Nervous about challenging my PS for a re-op

Hi Sugarplum

I've only just logged on and read through your posts but wanted to chime in with some support. 2nd April is a week on Monday - afterwards you'll be feeling hopeful, have a plan and with a weight off your mind.

I was thinking about how it might feel to explain your feelings about loss of intimacy in front of your husband? (You're taking him with you right?) Of course you know best but I'm wondering if that might derail the appointment? If I was suffering in the same way, I imagine that I would start bawling at that point which might let the ps off the hook as he and my OH look at the floor and pass tissues. Forewarned is forearmed and the more together you are, the higher your chances of getting what you want and deserve!

Also, I totally agree about not being rushed. Take a hard copy of all your correspondence and refer to it. Take a notepad with all your questions on it, and write down all the answers, at your own pace.

And remember that you are not being confrontational in asking for delivery of what you have already paid for. Be calmly assertive without being aggressive and be graciously accepting rather than grateful when he offers to put it right.

Love and luck for 2nd hun.

x

Hi sugarplum, have pm'd you back. xxx

Sue- thanks for the advice hun , my appointment is the tue so only 11 more sleeps to go. I'll be a bag of nerves whatever, whether we discuss the intimacy problems or not, that's why it felt good to put it into an email so at least the first emabarrassing step was done, I don't think I'll go into to much detail about that as surely the PS won't want to hear too much! If I can manage it, I'll just go over the basics regarding that, that I can't bear be to be touched, that I don't feel attractive sexually, and that my dreadful low self esteem is having a detrimental impact on our relationship.

Well it's finally come around, D day tomorrow, cacking myself at the moment, I had been doing really well building my self confidence, but the last 2 days have eradicated that, had a bad couple of days, so now I don't feel as strong (just generally as a person dealing with anything at the moment) Hubby will be with me so he'll be strong for me, I'll report back here how I get on tomorrow.

You'll be great, chin up and drag that confidence back up sweet. Will be thinking about you.

Remember before you go into your appt how much we are all behind you. You've good reason to ask for PS to re-op. You might be worrying unecessarily - he might well surprise you and agree with you straight away and so you wont have to put any pressure on.

Me too for the appt tomorrow. Am sure we'll both be ok.



xxx

Good luck both of you

Kat4, I didn't realise you were unhappy with results?!

xx

Firstly sweetie, don't be nervous, this is business for your surgeon and you should treat your surgery as such, you paid a heck of a lot of money for an agreed result and you didn't get it.

When you return, take all notes you have of your concerns and the pics you've taken will also help your case too.

You'll need the notes as sometimes surgeons try to talk over you and you lose where you aare in trying to put your case forward. A friend with you for support helps too, they might also contribute parts you may miss too.

This is the most important - Insure EVERYTHING you say is written in your notes, your notes are what the clinic manger will refer to should you need to press your case further to get your re-op. Don't be afraid to ask your surgeon to recite what they've said in your notes back to you. What is said in there could make the difference between a free re-op or not, it really is that important.

Having had problems getting a re-op myself in the past, I know some clinics will do all they can to wriggle out of a free re-op and get you to pay the full balance if you're a push over or push for part payment preying on your desperation, if this happens REFUSE, it honestly doesn't pay to be shy about complaining in this 'business' sweetie, so you state your case and make it very clear what it is you're wanting from a re-op.

I hope it goes well hun and we're here if you need us. xx

Good luck x

Any news SugarP?? xx

Thanks everyone, had a really hectic day today.

The appointment went quite well, short story is yes I will get a re-op covered by my aftercare , but I still need to wait till I'm a year post op

My PS listened to all my concerns and talked me through things in a lot more detail than previously and I now understand certain things better, and what was done and why. He did say he said things at the initial consult, which I distinctly remember he didn't but I wasn't about to get into a he said she said, the main thing is a re-op will happen in the future.

My left breast is unlikely to have CC, which is good but it does mean if I still have the pain at a year post-op I have to go down in size because the reason for the pain is pressure on the nerves, he put the max size implant that he could and now there's no room for anything else the nerves are getting squished, he said hopefully it will go away given time and I now have to massage that breast.

He did say alot, that a really good result was achieved, he would be happy to advertise my pictures on the website as a tuberous breast correction and that most people would be over the moon with my result, however he understood I wasn't and I explained to him I was expecting more. So options are a nipple lift or a full uplift, I told him anchor scars weren't a concern if a really good breast shape was achieved, as I'd seen anchor lift scars and felt I could live with them.

I was dissappointed to find out I can't go any bigger because I just don't have the breast tissue to cover the implant and I would develop rippling, which after experiencing double bubble I don't want any more complications, so long as he can improve the shape of what I've got that will be ok. So I'm left in a bit of a quandry because he agreed the right breast could do with filling out more, but that would increase the assymmetry again being that the left can't be increased because of the pain and it's at it's max. That leaves me with just having the nipple lift and living with the slightly less full breast, or having the full uplift and I assume having that same implant size in both?? which would mean having both 335cc (I have 375cc in my right breast) I'm worried if I just go for the nipple lift I might still not be happy but obviously don't want a full uplift if I really don't need to, I just want what will give me the best shape arrgg I'm crap at decision making!

I found out he did score the breast to release the tissue and he said this needs to be left for a year to stretch and accomodate the implant to improve the tuberous shape. He also told me my rib cage is assymmetrical and sticks out further on the left which therefore makes my left breast project more, and that I am a very difficult case, jeez don't I know it, I hate having an awkward condition, and it isn't the only one, I have multiple complex health problems, my family call me "unique" there are other words I'd use

As for the lipo he is happy to remove more to even them out but that definately needs to be left till a year post as there is still scar tissue healing. I fully understand that and said I'm happy to wait for my legs to be corrected but he said, as I knew he would, they can't do separate ops, boobs and lipo have to be done at the same time. I am dissappointed that I'm still suffering with this pain but I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, not as soon as I'd hoped but it is there. I think he thought I was quite hard to please (which I am) and my husband knows that better than anyone and helped to bring me back to reality as it were, that there has been a huge improvement and not to lose sight of that, seeing my pre-op pictures almost made me want to cry they were hideous, and my hubby even said he didn't realise quite how bad they were.

So after my appointment I decided to go to the Debenhams bra sale and buy myself a nice bra that actually fits and is comfy so I can get rid of the granny bra I'm wearing, because I'm not going bigger or having my op anytime soon, I need to look after what I've got for now (which I had previously put off doing) tried on loads of bras, found some that I really liked but they didn't have the ones I really liked in stock in my size no probs I thought I'll just check online, but still no luck

Still really random with the sizing, I'm a 30 back yet one 30 I tried couldn't even do it up! yet another 30 was on the tightest hooks There was a really comfy tshirt bra that wasn't moulded or padded and fit me in a 32FF, yet another lovely balcony bra was still gaping a little in a 30FF! in the end I decided not to compromise and buy a bra that almost fit just because I loved it and hoped I'd find it in stock somewhere!

I have to make a appointment for end of June (roughly the 9 month mark) and that's when we'll discuss what op to go for and when.

So that's the end of the essay, I'd welcome peoples thought on my surgery options and once again thankyou for the amazing support, I could not have got through today and the agonising wait leading up to today without you girls

I've been following your thread, I'm sorry if I can't give you any good advice on the matter. But I just wanted to say I'm so happy to hear you will be getting your reop in a few months, that's very good news xxx

I agree, realy pleased they'll reop for you!

I don't want to give any advice on surgery choices as I don't understand them well enough! What I would say, if you're not sure what to go for, and your PS seemed to make a bit of a big deal out of everything, is to get a second opinion at a different clinic. Not to try to get the op elsewhere or with someone different. But just because they might explain things differently or the pros/cons of each option better.

Really pleased for you

xx

Happy to hear that they didn't quibble over the re-op and they're going to do it FOC - both the lip and the breasts.

Like the others I can't offer any advice, only support. I guess right now there's a lot to take in, so maybe some time to think about all of your options is a blessing (providing your breast isn't too sore - glad to hear its not CC).

I think there's definately something in what LuLu said. It may be worth paying for another consultation with a reconstructive surgeon or someone who has worked with tuberous breasts and see if they think you can get the results you want with what has been discussed.

Sorry, *lipo*

Hi sugarplum,

glad your appointment went well - it would be good if we could have recorded what they had said in the past wouldnt it!? Still at least he is doing the re-op in the future. Seems like an awful long wait but then because it was a complicated procedure then I guess there is more to heal first - like the scoring to help the tuberous prob.

The before pics are hard to see arnt they! Gawd I cant believe mine! Im so happy with my re-op results tho - I know you will be too

Its good that you said your PS was happy with the results and would have been happy to show his work as a good result following a BA with tuberous issues by putting his pics on the net.

Not sure what advice to give about your decisions regarding the re-op, size and lift decisions etc. Farking decisions eh! Gawd they are hard but you've got lots of time to decide. Is it possible that you could have a second opinion done? Think we might have talked about this before - its a bloody expensive thing to do isnt it? - could your PS be made to foot the bill for this?

Am glad he said he will look at the lip you had done again in the future too - its true what he said about not being able to fix that bit quicker (from all Ive read about that) cos the scar tissues need to break down more - waiting is hard tho!

The bra size thing is foxing me too - its mad how in Boux, Next, La Senza, Chantilly and certain Debenhams brands I am one size but in M&S (the supposidely god of underwear correct measurements!) I measure another. Sod them ... will have to spend wildly in Boux - which it has to be said have some amazingly LOVELY bras in Keep on looking sweet - you need that new underwear - to boost how you feel ... its a proper good idea. Do you have a Boux near you? They do online but its good to try on too - and they have such nice fitting rooms - with dim-able lighting haha

Glad your DH is being positive for you - even if its reminding you that they look so much better than before ... sometimes we need that pointing out to us when its hard to see.

How are you managing with the new hair do?

Kat x

luluthefirst wrote:Kat4, I didn't realise you were unhappy with results?!

xx

Nope ... not now luluthefirst - I had a re-op and am thrilled that its sorted my prob (had small pocket revision to lower lefty) - my appt on Tuesday was mainly as a post-op check up for another op I had (mini tt) .... thats why I was nervous like sugarplum - but Im also VERY happy with the results there - so happy I bought a ridiculous gold shiney bikini from Lipsy to celebrate its quite trollopy really but what they hell! Thanks for asking - nice of you

sugarplum .... and you thought yours was an essay!

MozElle83 wrote:Sorry, *lipo*

me too Mozelle! - cant spell/type ..... L I P O

SugarP xx Soo happy that you have been offered a reop xx I know you have to wait for a bit but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel as you say xx

I think I would definitely be tempted to go and see a second independent PS as others have suggested xx I know it's a pain and a bind but I think it will put your mind at rest one way or another xx I think if you are a difficult case as your PS has suggested, and he wasn't able to correct things the first time round that it is worth checking what he is suggesting be done second time round xx

There is nothing wrong with you gathering as much info as you can about what has happened and what is or what can be done to correct the problem xx

On the bra front, I'm going out later today bra shopping as none of my current bras fit properly.........am not looking forward to it as I know what a pain it can be xx

So glad your appointment went well and a re-op is on the cards. The time will fly by and before you know it you will be having the surgery and moving on. Hope your feeling better about it all xx

Thankyou everyone, having had a little time for it to sink in, I realise now how lucky I am that a re-op was agreed without having to fight tooth and nail it for it. At first all I could see that it was months away but now I'm just glad I have it agreed without too much hassle. I might send some pics to John P on here for another opinion, but when I think about it if I wait the decision might be taken out of my hands anyway- if the pain continues then I have to downsize my implant and then a full uplift will be necessary to recorrect the assymmetry again, if the pain goes away then there will still be both options, at the end of the day I just want what will give me the best shape, I don't want to take short cuts and hope for the best (which is what I'm worried about just a nipple lift)

Kay said "and he wasn't able to correct things the first time round that it is worth checking what he is suggesting be done second time round "

this is what he said he talked about at the initial consult (which he didn't otherwise things would have been different!) that with tuberous breasts it's often necessary to do more than one op to correct them, and that "we" compromised on just using an anatomical implant hoping to achieve a good result with one op (which he says he has). He said nothing about a full uplift, or that using the option of round implants with nipple lift was the better of the 2 options (he just gave me the options and let me decide) if he had I would have listened, as whilst money was an issue I wanted the best possible outcome.

Kay- how did the bra shopping go?

Butterfly- Thanks, I'm hoping I can get it done in August (which would be 11mths post op) as I want to be well on the way to recovery for my daughter starting primary school and be fully capable of doing the school run, which will take me about 3weeks because of the double op (the lipo is nasty) Fingers crossed he won't quibble over a month. So could only be a wait of 4mths and only 3mths till the re-op is finalised at the next consult.

Kat- Thanks hun, don't think I have a Boux locally but will check them out online. How did your appointment go? how's the TT?

As for the hair, don't even go there!! have a look at my post in health/beauty forum, that's caused me way too much stress (and money) didnt help my confidence facing my PS with YELLOW hair!

Hey hun, my re-op is in August which feels so soon I can't wait for them to be corrected. I am sure he will overlook one month xx

Hey Hun,

Wow, its been a long ordeal, I am so holding fingers and thumbs for you that your reop goes right and you finally get the results you deserve (then i know exactly what i should be doing as well lol)

Thank you for all your emails and I am so glad to have been in contact you, should I go with THG then I have a boobie buddie that has the same problem as me, but not as bad as mine, I think thats why I was offered the donut and implant as the option for me initially.

Keep us all posted on how everything goes hun!
Good luck with your reop huni xxx