encourage you but cant help thinking you are going to be worrying about it so much you wont enjoy your time with her. Do you think she would fall out with you for ever if you did tell her? I bet not, shes your mam and she loves you. Just accept the bollocking and then put it behind you maybe. x

What about leaving a couple of those majorly padded la senza/ primark bras lying around and say that it's all in the bra. Which is why my mum didn't think I needed Ba until I told her my 'real' cup size lol. Good luck! X

Thanks Kat, I may go that route, I just think she's a MAJOR grudge-holder and she may be snarky for far longer than most people. But if I really feel uncomfortable I'll tell her, honestly, I hardly see her at all, so it's only really once or twice a year type thing.

Catty VERY good idea hunni...I may do that, since my bras now look MASSIVE (34 F LOLOL) and they have padding....I could even whip it off and say LOOK HOW PADDED IT IS LOL!

i know ive rambled a lot about this but thought Id add this as Im on a roll

tonight my SIL to be is coming. I hadnt told her about the op I had yesterday cos I wanted to keep it quiet - the cat got out of the bag (long story) and she texted me at hospital and asked why i hadnt told her, she was quite upset with me and didnt understand why I hadnt told her I was having a op. I still havent told her what Ive had done and i dont intend to. I havent told her about the ba but Im pretty sure she knows (its obvious really and she knows what shape I was before) i think she is being kind to my feelings and has realised I just want to keep it low key. This from a self confessed nosey bugger, she would say it and be proud of it! so I appreciate what she is doing.

I dont want to tell her about the tt either, for all the same reasons but I still feel bad about her finding out that I was trying to slope off and have any op. Her heart is in the right place, shes concerned and i feel a bit mean that i havent said - especially cos of the way she found out.

Im not helping here am I ?!?!? so I will just shut up and leave it now then. I understand your difficulty - its a hard one to know the right thing to do/say - once the cat is out of the bag you cant get it back in can you

That's the thing. I told ppl at my job and wish I'd never said anything cos they look so natural (just large) that I could have passed it off easily. I told my friends also, wish I hadn't, although they'd probably have eventually noticed.

But now my family is another story altogether. I want her to be happy for me, but she'd just be **naughty word**, think I was throwing my health down the toilet for cosmetic reasons. It's probably not worth the aggravation to tell her. She wouldn't care that it was all done already, she'd bombard me with emails and health articles, etc,. I think it would really depress and upset me. I just think, in my case, it's worth trying to hide it!

well you definately know her best sweet. I think if she did send emails and articles about possible health implications you would feel really sad - not worried so much - we all know what there could be ... but then life holds so many could be's doesnt it and we've just got to get on and enjoy it. I dont believe I am compromising my health. My state of mind may well have been further compromised had I not had these surgeries!

Best of luck whatever happens and fingers crossed for you. After re-reading this thread I guess the best option would be to say you've changed contraception and laugh about how its given you a fabulous increase in the boobie area. x