Going to have to tell my parents..

So I'm spending the weekend with my folks and as I will prob be booking my BA next week as soon as june dates for my surgeon are published, i'm going to have to tell them this sunday..

I do feel like I have to tell them especially because of the GA and risks etc, and we are normally reasonably close, and I wouldn't want to hide my boobs from them afterwards, as I'll be proud of them :)
BUT I know they will be dead against it and give me a really hard time.
When I told my youngest sister, the first thing she said to me was 'our parents are going to kill you' so I anticipate a reeeeaally fun conversation there - NOT!!!

So I suppose what I wanted to ask you ladies is, if you told your parents, how did you start the conversation? Sat them down, dropped it in casually? I have no idea what is best!!

Thanks ladies, and will probably need a bit of cheering up after 'the talk' x

Sorry i cant really help with that as i decided not to tell my parents! I was concerned that they'd notice but being November and cold i was able to cover up pretty well. I think if i had to tell them i would have done it very casually and probably out somewhere when having a coffee!! Good luck xx

I hated telling mine, especially my dad.... how do you broach that subject with your dad "Your little girl wants surgery to get bigger boobs"!!
But it wasn't as awful as I expected, I just started off by telling them I wasn't happy with what I had and I already booked in for a consultation. Pretty much told them I had made up my mind and they weren't going to change it but I wanted to keep them informed and not go behind their backs... I think this helped making out I didnt want to keep it a secret from them.
Hope it goes ok hun
x

It wont be half as bad as what your thinking blue, I was so nervous about telling my parents but just bit the bullet with a phonecall and it couldnt of gone better.
I just said mum Im getting my boobs done and she said good for you, as long as your happy. My dad said good luck and as long as its a reputable company he dont care lol. My mums not the surgery type which was why I was stressing about telling her, it couldnt of gone better since telling them my dad has not mentioned it once (not that a dad would) and my mum has only rung to comfirm dates so she can book 2 days off work to have my daughters! Trust me you will be fine and I bet the reaction you get isnt half as bad as what you expect. x x

My mum was on holiday with my dad so i text telling her "I'm going to see a man about some boobs" haha. (She knew boobies were on my wishlist) She just worried about me going too big. My dad did the usual "your not finished growing yet, I think your silly". But i was deadly serious and i think they thought I wouldnt commit. Theyre both fine and have supported me. & in a weird way I think proud cus i work hard to reach goals and this is just an example of that. :)

A friend of my family had a facelift with the surgeon I am using and so I was talking about that with my parents and I said I think I might go and see him. I just explained how I was feeling about my body/breasts and said that I thought this would really help my confidence. They are obviously concerned and my mum is showing an interest is what size I am going for (prob because she would die of embarrassment if I ended up like Jordan!). I wouldn't say that they are over joyed at the prospect, but they do know me and that it will make me happy and trust my judgement.
Its a difficult decision to make and a difficult conversation to have, but I am sure you will have their support once you tell them how you feel and how much you have looked into it etc etc.

I do think about how I would feel if my girls told me they were going to have it done, even though i am having it done myself I'd be quite upset (not only because they are both under 2 years old!). I would wonder why they felt they needed to change themselves as to me they are perfect, but at the end of the day I love them and would want them to be happy. I would want them to be well informed, I would want to know everything about what they were having done and would want to support them.

I would say tell them and make sure you are very honest about why you have come to the decision and give them time to come round x

Hi I just told mine yesterday!!!!!
They were talking about how they'd booked a hol round then and suddenly I thought I am just going to do it! So I just said when u r away I am going to get my boobs done! I am so glad. My mum thought it was great, she was not surprised as I have mentioned it before, but did wonder if I was going to look like Jordan ha ha! (Guard I just read ur post at the same time as mine that ur mum thought that to!) And dad was ok. He is quite scientific/medical and so I emailed him a link to the PS's qualifications. I also emailed him, not so embaressing then, all the medical reasons this was needed (for me its post breast feeding effects), I dont want him to think I just want big boobs (altho I do want that too!).
So I would say think/write down the reasons ur parents will be worried eg finances, risks of GA, risks of surgery, wanting u to be happy with ur body without surgery, how u will cope with ur kids or whatever they might be, and them arm yourself with the answers so u can present to them a good case for why this will make u so happy along with some info to alleviate their main worries. After that u might have to just give them time to get used to it, and once ur boobs are in place and ur fine and happy they will have no choice but to be delighted for u!
GL, hope it goes well for u! I can say now that i have told them, I am more excited than ever, that was weighing on my mind and now that burden has gone! x

My parents are very anti-cosmetic surgery so I knew that it was never going to be easy telling them, but because my mind was made up i also knew that I'd just have to take whatever they said on the chin - nothing they would have to say would change my mind.

I was right, they pulled every bad surgery surgery, dug out every bad surgery bodge job out the book, they told me about the risks of 'dying' laying much emphasis on that and my mother even cried and asked me not to do it.. I literally had to go through that for 5 weeks till I had my surgery. Not only from them but also from my sister too. My husband also was and still is against anyone having cosmetic procedures but he's a good man and supports my decisions however he might feel.

You just have to know lovely that you're a grown woman. You're not discussing this with your parents to ask them for their acceptance. The decision is made and as your parents you feel they should know.

I very much made this clear to my parents, telling them how much I loved them but that the decision was mine to make and I was sure I wanted to go ahead with it.

When I had my BA it was never spoken of again. Its like it never happened lol. I'm fine with whatever my parents have to say though and nothing they said hurt me because I knew what they were saying was only out of love and care for me and I respect that they don't wish to discuss it now... Maybe its their generation and they find it embarrassing, I don't know... I don't really care if I'm honest, but I respect them enough to never discuss my BA in their company.

Just always know your parents love you babe and positive or negative whatever is said is out of love for you only, so be positive babe - your decision is made. You're not asking permission, you're simply including them in something you feel is an important decision in your life. Xx

i was bricking myself about telling my mum but then she opened a letter for me from one of the clinic's i'd had a consultation with thinking it was for my dad (we have the same initials!) and questioned me so i said it was something i'd been looking into and she was just 'well at the end of the day its your body but make sure you're being sensible and going somewhere reputable there's been a lot of horror stories in the papers lately'. and then nothing more was said about it for about 3 months until i booked it but then i wimped out doing it face to face and sent her a text just saying 'i've decided i'm going to go ahead with that surgery i was looking into' and she just replied with 'ok'. I don't really know her feelings about it tbh we're not 'that' kind of family who are all open and sharing but i'm sure she'd rather that i told her. We haven't told my dad though... told him i've got a bad back :/

thank you so much ladies, your posts and thoughts all mean a lot!!!

i will have to make sure i'm really well prepared with the answers to any sort of questions they might have..

but of course you are right in that my mind is made up, and i am not asking their permission but i would appreciate their support.

will keep you all updated, hope i don't chicken out as i do ultimately want to tell them in person!

I think I had an advantage with my parents as my sister had her boobs done a few years agao so they have been there and done that with her, shes had no complications and they are still doing right by her 8 years down the line. I was still nervous about the conversation as the only family i have spoke about my boobs to were my sis and OH so as far as everyone else knew, I was happy with my body. I told my mum first when i'd decided on my surgeon and booked my date and I justcame out with it, she said as long as id done my research then shes happy. I left her to tell my dad though for the same reason as the other women have mentioned, because its a weird convo to have with your daddy lol. He hasnt mentioned anything yet and neither will i, i wonder how long that will continue for, probs the day before the surgery lol. Best of luck in telling them!!

i have to tell them today, been freaking out about it all weekend!!
we're down in the country with relatives and don't want to ruin everyone's day so i'm thinking sometime late afternoon / evening where the least damage can be done??

my parents are very anti cosmetic surgery and no one I or we know has ever had any kind of cosmetic surgery, so i am treading on very unknown ground in their eyes and i know they won't take it very well....

but at least i'm going home tomo morning and so are they.. if they don't agree with my idea, we won't hav to spend too much longer in the same place!!

Good luck. The build up will be worse than the aftermath :) xxx

Hope all goes well sweetheart. You'll feel much better once this is out of the way and able to just focus on your BA then. xx

Good luck. xx

I haven't told my mum either.... I'm honestly thinking of just coming home after the op with them because I just can't stand to think about how negative she will be about it. She knows I want them and knows i went to a consultation, but i don't know if she thinks I'm definitely going ahead with it. At least if I come home with them she will just have to get used to it, and quickly!

Anytime I ever mentioned a boob job my mum wud go crazy at me sayin there's no way I shud even consider it wit all the risks so I didn't no how to tell her I was goin ahead wit it!it was gettin me down hidin it from her cos were very close but I felt I had to so a few weeks ago I just began to talk bout how I'd like one because I hate havin nothing there and I began to cry (that wasn't part if the plan but it just happened that I got upset ) I cudnt believe how well she took it she said if that's wat I wanted she wud support me and she has been so gud since she even came to my consult last week and started havin fun wit the surgeon asking him cud he give her a face lift and boob lift I honestly can't believe how gud she's been and such a change from way she used to but wen she saw how upset I was wit my fried eggs she really understood so u wud b surprised how parents take things! My dad unfortunately passed away so I didn't hav to tell him but if he was alive I'd b worried bout that cos I can't imagine he wud like it ?best of luck wit telling them ull feel much better wen u do trust me x

Good luck hun, let us know how you get on! x

How did you get on blue? x

thank you so much to all you ladies!!

so i ended up telling my mum by herself, not both parents together.

i started by saying, knowing you i think you're not much going to like this, and explained as she probably knew i'd never been happy with my size, and i'd decided to finally do something about it.

she was shocked to begin with and said all the usual about risks, doing something irreversible to my body etc etc, and did i understand that.
i kept talking about the very maneagble risks etc, my surgeon's qualifications and all the rest of it.

she did say she doubted i would be happier with them, but it was kind of okay until she asked about size. i had stressed i wanted it to be bery in proportion to my body and natural looking, but then i mentioned a C cup, and she lost it a bit and said i was crazy and that it would suit me as i had such a slight build. i did keep saying to her not to get that hung up about cup sizes because that wasn't how it worked, so she said the smaller the better and that going up one cup size would be enough as the risks are less.
i did keep saying i had no interest in going to big so she kind of calmed down, especially when she realised i wasnt going to change my mind, and i said i would rather have her support than not, but i'd do it anyway.

she still said maybe you'll change your mind if its not till june, but i said hopefully i can book next week, so that was basically that.

so not sure about how to approach the dad thing.. might let my mum get used to the idea first and then discuss with her.

soo sorry to ramble on ladies, and thanks for reading x

do you feel better now you've told her hun? xx

yes i do, but feel like she will look at them critically when i get the
and if there are any conplications she'll probably be a bit told you so.. and she freaked again when i said they don't last for life.. but still, i had to tell her and thats done now! thankfully!
the dad thing remains, he will need to know at some point, bit thats another bridge to cross some other time x

Maybe you could suggest your mum speaks to your dad about your surgery hun? Then if he wants to discuss it with you he can, if not it can be left alone... It can be an awkward thing discussing boobs with dads and for many its not something either really want to go lol.

Although I told you earlier in your thread that I told my parents I was having a BA, they're non the wiser to the complications I've had since because like you say of your parents I KNOW I'd have had the same from my own. The fact they knew I'd had my boobs augmented was enough information I felt and still feel they needed to know because I 'wanted' to tell them about my BA. In some strange way I did feel kind of obligated to tell them, even though as a grown woman I shouldn't have felt that at all. I wish this forum was around then lol, I'd have probably never told them at all. So when I had complications I decided this really was my business and neither I nor my parents would gain anything from my telling them about it and the "I told you so's" which were a dead cert had I told them were something I could totally do without so have chosen since not to tell them anything else...so hopefully you have no need to think about complications hun, but if you did, don't feel if you don't want to that it would be something they would 'need' to know and put yourself through that.

I'm glad the hard part is over for you babe. Xxx

Hey blue, I bet that wasn't as bad as u expected and that it's a weight off ur shoulders xx I'm sure ur mum will come round to the idea and might even help you break it to ur dad... That's how it usually works right?? Xx

Seemed like you went about it a good way and said all the right things as not to alarm her and make her worry unnecessarily. Its understandable for parents to worry obviously especially when it comes to plastic surgery as everyone you mention it to seems to think that you'll end up like Michael Jackson and all the other bad surgery celebs out there. Its up there with getting a tattoo and something pierced and you were brave to tell her. If shes anything like my mother, she'll tell your dad for you ;P
Hope all goes well in your journey. x

thanks to all you lovely lovely ladies for your support on this!

she 'kind of' took it in stride, for her terms at least, until we started talking about sizes, but in the end i get what she was trying to tell me which were just words of caution to not go too big for my frame. i assured her i was thinking along those exact same lines and that this was my biggest concern.

so if anyone else is about tell their parents, all i can say from this side of it is don't mention specific cup sizes as these mean something different in everyone's mind!! ;)

will have to see about my dad, don't really think its fair that my mum should have to tell him, but may discuss it with her in a couple of weeks..