sorry to have a moan but......

Hey, 


Day1

As you know I had my BA on monday, and got dischargerd yesterday, had no medications or antibiotics to brin home just my own at home ( paracetamol).    Well yesterday the journey home was horrible my sister didn't even ask how i was before we leftwent over all the pot holes and round roundabouts too quick so it hurt my boobs  - also when got home I went to bed as was tired and in a bit of pain,I woke up and she wasn't in, I rung her but no answer so had to make my own drink.      Then when she did return she didn't even ask how I was just went to her room ( think she doesn't want to help me!!!!!). Ohhh forgot to add that some of my work friends have said if I need anything to text them which is nice.

DAY 2

Well this morning I woke up just before she left to go to the gym, and asked her to get me some more paracetamol as think I over did it yesterday, well she said she wasn't going near any shops or they wouldn't be open after she finished at the gym.  This morning I've found some soluble paracetamols in the kitchen ( they are foul tasting!!!!!!)but have eased the pain slightly later on may have some co codamol andsee how they go.   Just going to take it easy today (if at all possible) having to do most things for myself!!!!!

Oh rach :( that's not very nice of her at all! You need the help :(  you have been through a serious op and will be in discomfort/finding things difficult..
Ive seen a few women here who have not used the codamol but still needed paracetamol to help ease the pain..i think maybe give her a text asking her to please get you some if she can...im sure there will be a shop open! Sorry to hear your not getting the help you need :( xx

Hi jen, 

I have text her but too late she's come back from the gym and gone back to bed!!!! I have got enough for the rest of today but it's tomorrow and the rest of week -seems as if I'll have to be independent and walk down to Stone when I'm feeling better. 

Even though my parents are in Cyprus (on a cruise from today) I have text mum and she has even text sis to ask her to get some for me.

Well when I go for my review appointment next tuesday I might mention it to my surgeon that I didn't get any help from my sister

Oh you poor love! I cant imagine doing anything for myself on day 1&2! I even needed hubbys help pulling my underwear up, let alone fetching drinks etc! Are you able to get hold of one of your work friends to pick you up some painkillers? Try and get yourself 'set up' so you dont have to move much, big bottle of water, snacky bits, pills, tv remote etc. Hope you feel better

That's so unfair for you! You could really do with some support - well, lots of support for the first few days but just some would be a start!! 

How old is your sister? Do you generally have a good relationship or do you think you having the BA is the problem? 

Xxx

She's the same age ( we're twins) I think it's because of my BA and that she isn't interested in looking after me. When I left hospital yesterday I did feel like she wanted to get out of there pretty quick -don't ask me why.  As you've read she's been doing her own thing ( going out not telling me/ leaving me a note to say where she has gone etc. But she did this before my op anyway.  

My parents are away in Cyprus til november but I can text them to ask her to get me some more paracetamol etc. But why should I have to? 

Also when I go for my review do I mention that I had no help at home after I left hospital?

It does sound like she could be a little jealous maybe? That she's not trying to help you at all and sort of ignoring you!
You could tell them at your review but i don't think they will be able to do anything for you because obviously we need to find someone to look after us in recovery... I'm not sure see what the other ladies say xx

She probably doesn't realise just how difficult everything is after this kind of operation. I think some people are niave as to how intrusive the surgery you have been through is and are not as sympathetic as it was elective. Personally I think whatever surgery you have had, and why deserves the right support. Especially as this is something you felt strong enough about to do and believed there would be support at home for you. 

As far as mentioning it at your review, i dont think there is anything they can do to help, but at least maybe lettting them know, they can help identify and highlight chores and movements that you really should not be doing - like not trying to do the housework, lifting and stuff- I assume you and your sis are supposed to be taking care of the house while your parents are away. You don't want to go hurting yourself or overdoing things just because your sis isn't helping you.  It will be a case of, if she isn't doing it, then neither do you!! Dont be tempted! 

hopefully your work mates will rally round and help you out.  
Xxx

Rachij, you poor darling c'mere hun   if you lived near me, I'd ensure you had all you need lovely... That's not on at all leaving you so early in your recovery  

Don't worry about not having any anti-bs, lots of women are given them through their IV in a strong dose, so that's not at all unusual hun. Some surgeons prefer to give in tablet form, others as yours does prefers a big dose through IV.

They should have given you enough painkillers though to get you through the week.

You're going to need painkillers babe. Maybe tomorrow when for most women the majority of the swelling kicks in (this isn't the same for everyone) but you should be prepared babe.

Do you think your sister might read this thread if you asked her? Pain management is essential to help you have a good recovery. Without that you are going to find it hard, so pain killers periodically timed so your body is continually topped up is what's going to help you most - if you don't feel your sister is interested in helping Rach, then take your friends up on their offer and get help from them.

Now isn't the time to be proud lovely... You need help so do get it where you can.

You'll be fine in a couple of days, but for the next 2 or 3 days you really could use help not only ensuring you have your meds to hand when you need them but also ensuring you have a main meal and always water to hand for you... Drink or a light meal, not so much hun. It will do you good to get yourself up and you won't harm yourself standing for 5 minutes to get yourself a drink, or to make yourself a sandwich if you're hungry, its important no matter how badly you feel that you do get yourself up and about throughout the day.... But a little help wouldn't go a miss if you really didn't feel you could get up and needed a cuppa.

I hope your sister realises what a b*tch she's being... Sorry, I know I shouldn't have said that and if she's reading... Well, that's how you're being toward your sister right now and I hope she steps up and helps you, if not... You're lucky hun. You have friends that want to help you - take them up on that babe. Xx

I know exactly what you mean with the car ride home! I cried of pain during my ride home.
Is your sister a little jealous maybe?

I really hope she or someone else will look after you better. As Cookie says, if I lived nearby I would come and help you.
Try to stay positive even if you are disappointed at your sister. Your body needs you to be positive and strong now so it can heal!

From when I booked the date for my op, she wasn't keen as I think she knew she would have to look after as parents are away, 

The two weeks before op I sacrificed going the gym to make sure the house was clean and tidy so  i don't have to do much these next two weeks.    She is selfish as the sat2 before op she went to get me some nibbles for after op (which I paid for) and even watched me sort them into what I was taking with me, I coild tell she wanted some -so being the girl I am I gave her some with no thanks!!!! That's how ungrateful she is. Now she won't even go and get me painkillers!!!!!

Sorry to hear this hunny, explain to her that at this moment in time you NEED her and she's the only one you can rely on at the moment and to put her jelousy or opinions on ba aside and help you. 

I'm sure she'd be more helpful if you had a knee op or shoulder surgery etc and this shouldn't be any different. 

As a sister you're there for each other through thick and thin and it's not about competition. 

Tell her to not be so stubborn and that all your asking for is a bit of help and compassion. 

Hope you get it sorted soon hunny x

Call your friends Rach... It seems they WANT to help unlike your sister.

Seeing your friends helping you will also put your sister to shame - which she very much deserves. Xx

Is there anyone you can call that can go to the pharmacy for you?
I can't understand why she behaves like this? I would have gone to the pharmacy for a person I didn't even like if that person was in pain.

Just to add, even if our parents ask her to get anything she always wants something in return or say something costs £3.50 she'll say £4.00 and makes 50p!!!! 

Well it will be my money that's paying for my painkillers anyway so she should go  even if it's just down the local garage ( if they have painkillers)

Hiya Chick,

I'm about 40 mins from you, If you need some help I can come and help you...I really don't mind,  I cant imagine what you're going through  

If you need some meds and your sister is being totally unhelpful I can drop some down tonight? Or I could post some or something (Secret drug dealer ha ha!)

Glad you're op seemed to go well even though your sister s being totally unhelpful

xxx

Lias6246 wrote:Hiya Chick,

I'm about 40 mins from you, If you need some help I can come and help you...I really don't mind,  I cant imagine what you're going through  

If you need some meds and your sister is being totally unhelpful I can drop some down tonight? Or I could post some or something (Secret drug dealer ha ha!)

Glad you're op seemed to go well even though your sister s being totally unhelpful

xxx

You are an angel Lias. Good Karma 

The 50p will be worth it just to get your meds Rach... Infact, give her a pound and tell her to fill her boots! JUST GET YOUR MEDS!!!

Lisa - you're so lovely. That's a very kind offer  

Thank you to all of you, made me feel better now. 

Lias may take you up on that even though the weather is horrible, 
Will see if one of my friends will get me some later as she is popping round.

Do a little shop online next day delivery xxx Get all you fancy and the meds you need x

Nurse Lisa to the rescue

That is really bad, I do think she's got a bit of the green eyed monster. I really hope you get some tablets.
I'm surprised they didn't give you any to come home with. I had loads.....
I hope your friend can help, or Lisa's offer would help, bless her, that's so lovely........
Hope you get some help and get sorted....
Good luck Hunni, wish I lived closer to you!!!!! Xxxxx

Thank you to everyone who's taken time to reply and suggest ways/ means to get some painkillers.

A big thank you to lias as she is getting me some and bringing them to me later :)

Fabulous!! Lisa is an angel in disguise! 

It's a shame that you sis can't see past her own needs and recognise yours. 

Xx

Yeah I know, she's gone to pick up her new glasses from stafford - I text her to saycould she get me the painkillers but she put back she only had enough money for car park and had forgot her bank  cards!!!