Going to have to tell my parents..

Would you know if your mum has already mentioned it to your dad? I mean, its not really a convo a dad would start up with his daughter, he might know but aint saying anything due to the nature of the topic and being embarrassed?
x

no idea but i would doubt it, as there wasn't really time last night and today they had a long drive home- don't think she'd want to mention it in the car in case he's so shocked he steers off the road lol.

will leave her to get used to the idea for a couple of weeks and then discuss, i'm going to their place in a few weeks so that may be another conversation then, but will see! at the moment i'm just glad the first bit is over! x

hi ladies, really sorry to have to re-awaken this thread, and its going to be a bit of a negative post so if you don't want your day spoiled, don't read this now ;)

so after i had told my mum about my plans last weekend, i took the opportunity last night on skype to tell her i had booked and what my date was, which she didn't take very well.

she basically started with saying 'we have to talk' a million times over, and i said its not a 'have to' conversation, if you would like to talk to me we can absolutely do that, but by the sounds of it what you mean is you want to put me off it, and thats not going to happen.

she said she didn't believe it would make me happier, came out with all sorts of sweeping statements about how most people would prefer naturals etc, and the worst thing was she looked in disdain on the surgeons and used words like 'butchering' which isn't very pleasant to listen to.

she also asked who i had talked to and who knew, and i said some friends and family members, and when she asked who, i said i wouldn't say as it looked like she was ready to pounce on them for talking to me about it which wasn't fair. Basically everyone else i've spoken to ended up saying, if you think thats going to make you happier then go for it!
i also hope my sister doesn't get a mouthful for agreeing to come over and help me in those early post-op days.. i did say she wasn't to go talking to her about this, because my sister was nice enough not to judge, and whatever opinions she has in her head about my decision, she is coming to help me because i asked for help, and thats what family is for.

she also said in regards to my dad and anyone else, she wouldn't be telling anyone, and if i wanted anyone to know i would have to tell them myself.

i will be at my parents place for 2 days in a couple of weeks and have agreed to listen to what my mum has to say (which will NOT be a pleasant conversation), but i told her she would not be able to put me off it, as my decision had been made and i was really excited about it and it was a shame i couldn't share my excitement with anyone and she said she would never share excitement about something like that.

so as i said ladies, sorry for the negative post but had to get it off my chest as it wasn't a nice conversation to have had and to know that at least one more of these is looming is not nice either. and then having to tell my dad as well!

hope you're all having lovely sundays x

Hi Blue sorry to hear your mums a bit upset about your decision!
It seems that shes just very worried etc which is normal. I know my mum is and she is very focused on the risk side of things and the fact that i would need further surgery.
My way of dealing with that is to do as much research as i can (always on here asking questions lol) and to be able to answer her questions. She understands now that this is something im not going to change my mind about and that i want her support. Shes coming to see the surgeon with me so that she can ask any questions too. It has helped to put her mind at ease a little.
My dad was a bit more difficult but thats to be expected! its hard to tell your dad this type of thing and although he supports me, he also doesn't think they will make me happier (which they will)
All i would say is for you this is the right thing to do and they will understand that i would think in time. Maybe try to get your mum more involved if shes willing because then she will understand more!
Thinking of you and hope all gets sorted :)
Jen xx

Ohhh lovely gimme a hug i know it is hard for you when people aren't on side and don't see your way of thinking. Just try to understand her concerns and imagine if it was your daughter and no-one in your family had had it done before either.

I got all this talk from my mum and dad after telling them i was getting a tattoo which i had been planning for 2 years so there is no way i was ever going to discuss this with them because i knew i could be doing without the grief i was going to get.

I'm just sorry to read this because it seemed quite promising when you first told her. Ultimately tho your mum loves you and is only watching your back and with every operation comes risks which is probably why she is so panicky now; she thought you would change your mind. Don't think your mum ever imagined it would really get to this stage it's just shock, she'll start to settle again soon x x x x

I'm really sorry to hear this. Having unsupportive parents is such a shame but don't let it put you off. My mum was the same. She didn't understand (diff for her as she has boobs) and I also think she was embarrassed to have a daughter having a boob job! Guess she was expecting me to end up like a glamour model!

I had the op with the support of my hubby. I only had a small change up to a b cup and it was never brought up again. I recently had to have them replaced. Wasn't going to tell her after last time but thought she should know as I was having a ga. she was great. Really helpful, completely different. Her only negative comment was when I talked a out going slightly bigger! I've only gone to a c/d and again since she's seen be and realised I don't look like Jordan she had been fine.

I think they worry about us having an op and can't understand as they don't have same size issues as us. They also see all the celebs having huge implants and think that's what we will look like. Maybe show her pics? Hope the chat goes ok. Remember why you doing it, she'll prob be fine after like mine was!!!

I agree with Redtulip, think that there is a stigma attached to boob jobs because of how the celebs have had theirs like Jordan and Jodie Marsh and Vicky B. Think after you've had it your mum will calm down again =] x

I dropped it in very casually and didnt make a big deal out of it when I told my mom, I'm not telling my Dad lol

Good luck xx

Blue Im sorry you have had a hard time with your mum over your decision to have a BA.
Like all the ladies have said shes probably worried about the possibilities of complications and risk but lets face it, peopl take risks everyday i.e aeroplanes, cruises, evening crossing the road. At the end of the day your a women now and she has to accept that you have made this decision for you and your not asking her for permission, youve only told her because you feel she needs to know being your mum.
Dont let it get you down blue, you have your sister on your side and us on bjsf too!! x

ladies you are all so lovely, thank you!!

so glad i can come on here for support! i'm not going to let it put me off, i have explained to her that my decision is made and i have done my research etc etc, and she laughs off research as 'looking at glamour magazines' and i said that's not research, research is informing oneself about the risks and benefits (again i heard a negative comment on how there were no benefits!).

anyhow not to rant on, as you all say, she may calm down a bit after our next chat, but i think you're right when you say she's probably embarrassed.

again thanks ladies for listening and commenting xxxx

Ahhhh blue, all the things your mum has said are exactly word for word what my mum will say, which is why I wont be telling her. Well done you though, you braved it really well. x

Oh blue I'm sorry your mum is not as supportive as you'd hoped. I'm sure this is just her way if trying to change your mind cuz she's worried. Most often in the media you either hear about glamour models, huge implants and botched BAs, so I understand why she's worried. I'm sure that in time, when she realises that ur mind is made up, ull have her support. You just have to be patient and stand ur ground. Maybe give her links or research material so that she can be as informed as u are and u can show her that the risks of BA are much lower that other things ppl do without a second thought. I know it must be stressful for u now, but I'm sure it'll sort itself out- these things usually do. You've done ur bit and informed them, as best u can. Good luck and we're here for u xx

thanks so much for your comments girls, it's so great to have support from all of you!