Telling my dad......

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 6:06 pm

I really have to tell my dad about my BA within the next few days because i want to book my op but i need to tell him first, i still live at home and i know he is going to FLIP! my mum is on side but it took me so long to convince her now im going to have to do it all again even worse because i cant just show him to convince him like i did with my mum!! I havn't slept the last few nights worrying about it ... I'm just so stressed and nervous i want to start to get excited rather than feeling like this!
i wish i wasnt like this i cant just come out and say it for some reason, took me a year to quit a job i was deeply unhappy in because i cant stand confrontation.
Has anyone went through anything similar? or have any ideas what i could do?
xx

by **mrsball** 14th November 2012, 6:16 pm

Aww sorry to hear you're feeling,like this. Can maybe you and your mum talk to him together so she can support in what you're saying?
Gather together all your info, booklets letters etc. and show him you are going into this with your eyes open and have gathered all the relevant info.
Tell him if it makes you happy thats all that should matter and if he doesn't agree with it just say your an adult, it will am,e you happy but you will have to agree to disagree and then speak no more of it.

I'm sure he'll be fine, he might even be a bit supportive. Xx

by Cat1985 14th November 2012, 6:42 pm

I struggled telling my parents, so much that I even went to consultations myself, catching trains etc for hours each way so they didn't find out. I eventually told my mum and she came round as I think it's easier for a woman to understand how something like this could effect someone.
I asked my mum to speak to my dad for me, a chickens way out maybe, but I really didn't know how to bring it up. He eventually lent me some of the money towards the op.
At the end of the day out parents want us happy and if you can explain how you feel and show how much you have researched then I'm sure you'll be fine.
I was surprised how my dad reacted so maybe you will be too xxx

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 7:08 pm

Thanks girls, it really helps hearing form others!
I am going to make sure my mum is about when i tell him mrsball defo, just for a bit of support

agree to disagree and then speak no more of it.

I am disparately hoping this is the case, its just so weird i won't ever talk to my dad about bras or boobs or anything hes the sort to walk out when anything like that comes up in convo lol

Cat your i am in excatly the same situation i went to consultations my self and traveled for hours when i was off college and everyone was at work, told my mum and she started to come round then i took her to a consultation and the surgeon explained everything now she knows im not doing it for no reason! I hope my dad takes it aswell as yours did!

I was thinking maybe write a letter with everything on it and explain everything fully then leave for a night and let him digest it rather than freaking out
thank you!! xx

by mais04 14th November 2012, 7:17 pm

I would get your mum to talk about it with you and just explain that it's not a mindless vanity thing and you've done your research and would really appreciate his support. Hope it goes well let us know xx :)

by Cat1985 14th November 2012, 7:18 pm

It is a hard thing to tell parents, especially dads! A letter could be good. Then you get to say everything you want and he can't interrupt and has to take in everything you have written down. At least you will be able to get your point of view across! I hope it goes ok for you xx

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 7:38 pm

Thanks mais i will be straight on here when iv told him, let you know how it goes!

Yea Cat i think its gonna have to be the letter hes sitting right here and i really cant bring myself to get it out of my mouth! I know if he'd let me explain he would have no argument but as you say he would prob interrupt me continuously!

awww god i really think this is the worst bit of the whole thing!

by Nicole 14th November 2012, 7:59 pm

awww hun i feel for ya :(
i'm not planning on telling my dad, just gona tell my mum. My dad is so oblivious he'd never notice anyway. I haven't told my mum yet thought, not looking forward to it but will deal with it when the time comes

I don't think i can offer u anymore advice than what the girls have already given you

but sending you hugs Hug

hopefully he won't react too badly xxx

by Scatty247 14th November 2012, 8:22 pm

Aww chick I know how you feel I'm 33 with 3 kids haven't lived at home since I was 15. I'm due for my ba 22nd November and I still haven't plucked up the courage to tell them what's happening!! I'm expecting them to go crazy. Every time I go to I back out good luck xx

by Princess Puddin' 14th November 2012, 8:37 pm

I am in the same boat! My op is 24th November and I have only told my mum and sister. I live with my in laws who I have not told yet and i definately have not told my dad, who incidently I am seeing this weekend! I just dont think that he would understand.

I feel that sitting my family down and telling them formally wil make it seem like a massive deal, so I am just not going to mention it until it comes up in conversation, that way i can say "I had this done ages ago!!" like it was no big deal!

Again, a cowards way out maybe, but I cant sit down and tell my Dad. He will flip!!!! Telling my dad...... 43877

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 8:48 pm

Scatty i do the same i keep doing the countdown....1...2...3....SAY IT.....never happens!:S

That is excatly my problem princess puddin, which is why im worried about the letter idea, i want it to just sort of happen instead of making a big deal out of it, i would love to say oh by the way getting my boobs done its booked so thats that, end of story but he owes me some money which i will need back... its just a mess .... theres another sleepless night coming my way by the looks of things xx

by zebra1984 14th November 2012, 8:55 pm

My parents were fine, luckily! Very supportive!

Hope it all goes well for you... it's not like you're telling him you're an axe murderer or anything! He will prolly be shocked and not understanding why you are doing it etc but he will come round and support you I bet! Good luck chick, I bet it'll all go OK and you'll be wondering why you were worrying so much xx

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 9:11 pm

Glad you had such supportive parents zebra, i know what you mean, it will happen with or without his support and i know he wont disown me or anything lol but it will be a shock so im gonna just have to grow a pair a tell him asap!! xx

by Nicole 14th November 2012, 9:13 pm

let us know how it goes hun, we're all here for you

did you get your finance sorted? I think i remember you were having a few issues? xxx

by snowy51 14th November 2012, 9:21 pm

Hope all goes well for you rockyk - you may even be pleasantly surprised by your dads reaction! x

by jakki32 14th November 2012, 9:28 pm

My Dad doesn't know. And I know he wouldn't wanna know,, old fashionedin that respect. Does he have to know? I am not for lying, but could you and your mum just not tell him?

by rockyk12 14th November 2012, 9:35 pm

Thank you snowy, i hope so :D

I will do newboobz thank you, I have to tell my dad to sort my finances lol, i lent him the money a while ago got most back now but need the rest to book, otherwise i would have everything booked and ready o go then he really couldn't argue so if i can just do it i can get the ball rolling! :D

I still live at home jakki so couldnt not tell him, not really his business but when im under his roof n all that lol If i wasn't living at home i wouldnt tell him cuz he would never ever notice!! I know it doesnt sound it but we are really close its just this issue!!

You all are fab on here, seriously get more support on here than i do from family and friends! group hug

Thank You

by mais04 15th November 2012, 7:49 am

hope you get to book soon x

by rockyk12 15th November 2012, 9:59 am

Hi girls, update: i was stressin last night about it all and tellin my mum i was freakin out about it all, i just got a txt from my mum about 5 mins ago sayin " i have told him and he is fine with it" i accually cant believe it, thank god im not in college till later today because i am a blubbering mess! Thank you all for your help it really did give me the confidence to tell him, glad i dont have to now right enough!
yipee

by mais04 15th November 2012, 10:03 am

Ah brilliant! So pleased for you! It can all go ahead now xx

by snowy51 15th November 2012, 11:36 am

Great news rocky! Even when we think we know someone close to us so well, they often do turn around and surprise us! Now get to college!! Lol! x

by **mrsball** 15th November 2012, 11:37 am

so pleased for you hunny, now you can really get excited about it without stressing . Xx

by jakki32 15th November 2012, 12:20 pm

Ah, pleased for you Rocky xxx yipee

by rockyk12 15th November 2012, 4:59 pm

YEEEEEY so excited lol, thank you everyone!! Hug

snowy, safe to say it was the best day at college iv ever had lol
xx

by Scatty247 15th November 2012, 7:23 pm

well happy for ya must be a relief x x

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