Getting in a state - Parents

Hi Girls
I have read some of the threads on here about when we choose to tell our parents about having a BA.
I am not that close to my parents and have had some rough times with my mum over the years and I do get on better with my dad. I am very fearing of my dad and I have always tried to do the right thing by both of them.
One of the reasons I am now looking into the BA is because I have decided to stop being so bothered about trying to please everyone and start pleasing myself!
I am so so worried what my dad is going to say and more worried that he is going to be disappointed in me and just think why would she do that and what are people going to think when they find out? :-(

I got upset about this last night and I know it is affecting my feelings about the BA, I am excited but when I think about my dad it affects my positive feelings.

I am also worried that my 2 good friends are going to judge me about it, they are my good friends but I know how they think about girls that have BA's.

I am so sorry to be so depressing and down! I have told my OH about it and he is becoming more supportive. I have only told one of my other friends about it and he thinks its great because he is a boy!!!
Lots of love
Gail
xx

I cant really help as such as my mum was fine with it but i dint bother tellling my dad. I still live at home etc, hes so un-observant he'd never know, and he still hasnt.

I dont know what size your planning on going but if its not a drastic change do you feel the need to actually tell them. If your not 100% then dont tell them yet. Maybe consider it after you get ur boobs...hmm I dono its a toughy

xx

Hey lovely,

I can completely understand how you're feeling. My parents have always rubbished my ideas about having a BA, so I left it until I booked my surgery before I told them, and I was so scared of what they'd say! Anyway, I told my mum first and I thought she'd be upset/annoyed. Anyway after I told her I was being serious and this wasn't a joke she said she would have loved to have gotten a BA my age. If she'd have had the money she would have done it!

As for friends, most weren't really that bothered! A few thought I was mad, and tried to put me off but they weren't going to stop me from doing what I wanted to do! I did have to endure rumours etc but they soon petered out. One woman (who I only see maybe once or twice a year and who I DEF did not tell about my BA) told the world and her mum about my BA, for ages I had people I didn't even know trying to check out my boobs to see if they were real, but you get used to it. Like my mum said, most would love the chance to be able to get a flatter tum, bigger boobs, straighter nose.

You'll be fine hun, do this for yourself and not for anyone else, it's your happiness and your life!

xxxxxxx

HI Gail

If its any consolation I never told my parents, just the thought of telling them embaresses me immensely and I told nobody else with exception of my oh (we discussed it together), and my one best friend of over 30 yrs..... I would be horrified if my other friends knew..

and as yet over 3 months on no one has noticed a thing.. pre ba I wore major scaffolding/gel/air padding/push ups etc etc., and now I just wear normal soft bras or the one in my avatar and no body had said a thing!,, even bra less no one has noticed!

ok, if they knew what i looked like naked pre ba and saw me naked now then they would def twig!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxx

Hiya chick, I know exactly how you feel!

I had my first baby 5 months ago and since then my boobs have been awful. I used to have an ok pair but after I had my baby they were awful so thats why I decided to have a BA. I knew that they would not agree but after many nights of lying wide awake thinking about it, the next time I saw my parents I told them what I was doing.

To my suprise they were actually very supportive. They obviously didnt want me to go through the surgery but they stood by me. It is something I felt so strongly about and they knew that.

As for your friends, its your choice what you do with your body and its their problem if they dont like it. Some of my friends were off with my when I told them but to be honest, it really doesnt bother me.

They will probably only be jealous becasue you will have lovely boobies and they wont!!

xxxx

Awww Gail, I'm sure they come around.

I'm soooo lucky and very fortunate as my folks are soooo supportive and we're a very open family.

Frig, it was my dad that saved up my deposit money for the surgery and he's been with me to my consultations AND is coming with me to my surgery.

My mam is great too, but she's no sense of direction, even with a sat nav, hence me da coming with me lol.

Good for you though with regards to doing it for yourself... People perceive being 'selfish' a bad thing, but think about it; to be selfish is to think of yourself and put yourself first, before others - how is that a bad thing, after all we're all told before anyone else can love us that we need to love ourselves; therefore we need to put ourselves first to achieve this...

....Oh ohhhh danger of an 'Etta tangent' here, so will zip it lol.. Hope you get the general gist of what I was trying to say lol.

You go girl!

hia babe i was 21 when i first had my ba and was very worried about telling my parents, i finally told them about two weeks before op and they were very shocked my father even commented saying "whats next sleazy mags" needless to say he didnt really mean it and was just shocked i explained that it was effecting my relationship as i coudnt take my t shirt off when going to bed with my partner, which was a bit of an egsagaration but it was the only way that the would begin to understand, then they wanted to be assured that i looked into it properly etc, they did come round they actually said they didnt agree with it but if it makes me happy thats all that mattered, after ba i was a bit embarassed seeing my dad as i was now sporting bigger boobs and i felt he was a bit uncomfortable around me, but 7 yrs later (4 weeks ago) i had an uplift with replacement of implants and they were fine all they hear from my now is boobs, boobs, boobs x x x x they will come round if you explain your reasons and ask for theire support, they want you to be happy as they are your parents

Hi, I was in the same situation (one I don't envy), and I was going to leave it and not bother with BA because it was making me ill just thinking about telling parents, but it got me so down and depressed the thought of not having my BA my OH told me I couldn't go on like this and to tell them so I could book BA as that is what I really wanted to do, but for me personally I didn't want to go ahead with it without telling my mum and dad. So I decided if I wanted my BA bad enough I would need to tell them, as I knew they would help with kids and I see them nearly everyday so couldn't hide it, but most importantly whether they approved or not it put mind at rest knowing I had told them and didn't need to hide it and worry about them finding out. As for friends I'm not telling any, I only told people I can trust and that was my mum,dad,brother and sis-inlaw. I know it's a really tough decision but only one you can make.

lis
xx

Thanks for all your lovely support and kind words means a lot
xxx

if I hadn't needed my parents help looking after my son while I recovered I wouldn't have told them either. My mum told my dad who has never mentioned it to me. My mum never really said much about it but obviously discussed it with her best friend who when she saw me said that she didn't know why I was bothering because in 15 years I'd get the menopause and they'd grow then anyway?! WTF stupid unhelpful comment was that!

It is really really hard but you have to remember that it is a totally personal choice and that you and no-one else is going through this. Their support would be great but it ifs not going to happen then maybe its better to stick with your boyfriend.

The way that I look at it is, that it takes a huge amount of guts and money to have a BA. You allone will go through the opperation and healing. My point is that we get one crack at life.

Telling patents is hard, even as an adult. I considered a BA nealry 10 years ago but got a bad reaction from EVERYONE!!! I was told i was stupid and vain and selfish. Time went by and my feelings about it didn't change. I waited till the time was right for me and i am now ready to get it done. With mine, and my friends i just confidently told them what i wanted done and that I have thought long and hard about it. Yes there will always be other things that you could spend the money on, but i don't think it is selfish to have this done. Some of my friends assumed that for me to have the op - I must be desperatly unhappy and lack confidence, I am neither I just want big boobs whilst i am young enough to enjoy them is the honest answer.

Don't let this marr your exprience. You are all booked up and have obviously thought long and hard about it. If your parents don't approve and feel dissapointed you will always have the help and support of the girls on here. In my oppionion that is priceless.

One more rant, if you get any snotty or catty remarks once you have had your op and people comment on your new additions, i reacon you will feel confident enough to turn around and say SO BLOODY WHAT?? they look ace!!

Hope you feel better about it all soon, J x

I'm having my uplift with ba on 14th December and have only told hubby and one close friend.
My hubby is obviously very supportive , my friend wishes me well but doesn't think I need to have it done. I couldn't possibly tell my parents I think they would be horrified that I'm doing this at my age (45)....so what they don't know about can't harm them. I have three children and I'm hoping I can bluff my way through the operation with them, I've told my youngest two children(15) that I'm having a 'womany operation' that way they won't ask questions and my eldest is away at uni...so by the time he gets home for xmas I hope I'll not feel too bad. I know it would probably be better to just come clean and tell them, but I just don't know what reaction I would get and hate to upset them.

At the end of the day Gail only you can make the decision...you have to do whats best for you. I hope it all works out for you.

xxx

I was in the same sort of situation my dad thought it was a stupid idea and my mum would get upset everytime I mentioned it. In the end though I did booked it I went to London highgate all by myself. Once they could see how serious I was they accepted it. I'm sure they will come round hun and if they dont remember you are wanting this for you and no-one else. xx

Hi, i can totally understand your fears. I cancelled my first appointment for my BA because i hadn'y told my parents and that bothered me, yet at the same time i was pettrified of telling them, because i thought my dad would hit the roof.

However, when i re booked a couple of months later, i told my mum and she was fine about it, said i was an adult and its totally up to me. She told my dad and to this day he hasn't said a nasty word about it.

To be perfectly honest, if you didn't want to tell them, i think you would get away with it,- especially if you don't see them too often.

There are some tops i wear and you would not be able to tell whether i have had a ba or not (polo neck t'shirts which i have to wear to work). Obviously there are other tops i can wear and yes you would know that my boobs are a lot bigger than they used to be.

Best advise i can give you, is to really think about YOU. Who are you doing this BA for? If the answer is you, then you are making the right decision. Anyone that really loves and cares for you will want you to be happy.

Good luck in your decision to tell your parents, remember, I think you can get away without telling people.

Hi Gail,

My mum's views on BAs weren't favourable and I think she actually called me 'sad' for contemplating it in the past......BUT now I have had my BA she agrees that they look good . Im more in proportion, curvier and they've given me a better shape for my height etc etc.

I called my mum the DAY BEFORE my op as I felt I needed to let her know I was going into hospital it seemed the 'right' thing to do and it was. She was fine, not at all surprised and was there supporting me with my hubbie post-op too. My dad didn't make comment - he always stays the quiet one, bless him.

My sister was fab and said I should of had them done years ago and my best friend too. I didn't tell other close friends as I felt it was too private and again didn't want peoples opinions on BAs. A couple of friends have noticed but Ive denied it and put my larger boobies down to discovery of gel bras

Good luck with your BA....it is your body and your decision to have them done. You should be excited and looking forward to your op and I can understand you not wanting your parents to dampen your spirits.....what ever you decide to do - to tell or not to tell - GOOD LUCK!!!!! xxxxxxxxx

Thanks everyone :-) you are all lovely :-)
xxx I will post tomorrow as have my consultation with mybreast tomorrow, am excited and nervous :-)

Good luck on your consult tomorrow. This is such a personal journey for all of us, its totally up to you who you tell. I didnt tell my mum ... she hasnt noticed and probably wouldnt be too interested even if I had of told her anyway - but thats the relationship we have. However if I wanted and needed her support and acceptance it wouldve been more of an issue. I guess what Im trying to say is 'do you need to tell them?' if so why? Giving that thought will give you the answer. Im sure if you explain your reasons they will understand and will give the support you want then.

xx

Hey Gail - hope your consultation goes well today - exciting isn't it! xxx

Thanks girls! I will post a separate thread on the consultation
Gail
xx

Hi Hunny,

I think we have all been there with the dread of telling our parents, its only natural I suppose. I put my BA off for almost 8 years cos I was too embarrased to tell anyone I wanted it doing (I was 18 at the time and knew I would get the usual 'oh your body hasnt stropped growing etc' - but i knoew it wasnt gonna change enough for me to be happy). After having my baby 7 months ago, I loved me pregnancy boobs, they went to a D and I was happy, but then after the baby, my little B's turned into saggy little B's lol! So I went for it and though sod it and sod anyone who doesnt support me, I have got to be happy for the rest of my life. and I am! I Love Them!!

Just go for it, you may be pleasently surprised xx