Do I tell my family?

Hey everyone, just wanted to get a few people's thoughts on this. When I first decided I wanted my boobs done i said I wouldn't tell anyone other than my husband and sisters. I don't think my husband was convinced I would go through with it, but now I've booked my time off work in December and I'm saving money like mad for it. The OH is now saying he thinks I should tell the in laws and my mum and dad in case something happened on the day and in case they notice afterwards. I've explained all the reasons why I don't think I should tell them but he says I'm just making excuses because its an awkward subject to bring up. I wouldn't usually discuss my boobs with anyone other than sisters and friends so I don't see why I should tell family, they'll only worry And try to talk me out of it. Anyone been in same/similar situation?

I'm constantly thinking about it and don't know what to do for the best it's actually stressing me out abit. OH has now said "do you what you want -I'm sick of talking about it" so it's now just going round in my head! Help xx

Hey hun :-)

I am in the exact same boat.. Although i told my mum dad sister and boyfriend simply because i still live at home and it was unavoidable. Other than those 4 people i don't plan to tell anyone and its so difficult keeping it from my friends.

As for your mum and dad it depends on ur personal situation.. You dont have to tell anyone u don't want to! I have said from day one "why should i have to tell someone who i wouldn't have talked about my boobs to before??"

I was lucky because my sis had hers two years ago so i think my parents were expecting it.. Maybe you could tell your own parents and not the in laws?

xx

Hi hun. It's your choice. If you don't want to tell them don't. I only told my dad because OH does not drive and I needed a lift there and back. I'm really close to my dad and tell him everything though. I am 4 days since my op and I haven't told my mum. She's very un supportive of most things so I don't see a benefit in telling her. I've only told a couple of friends and nobody at my work place. It just depends who you trust. Some people might not even notice and maybe just think you have a super padded bra? Don't let anyone pressure you hun xx

Don't feel pressured into telling anyone you don't feel you want to hun.

You're a grown woman now, the choices you make are yours alone its very possible to disguise if this is what you'd prefer to do.

If someone does notice after surgery, then you can broach that at the time and deal with it as YOU see fit. But unless that happens there's really no need to be discussing something that personal to you unless YOU felt you wanted to

I kinda get the feeling your husband might be the one who's looking for outside support from parents for himself rather than you... Could this be why he's pressuring you to tell them do you think?

Hey, like the other girls have said, if you dont see any benefit of telling them and you dont want to, remember its your choice and no one should force you into it. Its hard keeping things from your mum and dad but if you feel like its the right thing to do for you both, then surely its right overall.
I have told my family because i live at home still and although it was hard and they worried a lot, slowly they started to come round and now are supporting me. My boyf obv knows too but its hard for me to keep it from friends. Sometimes i think.. should i tell one of them?! But i cant do it because all if takes is one slip up and then i risk everyone knowing so ild rather just keep it my business.I really dont want to tell my boyf's mum and dad and his sister because i know they wont be understanding at all... im still undecided on telling them!
Ithink you should try to relax a bit. Your hoping for your op in december so you have a few months to think about your decision. During this booking period, it gets really exciting and is on our minds all the time, but once your booked in and are waiting to go, it will all carm down a bit and your be able to think it though and will be able to make a decision on whether you want to tell them or not
Good luck :) xx

and also, maybe think of it the other way round... if he was having surgery or something similar done, would you pressure him into telling his mum and dad etc if he didnt want too... ?!
Its totally your decision xxx

It's a personal choice, some choose to tell their families and some want it a complete secret.

Family wise I have told my Mom, I don't want my Dad to know and to be honest he is so half soaked he wouldn't notice

Good luck in whatever you choose to do x

i told my mum. but my dad doesn't know, just told him i had a back back. My OH told my in laws, i didn't want him too and i flipped out at him as soon as i found out he'd told them. Especially as the first time I went to see them, about a week post op, his step dad came out with "oh! shall we call you Jordan now?" Tell whoever you feel comfortable with telling. And as for people noticing, unless you go round to visit with the tightest, lowest cut top op... i doubt they will notice. xx

totally up to who you feel comfortable telling and who you want to know. Have only told close family no in laws! but everyone is different. I'm doing this for myself so telling other people won't change anything-if you don't want to share don't feel you have to. If they notice then maybe that's a bridge to cross when it happens? xx

Ditto to what all the girls have said above Mrs B, don't feel like you have to tell anyone, have a good think about whether people knowing is of any benefit to you, will you be comfortable when they bring it up, will they be supportive? I think Cookie is spot on about your OH wanting support, he probably feels as if he isn't able to deal with it. There should be a forum for OH's of BA girlies! (in blue of course!) :-) Maybe Cookie you could set one up?!! Haha!

I haven't told anyone, (apart from you guys!) but that's not to say I won't tell my friends and family in the future. For my personal circumstances it's just easier that way, so have a think about yours, who are you closest to, what does it achieve for certain people to know? I don't think it's necessary to share with my friends and family at the moment, my closest girlfriends have a lot going on in their own lives, for example, one has just got married, one has just found out they are pregnant after IVF, one is planning her wedding, I just don't want them to worry especially when this is elective surgery. I live on my own so its also kinda easy for me to hide for a couple of weeks and not to tell anyone, it would be different if I still lived with my parents!

I know my gfs will notice in time especially when I start to wear nice dresses, and I will tell them then (I already can see their reactions, their first words will be "we wanna see!!") but in advance, there's no need. And Mrs B, you'll find all you need support wise here, this forum has every answer to every question and all the girls will go through this with you, you may find it's enough! Good luck with whatever you choose to do hun! Remember it's your personal choice. :-) xx

Can i just say to all of you who have answered I really appreciate your support and advice. Its really helped me and thats what I need right now. I think your right Cookie and eddy787 my OH probably cant get his head around it and probably feels if his mum and dad knew he'd have someone else to talk to about it. But for me this is just something i'm doing for myself and I think the people i havent told wouldnt fully understand. My mums had a mastectomy after having breast cancer a couple of years ago and decided not to have reconstruction so this is one of the reasons i dont feel i could bring the subject up to my mum I think it may upset her too much. I'd like to reply to you all individually because you've all made so great points but that would take too long. but thanks for the support as always xx

It's an extremely personal experience and its up to you to decide who or if you tell anyone. Would you be gaining anything from telling anyone else? I believe that when you tell people your business it almost gives them a right to cast their opinion, even if you want to hear it or not.
Don't feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with.
I have told a selective few that I was sure would be supportive. I'm not ashamed nor embarrassed I just don't want to hear other people's negativity. Good luck with whatever you decide. xx