Telling the parents!?!?!

Ok, I know i'm 25 but I still live with my parents at the moment and I have had a brief chat with my mother about a BA and got her thoughts about the whole thing (not best pleased.)

I booked my 1st consultation today for 2 weeks time but am really concerned about what she will say. Anyone else had this experience who can give me tips to break her gently.

I know that the 'money' situation will come up and am going to have to tell them that i'm looking into a loan to pay for some of it.

I'm a right wuss and worried about what they will say.

Any help is really appreciated

Jem x

Hi hun,

I totally understand ow difficult it is telling your parents, even when you don't live at home - I'm 32 and we live in two different countries but I still dreaded it... I had brought up the subject of BA in the past so they new how unhappy I was about my breasts but every time I tried to talk about it I was always met with contempt.
Eventually though, I made up my mind and I knew that no one was going to interfer with my decision, so I told them with the confidence that whether they liked it or not, and whether they approved of the way I spent my money or not, I was still going to go ahead. And you know what? At first they were against it and thought I was crazy, but seeing that I was so sure of what I was doing, they started to try and understand and listened to my reasons and in the end they even came to help me when my op was due! Your parents usually want you to be happy so no matter how shocked they might be, eventually they'll come round, especially if you make sure they understand your reasons. Lots of people takeout a loan to pay for cosmetic surgery, you are not taking out so much money that you will never be able to repay it!
I don't know what your relationship with your parents is but I'd try not to worry too much, my suggestion would be to tell them that there is something you have decided to do that is really important for your happiness, that you have really thought about it for a long time and have come to the conclusion that you need to do it and you hope to have their support. Then tell them you want to have BA and that you know there are a lot of prejudices against cosmetic surgery but that you have valid reasons to go through with it and tell them what they are.
You'll find that they will be more worried about your health and the safety of the procedure than about money, so try to reassure them on that.
Good luck and let me know how you get on.

Hi moonmar

Thanks for the reply. I asked my dad earlier about a loan from him (obv didn't say what for) so assumed he knew what I was asking to borrow the money for. lol.

Just asked my mum if she said anything to him about what we briefly chatted about and she didn't.

She asked me the dreaded question ..."are you seriously thinking about it?" So i just replied calmly ..."yes"

Well low and behold all she said was ...."you know it's going to hurt and you know you don't like pain" You could have knocked me off my feet quite easily with that reaction! She obviously said that dad wouldn't loan me the money for bigger boobs but that's not a problem. The hospital offer 0% finance. woohoo!!!!

Well done hun! parents really tend to be more reasonable than we think! obviously your parents just worry about you, it's understandable if your dad doesn't want to lend you the moeny himself as he must be worried that you are doing the wrong thing, but both of them will be delighted when they see how happy it makes you!
And you can tell your mum that there is discomfort but, really, it doesn't hurt that much, some people are in pain for a few days but I have rarely heard anyone saying they were in agony, they do give you really strong painkillers. Most people say it hurts much less than they expected. I only had a little pain at the very beginning and then some chest tightness so I couldn't move very well, but it got better day by day, and I had partial unders which are supposed to be painful. Nothing unbearable hun, so don't worry about that.

It's not the pain that is bothering me so much ... no pain, no gain!

My worst fear is the GA! Got a major phobia about being put under and it don't help that I just watched Holby City and they said the guy could feel pain whilst under!!!!! lol

Just replied to your post but for some reason when I pressed send it seems to have disappeared in cyberspace! So here goes again...

I am going through this right now - told my mum last week, she was really trying to persuade me out of it, saying well you only stopped breast-feeding a year ago, wait a bit longer and they'll probably grow back...!!

I told her about a friend who's had it done without any complications or much pain which reassured her a bit, but she said "You're all mad"..I think she was a bit shocked to be honest.

Families, eh. Think they'll come round in the end, and if they don't, well it's a really personal decision that isn't theirs at the end of the day. I think if you explain the reasons well, and that you've researched it carefully, I'm sure they'll support you.

Good luck!

xx

I loved my GA, best sleep ever!

Congrats for telling your parents. I was worried about telling mu parents. My mum said she wished she could have had it done when she was my age!

I was stunned!

RoxyChick wrote:I loved my GA, best sleep ever!

So funny!!! Let's hope I feel the same way

x

Jemmy wrote:She asked me the dreaded question ..."are you seriously thinking about it?" So i just replied calmly ..."yes"

Well low and behold all she said was ...."you know it's going to hurt and you know you don't like pain"

Wow she sounds like my mum! She was suddenly a boob job expert saying how it would hurt and i wouldnt be able to use my arms, i was thinking 'how the hell does she know that?!'
Good on you for telling her anyway, my mum was weird about the whole thing and i didnt tell my dad, wasnt comfortable telling him. I'm with Roxy, the GA was fab, loved it! One scratch and your drifting into a lovely sleep xxx

I have had 3 GAs in my life and no complications, you just go to sleep straight away and when you wake up you think you just fell asleep 2 seconds before! you feel very tired for a bit but it soon passes xxxx

moonmar wrote:I have had 3 GAs in my life and no complications, you just go to sleep straight away and when you wake up you think you just fell asleep 2 seconds before! you feel very tired for a bit but it soon passes xxxx

My boyfriend had a GA for when he had all his wisdom teeth taken out and he said the same thing about feeling it was 2 seconds ago that you fell asleep.

Well ... there's only 1 way to find out!

I am 21 and had my BA & rhinoplasty when i was 20. I had been going on about it since i was 15 to my mum so it was no big surprise to her, she thought i would grow out of the idea but of course i didnt and she just let me go ahead with it. I told my dad when id booked and he was fine with it..
The GA is weird and the needle hurt but its quick and your soon awake again x

Well would you believe it, after all the talking about GA's last night and watching Holby City ... what did I dream about? Yup you guessed it!

A dream exactly like it happened on Holby last night! Blimmin typical! Least I haven't woken up too freaked out :lol:

i just told my mum not my dad my mum encouraged me to go as big as i could as its such alot of money to pay she was right i would of regretted t if i went any smaller she was cool and very supportive my dad knows now and hes fine to
xx

Lol mums are funny.... you are worrying and imagining they will freak out and try to make you go smaller just in case the surgeon ruins their beautiful baby, but my mum was the same, I didn't go big but I had to choose between 2 sizes, one smaller, one a bit bigger ,and she made me go for the bigger one! And now she thinks I would have got away with going even bigger. Mums eh!

Hey Jemmy

I chose not to tell my mum as I'd mentioned in passing that I was thinking about it and she told me I was stupid!!!

Anyway, a couple of days after having it done she guessed, and was really lovely and supportive about it, and even said that she would have considered it if it was safer when she was younger. (She's 64 now!!)

Anyway, basically what I'm trying to say is they probably react badly because they're worried about you, but when they know you're certain, that changes to support.

maria
xx

Hey girls!

Well my mum finally knows and knows I'm being serious as I'm looking to get a loan to help pay for the surgery. She's told me she won't lend me the money as she doesn't want me to gave it done due to the dangers.

I totally understand her feelings, I'm sure she's just worried as her only daughter will be having surgery for no medical reasons.

Atleast a weight is off my shoulders and I can go next week with a clear conscience. LOL

Well done lovely, at least she knows now and you have have the weight off your shoulders.

xx

Well done hun, I understand why your mum worries but she will change her mind once everything has gone smoothly and when she sees how happy you are. Best of luck xxxxx

Jemmy wrote:Hey girls!

Well my mum finally knows and knows I'm being serious as I'm looking to get a loan to help pay for the surgery. She's told me she won't lend me the money as she doesn't want me to gave it done due to the dangers.

I totally understand her feelings, I'm sure she's just worried as her only daughter will be having surgery for no medical reasons.

Atleast a weight is off my shoulders and I can go next week with a clear conscience. LOL

Thats great news hun, now you can concentrate on getting completely boobie obsessed!! xxx

I am boobie obsessed. I ain't had a good nights sleep on over a week cos all i've been thinking about is

It's the last thing I think of at night, first thing in the morning and all the bits inbetween.

Just wan next week to come around so I can try some implants on.

X

Only 4 days to go and it's weird but I'm a lot more comfortable about talking about boob job n I even made a joke about having big boobies like Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter.

My mums face was a picture!!

Her boobs are mahoosive!!!

I know. Can you imagine carrying them around I'd have to put them in a trolley

natalia wrote:i just told my mum not my dad

I just told my mum at first as well. I was so nervous about telling either of my parents, I thought they would flip!! She wasn't thrilled about it because she's a bit worrier so immediately started worrying about all the potential risks and everything but ultimately she supports me in my decision and it wasn't a big shock as I had mentioned the issue so many times I think she knew I would actually eventually have it done myself. I left it to mum to tell dad which was the best way really and since I live at uni he had a few weeks to come round to the idea before I actually came back home :lol: It's much better that they know about it because at first I wasn't going to tell them until afterwards but think that would have caused a lot more hassle as they would be really upset. Definately one less thing to worry about, not having to keep it secret xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx