Telling people..

Hi ladies, just curious as to what other peoples reactions where when telling them about your ba?

I've only told a few people. My OH went to see his parents last night & told them about the op. He then went over again today and he said his Dad has been researching it online and they cant believe how much I'm spending on having this done. His Mum even said there's nothing wrong with having no boobs why cant she just wear padded bras. I feel so embarrassed & guilty, especially as they have helped us out financially with our flat. I'm now dreading seeing them this weekend :(

Everybody has different reactions, my mum thought I were messing about at first and took it as a joke but then when I said iv booked it she almost dropped dead and my grandparents were absolutely disgusted as they are from a era of you are who you are but have been very supportive overall. The worst thing for me is that my dad has hardly spoken to me since I have had it done :/ I suppose everybody is different but if it makes tou happy they should be happy for you. My mum has been amazing since I have had it done if anything it has made us closer as she has been looking after me for the last 2 weeks making my meals and drinks whenever I want them. Xx

I've told a few people, but I doubt everyone as I can't be bothered with people's negativity. Everyone will have their 10 pence worth but the novelty will soon fade and it will be old news ;) As for them helping you with the house, that's absolutely lovely of them, but don't feel guilty it's not like your asking them to pay for your boobies! It's a huge decision to under go surgery don't let anyone spoil it for you. xx

What you do with YOUR money, no matter how much anyone has helped you 'out of choice' in the past is nobody's business but yours hun, so you hold your head up high babe. Your in laws don't live with your body. They have no idea what it might feel to be you. Right now heir only focus is on how much this is costing and as long as they're not financing this, which they're not. I don't really feel they have a right to comment hun.

You've done nothing wrong and don't you forget that Hangle xx

Hi there, you will always get someone that's negative. Most people have been great, my mum, my hubby and my friends... However I have had a couple of " why do you want that done" you're fine the way you are..... Etc etc.... But it's my body and I've saved really hard and it's nothing to do with them...... I'm quite an open person so I have got to be careful really...the people that matter in my life are so supportive so I don't care......

sorry to hear you've been getting negative reactions hun.. i had the same :/

if you type in 'telling people' in the search bar here, there are a good few older threads on the topic which i have found really helpful x

Thanks everyone :).

I know everyone will have their opinion on it and that's fine, just was a bit shocked by their reaction to money side of things. But your right cookie, its my money that I've had aside since I was 18 for this, so spent all these years looking into it to be 100% sure this was the right thing for me. Roll on June! X

Iv told my mum and step dad and my boyfriends mum & step dad but I'm so scared to tell my dad! I will out of respect for him but I know he will just moan!
Iv hardly told friends cos I would just get negative comments and I honestly can't be bothered explaining my reasons for having it done!
As long as I'm happy that's the main thing!
X

I'm not that close to my dad, hardly speak to him about personal things. He's had to deal with both his daughters going through a ba in the space of a few months. He saw how unhappy we were & has accepted it, although can understand it hasn't been easy for him. Hope it goes ok when you tell your dad sezbaby :)

When I decided to have my Ba done, the only people I told were my OH, mum and both nans. I didn't feel it was anybody else's business so never told any friends at anything. My best friend still doesn't know now and I have seen her 4 times since I have had it done!
What you decide to do with your body is down to you and what you decide to do with your savings is also down to you! At the end of the day, regardless of whether your 'in laws' helped you out or not, that was down to them and if you are paying them back then it had absolutely nothing to do with them! It annoys me when people think they can have a right to complain about things that have nothing at all to do with them! Be happy in your decision and don't worry about what other people think! it's your body and your feelings so you have your Ba and be happy within yourself! Sod everyone else x

Sorry for some of the typos. I was typing fast! Oops

Everyone was ok when I told them, mum, dad and sister. My OH hasnt told his mum Ive had it done purly because their not close at all and only see eachother every so often.
If she said anything me and my OH would tell her where to go, its our money and we can do what we like with it! Dont let them put you off, as long as your happy then thats all that matters. Im with cookie, its not their business to comment. x x

It's always been a running joke/common knowledge with my close family and friends that I want a boob job. It's not a common occourance in our small town so when I told my OH and my mother of been for a consultation I don't think they believed me haha.

So far I've only told my O/H, my Mum (so my dad knows by now) and my two cousins who I'm very very close with. And all you guys :P I don't plan on telling anyone else and I'll just let people make their own descisions after I've had it done.

I'm hoping people don't really notice or care, but if anyone asks post op I won't deny it.

I hope the visit goes well at the weekend. You didn't tell them for their approval, you told then to be polite.

Xx

Hear hear nire white!

Just a quick update - met up with oh's parents this morning for breakfast and no mention of the ba! Hopefully they don't say anything else in the run up.

This boobie journey is such an emotional rollarcoaster, one day I'll be on a high then the next day I'll be thinking the worst. Don't know what I would do without this forum :)

Jangle I was just saying the same about the emotional roller coaster. I'm so pleased today went well for you. I bet you are a little more at ease now. xx

Lol.. *Hangle sorry stupid pedict text! x

Thank you rayray :) congrats on your booking! X

Dangle so glad today went well for you and they didn't mention anything. But if they do then just say politely its not something you wish to discuss with them :-) if they have any sense they won't mention it again.

I have only told my best friend, my OH and my dad. I wouldn't date tell my mum cause she will just go nuts and not speak to me for weeks.

My dad and OH have both been very supportive. My dad understands most of all how much I wanted it because I've been banging on about it for years to him!

I'm really worried about people at work finding out, because I'm a personal assistant the people are all very senior and will probably look down on it and think it's disgusting but then I can't imagine them bringing it up into conversation? Xx

so glad its being going mostly well for you girls!

ruthaay, if they're such senior people at your work (and probably mostly men?) then i doubt they would mention something!!
you can always be clever about the way you dress and make sure the change appears gradually (this is my plan as well!) and then i'm sure they won't notice!

telling my mum did not go well at all, she just keeps trying to put me off it is the short version, and today i realised i will have to tell my dad as well!! how awkward!! my sister will be flying over to look after me, and because we're all quite close he would realise my sister is in london, and i dont want anyone else to lie for me. he also just said today he wanted to come visit, and around my BA date, so i HAVE to tell him!!
my mum already said she wouldnt do it for me..

my dad is quite a formal person.. do we think i could put it in an email? i would hate to have to talk to him about boobs in person! x

Hi blueeyedsoul- sorry to hear telling your mum didn't go to well, I just read your other post & can relate to you with wanting the support and reassurance from parents. I also feel like I've disappointed my family as I didn't go to Uni as they would have liked, my sister is going in September and has been heavily rewarded because of this. I've been looking into having a ba since I was 18 then in December my sister said she was having one in April. I was so upset. my mum and dad were so supportive of her and I was kicking myself that I never spoke to them about it before. So to cut a long story short two days after my sister had hers I sat down with my parents and said I was going to have one too- wasn't easy for me as me and my dad aren't particularly close but I guess my sister having one helped a bit.

I'm sure if you explained the reasons to your dad he will understand, do whatever makes you feel comfortable, like you said putting it in an email then perhaps he will have time to get his head round it all before talking face to face? my oh wasn't entirely accepting when I told him, he recently had an operation for a hernia and couldn't understand why anyone would put themselves through surgery for non medical reasons. But when I discussed it with him in depth he realises there is more to it than a vanity thing & is trying his best to be there for me throughout this journey.

Sorry to ramble on! I hope the situation improves with your mum hun & good luck with your dad. You mentioned your sister will be looking after you which is nice :) at the end of the day it's our decision. If I didn't go through with this I would spend the rest of my life regretting it, it's something I've thought about non stop for 6 years. Everyone on here is so lovely so you've always got us for support :)

Ruthaay- the work situation is worrying me too. Like blueeyedsoul said - if they are senior I don't think they wouldn't openly bring it up in front of you. Even if they did I would tell them its not something I want to discuss! My workplace is the opposite, there is a very high up male member of staff who is always making inappropriate comments. My oh works at the same company so I'm hoping that this person won't cross the line and say something...will just have to wait and see! X

thanks hangle!! i'm going to have to write that email to my dad pretty soon, aargh! x