feeling extremely depressed

Hi girls,

Im feeling so upset/depressed/confsued

For those of you who dont know, i went through consultations and wanting a BA last year in June. After alot of stress and almost ending up so unhappy with worry of what problems i might end up with after a BA i backed out in September. I then started taking the pill as suggested by my doctor to increase my breast slightly - which somewhat worked and i felt abit happier. However, 6 months down the line it made me fat all over, it then stopped and now boobies are back to 32a.

So i started looking into BA again, and have consultation booked with same surgeon i saw last year next week. Now everyday im just thinking about this everyday, and just driving myself insane, my heads such a mess. One minute im excited thinking i will be happy once all done, but as soon as i read people having problems i get put off thinking im a healthy girl and why am i doing this to myself, and imagine i have problems after BA.

Also hiding this from family i live with makes it hard.

I just come home from work and want to go to bed as i cant think straight. Im so upset just crying as im a complete mess not knowing why im doing this. But i want this. im not even making sense now i know. just wanted to type this so i feel a bit better


How many girls on here have had problems after BA?

Just so worried.

xxxx

I didn't have a single problem after my BA (touch wood just in case) but if you do read the storys where they have had problems, they nearly all say they dont regret having the BA and have had the problems put right. I think we all have extreme nerves pre BA and the worries that something will go wrong, but there are also many girls who have had successful and problem free experiences. Dont put so much pressure n yourself, go to the consultation and make decisions then as to whether you wish to go ahead with the BA. It may just not be the right time for you yet.

You should go for lots of consultations with different surgeons, do lots of research on the internet and get recommendations. Take your time over this as it is a very big decision.

I waited 20 years for my ba, wondering if I was being silly as I was perfectly healthy and thought I'd be unlucky enough to end up with problems after surgery. I'm now almost 6wks post op and can't believe I waited 20yrs!

If your feeling depressed because of your flat chest then change it if you really want to. Its one of the best things I've ever done! Good luck. XX

Oh hun it is a very difficult decision to make. I backed out a couple of times and it took me 6yrs to finally decide to go ahead.

Unfortunately I have a minor problem that I wil have corrected via another op - even though i have to have another op I still absolutely do not regret my decision whatsoever. If I ever feel a bit low about things I just look at my pre BA pics and I know I did the right thing.

It is very rare for someone to regret surgery altogether - even the tiny percentage of unfortunate people who suffer complications.

However you need to be sure it is the right decision for you and if it doesn't feel right perhaps you are just not ready. It is perfectly normal to have worries and concerns but you need to be 100% sure about your decision.

xx

I can only echo what misf1 said babe - I'm one of the ladies who has been unlucky and had a complication but not for a single moment do I ever regret my decision to have my augmentation hunni, although I went through quite a lot, I'd still do it all again... But my decision was the right one for me, yours has to be right for you too hun and you have to feel 100% confident that this is what you want knowing that with any cosmetic surgery you don't get any guarantees.... remember there is no rush, don't put pressure on yourself hun, if you need to take some time away from all the boobie talk for a while to enable you to make your decision then do it hunni, if you need more information before making your decision then make an appointment for another consultation hun - But do what's right to make you happy hun and if you just need to talk some more here, then we're all here for you babe.

I spent years wanting boobs but wishing I had been blessed with natural ones. I had said 1000 times I want a boob job but never actually thought Id have the nerve to do it so would put it out my mind again.

Something happened to me this year and I thought you know what Im going to do it. I did lots of research and read all the things that could go wrong, and thought OK I can deal with any of that if that happens and decided there and then not to read any of that negative stuff again,but focus on the end result, and thats exactly what I did.

I phoned for a consultation, got an appointment 8 days later, went to see a surgeon, who is fantastic, went back a week later and then booked my BA for 4 weeks after that. Here I sit 5 weeks post BA in a beautiful lacey bra that is not padded up to the hilt, no chicken fillets, and very very happy.

The only thing I can say is that if the time is right you will know. There was nothing anybody could have said or done to make me not go ahead once I had decided. If they could have then I wouldn't really have been ready!!!

Sorry you are feeling down hon. I stressed so much about my BA.. Going into the ugly cry thinking about my kids and the risk I was taking.

The main thing is to do your research and find a excellent surgeon. Get his referrals and speak to past patients. Your are putting your life and boobs in his hands. Once you are fully confident in him it makes it easier.

You deserve to be happy! If doing this will make you happy and feel good about yourself, then I say go for it! Chin up! You will make the best decision!

I felt similar to you, I had boobs on the brain constantly all the time and my brain just wouldn't shut off, I couldn't sleep and I couldn't concentrate on anything else! I just didn't know what to do. I just kept thinking of how happy I would feel afterwards and if something went wrong then I would just have to deal with it at the time as all surgery carries certain risks. If it doesn't feel right for you yet then do some more research and see how you feel about it further down the line.

Hi babe

It took me 20 yrs to get it done and I'm now 3 weeks post op, I can honestly say that it's the BEST thing I've ever done, it's changed/is changing my life. My boobs are my pride and joy!!
I am paranoid constantly, like you, that something is going to go wrong and it's driving me mad, even if it did it would in no way impact the decision I made and I would never ever look back. If anything goes wrong I'll get it fixed.
Don't forget that the people you hear about having problems are just a tiny % of the people that have had it done.

My expereince was the same as sallyslaps above... and I waited 20 years too, like Dervla. Most of us reach a point when we are "ready". Wait til you are ready chick, it's so important. Have you thought about a chat with a counsellor about how you feel. Sometimes counselling is great to help you unpick your feelings about your body and help you undertsand what it is exactly that you are worried about... whether it's your body image, or complications, or...somehting else?? Just a thought.

sending you a big hug, hope you reach a decision.
xxx

My boobs have made me feel absolutely rubbish about myself for 7 years.
I felt like I wasn't good enough, and they made me feel really
insecure. It was only 2 months ago that I felt like I was financially
and emotionally in the right place to do something about it. At the
time, I thought this had a lot to do with being with my boyfriend and
being happy with our relationship. He finished with me 6 days before my
op! I was devastated - still am, but it made me realise that no
matter how rubbish everything else was, I still wanted to, and needed
to do it.

You seem really unhappy. I think you know that this will make a big
difference to your life. I don't think you should worry about the
problems that might happen. As
with anything else in life, you deal with it when it happens - if it
ever
does.

x

faye wrote: At the
time, I thought this had a lot to do with being with my boyfriend and
being happy with our relationship. He finished with me 6 days before my
op! I was devastated - still am, but it made me realise that no
matter how rubbish everything else was, I still wanted to, and needed
to do it.

Aw Faye, bless you Hope you OK, that must have been awful at that time xxx
When he sees you in a couple of months with your lovely new boobs he'll regret it !!!!

There's nothing else I can add since everyone said exactly what I thought. All I can give you is a big hug and please think positive. Make sure it's the right time for you to take this big step. xx

Sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. Like other ladies on here I have wanted BA for 20 years. I finally feel ready now myself but feel I have wasted so much time being unhappy with my boobs. The horror stories you see on tv documentaries are rare and the problems they highlight are likely down to poor quality implants or bad surgeons. You will know yourself when you're ready for this when you are my advice is to really do your research on Surgeons and Implants and choose a company which offers a comprehensive aftercare package. It's your body, take your time. I agree with Cookie about maybe taking some time out from all this boobie talk.
Hope you feel happier soon.

I read posts on a us forum and the complication bit of the forum has a few thousand ( three I seem to remember) posts. The ba bit has 30,000!! Now bear in mind that those figures on the ba side are generally only including a few post op girls, most don't post after their initial recovery and go off and live their boobylicious lives.

And the complication side of the forum will have girls who need a lot of advice and who post more, yet still there are only 300o posts.

This forum too has similar general BA and complication ratios.

Also there are two other types of lady - if I hadn't discovered this forum for this part of my journey and I was happy, then I would be extremely unlikely to look for fourm support post ba. If I hadn't found the fourm pre-BA and had complications BA, how much more likely would I be to google and find this forum for the help and support I needed? Much more so, so what I am saying is that the figures for comps are skewed due to our own human nature. If all the girls who had ba posted before and then all the girls who had complications post ba posted too, I reckon the figures would be much higher for the preba/general discussion and about the same for the complication side of things. eg 30,000 : 3000 now to in my adjusted theoy thinking 50,000 : 3000.

all of the above is a theory though I would guess it prob would play out quite accurately.

All that being said though, take your time, like the others hav said, when you know you know. Don't be down, life's too short.

big hugs to you xx

Just remember, as with all things in life those who are dissatisfied will shout the loudest, those with positive experiences will generally not report them as they are living life ( with whatever it is they have had done or bought).

thanks so much girls... im unhappy about being flat, and wearing heavily padded bras to look like a woman. i look like a 12year old when im at home with normal padded bras (not even non-padded!) and really wish i could have proper boobs and be able to wear clothes like a normal person! I was in a 7 year relationship, but never felt comfortable taking bra off infront of my ex. Ive now been single for 2 years, i cant imagine meeting someone and taking my top off as im soooo insecure about my boobs - but honestly this isnt even about guys. Its about me and wanting to wear normal pretty bras and feeling good about myself.

I know i want it, when i get close to it i start thinking hope im not ruining my life, and how it may affect me through pregnancies when i get to that stage. I get all sorts of silly thoughts that dont make sense, but i do think about it. I get scared at the thought of re-ops etc. i mean i understand 10-15years down the line i will need a re-op as im getting this done at 23. Which i really dont mind.

When i talk to you ladies and you share your experiences and say its the best thing ive ever done, im all for it and want to get BA ASAP. Like i want to be able to feel confident and happy with my body now, and i dont want to wait, then i will only regret why didnt i get it done sooner! lol - i know i sound insane.

Zoeb - i honestly do think i should maybe try counselling also, but i dont want someone to talk me out of it, and i assume they will just say be happy with what you have, which isnt something i want to hear, as i know i will never be happy with what i have. If i dont have a BA i will always just wish i had big boobs, which also drives me crazy!

Ive tried to move my consultation to tomorrow rather than next week. So ive made a list of questions. I have spoken to one of mr uppals patient whom i met on another forum, shes absolutely thrilled with her results and has had 3 other friends that have gone to him and are also happy. And she told me what the surgeons PA told me which was hes never had anyone come back with an infection. But how do i know that is completely 100% true? I will ask these questions tomorrow, he is a nice man so should be ok.

I think i need to stop going on forums too much as thats when i go crazy reading things! Its obviously really helpful as it makes aware of what all sorts of problems, but think i just get left with negatives in my head. I feel if i back out this time it wont happen for a very long time. But i want it now!!

Probably driving you girls crazy!

thanks so much for your replies. I will let you know how i get on at consultation tomorrow.

Lots of love girls - great to know i can come here and there are people who understand what im feeling.

Hey lovely,

Just a little note, be careful what you read on forums. This forum is heavily moderated and any advertisers are banned very quickly. If you've never met this person on the other fourm in real life then PLEASE do not book based on her recommendation alone.

'Her' claim of having 'three friends' that have also gone with him just seems very odd to me. Most of us girls are the only ones that have BAs and to have three friends also have a BA, let alone using the same surgeon, is unheard of.

SS had a problem where, on another forum, a woman claiming to be a happy patient of a certain surgeon PM'd her. SS booked with him and suffered some horrific complications. She is a wonderful, strong woman and has amazing boobs now, but even by her own admission she was suckered into booking because of the 'woman' on the forum.

Just be very cautious, not everyone on the net is who they say they are.

xx

Hi Hun xx

Sorry to hear about how anxious all this is making you feel sweety xx

Like Roxy says be cautious about what someone has told you on the net hun xx They could be anyone xx

Good luck for your consult gorgeous xx

rk19 wrote:
Zoeb - i honestly do think i should maybe try counselling also, but i dont want someone to talk me out of it, and i assume they will just say be happy with what you have, which isnt something i want to hear, as i know i will never be happy with what i have. If i dont have a BA i will always just wish i had big boobs, which also drives me crazy!

Good counsellors won't tell you what to do, I know when i had some counselling a year or two ago, it just helped me sort my head out about how i feel about certain things, one of which was my self-esteem and my very negative relaitonship with my own body. At the time I was quite depressed and so it helped me lift myself out of that. A few years later, when i was feeling quite positive and fully in control of my life, then the BA was right for me.

We are all so different and do things for different reasons. Complications do happen, and you have to be in the right frame of mind to know you will/can cope with them if they arise. Take your time, don't rush, and i am sure you will come to the right decision for you.

Good luck, keep us posted

xxx