Telling Mum .... Please help!

I am soooooo scared to tell my mum. We have a family business and I work very closely with my parents all week. We are a very close family and every second I spend alone with my mum I feel like I am lying by just not telling her. She is NOT going to support me on this and will see it as very vein. She will also think I am very selfish to take the time off work and then not be able to be physically involved in my job for weeks to follow. I feel guilty because they will have to pay our part time staff for hours I normally work & they will have to pick up the slack of me having a week off.
I understand this from their point of view but at the same time - I have always wanted this. I am 27 years old and do not want to put this off any longer.
If anyone has any advice for me in this situation I would appreciate it beyond words.

Thanks again, Elle.

You might be surprised how she will take it. At the end of the day we all want our children to be happy and confident adults. So tell her the truth about how you feel about your body, about how miserable and lacking in confidence it is making you. Just be upfront about it.
Would she make you feel guilty for taking a week off work because you were ill, they would have to manage in those circumstances and this is just the same.
Good luck hunnie
xx

I agree with Carol you must speak to your mom, and guess what, your mom will already sense that you are not really happy and if you tell her, it could be a relief for her as she maybe thinking she is upsetting you, when in fact she is the innocent party.

Hi hun - I had same problem - v close to my mum & very worried about telling her as I know she doesn't approve - has previously said she cant understand why people would want to put silicone in their body.

I told her once I had booked my surgery- said that I needed to tell her something, that I had been unhappy with my breasts since 2 children/breastfeeding etc, had been thinking of this for ages and finally decided to go ahead wtih BA surgery. I said I knew she didn't necessarily approve but that I had thought about it a lot and had decided to go ahead & have the procedure (ie I wasn't needing to get her permision/approval, but wanted her to know). Initially after I told her the first line, I got a very disappointed "oh", but once I explained how I felt & how long I had been thinking iof it, she said "I've only ever wanted what's best for you & if it that important then of course I will support you". I was worried about my dad knowing - she said she would tell him & did - his reaction was simply that he was sad for me that I felt bad enough about my shape to need to go ahead for surgery. Since then they have been hugely supportive, even had a general admiring session recently when I was off to a party & they were babystiitin - ie look - aren't they lovely - which dad said - oh yes...very weird, but lovely & supportive!!

For me telling my mum was a MAJOR stress & I really had to grit my teeth & do it - & her reaction was just fantastic (which when I think about her & how close we are, really doens't surprise me) - I suppose I just couldn't see this before hand.

Re your family business - I think you should say you are flexible to plan the surgery around a suitable time at work - but if you are entitled (I presume) to take holiday for the surgery- this is what I had to do at work - take holiday but plan it at a quieter time to minimise the impact on the business. Above all, personally I think you should have already had a consultation somewhere before you tell her so she can see how absolutely serious you are, that you have started your BA journey & she doesn't end up talking you out of it.

Good luck - let us know how you get on! xxx

hiya!

i had the exact same problem hun.. my mum is a very traditional irish catholic woman and although i had been complaining aboout my boobs for yearssss she still didnt want me to have surgery! i told her over and over again i was going to have it done and she kept sayin she wasn't going to support me and she didnt want to be a part of any of it.... so i just said look im booking it, i wouldnt spend nearly 5grand for something that i wasnt sure about!! lol....
so my mum didnt want to know until after i had the surgery.... i waited about 5 days after surgery (i dont live with her) and i finally spilled the beans, i was absolutely terrified that she would go mental but she was just soooo relieved that i was okay and that it had all gone well! i think with mums they are just so worried that something will go wrong, or that you wont be happy with the end result and then u cant go back! but the surgeons are so amazing these days and the procedure runs so smoothly she rele has nothing to worry about!!
obviously because you work together you probably wont be able to get away with not telling her until after, but my advice would be to maybe print off some rele good supporting info for the procedure and show her!? show her how many people have it done without complications etc, and maybe that will put her mind at rest!!?? she just doesnt want her baby to be in pain unnecessarily at the end of the day!! bless her, just think if it was one of ur children, im sure you'd react the same way! i'd be suprised if many mothers entertained the idea initially!! lol....think it definitely takes some persuasion and getting used to!!!
good luck hun, let us know how it goes! i hope my story has helped a bit xxxxxxx

Hiya, i know exactly how u feel with this. I decided not to tell my parents in the end, i was so so worried about anouncing that i'm having a BA. Was more worried about telling them than having the op itself! I know they wouldn't approve, they would be disgusted with me and i just cant bare the embarassment. I'm nt that close to my mum, dont talk about personal stuff. They would also think i am selfish for nt working for a few weeks. I'm going to tell them i had a horse riding accident and have broken a rib. I feel awful that i'm going to lie but i cant see any other way. I felt so relieved when i decided not to tell them. Sounds like you are closer to your mum though, like the other girls have said she will prob just want you to be happy. But if you dont want her to know she doesn't have to x x

Aww hun, what a shame for you to be going through this. I think perhaps if you didn't work with her you'd be able to get away with not telling her, as you could try and disguise it a bit, and I'm always surprised at the amount of girls on here who say that people haven't noticed.... but I suppose there's no avoiding it if you're at work. Do you still get annual holiday that you could book?

I'm sorry not to have any good advice for you but I agree with what the other girls have said. My Mother in law thinks that boob jobs are a selfish and disgusting waste of money, and I'm far too much of a coward to tell her what I'm doing. If you are very close though, maybe your mum will be able to see it from your point of view and once she knows you're safe I'm sure she will be fine.

Whenever I've tried to explain it to my OH (who doesn't get it) I've always said imagine how self-conscious you would feel if you had a big hairy wart on the end of your nose! It might not make sense to him that my boobs make me feel that way, but at least he can relate to the level of self-consciousness I experience.

Good luck hun!!

LL
x

Well Girls... I told Mum tonight. She was beyond supportive and her reaction was the complete opposite of what I would ever expect. It's crazy! She said that she understand I am my own person and I am an adult. She said she respects my courage to do this, which made me tear up immediately. She said that I will make choices that she wouldn't necessarily make for me but she will always support me and love me.
Thank you so much for all of your advice. It gave me a ton of courage.

x0x0, Elle

ah thats lovely , glad you got such a good response x

Aww Elle, I'm really pleased that you plucked up enough courage to tell her and that you got a loving and supportive reaction back. You can now look forward to your operation without any niggling doubts in the back of your mind regarding your mother knowing
xx

Glad ou got such a great response. My mom didnt support me at first, but now has came around... shes even watching my 2 year old while my husband bring me to get it done because i have to stay overnight.. and get there the night before because its far away... my dad is 100% supportive bc his wife also had it done,... and my husbands parents are the only ones still in the dark... we dont know what theyll think..... its in 3 days... hopefully im wrong about themlike you were about your mom

I have told my mum, and all I got back was "you're mad"!!!! But I think she will be generally supportive, although I think she may well tell me that it is my own fault if I tell her I'm in pain after the op!!!

But we haven't told hubby's mum, and we won't either. She hates me, and I don't mean I think she doesn't like me, I mean she actually hates me. She wont let me in the house and she won't have our kids without my hubby being there because she "won't do anything to help [me] out" since hubby and I had a big blip end of last year and had a trial separation. We figure that she will just moan like stink if she finds out, but as I don't see her any more then she just doesn't need to know as it isn't like she will notice a difference!!