Feeling really low :(

Hi girls,
I really need some support right now as I feel like everyone is against me getting my BA. I opened up a floodgate last night to my BF and told him how i really feel and why im getting this operation done, and he still just doesnt understand. At one point i thought he was giving me an ultimatum not to get it done otherwise he would leave me (after 5 years together!)

Everyone around me thinks im doing this because i worry what other people think of me or for attention. No-one (apart from you girls on here) understands why we desperately want this operation.

All i want is the support from my BF and to be waiting for me when i come out of theatre. Is that too much to ask?

Its less than 2 weeks away and i should be excited but I cant stop crying! :(

Awww hunni c'mere

I went through the very same babe, no-one but me wanted this op for me and try as they might my family tried every trick in the book to talk me out of it.

You have to do what's right for you babe, if you want this op and you think you'll benefit from it, then stand your ground hun, my husband was very against my decision to have 'elective' surgery as he put it, but once he knew I was not going back, although he was never happy about it, he did support me along with the rest of my family.

Nerves are probably starting to kick in for you now as well babe so maybe you're a little sensitive to what's being said right at this time too so bare that in mind sweetness.

You'll be OK hunni, rant away here if you need to, we'll all be here for you kazaa xx

thats just made me well up even more! but thankyou, it means alot to me! xx

Im sorry you're going through this. I was single when i got my BA and did it alone (my mum picked me up the next day). I know people didnt understand why i was getting it either but I knew and thats what mattered.
You are strong enough to do this and if your BF wont support you through it then i guess you will learn something about him and have to think about the relationship because he should support you no matter what he thinks. He's probably a bit threatened by it and thinks you'll leave him aftewards (heard this about men and BAs a thousand times).

Stay strong hun

Bless your heart, stay strong, it will be one of the best things you ever do xxxx

Awwww lovely big hug from me too

More often than not our families can become unsupportive or distant as they truely don't understand how important it is for us. You say you had a chat with your bf yesterday and he just doesn't understand, in which case I will say to you that as long as you are doing it for you and if it's what makes you happy, that's all that matters hun.

If you've tried to explain your reasons for wanting a BA but to no avail, then don't focus on what they are saying, this is a very special time for you hun and you should be enjoying the build up not spending time being upset.

I agree with Cookie, if it's what you want then stand your ground, once they see that you are going ahead regardless, they might come round, if they don't, at least you know you tried. Don't give up thou if it's what you really want.

We are all here for you hun for support

x x

I think hes a bit scared of unwanted attention afterwards but its not like im going to flash everyone i see! The media has tainted his judgement as well, as tv is full of women with mega boobs showing them off. You dont see the everyday women who get them done for the natural look and to help their own self confidence!

Dont get me wrong, i want to wear pretty bras and show off a bit of cleaverage, I just dont want to be put down everytime i try and make myself feel good!

That is such a shame . My family and friends talked me out of it 10 years ago, and here I am at the age of 32 and I am going for it!! You have to do what is right for you. People will come around in the end. I know it is easy to say but don't let it ruin the run up for you. Everyone on this site will give you more that enough support and help. Hope it works out for you xooxo

He may just need a little reassurance kazaa, explain to him how you feel and the reasons yuo've chosen to have this op (if you've already done that he may just need a little reminder)

Remember also that you're the woman he loves and in two weeks time he's handing you over to have surgery and just as we get the jitters, those that love us most also feel the same way babe, they're scared and don't know how to deal with it. xxx

Me and my OH spent hours on the net looking at 'before and after' pics when I was awaiting surgery (not on here, mostly american clinic sites). He realised quickly that this was not about vanity and that i wasn't going to end up looking like katie Price and be stared at. Also whilst we looked we were able to have a bit of a giggle and also he was able to ask quesitons whilst we looked. Try that babe xxx

aww hun, it is such a disappointmen when family and friends don't understand, I had the same with my sister and mum and it tears you apart. i was lucky that my OH supported me.

My sister and mum did come round to the idea once I had it done - perhaps you will find your BF will come round to it once you are recovering

We had a little chat earlier and I said im still going through with it so I think he knows i wont back down. Ive got the funds entering my bank tomorrow to pay for it, so once thats done theres no turning back!

I had a serious op a few years ago and he wasnt overly keen about that too (got a titanium pin drilled into my head for a hearing aid - i lost half my hearing when i was 20 from an ear infection!) So maybe hes just scared about the operation itself. Hes not good at talking whats on his mind!

I might just try the before and after photos, thanks zoeb! xx

Both my sister and mum want theirs done too, lol! My sister has had 2 kids though and shes a similar frame to me, so she was gutted when she lost her pregnant boobs!
Ive found my friends who are similar size to me have all said they secretly want a BA but too afriad to go ahead with it. The girls who are blessed with chests are a bit harsh to me which does hurt a bit, but i suppose its a bit harder for them to understand!

just remember your doing it for you i was lucky with support of my mum and sis i feel for u cause for me i would of been hurt if i didnt like i say its the best thing you can do and it will make u much happier so its for u no one esle xxxx

Hey, I hope things improve for you. Hopefully your boyf will realise now that you've had your chat and he's had a chance to mull things over why you've decided to go through with this. I'm sure he's just worried for you and he will absolutely love your new look!!! I'm very lucky in that my Boyf has been very supportive to me, I've got him involved in everything from researching the companies and surgeons to attening all of my appointments with me and even getting his advice when trying on the implants. Just like Zoeb, We have trawled through the Internet looking at before / after photos and we have even checked out photos of boobs once the implants have been removed to get a full picture of everything!! Maybe if you showed photos to your Boyf it may ease his concerns as he'll know not only why you want this op but what you'll be going through to achieve it all. Maybe then he'll truely understand as it's clearly not something you would go through on a whim.

Wishing you all the best and I really do hope you get the support you so deserve. Xxxxx

Sorry to hear this hun.

I was single so didnt have to worry about telling a partner, but my mum was dead against it and my dad wasnt thrilled either. Some of my friends couldnt and still dont understand why I wanted a ba but I knew it was important for me and no matter what they said I knew that they couldnt put me off having a ba. I think with some people they need time for it to sink in and come round to the idea. xx

Hi Kazaa,

Sorry you're not getting the support you deserve, I think other people just don't understand how cr*p it is to be flat chested!!

If you can't get him to understand now... stop trying. You'll only get yourself stressed out unnecessarily before your op. Just ask him to be there and hold your hand through it without voicing his opinion.

After when he sees the results and that you don't turn into a loose woman flashing her boobs falling out of clubs drunk he'll have to apologise for being like that.

Don't worry too much hun about other people, there's only so much you can say.

Hi hunni, just want to give you huge hugs!!! i had full support but my hubby was a bit weary about attention from men, he said i got enough of it before my boobies so it'll be worse after... men do look (when im not with hubby) but i just remind my darling husband how much i adore him and love him to bits... he knows he's silly but thats men for you.. i think you just need to make him understand that your feelsing for him won't change after the op :) best of luck sweetie, i feel for you xxxxx

Hi sweetie,i know you must be feeling terribly anxious,people just dont realise that we just want boobs,not want to be glamour models and showing them off to the world!Try to keep explaining to him how you justwish to feel like a real woman nd wear lovely flattering clothes and feel ofident in yourself.Try showing him pics of ovely natural augmentations letting him know this is how you'd lie to look.I bet he wont even be able to tell theyve had surgery.All the best x

aw sweetheart really feel for you as is difficult and emotional time leading up to BA as it is jusy keep talking babe im sure he will eventually understand that you are doing this for YOU and only you. He will understand when he sees the change in you afterwards and be glad you did it cos u will be sooo happy.

Good luck - this forum rocks - support amazing

much love
stay strong
x x

Hi kazaa just looking at this old post wondering how things are now??? you okay hunni?

hey,
yeah im much better thankyou!
Im 1 month post op now, and the boyfriend loves them! he came with me to the hospital, and stayed with me all afternoon post op and came back the next day to take me home. he looked after me during the 2 weeks i had off work and hes just been fantastic. All my friends are green with envy as well! you'd be surprised how many woman actually say 'I really want a boob job as well!' but haven't got the bottle to do it!

Its definitely the best decision i've made. Although I try not to stay on this forum too long as alot of the girls have got alot bigger boobies than me and I dont want boobie envy and start thinking mine are too small! my next big purchase is a house! :)

nice to hear that your doing ok kazaa



xx

Hi, felt so sad when i read your post but i'm sure everything will be just fine between you and your boyfriend.Both of you have got alot to think about and are probably very anxious.He obviously cares very much for you and just needs time to work out that he is being selfish by making you feel like this.It is your body and your decision.
And in time i'm sure he will love your new boobies as much as you.
Good Luck.xx