selfish?

So i'm having a guilt trip this evening...

Does anyone else with children feel like they're being/been selfish going under the knife when you have beautiful children to put first? I'm struggling and feel like a terrible mother.

How did you deal with it? i've even heard that people write letters in the event of ... 'what if!' ;(

x

Hiya Huni xx I understand how your feeling! I have 7 beautiful children ranging from 17 to 2. And I do feel very guilty about going under the knife and spending almost 5 grand on me. I've had to borrow the money off my grandad to pay for surgery. But after over 4 years of trying to get implants on the nhs I had to do something! If it is something that will make you feel better about how you feel about yourself, and give you more confidence, then it will benefit your kids too. I won't go on holiday or take my kids swimming, and I know that will change after surgery! Sometimes you have to put yourself first!!!! I havnt done the what if's, I find it best to concentrate on the oh my god we will be able to.... Just don't be too hard on yourself xx how old are you kids??

Yeah I certainly did. Felt guilty for spending the money on myself and not my family, for putting them through the risks of an operation and because I wouldn't be able to look after them as usual after operation. My children are at secondary school though so I could explain a lot to them and felt the risk of serious issues happening to be minimal. (The GA risk seemed the same whether a boob job or a wisdom tooth extracted) I also reconciled it with the fact I had waited for it soooo long and had put them first so many times. For me it was better to regret doing something than regret not doing something.

Thanks hun, i know you're right, just feels so foreign to be putting myself first and really cant help thinking of the 'what if's' and what they would think i thought of them!

they're only 1 and 3 x x

thanks mousemaid.. i tried using that exact example about a tooth extraction to my mum.... to no avail! x

Im the same as other post - i feel to self conscious to go on holiday the way i am pre ba (havnt been on holiday for 6 years) and it affects my life alot so i know it means spending money on myself but the change in my self esteem i think will make me so much happier and happy mum means happy children. Plus when we go on holiday after ba itll be an amazing experience for myself and my daughter as its her first time away and i will be happy with my body! xxx

I felt guilty too, my daughter is 5. She was a baby when I had my 1st BA and I had my 2nd one last May. It feels very selfish pre-op and on the op day, but those feelings subside once it's all done x

That's exactly right willows!! Happy mum happy children. I havnt been on holiday for 5 years, and every year my children see their mates go away and every year I make up some excuse to them for not going away. If it will make you happier and make you feel more confident then you shouldn't be feeling guilty. We always put our children first, that's what mums do, but sometimes we have to do things for ourselves. Have you booked you BA yet??

I doubt there's a mother alive that doesn't feel guilty for putting herself first. Its just genetically built into us isn't it to stay at the bottom of the pile come what may.... But long gone are times when women are chained to the kitchen sink looking 50 in their 30s women want more for themselves these days and its not wrong!

I guarantee there's not one of you doesn't spoil your children to bits and none of your kids want for anything now...and they'll want for nothing after surgery either!

I had a MASSIVE guilt trip after my implant ruptured after only 3 years and I was naive back then and thought my implants would last me forever! So it came as quite a shock and I was not prepared for the clinic telling me that the way my body had reacted to the rupture was not covered by my aftercare. Only the ruptured implant and the surgery was and to repair the damage done, I needed an uplift, so I had to fork out another 4 and a half K. That was nine grand I spent in 3 years! I was devastated and the only money we could get our hands on was money we'd set aside for my sons uni fund. I felt guilty as hell borrowing 'his' money, but my husband worked every hour god sent to pay it back and get him through university... He never went without. As parents, its just not conceivable to let our children do that.

So enjoy this time hun... This is YOUR time and happy women make better mums! So the happier you are.... The better mum you'll be! HA! Everyones a winner!

Its not wrong to be number one from time to time babe... You deserve it. Xx

I was the same hun my daughter is 4 and her dad doesn't bother and I thought what if something went wrong and she didn't have me either and I even sat down with my mum and told her if anything happened she was to take care of her and the reassurance helped me but it affected me I haven't taken her swimming or anything that would show off my chest area but now im glad iv done it and im already planning on so many things to do once my boobs have healed im glad I done it now and can enjoy doing things without having to worry and panic over whos gunna see me :D x