Boobie Moan !!

Had an argument with my dad last night, which led to him storming to bed and slamming the door! Jesus what did i say...


the situation:

Have been wanting a BA for as long as i can remember and now getting older decided i would look into getting it done.. which i have been...

So went to MYA had a consultation , blah blah blah..
my dad works on the oil rigs soo don't really get to speak much as hes like always 2-3 weeks at a time. but anyway when he rang my mam told my dad that i want a boob job, he said that it was fine as-long as i knew what i was doing and could financially pay for it...

my first plan was to get a 0% credit card, pay for it that way and pay the credit card back in 12 months which i could afford to do...

he got home, told him what i was doing - he said i don't want you doing that , you'll get your self into debt, im sensible i would never just get a credit card to go mad shopping ect, this was for an actual reason..  He said if you wait a while ill give you £1500 towards your boobs if you save up £2500 .. so agreed.. so i would have the £2500 by October..

When away done some more research.. though about my money i have coming in and said.. well if i have £1500 by May and my dad gives my £1500 in May (my birthday is may also) ill have £3000 ... MY BA is costing me £4790 .. so i only have to get £1790..

so went on spire website and noticed i could get a first medical loan for the remaining amount i need.. its 0% apr also...

so i told my dad my PLAN..

he wasn't very happy , he said i had it all planned out for January 2015, i went JANUARY no one said anything about January .. its like hes trying to take over my decisions.. I said no dad this is the way im doing it.. he said your daft doing it that way.. whats wrong with waiting till January and paying it all upfront, no monthly bills ...

which really What is the difference of saving up the £3000 and paying the rest monthly from a first medical loan? when i would be putting that money away every month anyway .. regardless.. just mean's this way ill have my boobs and i could easily pay that money off within 6 months... 

HE said .. well you know what my decision is but ya take NO NOTICE and stormed to bed, slamming doors    

i went to my mam, what is he's problem.. her reply " he'll just be worried thinking your rushing into things.. putting me off till January secretly hoping ill not go through with it" 

TBH im am not rushing into things.. its not like im booking my op date the next day after my main consultation i am booking it for the end of may start of June which is like a good 4 month away!!!

im just so annoyed with him!! had to get this off my chest..

i just don't see why he is so backed up about it , getting a loan for the remaining sum its 6 and 3's ..

May i just add that he doesn't know how long Ive wanted this and looking into this , i dont speak to him about these things really.. only just recently so i think thats why he thinks im rushing into it... i even asked my mam if she thought i was rushing into things and she said no im not..

 

may come across Spoilt but its not the case, am i being UN-realstic cos i dont think i am?

opinions accepted haha!!

xx

Hey Ambz. He's just looking out for his baby girl is all. A lot of parents find it difficult to come to terms with things like this. Give him time, sit and discuss things as adults (which you are, and can make your own life decisions. Sometimes they need reminding of that...) and hopefully he'll come around.

Can I offer some financial advice though? If you can, steer clear of the loan. They will rip you off in an instant. If you're looking for that little extra, absolutely your best bet is a 0% credit card. Not only do you have the 0% period in which you will definitely pay it back, you're also insured for that money if anything were to go awry. In fact, the best thing you could do (if you can get the credit) is put the whole amount on the card, and then the following month (once the money has had time to register its spent in the bank) pay as much as you possibly can off with the cash you've saved and from your dad. That way, the full amount is insured in case the company comes into financial troubles or something, and you have the beginnings of a great credit rating.

A lot of people see credit cards as the devils work, but as long as you manage them properly, and don't go nuts with spending, they are the best way to get a loan. Personally, I got a credit card when I was 18 so I could get a credit rating. I put £30 petrol on it every month, and paid it off in full every month. Its now my 'me spending' card, but I still pay off in full every month. I also have one that I took out for spending abroad at 0% commission. This is what I ended up putting my BA on at 0% spending for 12m. I knew I wouldn't pay it off in full before the end of the 0%, so Im transferring it to another card. You just have to be smart, and not borrow more than you can afford to pay back.

If you sit down with your dad and explain all of this, how you've done your research, you know what you're plan is financially, you're not going into this blind and you're taking it seriously, hopefully he'll come round. The fact you're getting some deposit from him is show of his support and love already. He's just worried about you getting into trouble.

  First a HUG for you!
Now.. you are really young and I am sorry but I totally see why your dad's concerned, remember he loves you oodles and has you very best interests at heart.

I got in LOADS of debt at your age, I worked in a bank of all places at the time and swore I would manage my credit card.... I did.... for a little while but it was too easy to abuse it. I am talking thousands . I am still paying it off 10 years later.


I learnt the hard way     

I just say go so careful with any credit lovely, be it a loan or credit card, etc.
Definitely save all that you can first.....It will make things 100% more easier long term.

Are you at home still I assume? What about when you wanna move out? That is not cheap, even to rent and that will come soon enough...if you have debt from a BA, much of your monthly outgoings would surely go towards paying it off?

I hate to sound so negative but you know here people are encouraged to be honest and tell it how it is.

If you still want to go ahead, it is I am afraid a case of trying to talk your dad round a bit, if that's possible?

Aaaaah BIG hugs
xx

I assume he's worried, your his little girl and you want to have elective surgery. Try talking to him someone x

I think he's just worried about his little girl tbh hun! He may be going the wrong away about it but really it's just concern, he will come around x

Charlii wrote:Hey Ambz. He's just looking out for his baby girl is all. A lot of parents find it difficult to come to terms with things like this. Give him time, sit and discuss things as adults (which you are, and can make your own life decisions. Sometimes they need reminding of that...) and hopefully he'll come around.

Can I offer some financial advice though? If you can, steer clear of the loan. They will rip you off in an instant. If you're looking for that little extra, absolutely your best bet is a 0% credit card. Not only do you have the 0% period in which you will definitely pay it back, you're also insured for that money if anything were to go awry. In fact, the best thing you could do (if you can get the credit) is put the whole amount on the card, and then the following month (once the money has had time to register its spent in the bank) pay as much as you possibly can off with the cash you've saved and from your dad. That way, the full amount is insured in case the company comes into financial troubles or something, and you have the beginnings of a great credit rating.

A lot of people see credit cards as the devils work, but as long as you manage them properly, and don't go nuts with spending, they are the best way to get a loan. Personally, I got a credit card when I was 18 so I could get a credit rating. I put £30 petrol on it every month, and paid it off in full every month. Its now my 'me spending' card, but I still pay off in full every month. I also have one that I took out for spending abroad at 0% commission. This is what I ended up putting my BA on at 0% spending for 12m. I knew I wouldn't pay it off in full before the end of the 0%, so Im transferring it to another card. You just have to be smart, and not borrow more than you can afford to pay back.

If you sit down with your dad and explain all of this, how you've done your research, you know what you're plan is financially, you're not going into this blind and you're taking it seriously, hopefully he'll come round. The fact you're getting some deposit from him is show of his support and love already. He's just worried about you getting into trouble.

HI Charlii,

Great advice..
Sitting down and talking to my dad is hard, hes always got to be right (hes one of them) haha, but i will try too make im understand.. Luckily my Brothers Partner works in a bank so he knows all about the credit cards ect.. and is gonna help me get a 0% apr one.. but we have tried before for me and it declined.. i dont have any credit whats so ever so i think thats why.. so will have to be in my mams name (pray to god i can get one sorted) ..

so defo stay away from first medical loan then?

i am really sensible and i know i can afford it and it will be paid off everymonth, im only geting the card for my BA then not using it again for anything else.. not even for a 10p mix-up haha 

I have my own car, i pay for that monthly well not the car, the insurance cos i bought the car straight up ,and i pay my iPhone bill every month which is a BOMB .. i have a permanent steady job, decent wage coming in, so i dont see how ill have any problems.. i just hope he can see that.

krizzooo1 wrote:  First a HUG for you!
Now.. you are really young and I am sorry but I totally see why your dad's concerned, remember he loves you oodles and has you very best interests at heart.

I got in LOADS of debt at your age, I worked in a bank of all places at the time and swore I would manage my credit card.... I did.... for a little while but it was too easy to abuse it. I am talking thousands . I am still paying it off 10 years later.


I learnt the hard way     

I just say go so careful with any credit lovely, be it a loan or credit card, etc.
Definitely save all that you can first.....It will make things 100% more easier long term.

Are you at home still I assume? What about when you wanna move out? That is not cheap, even to rent and that will come soon enough...if you have debt from a BA, much of your monthly outgoings would surely go towards paying it off?

I hate to sound so negative but you know here people are encouraged to be honest and tell it how it is.

If you still want to go ahead, it is I am afraid a case of trying to talk your dad round a bit, if that's possible?

Aaaaah BIG hugs
xx

HI Krizz, thanks for your concern :)
yeah im still at home, and moving out anytime soon is out of the question haha... you think my dad would let me leave? haha not a chance

Anyway £1790 isnt that much really, it wouldn't last long term, it would be paid off within 5 months, id understand if i hadnt saved any money up at all and then got a Credit card and was then paying the whole amount off which would take 2 years or summit but in my eyes i can more than manage £1790 && it may not even be that much i need to borrow might be less, cos my birthday is in may and family members are contributing too..

My mam is so supportive, i think Males dont understand as well (not being sexist here) .. my OH who ive been with for 5 years (since school days narwww) he supportive but still has his doubts..

IM still gonna go ahead, gonna have a talk with him tonight when i finish work..

Thanks Girls
xx

KayDeeStafford wrote:I think he's just worried about his little girl tbh hun! He may be going the wrong away about it but really it's just concern, he will come around x

Yeah, last night i thought he was just getting on to me, but i asked my mam what his problem was and she said he'll just be worried..

Just rang my mam at lunch and asked if he had said anything about it this morning ..

He said "she should just wait , shes just gonnnah get into debt" but my mam said to him , that i can financially cope with it and just to let me do it my way.

x

let the dust settle and then have another chat with your dad ...0% credit card is defo the way to go ...why wait and save its not the 1970s any more, as long as you can pay it off in a year and cut the card up when youve had your op and not go shopping for sexy bra then your all good ....i paid for my nose this way and so glad i didn't wait and save the money... lifes to short to have a big nose and small boobs ahaahxxx

sending hugs   your dads probly just worried cause your his little girl and he loves you the way u are just sit him down and have a chat xx

adeledoublel wrote:let the dust settle and then have another chat with your dad ...0% credit card is defo the way to go ...why wait and save its not the 1970s any more, as long as you can pay it off in a year and cut the card up when youve had your op and not go shopping for sexy bra then your all good ....i paid for my nose this way and so glad i didn't wait and save the money... lifes to short to have a big nose and small boobs ahaahxxx

Haha Adele you made me laugh, no life certainly is too short.

xxx

Gemma134uk wrote:sending hugs   your dads probly just worried cause your his little girl and he loves you the way u are just sit him down and have a chat xx

Thanks Gem, yeah i know bless him.
xx

Hi Hun,
As a parent and as someone who wants a BA I can see both sides of the story. I agree though let the dust settle a bit and try and talk calmly with him about it again. I bet he is thinking about it as well and agonising what to say / do. He sounds a lot like my dad - but fortunately I don't have to listen to him anymore because I'm 32 lol. It'll all turn out right in the end - he just wants the best for you and men sometimes have a funny way of showing this.

Also I would advocate the 0 percent credit card over the loan any day as long as you pay it off ASAP and don't be tempted to add other stuff on there (that's the mother in me coming out)
Xxx

HI MrsCheese,

Thank you for your advice && i can promise once ive paid for my BA the card is getting snapped up- No more spending on it!!

xxx

Hi, babe!
First of all I just want to give you a virtual hug!! :)
It can be very hard to talk to our parents about things like this. They can't (especially your dad) empathise with you because they don't desperately want a BA and they don't know what it feels like to want something so much for yourself. Your dad is a man and doesn't realise how your boobs, or lack of boobs, are affecting your self-esteem and confidence. All he's worried about right now is the money issues and he's also be worrying about whether you're rushing into this decision without giving it a second thought. He'll probably be frightened of the health risks and the overall result of a BA/ You have to remember that he isn't knowledgeable at all about boob jobs as he won't have researched all the info that you have.
I think you really need to sit down with both of your parents and talk through why you really want this boob job and all the reasons behind it. You also need to assure them that you have put a LOT of thought into this and haven't just woken up one day and decided on getting a BA. You need to assure your dad that you are going to be very responsible with your money and are well aware of how to pay for it financially. Try approaching your dad on a day that he's in a good, stress-free mood :) It can make all the difference!!
I remember when my mum told my dad that I wanted a boob job and he went sick! He was like 'That's absolutely ridiculous! She just wants to be like one of the celebs. She's going to look like Jordan and people will think she's a joke!!' However, when he saw me crying and after I had a 1 hour talk with him as to why I wanted a BA, he totally changed his opinion and 100% supported me in my decision. He ended up saying 'You definitely need to do this. This is something that you really need for your own self-esteem and confidence. I'm very proud you made this decision!' ---So my point is, your dad will come around in time. You need to be patient with him and your mum and you need to ensure that they know you have done a lot of research and are confident that you will be able to afford to pay it off in the next year :)
It may also help to talk through all the pros and cons of a BA and reassure them that the risks are actually low. (Remember that your dad may think that BAs are more risky than they actually are!)

I wish you all the best of luck, babe!! let me know how it goes! Good luck, good luck, good luck!!

Take care, babe xxxxxxxx

  Excellent advice Tigertonix. It is true there are massive misconceptions about BA's and the majority of people of not of aware of all the info. Or the reasons why 'real' women pursue this. ( both positives and negatives I should say) When I first sat down with my mother and sister to discuss the fact that I was having a BA some of the things they came out with were laughable!!! (Cancer, glamour models, porn stars etc.) However, I have 'educated' them lol and they now seem to have a better understanding of why I want to do this and the 'real' risks involved.

MrsCheese wrote:  Excellent advice Tigertonix. It is true there are massive misconceptions about BA's and the majority of people of not of aware of all the info. Or the reasons why 'real' women pursue this. ( both positives and negatives I should say) When I first sat down with my mother and sister to discuss the fact that I was having a BA some of the things they came out with were laughable!!! (Cancer, glamour models, porn stars etc.) However, I have 'educated' them lol and they now seem to have a better understanding of why I want to do this and the 'real' risks involved.

Thank you, babe!! I know, a lot of people think boob jobs are extremely risky and very fake haha! My mum and sister were exactly the same!! My mum mentioned cancer and the fact that I might never get a job because I'll look so fake! She also said that my whole family will be ashamed of me because I'll look like a 'porn star' or a prostitute. Trust me, I had the lot haha! But then on the day of my BA I showed my mum my boobs and she said 'Ahh they're not even that big are they?' Hahaha, so now she's very happy with my boobs and she says they look very natural! She also told me the other day how proud she is that I went through with is despite hearing all negative opinions from everyone around me!
I'm glad your mum and sister have come around. It just takes time, a lot of patience and a whole lot of educating haha!!

xxxxxxxxx

I agree Mrs Cheese, Fantastic Advice, i have took it all on board..

Thanks TigerTonix
xxx

ambzdee94 wrote:I agree Mrs Cheese, Fantastic Advice, i have took it all on board..

Thanks TigerTonix
xxx

No probs, honey!
I hope you're okay!xxx

My mother is well educated about BA, shes listened to me for so long bashing my gum, just have to tackle my dad... im gonnah get my brother to assure him also , my brothers a nurse and hes says ill be absolutey fine..

really i think its a bonus have a nurse as a brother , cos if im poorly he comes up to see whats wrong and advises me.
But just say if i had any trouble with my incisions (touch-wood i dont) he should be able to help me.. (my brother is Gay) so this is why i dont mind having a peek. 
if it was my other brother, i wouldn't let him haha!!

xxx

Your dad will come around in time. Ur still so young in his eyes and will always be his lil girl. Let the dust settle and maybe ask him to look at things you've researched.
I definitely would not get a credit card. You think its easy to get rid of. Trust me its not, they just keep adding onto it.

I had been joking with both my parents from the age of 17/18 that I would get a BA and then said realistically its too expensive. Now im going through the nhs at 24yrs old as I have asymmetric and tuberous boobs. Both my parents are supportive although I got mu mum to tell me dad. I'm still his lil girl but he is very supportive.

Let your dad think it over, after all he has said he'll help you out, so is obviously wanting to support you. So let him come round in his own time.

Good luck babe

Hey,

I saved most of the money for mine (cost just over £4, 000) as had some compensation come from ppi (£2, 500) then managed to save £75 per month to make the £3, 000 and pit the remaing £1, 000 on a credit card (0%) and now paying £100 per month to, pay it off.

Like you mum didn't want me to have them done when  I did as she wanted to be here to look after me ( she was away in cyprus plus was the only holiday I could get from work). She either wanted me to wait til this year or when she got back which I said no to as it was my choice as to when I had it and just said to her -if I lived on my own I would have to do things myself.

hey I completely understand where youre coming from, im booked for beginning of april and that already seems like a long time to wait... plus my mum and dad were not happy at first and said no at first! but I made them understand how unhappy I was and how much it meant... maybe you need to talk more about your feelings rather than the plans so he understands your point of view? That worked for me :) xx

rachij wrote:Hey,

I saved most of the money for mine (cost just over £4, 000) as had some compensation come from ppi (£2, 500) then managed to save £75 per month to make the £3, 000 and pit the remaing £1, 000 on a credit card (0%) and now paying £100 per month to, pay it off.

Like you mum didn't want me to have them done when  I did as she wanted to be here to look after me ( she was away in cyprus plus was the only holiday I could get from work). She either wanted me to wait til this year or when she got back which I said no to as it was my choice as to when I had it and just said to her -if I lived on my own I would have to do things myself.

hey rachij.

That what i want to do hun

xx

Ind94 wrote:hey I completely understand where youre coming from, im booked for beginning of april and that already seems like a long time to wait... plus my mum and dad were not happy at first and said no at first! but I made them understand how unhappy I was and how much it meant... maybe you need to talk more about your feelings rather than the plans so he understands your point of view? That worked for me :) xx

and india he was fine about it but its coz ive said im wanting it done may time after my birthday hes moaning... now when i try to talk to him about it hes says a dinnit wanna know , tell ya mam .. he knows how i feel about it.. i think its just the money.. cos he said hell pay for it at first if i gave him time to save the money and waited longer but then i said just give me £1500 towards it for may ..  my option is much better in my eyes he just cant see it. 

haha xx

xx