Did you/are you telling people

I was wondering, have you told lots of people you're having BA?

I am not telling anyone apart from close friends and family, partly because I am wanting to keep it low-key but also because I am looking forward to the surprised looks!

What about you girls?

i told my parents sis in law and hubbie of course, had intended on telling most of my mates who i thought i was close to but ended up not telling them because of the reaction of got back off pretty much all of them, when i said i had booked a consultation they all thought i was doing it for vanity and couldnt understand why else i would do it. have since had my op seen them all on a nite out and none of them quessed which if i am honest with am pretty pleased with as i now now it would be the news of the town in a flash.saying that i was wearing a baggy jumper to cover up but when and if they find out will be a different story.

im surprised at how many people i have told , lots of my family kno and work friends , years ago i would have been to embarrassed to tell anybody but now im not that bothered , the only person i did find hard to tell is a friend i talk to online i wasnt sure how he would feel , but i didnt want to hide it so i finally plucked up the courage to mention i was thinkin about it and i needn't have worried as it was fine xx

I have only told one close friend, my mom and my dad (and his wife knows), and my husband of course, no one else knows ive got it done, ive been hiding it... not sure what kind of reaction ill get, so im scared for ppl to know i guess....

I like this post because I am pre-ba and going through the same question of who should know. I had a really hard time telling my mum, as some of you may know, and things went amazingly well with her. However, in our discussion she did say to me I shouldn't tell people.
I think it's really to help me avoid justifying it to people and being in a situation that could easily hurt my feelings. I wish I could be thicker skinned and not let things truly bother me but the truth is it can. I am already self conscious about my new boobies and don't even have them yet. I know people are going to find me vain for doing this but the decision is a personal one that only I really know the extent to. Do any of you have suggestions of what to say when you are in an awkward situation that someone asks why? My close friends that I trust & love are the people I have had chats with about this. I have no problem talking to them about this but what do I say to people I don't want to explain myself to?
Thanks for reading this message of mine, it's a little muddled - so many thoughts I am trying to organize!!

xoxox, Elle

I know it sounds crazy but I am not telling people. Only my sister and hubby. I am walking around in a very very padded bra hoping it will not be as noticeable. I dread the thought of people judging me on spending money on vanity.

the way i see it its not about vanity or to please anybody else , its about makin yourself happy and to feel more comfortable with your own body .

we are not doin this to be glamour models or to pose in magazines its just to be able to look in the mirror and to like what we see , ive wanted this for so many years and never had the guts to do more than wishin always worried what others would think , but why care what they think , its what i think and feel that matters . i havnt shouted it to the world that in gettin new boobs ive told the people who matter to me .

i can just imagine at the school gates all the gossips wondering were my boobs have come from but the gossip will last a week or 2 ill love my new boobs a lot longer than that .

I told everyone I know as I planned a big jump in size from an A to DD I thought it would be really noticeable. I could have got away with not telling anyone as unless I really flaunt them on a night out, you wouldnt be able to tell and I went from an A to FF. I only had one bad reaction off my closest friend but I think she thought I was going to come out of surgery looking like Jordan. Once she seen me afterwards she was very proud of me for changing something I dont like about myself. Everyone was very supportive and wanted a poke to see what they felt like afterwards lol. My mum was also very worried about me and didn't want me to do it as she thought her baby was perfect and was worried about me having an operation, but she supported me in my decision.
I think if you want to tell people then you should, if not you dont need to, even though we notice our chest size or lack of it, the people around us dont.

Everybody who knows me knows I hated my pre op boobs, I tild everyone really, had no bad reactions not to my face anyway and if they did it behind my back, well, what I dont know wont hurt me!

I waited until I was 36 though as not sure I would of been able to be like that at a younger age. Think you have to go with what feels right for you xx

Thanks for all the replies girls I had no idea this was such a big subject! Sorry this will be a long post!

deflated wrote: but when and if they find out will be a different story.

kaboobie wrote: so im scared for ppl to know i guess....

Do you girls mind if I ask, why would you be scared to tell people? Do you think they will decide you are just doing it to go huge and get attention or something? (which we all know is not true!!!)

sammi35 wrote:the way i see it its not about vanity or to please anybody else , its about makin yourself happy and to feel more comfortable with your own body .

we are not doin this to be glamour models or to pose in magazines its just to be able to look in the mirror and to like what we see ,

Right on Sammi! It's all about us at the end of the day. Some poeple may think we are vain but perhaps they don't understand what it is like to look at yourself and not like something that much that it hurts!

I had one interesting reaction, I told a friend and she accidentally mentioned it in front of another friend who's a guy. He said "why would any guy make their girlfriend do that?" I just thought "what?!" Why would anyone think that?! My boyfriend has nothing to do with this, it's what I want, it's so I can feel right about myself, look in the mirror and be happy and so that clothes will fit me properly!!

Phoebe wrote:Everybody who knows me knows I hated my pre op boobs, I tild everyone really, had no bad reactions not to my face anyway and if they did it behind my back, well, what I dont know wont hurt me!

Thats great Phoebe, I like your way of thinking!

elleblondie wrote:I like this post because I am pre-ba and going through the same question of who should know. I had a really hard time telling my mum, as some of you may know, and things went amazingly well with her. However, in our discussion she did say to me I shouldn't tell people.
I think it's really to help me avoid justifying it to people and being in a situation that could easily hurt my feelings. I wish I could be thicker skinned and not let things truly bother me but the truth is it can. I am already self conscious about my new boobies and don't even have them yet. I know people are going to find me vain for doing this but the decision is a personal one that only I really know the extent to. Do any of you have suggestions of what to say when you are in an awkward situation that someone asks why? My close friends that I trust & love are the people I have had chats with about this. I have no problem talking to them about this but what do I say to people I don't want to explain myself to?
Thanks for reading this message of mine, it's a little muddled - so many thoughts I am trying to organize!!

xoxox, Elle

First off *hugs*

I decided not to tell people in general because I don't want most peoples opinions and secondly because I don't want them to think I am looking for attention. I have booked two weeks off work and as far as most people are concerned I am going on holiday! My parents know, boyfriend knows, close friends know and my two best friends at work know and they all unerstand why I want it.

Thinking over about the people I work with and my other friends I don't think I'll have a bad reaction. The guys at work were talking about it over lunch the other day and saying how they liked big boobs and me and my friend gave each other a sideways glance and a knowing smile!

I suppose I expect people to accept me for who I am and who I am wants a boob job! I'm not sure exactly what I will say if I do get any negative reactions but I think I will be prepared to defend myself, not that I should have to! To be fair I am 5'9" and an A cup so people should be able to see why, but being honest if they were to have an issue with it then I'd just ignore them, they're not worth the effort. If they're really so unempathic that they can't see how it would be for me and why I would want it then they should just be quiet about what isn't their business anyway!

No sob stories now but I have already changed a lot with my life because I was unhappy. I don't just accept things how they are and put up with a bad deal, I will change things to make myself happy and I don't think any of us should be ashamed about having the courage to do so.

I told anyone who would listen and even the woman in marks in spencer when I bought my sports bras and the woman in holland and barrat when I went for my arnica tablets! ha ha! I'm very much a 'wear my heart on my sleeve' kinda girl - I rarely hide anything about myself and my mum says I give too much away! (secrets from friends are different obv - those will be with me to the grave). It's entirely up to you tho - it's amazing, but people don't notice the size of other people's boobs! honest!

Mx

it's amazing, but people don't notice the size of other people's boobs! honest!

It's all I noticed leading up to my op
xx

carol_s wrote:

it's amazing, but people don't notice the size of other people's boobs! honest!

It's all I noticed leading up to my op
xx

Yeah I know exactly what you mean! Now I know things are gonna change I just cant wait and am cursing my current shape!

This is a really interesting dilema that I've been having with myself recently. I've only discussed it with my boyfriend and a couple of my closest friends. The reactions are always really interesting and varied. The majority of people I have found are very much against it. Even to the point where they bring it up in every conversation and try and turn me against the idea. They really don't understand how it can be rational for someone to put themselves through it. My boyfriend on the other hand, is very supportive, but I know this is down to him being a massive boob man. He is supportive in the encouraging sense and often plays down the risks of complications in surgery etc. It's always interesting to educate people who are very against it based on media perceptions of surgery and change their opinion on it though.

The one person who I'm not sure about telling is my mum. I'm not very close to her but it's one of those situations that perhaps that she should really know, since it is surgery and all. I just don't know how to approach it.

It is funny how boob obsessed you become before your surgery (and probably after too). You don't even realise you're looking at them all the time or slipping them in to conversation.

In my opinion anyway I think you should only tell people if you're comfortable to. x

I have only told my parents, my boyfriend and my manager at work so that I could discuss taking time off.
I mainly talk to my mum about it, both my parents are supportive but my dad is very old fashioned and gets embarrassed so my mum usually just talks to him for me.
My boyfriend doesn't understand that I want to have the op to make myself feel better and so I can get bras to fit and go swimming etc. (I'm currently an A cup one side and a B-C the other). He says I'm fine the way I am and I don't need it (which is both nice and annoying that he won't understand!) He will support me but I can't talk to him about it because I know he'd rather I don't go ahead with it. He finds it quite upsetting that I'm going to pay someone to cut me up - that's his view! I'm sure he'll be happy after though.
My manager was very nice and understanding. No one else at work will find out - I've already heard their views on boob jobs and they're very small minded. They judge people for coming to work with lipstick on, let alone a new set of boobs!
I don't plan on telling anyone else, if I could get away with telling no one I would have! I don't like having to justify it, because of the media and celebrities etc. most people think if you have a boob job you're self obsessed and vain.

i have told quite a few people and probably many more know than i realise because my 6 year old daughter knows of my plans!

But i really don't care what people think. I'm doing it for me and people can say what they like, that i'm vain or it's selfish to spend all that money on myself. My kids don't go without anything, I am not in debt and so what if it is vain - that's my choice!

I was most scared about telling my mum but she's OK with it and is just of another generation where people didn't have cosmetic surgery and to her, having an operation that isn't medically necessary is hard to understand. Saying that, she is coming to look after me for the 2nd week after the op so is totally supportive.

Good luck to you all whoever you decide to tell - it's our decision and our bodies and we all know the risks etc. xx

I also wondered about this, personally I'm not gonna tell everyone because I think it's personal to myself, so far I have only told one close friend.
I do plan on telling my family too and maybe a couple more friends but I was wondering, what happens when you have it done, then go to work with a bigger bust if you haven't told people? They might not really notice but if they do, would you tell them yes I had a boob job (the news would go round my office in seconds, the gossips terrible there!) or would you say I've just gained a bit of weight...?

I was also wondering, do they sit really high when you first have them done, like so high that it would be really noticeable? Or would you get away with having a top that covers them so they don't look like rocks!?
Sorry if I've gone off topic!

Tash xx

Hi Tash, just get yourself a couple of bras a bit larger eg if you're going from an A to a D, get yourself a B cup and wear that for a week, initially going in wearing looser fitting clothes and gradually change to tighter clothing later on in the week. Repeat the following week wearing the C cup (+ chicken fillets) - people will not really notice as it is being done imperceptibly slowly.
They do sit high at first, but as you are having two weeks off, the initial swelling will have started to subside and they will be dropping - and you will probably have to wear a chest band too. So, if you wear baggy clothing with a higher neckline (to hide the chest band), I don't really think people will notice.
xx

Thanks Carol, good idea about the bra thing! To be honest, I do tend to wear padded bras most of the time anyway so I may end up only looking about a cup size bigger than what they all thought I was naturally... little do they know lol

Tash xx

I think that as women we worry about what others think of us anyway, whether we have put weight on, what we wear or who we go out with or are friends with.

I told people at work, my friends, my parents, anyone that i felt i could talk to really. i dont worry about what others think about me having implants. Its what i had always wanted when i lost around 4 stone in weight. If people want to judge me then they have the problem not me (and they better not tell me, lol). Everyone i have told has been really supportive, asking to have a look, asking how i am and can they do anything for me!
Even on holiday when i first had them done 4 years ago, when people used to look, i'd go "yes they're fake, but all bought and paid for by myself, not my husband". they would then turn away looking quite guilty and i would just chuckle. :heehee:

carol_s wrote:

it's amazing, but people don't notice the size of other people's boobs! honest!

It's all I noticed leading up to my op
xx

Well except for us booby ladies of course - but 'normal' people don't notice :)

Mx

LauraJN wrote:This is a really interesting dilema that I've been having with myself recently. I've only discussed it with my boyfriend and a couple of my closest friends. The reactions are always really interesting and varied. The majority of people I have found are very much against it. Even to the point where they bring it up in every conversation and try and turn me against the idea. They really don't understand how it can be rational for someone to put themselves through it.

Really interesting post Laura, thanks! I'm sorry you have had to deal with people trying to turn you against it, that must be hard. Do you find that has shaken your resolve at all?

Malibu wrote:My boyfriend doesn't understand that I want to have the op to make myself feel better and so I can get bras to fit and go swimming etc. (I'm currently an A cup one side and a B-C the other). He says I'm fine the way I am and I don't need it (which is both nice and annoying that he won't understand!) He will support me but I can't talk to him about it because I know he'd rather I don't go ahead with it. He finds it quite upsetting that I'm going to pay someone to cut me up - that's his view! I'm sure he'll be happy after though.
My manager was very nice and understanding. No one else at work will find out - I've already heard their views on boob jobs and they're very small minded. They judge people for coming to work with lipstick on, let alone a new set of boobs!
I don't plan on telling anyone else, if I could get away with telling no one I would have! I don't like having to justify it, because of the media and celebrities etc. most people think if you have a boob job you're self obsessed and vain.

It'll be really nice to be able to go underwear shopping in La Senza and M&S rather than just H&M! I wear bras intended for teenagers and when you're 26 and 5'9" that really doesn't feel great!

That can't be nice at work, good luck with that huni!

I know what you mean about not telling anyone. I think perhaps like you said people's perception is just vanity and it isn't about that. I don't want to feel self concious about my body, I have done for the last fifteen years, enough is enough!

carolyn77 wrote:
But i really don't care what people think. I'm doing it for me and people can say what they like, that i'm vain or it's selfish to spend all that money on myself. My kids don't go without anything, I am not in debt and so what if it is vain - that's my choice!

Good luck to you all whoever you decide to tell - it's our decision and our bodies and we all know the risks etc. xx

Thanks Carolyn! You're right, it is our decision, our bodies, there's nothing wrong with putting in time and effort to change things in your life to how you want them to be!

lovestruckromeo wrote: I do plan on telling my family too and maybe a couple more friends but I was wondering, what happens when you have it done, then go to work with a bigger bust if you haven't told people? They might not really notice but if they do, would you tell them yes I had a boob job (the news would go round my office in seconds, the gossips terrible there!) or would you say I've just gained a bit of weight...?

If people ask I will tell them the truth. That's just me though, I don't think anyone I work with would have a problem with it and if they do it's their problem! I have told a few friends and my parents and that's about it.

How I dress after I'm not sure. I obviously won't wear anything revealing for a bit until things are settled and I can wear normal bras. Generally I don't do loose fitting so I think it may end up being sort of obvious, but that doesn't worry me. I guess I fit into the catagory of people who's different but has courage in her convictions, people just tend to accept my eccentricities and I'd hope will accept this too.

lovestruckromeo wrote:Thanks Carol, good idea about the bra thing! To be honest, I do tend to wear padded bras most of the time anyway so I may end up only looking about a cup size bigger than what they all thought I was naturally... little do they know lol

Tash xx

I think I'll be the same Tash, I am an A really but wear a B so sort of appear a B just about so a C wouldn't be a huge change. I need to do a rice test and try to work out if 340s are enough or if I wanted to go a bit bigger. I guess I wouldn't want no-one to notice, that'd be a huge anti-climax! I'd certainly hate to have it done and wish i had gone bigger.

sherri9871 wrote: Everyone i have told has been really supportive, asking to have a look, asking how i am and can they do anything for me!
Even on holiday when i first had them done 4 years ago, when people used to look, i'd go "yes they're fake, but all bought and paid for by myself, not my husband". they would then turn away looking quite guilty and i would just chuckle. :heehee:

:heehee: Fantastic, can't wait to try that one!

Always interesting to hear how different people handle this particular issue!

I haven't told anyone except my other half and my dad. I've heard enough people say they've managed to hide it pretty well, so that's what I'm planning to do around most of my family for the first while, until they just get used to my new size in looser clothes, and then I can start dressing normally again lol. My friends and others might notice, or they might not. I don't really care either way. None will probably even bother to ask me, and if they do I'll just tell them they're imagining things, and stop looking at my boobs!! lol

There's only one person on the planet that I'm desperate to hide it from... my mother in law. And I'm only 23 so I'm going to be spending a lot of years dressing like a nun in front of her whenever I see her. She's also the most likely person to notice because she checks me out more than any person I've ever known. She just likes to stare. Half the time she can tell what bra I'm wearing through my clothes, and she knows exactly how tiny I am because she always tried to get a good look whenever I was breastfeeding. But she doesn't get why I'd be insecure (because I'm thin, big whoop). And she'd think I was the most selfish person on the planet for spending so much money on something so pointless when I have two little mouths to feed. And I know I'm not imagining it because she said exactly that to me when my sister in law had it done!!

I also think, why stress yourself out about telling people about it before it's done? Just do it, and then worry about them finding out afterwards. I mean, what can they really say about it once you've already done it?! That way, there isn't any pressure from anybody that can put you off!

The things we do, eh!

LL
x

I went from a B to E and nobody I didn't tell about my op has noticed a thing x

Good luck with the mother in law lindylou - must be awful having someone like that around! Hope she keeps her opinions to herself - she sounds very narrowminded.

Oh well, if she does annoy you about new boobs, just have a peek down your top to cheer yourself up again!
xx