how did you tell your parents?

Hiya, I'm having a major wobble about having my BA. Big hurdle for me to get over at the moment, is how to tell my parents. I feel very worried about telling them, I would love their support,- I think i will get that off my mum but I'm not sure about my dad. I have thought of not telling them, but its going to be pretty obvious that i've had surgery, i feel.

help!!!

I'm planning to do it over the phone, because they live 40 miles away, but do you think face to face would be better?

any advise would be welcome
thanks

Hey hun! I was dreading telling my parents but they have been brillant! I told them over the phone to start with as i thought it wouldn't be as embarrassing but they've been so supportive, you're defo best to tell them. My dad was a bit embarrassed to start with but he's got used to the idea, especially since my mum told him how much it was getting me down and how much it would improve my confidence.
Go for it girl, you'll need all the help and support you can get! :) xx

Hiya hun, i told my mum over the phone as sh lives 2 hours away. I just said " i have news, im having a boob job", she thought i was joking but when i burst into tears and told hr how much it meant to me she was fine, a little surprised i think but she knew i was very unhappy with them after my weightloss. Im sure your parent will be fine too and wether you tell hem face to face or not i guess depends on what kind of relationship you have with them. I would have been fine telling my mum to her face but i would have been embarrased telling my dad! x

I was totally dreading it too - but they were both absolutely fantastic!

I told them separately (they're divorced)....I just blurted it out and I was amazed at how understanding they were. My mum cried as she was so upset that she didn't know how depressed I was about my body, and I think my dad was just relieved that I wasn't pregnant or something!!

I know it's scary - I had a dry mouth and could feel my heart in my throat, but honestly, it wa such a relief to tell them and have their approval. Make sure you explain your reasons why and I'm sure they'll do their best to understand, even if they need a little time to get their heads around it.

Maybe sound your mum out before telling your dad?

Good luck!

C x

Hey, I totally understand that you dread telling your parents, in fact one of the reasons why I never got round to doing it before is because every time I tried to tell my parents that I wanted it done, their reaction would always be of contempt, they would start arguing violently and make me feel ike an idiot, saying that I was vain, that if I wanted to waste money I should give it to charity, and basically they acted totally deaf how I was feeling about myself. Now, I know that I am a grown person and I should have done as I pleased, but I ended up convincing myself that they were right and that I was just being vain, even if something deep down told me that it was not the case. Fast forward a few years, this time I decided to do it and I also decided that it was MY decision and no one else's. So I knew that whatever their reaction, I would go ahead with it and that made me feel confident to face whatever they would say. So at Christmas I told my mum that this is what I was going to do in the new year and that before kicking off she should listen for once. And you know what? She saw me so determined tha she did listen, and ended up understanding my reasons completely and even agreeing with me that if i felt so bad about myself, then I should definitely do it - her only condition being that she wanted to come over and take care of me when it happened! I still wasn't sure about telling my dad as he is much more judgmental than my mum, so I thought that I could do without the hassle (he is so distracted about anything in the physical world that he probably wouldn't have noticed, or would have thought that I'd put on weight). I told my mum to keep it to herself for the time being but of course she went and told him!! She said that at first he got angry and got all phylosophical saing that you shouldn't mess with nature and learn to be happy with what you have and that I was being stupid and she was even more stupid for supporting it. Then my mum calmed him down and explained the whole thing to him from my point of view and how i was feeling. She says that evening he didn't say anything anymore and just went to bed grumpy, then he got up the next morning and said he'd rather I didn't have it as he was worried about the surgery and didn't think it is reasonable that people put themselves through this for cosmetic reasons, but if it's so important then he would support it as well even if he doesn't agree. And he went and transferred money to my account to help me pay for it! So he basically paid for one boob lolll! He is also now coming with my mum to visit when I have it done!

What I want to say is that, evenif it is embarrassing/traumatic telling your parents, they normally surprise you when they know something is important to you because ultimately they want you to be happy! believe me, my parents were always totally anti-cosmetic surgery but once they understood me they have been supportive even if they still don't like the thought of it much... if it's important for youthat you tell your parents in advance, then do it, I am sure they will react better than you think.

I didnt tell my dad, with my mum i kept dropping hints then i just blurted it out one day, it was the best way knowing my mother lol x

i was also dreading telling my parents but it turned out to be the best thing next to the actual surgery itself they were sooooo supportive they sat down with me and asked all the questions they could think of and when they were satisfied with all my answers and why i was doing it they both just said go for it if it will make you happy and gave me a hug,they never relised how unhappy i was before.i really thought my dad would hit the roof but he couldnt of been anymore supportive then what he was.

you should to tell them face to face hun god forbid something goes wrong.

its up to you at the end of the day but even if they dont agree its still your decision hun.

good luck

hollyxXx

I didnt have to tell my mum as such as i had been going on about how much i hated my boobs & my nose since i was around 15, so she knew i wanted it done & supported me through my consults etc & i got it done age 20. Im 21 now. My dad didnt know much about how i hated my nose & boobs, i just told him im having my boobs and nose done and that was that. He was fine. Good luck telling yours x

This was one of the things I feared the very most... telling my parents **gulp**. I'm sure I've already posted about this... but here's a quick recap.
I really, really dreaded telling them, as even though I'm a fully grown woman with children of my own, my parents still have the capacity to make me feel like a child myself.

Initially I quite honestly wasn't going to tell them. My main problem was that they recently have moved house and now live at the end of my road... about 5 minutes away! So I was pretty sure that I'd be subjected to 20 questions about why my car was in the drive and why wasn't I at work?

Four days before I was due to have my BA I had to take my Dad to the hospital to have a colonoscopy. We were chatting in the car about how life is short etc. etc and it should be lived to the full etc etc. and while I was waiting at the hospital for him (about 3 hours!) I was making myself feel increasingly sick with the knowledge that I was keeping something so major from them. As we were walking back to the car (my Dad was still quite woozie at this point) I just decided to bite the bullet and told him! I said that I knew he probably wouldn't approve, but this is what I was doing and how unhappy I'd been, but that I knew I was making the right decision and had put an awful lot of thought into it. He was shocked, but really surprised me by saying that I had to do what I felt was the right thing to do. He said he wouldn't keep the news from my Mum, but that he wouldn't say anything until I had told her myself. It took me another 2 days to pluck up the courage to tell her. To be honest, I think they both do think I'm a bit mad, but they have been really supportive and I think it may have made us bit closer.

I felt such great relief at having told them and am pleased that I am not carrying around a great big secret... as well as my new great big knockers!

i just blurted it out lol as i have been going on about it to them for 10 years sooo they new one day i would go through with it.
hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

many thanks ladies for all your replies. Today i have sat for i don't know how long holding the phone trying to sum up enough courage to call, but i haven't succeeded. I've decided i'm not going to tell them. thing is my mum has been quite ill over the last few years and really doesn't need anything that will stress her. my dad has never been of the undertanding type, and i don't think he will be on my side. So i think i will go and have it done and then (depends how big i look after) either i will say its a new padded bra with fillets!!! or i will then own up, which i think will cause less stress, because they will be able to see that i am ok and there is no going back.

been a very stressful day,- my hubby has been great and has told me all his feelings,- he will back me either way, just wants me to be happy, but he has said that he feels i should go ahead and do it for me, and not to worry about anyone else's opinions.

So in 5 weeks time exactly, i will be hospital with hopefully a comfortable night ahead of me and two new additions in front of me

many thanks again x

Hun it is a very personal choice and if you feel better not telling them for now, then it's totally understandable. you have to go through this in the way that stresses you the least as it is already a big stressful step by itself!!

good luck xxx

Hey hunni

I chose not to tell my parents. My dad had always been very openly against plastic surgery, and when I mentioned that I was thinking about having it done to my mum, she told me I was stupid.

My mum found out on day 2 after my BA, as it was Father's Day and I popped round totally doped up and in pain and feeling pretty ill. I told them my back was playing up (it does from time to time) and the painkillers had knocked me for six.

When it was time to go, my mum totally surprised me by saying "I hope it's worth it". Followed by "You're a brave girl". I was shocked that she knew, but she's been really great since, saying that she may have gone through with it herself if today's technologies had been available when she was younger.

I guess what I'm trying to say (in a very long-winded way) is that your parents may surprise you with their attitude.

Good Luck hunni, whatever you decide.

Maria
xx

Good for you doing what feels right.

I put off telling my dad and quite honestly thought I wouldn't tell him, and would just do it, but one day (about 3 weeks before I was due to have my ba) I just felt ready, plucked up the courage and blurted it out. So you may get to that stage too - perhaps you're just not quite ready. I think it just all of a sudden became VERY real and I felt that I couldn't keep it from the people I loved anymore

Good luck with whatever you decide...

thanks everyone

I havn't told my parents and i'm def not going to!

My mom would not understand, my dad would but he would keep making jokes about it, which would be way to much for me to handle!!

At first i thought i would prob tell her after i have had it done, but after thinking about it i know it would be the wrong thing to do. My sister knows and she has decided to take the parenting role with me!!!! Even tho i am 30! but i thought that was very sweet of her. Both my husband and my sister also think it would be wrong to tell her.

At the end of the day i know that no matter how old we are our parents opinion will always be the one that we really take notice of, BUT they can be wrong at times. So if you think that telling them is stressing you out to much, and having an effect on how you should be feeling about the op ie all exited. Then i think you are right to not tell them. Now can i suggest you forget all about the dilema, you have made your decision, now go and enjoy yourself!!! Your Getting a boob job!!! How exiting!!!!!!

My mum and dad knew i have always wanted it done, and when it came to the time that i could afford to do it, they were very happy for me, mu mum even came with me on the surgery day. I am very lucky with my parents though. They are more best friends to me then parents.

When you think the time is right to tell them hun, you will know. You dont have to rush into it xx

I have told my mother, she knew I have been thinking about it for a while. And she actually took a loan for me cause she could get better interest!!
She had aboobjob 15-20 yrs ago, so she couldn't exactlu have any opinions. It's nice to be able to speak to her about it, ask her how she felt and all. Because she was small as well she completely understands.

My father is a completely different story....(they are divorced). He is kinda tight (loaded but tight) and he would never understand how I could spend that kind of money on somethinhg so superficial. His attitude is kind of : If you are healthy and have a roof over your head and food to eat, you should be happy. he is not a bad guy, he is not just very....in lack of a better word *sensitive*. I am Not gonna tell him. He will probably notice next time I see him, but I doubt he will say anything and I am not gonna bring it up!
We live in different countries, so it will be a while before I see him (and my mom, she is still in Sweden as well).

I would say that you have no obligation to tell anyone, you are a grown up and it is actually noones business what you do with yourr body, If you want to tell-then tell, If you don't want to-then don't. Just enjoy your boobs and don't let anyone rain on your parade!!!

Hugs!

thanks tinyme, your parents attitudes sound similar to my parents. i know i would be able to talk to my mum, but because she had a stroke a few years ago, i really don't want to put her under any additional strain and if i askd her not to tell my dad, that would put her in a difficult position. one of my sisters knows all about it, she's fab, but unfortunately we live 2 hours apart.

i think i'm going to keep quiet. my in laws know about it, they live close by, so i'm hoping i might get some help with my children. i'. also hoping my mother in law hasn't told all and everyone, because she does like to gossip!! if she has, then theres nothing i can do about it.

feeling a lot more positive today x

i just told my mum she was like go as big as u can lol ur paying all that money shes a busty dd and i have to say we look the same size now so im glad im listened to her as i always wanted big boobies like like i didnt tell my dad she did and he was cool about it even though they are both very conservative their pretty cool about my decisions