Jealous comments...

Well my best friend who was always supportive of my surgery has been a right bitch today... She previously told me she would get implants but her husband wont let her and know all of a sudden she is saying "Me and my husband think implants are dangerous and we wouldnt want a foreign body inside my body" She is thinking about fat transfer to plump up her boobs after she has lost weight and is convinced this is the right procedure for her but when I explained to her that it will only give a small enhancement and its relatively new she just went for me and attacked me for getting implants saying that they will probably burst inside me and that she doesnt think its a good idea cos you have to get them redone every 10 years... Dhe seems so clued up on implants all of a sudden but doesnt seem to have a clue about the procedure she is thinking of! I looked into fat transfer and although it can work for some people I am skeptical of it as they say most of it gets absorbed by the body and you have to have it done every year or so to maintain the results... its untested... may give an uneven lumpy result and has been linked to cancer as the fat can calcify in the body and it ends up a lot more expensive. I explained this and that I made MY decision based on the safety profile of implants, the fact that the results can be more accurately controlled by the surgeon and that you dont have to keep going back for repeat appointments and she doesnt seem to want to know but is happy to bitch at me that my implants are apparently gonna pop inside me and kill me! I just know that this is her fella talking and if she had the chance and wasnt being controlled by him that she would get the implants but I cant believe how the jealous streak has reared its ugly head in her....

It is sad that she cant voice an opinion of her own. Did you not ask her what made her change her tune?

Unfortunately, the green eyed monster is a horrible thing. I think for a lot of girls they can't even control it, the jealously literally consumes them and it turns them from lovely people into to really vile and spiteful xx

Probably the best way to deal with a friend like this is to tell her you're grateful for her concern and you understand implants have had quite a bit of bad publicity lately because of the pip implants but you researched well and you've had very good implants used. That you understand the risks but you felt the results with implants were better for the look you wanted and the risks were different. You had what you felt was right for you and you will support her in whatever decision is right for her. Just ask her to research it and go with a surgeon that has lots of experience. Explain to her that it is her body and she should decide what she wants and not let anyone else make a decision for her.

I know where its come from... we are all going on holiday in Sept and I know she has told me she is desperate to lose weight. She is a size 16 stocky build and I am a size 6 petite build and I she has said she is worried about standing next to me on holiday and I think her insecurities have caused her to attack my BA! I feel hurt by it even though i know its jealousy and my fella reckons I should take it as a compliment but I am shocked that she could say such hurtful things... I worked damn hard to get the body I have now... it wasnt so long ago that I was a size 18! There is no reason why she cant be just like me if she puts the work in but I am guessing she has realised that she wont get the boobs she wants cos she has allowed her hubby to control her.... but thats not really my problem is it?!

Oh some women can be so cruel!! She obviously hasn't done her research as you said 5stone, I looked into fat transfer myself before implants. And everything you said about it is bang on.... Maybe you should point out your own research on fat transfer and the dangers etc. or you could just ignore her and just be happy in yourself xx you have fan dabby dozy boobies, and she clearly wants boobs like yours otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned yours
Inparticular. Huni your fantastic, don't let her get you down xx

5stonedown wrote:I know where its come from... we are all going on holiday in Sept and I know she has told me she is desperate to lose weight. She is a size 16 stocky build and I am a size 6 petite build and I she has said she is worried about standing next to me on holiday and I think her insecurities have caused her to attack my BA! I feel hurt by it even though i know its jealousy and my fella reckons I should take it as a compliment but I am shocked that she could say such hurtful things... I worked damn hard to get the body I have now... it wasnt so long ago that I was a size 18! There is no reason why she cant be just like me if she puts the work in but I am guessing she has realised that she wont get the boobs she wants cos she has allowed her hubby to control her.... but thats not really my problem is it?!

I think that's probably insecurity talking rather than jealousy babe - I mean, who wants to stand next to a stunning lady on the beach when you're not comfortable with your own body? I actually think that's a natural hun and probably the majority of women have felt that at some time in their life.

I also agree with misf1 babe - horses for courses. What's right for one woman isn't always for another, but that's not to say she should be forcing her opinion on you, but I also don't think this is worth losing a friend over

You're happy with your boobs babe and you bravely did something about it, your friend still has those hang ups you had too 'before' you had your surgery.

Like misf1 said, just thank her for the advise but tell her you're more than happy with what you have and as a friend you'll be more than happy to support her in whichever choices she takes if she wants to do something to improve her body too. Xx

I certainly dont want to lose a friend over it and I have been very diplomatic with her about it but I just needed to rant about it here!!!

Oh friends sometimes can be very hurtful at time, I mean without even realising my friend told me that I would get cancer and I don't think she realised how much it hurt me that he could say something like that. But you just have to turn around and take it with a pinch of salt because we all get jealous at times I just don't think some people think before they speak xx

I agree with cookie hun definitely insecurity. You've said you used to be size 18 and have lost a lot of weight, and I'm guessing you were friends with her before you lost the weight? It's very hard for a person to accept someone they love changing like that. Before my BA my friend who is heavier than me would always have her boobs popping out of every outfit because she was insecure about her weight, but knew that she had great kn*ckers. however, now that I have em too, she's calmed down a lot with her outfits.

it's all insecurity, but I'm sorry you have to go through it. Also, if her fella is not allowing her to get implants, she has to justify that somehow my making it "her" decision. I actually did this for years when I was scared to get implants - I would rave about how bad they were (not to people who actually had them, I wasn't being mean) but I was trying to justify why I wasn't getting them.

you're right to go easy on her, she's probably dead insecure now that you're skinny with huge boobies. however, I think it's right that you say something to her about hurting your feelings.

have a great time on hols!!

Yeah I lost 5 and a half stone and we have been friends through it all. We were a similar size when we became friends and then both of us gained loads of weight... she lost a load and then I lost all my weight and then she regained her weight and is now trying to get it off again. I love her as my friend but she can be insensitive to my feelings and if I was the same way to her our friendship would have ended years ago... I just roll my eyes and shrug it off to keep the peace its always been like that.. she's a 'can give it but cant take it' kind of person if you know what I mean... I just dont think she realises how hurtful she can be at times.

Argh! I hate it when people do that!! They support you through something cuz they have a secret hope they might get it too. But then when they realise they can't, (for whatever reason), they pretend that ''their'' decision is justified. I suspect that she still wants to have implants like you but as she's not 'allowed' she makes it look like she doesn't want it, it's all about hiding the fact that your thoughts and actions are controlled by someone else.
If I were you, I'd say thank you, but I did my research and I'm aware of the risks and benefits and I made my decision accordingly. If you disagree with it, then I'm aware of it now, so no need to bring it up again.
With regards to her fat graft BA, I also researched it and you're spot on with what u said hun. So instead of shooting down 'her option' I'd say, if you think that's what will work best for you, then I'll support you, but make sure you research it properly and make an informed decision.
I've got something similar from a friend, but laughed it off and took it as a compliment. I haven't seen most of my friends since the BA due to half-term, but no doubt I'll get some of this too. Bring it on!! lol

I was talking to some of the women who frequent the gym that I go to... they are all a lot older (and probably wiser) than myself but they all agreed if they had the chance to get a BA (amongst other cosmetic procedures) they would do it... I'm not saying its for everyone but I think most women would like to surgically enhance part of their body and I guess when someone sees a friend get so much out of a procedure that they themselves would like but cant have its hard not to feel jealous or insecure.... still doesnt make up for being mean though!

Jealousy is one big b*tch! It's a shame when people who are your friends feel the need to make spiteful comments through jealousy/insecurity x

I hate it when jealousy rears its ugly head. The nicest people can turn really vile, Ive had with a previous friend but Ive now chose to ignore all comments.
x

yeah, most of mine want something nipped or tucked, which is why I'm expecting a bit of bitchiness, as I doubt some will be able to do it x

5stonedown wrote:I was talking to some of the women who frequent the gym that I go to... they are all a lot older (and probably wiser) than myself but they all agreed if they had the chance to get a BA (amongst other cosmetic procedures) they would do it... I'm not saying its for everyone but I think most women would like to surgically enhance part of their body and I guess when someone sees a friend get so much out of a procedure that they themselves would like but cant have its hard not to feel jealous or insecure.... still doesnt make up for being mean though!

i totally agree!!! back when i was pre BA, i used to speak about how i wanted one quite a bit. most people were pretty positive about it but i got a few people who turned their noses up. Once i booked i decided to keep it on the down low cos i couldn't be arsed with people sticking their two pence in but i always said to the people i had told "i don't get why people are so negative, rude and judgmental about it. Every single one of my friends has told me there's a certain part of their body they hate. And if i gave every one of them a £5000 voucher that could only be spent on cosmetic surgery, every single one would use it!!!" But because people can't get surgery, for whatever reason, they decide to bash those who are able to go ahead!!

Sounds like insecurity and frustration with herself. I think this is more about her than you. She could be a bit depressed ( how she looks, relationship, finances) maybe you could encourage her to join you at the gym? Share weight loss tips? Support her through consultations/research? Could result in a more confident friend who is strong enough to make her own decisions xx

Hey 5sd,
i agree with the other girls, sounds like shes v.insecure and jealous. Youve done amazingly well to lose the weight you wanted to and now you have a fab pair of new boobs aswell...(and an amazing wedding dress :D...and amazing eyebrows haha! )
I understand you dont want to loose her as a friend but she cant keep talking to you like that so i think she needs to say a v.big sorry and you two should try to move on like the others say and maybe support her through the gym etc if she wants!
Dont let her get you down though because you should be on top of the world right now :) xx

5stonedown, you are breathtakingly beautiful, you can rest assured that any negative comments are due to jealousy, whether about your BA, weight or whatever. You've got something (several things in fact) that she can't have and she's making these comments to redress the balance between you because she's insecure. It's a real shame because you expect good friends to be kind and have your own interests at heart but everyone looks out for themselves. You've worked exceptionally hard for your new body and you deserve to enjoy it, not for jealous people to try and minimise you. Try to sieve out her comments and remember they are completely to do with her and nothing to do with you! xx

Whatever is causing it, it will pass. If its insecurity she will come to terms with it hopefully. You've handled it really well!! Well done you! Nobody need know of your secret rant here! lol! You've been the picture of composure and it makes you look secure in your decision (which you clearly are) and that's probably enough to put a stopper on negativity. I hope this works itself out and you can remain friends. Its always sad to lose them over things like this x

Whatever is causing it, it will pass. If its insecurity she will come to terms with it hopefully. You've handled it really well!! Well done you! Nobody need know of your secret rant here! lol! You've been the picture of composure and it makes you look secure in your decision (which you clearly are) and that's probably enough to put a stopper on negativity. I hope this works itself out and you can remain friends. Its always sad to lose them over things like this.
You've done an amazing job getting where you are, no doubt such hard work! You're clearly a very strong person and try not to let this get to you too much! Hopefully she will realise the error of her ways and draw inspiration rather than jealousy from you in the longer term x