Telling The Family....

I have stopped smoking and my father asked me what were my reasons today! Just in a general conversation . I told him I was having a procedure in a few weeks time and had to quit . He asked me why? I just couldnt tell him.He is in his 70;s and I felt really embarrassed. My mum is great and has attended a few appointments with me . I am a married mum of 2 , and I haven't told my children either. My son is a teenager and I just cant bring myself to tell him, yet on the other hand I am always so active and they are spoilt by me,, I even lay his clothes out etc..I dont want him to worry that I am ill etc , as it is virtually unknown for me to ever lay in bed . This is worrying me slightly.

If your son is a teenager it's inevitable he's going to not only notice the difference but will undoubtedly have heard snippets of conversation about your surgery anyway and is old enough to understand what's going on, so I'd probably discuss it with your son, so he's not worrying about you and he also knows your reasons. You don't have to go to indepth with him, I had a teenage son myself when I had my first surgery (17) and my daughter (15) and I know how they want nothing to do with parents and anything sexual hahaha. I just made light of it, I told them I'd had issues with my breasts for a long time and felt it was the right time to do something about it and was having surgery to do that, but not to worry, I wasn't going to have two footballs ('cause that's the first thing they'll think! hahaha) and was just having what the good lord 'should' have blessed me with and if they wanted to talk further I was there for them.

My son never spoke of it again. My daughter had a ton of questions, but it's been fine and other than have his friends call me a MILF which doesn't go down well haha, all has been good.

Your dad really doesn't have to know if you'd rather he didn't, you'll be recovering away from him so he won't be aware of your discomfort and as long as you aren't going too big you should be able to disguise them from dad.

If you'd like your dad to know, maybe your mum who sounds adorable could ahve a little word for you hun. xx

Hi, I have a teenag son of 15 also. I just told him and he didn't want to discuss it again after that. My 8 year old was a different matter, I had to explain everything to him.

I was surprised that the day I got back from the op my 15 year old was around and making just as much fuss of me as everyone else, he was soooo good helping in the 6 weeks after the BA with cleaning and lifting nd minding the babies.

I will have to tell him won't I ? Not too worried about my daughter . Apart from her telling all and sundry!!! I did a calendar shoot for charity a while back and he was vetting the photos, and got quite upset about it . Think that's why I am worrying a bit too much , I am his mum and boys are like that with their mums. Cookie you have made me laugh with the milf angle .
They are certainly gonna be in for a shock for a few days when the chauffer, cook, cleaner etc is out of action!

I'd be honest with him, it's better to hear it from your mouth than to work it out on his own. He will probably respect you more for including him in on parts of your life that are important to you rather than keeping him in the dark and letting him come to his own conclusions. Atleast then he doesn't have the worry of wondering what's wrong when you're recovering.

Best of luck with however it works out though jakki, remember it's your body and you have a right to feel good about yourself. xx

Thanks Alice , yes I have always wanted to do this but the time never seemed right. I will have a chat with him. Lian posted that her son was great so fingers crossed he won't really take any notice . :thumbs:

Hey jakki32 I am speaking as a a teenager, my mum keeps things from me at times because she doesn't want to worry me but never under estimate how much you can take in from the odd conversation over heard or text message u might have came across etc... it drives me mad because it make me worry more! I would be honest with him, i think he will respect you for telling him, good luck! :D

I just blurted it out like it was most normal thing in the world while I was hoovering one day ha ha. I didnt do the sit down thing cos I knew he'd be embarrassed

I agree completely with your sentiment rocky. I never felt like I knew my mum cos she was always just some figure head rather than being her true self with me. I've always held that in my mind and try to be as normal with my children as I am with everyone else

Thank you Rockyk12 x honesty is the best policy . I will probably be similar to you Lian, just put it out there casual like x thanks guys.

Lian wrote:I just blurted it out like it was most normal thing in the world while I was hoovering one day ha ha. I didnt do the sit down thing cos I knew he'd be embarrassed

I really think this is the best way, if he's like any other teenager the idea of discussing his mum's boobs will make him feel pretty embarrassed so keeping it informal with an easy escape route may help hahaa... I didn't even like talking about my own boobs as a teenager LOL x

I am getting my BA in a few days and i still haven't told my kids yet, more because kids live in the here and now (my two are 11 and 8) so i plan on telling them tomorrow so they have a few days to get used to it but not too long for them to overthink or worry about it. Also not telling them until then because I am a worrier and a stresser and I don't think I could handle the over load of questions until now they know something is up though as I have been stressing out and not sleeping much lately. Kids know alot more than you think! xx

I completely agree, all my kids know they are 18, 13 , 12 , 11 and 3 although I didn't actually tell the 3 year old as I assumed he was too young to understand. They heard snippets of my conversations with their Dad they asked what I was talking about so I informally told them then carried on with what I was doing think this is definitley the best way. But like the girls have said he will notice, we told my 3 year old mummy had a sore chest, he immediately headed for my boobs and he actually says to me " why you got bigger boobies now! " our kids take in far more then we think they do xx

I have finally told him tonight . I just mentioned it casually . He seemed more concerned than I thought, asking if I would need him to look after me . Choked me a bit! I just told him to pick up after himself more ! I did say not to mention anything to his sister. She is 9 , I will deal with that another time ! X Thanks for the advice, it gave me a nudge, it has been weighing on my mind a bit x This forum is great :thumbs:

Awwww sounds like you have a lovely son Jakki. Glad it wasn't as bad as you first thought. xx

Aww what a nice story. Glad it Went well x x x

Hiya, I'm so glad your son took he so well. I'm debating on how to tell my 9 year old daughter aswell. I don't want to lie to her because I think she'll have to know really, although i'm quite concerned she may tell her entire school lol. When you've found a good way to approach her please let me know as I'm finding it harder telling her than I was my mum lol (scared of a 9 year old! Lol) x

Hi clover I have an 8 year old boy and I just said they were 'fixing' my boobs. Made it sound like I had something wrong with them so they needed fixing in the same way it might do if you had another medical ailment.

Also had to tell my friends children, one was an 11 year old girl and she just accepted it when put that way too. They all just speak about it like its a normal thing to have happened

In fact, no one has spoke about it for ages, only really my friends 11 year old who will ask if they're still sore every now and again

Oh well that's quite a good idea. I'll try that. Did you get embarrassed telling them? I didn't with the adults I've told but children scare me so much more lol x

Ha ha ha

well I was more nervous about my friends daughter really as I didn't want it to reinforce media stereotypes of the 'perfect' body. And I was really concerned that it was exactly what I would be doing If I told her I was have a 'boob job'.

I think they is why I very much went down the 'fixing' a problem route. It was true. Me and her mum really explained about what happens to some women after pregnancies and breast feeding and then reassured her that she would probably never have to concern herself with such problems if she takes after the women in her family (light hearted playfulness)

Aww that's a nice way to do it. Fingers crossed she'll be ok with it. When she saw my caesarean scar she said "ohhhhhh, that look disgusting!" lol. So I'm sure she can handle a ba lol x

Ha ha she'll be absolutely fine with it. ... Except for the scars maybe ;) x

My daughter is 7 and I knew I had to tell her cos I always make a point of never lying to her. I found it hard but I sat her down and told her that mummy wasnt happy with her boobies. I am very open with my daughter and she still has baths with me and stuff so she sees me naked. I said mummy boobies are sad and mummy wants to make them look happy again. She then said the funniest thing "yeah mummy they do look very floppy dont they!!" I almost wet myself laughing and then explained that I would be sore for a while and that she musnt jump on me for a while! She took it in her stride and has been fine with the whole thing. My dad on the other hand had no idea. My mum has been supportive and my sister is having a BA on wednesday so she has supported her 2 daughters at the same time. She understands where we were both coming from and whilst hating the thought of surgery she agreed that out of the 3 of us, she (at the age of 61) had the best pair of boobs and that if she was our age again and in our situation she would do the same. My dad is very old fashioned and wouldnt understand at all and my mum decided it wouldnt be a god idea for him to know.

I think I will tell the 9 year old a few days before.My BA is on a monday so I can tell her at the weekend . She cant keep anything to herself so will probably tell the whole school!!! You are right about stereo types types, especially when girls are young and impressionable, she makes me chuckle because if there is a bra about she will have it on like lightening and jig about x I didnt worry about telling my mum, her reaction was that she had never walked in my shoes and whatever makes me happy. My husband was very casual about it..I love you as you are..your choice..then after I saw the surgeon he confessed that he loves boobs!! And always has!!

I told my 7 year old 2 days before cos as you say at that age they just tell everyone!!