Looking after baby

Hi girls,
I know i have posted before but i really am in a pickle about this. DH runs his own business so there is no way he can have time off, he finishes at lunchtimes most days though. My dad works full time, my MIL is sooooo busy & v hard to pin her down for just even 1 day, my FIL & my mum both passed away years ago. MY BIL is busy building his new house (desp to finish for xmas) my brother lives in Thailand! SIL busy at work too & if not at work she has 2 children to look after. So.........are there any girls that have had to manage with their babies??? there must be surely?? I honestly do not have anyone that can come & care for my baby till DH gets home from work.

thanks

Hi Stephy... I'm sure there are girls that took a risk looking after their baby, I think someone actually posted a story about their friend and the troubles she had....

What you also need to consider when making your decision is you not only put yourself at risk, lifting baby and generally doing too much after surgery, but you also put your child at risk also... what if you fell asleep? you WILL be extremely tired... what if you injured yourself trying to lift your baby and couldn't hold on to the little one!...


The possible consequences I have to say would be enough for me to either wait till the little one was older or until I could arrange childcare whilst hubby was at work....

Sorry, I know this really isn't what you want to hear babe, but it's not only your saftey at risk here, but that of your baby too.... xxx

There are many girls here who looked after their little ones post BA, but you will find that a few had problems.
My two are 5 & 6 so they're quite independant and it wasn't too much of an issue for me.
Have you thought about using a childminder or day nursery for the mornings until your OH gets back? Even if it's just for your first week while you get back on your feet.

I'd agree with LouLou hun. I'm a single parent and my parents looked after my ds who is 4 for a week after my ba. There's no way I'd have been able to cope on my own even for the mornings. Like Cookie said you will be shattered from the GA and meds and could be putting your kids at risk as well as yourself. Sorry lovely xx

I agree with the above. Seriously, I found lifting a kettle half filled with water was much too much in the first week, so can you imagine if your poor little one needed picking up, you tried and hurt yourself? Ripped open a stitch? Or worse, hurt your baby?

I would never advise surgery without having childcare covered for at least one week post op. Like has been said you really feel out of it for the first week on account of GA and meds, and your body trying to heal.

If there's no family, can you arrange a babysitter/childminder for the mornings at least?

xx

yes i agree with everyone else, even tho my daughter is five im still going to be staying with my mum at her house so she can look after my daughter and me,then when i feel a bit better ill be going back to my place whilst my mum still looks after my daughter at hers.theres no way id look after her on my own straight after the op just incase something happend,im sure you will figure something out soon hun, good luck xx

Hi hun,

It was my friend that had problems with healin as she had a 4 month old babe & no one to help her. She had to lift ,feed do everything from the moment she got back home as her OH couldnt take any time off work to help & her mother lived over 3 hours away. She said it was the worst thing she ever done, she though she could manage with the babe as she was a prem baby & was only 4 months old ( born 3 months early at 24 weeks!) so she was tiny but all the lifting she done ripped the ends off her stitches back open, she was in agony & had to get into see her surgon who was not impressed with her at all!!!!! He told her that because she had not rested & was lifting the babe from day 1 she had done real damage to her scar as it had torn the stichin & she also got a infection so ended up with a like extra whole at the end off her scar where it had torn & didnt heal.

He said outright that she had to go stay with her mother for at least 2 weeks with NO lifting the babe to give her body time to heal so thats what she did.

She now has a extra bit on her scar but bless her she was really great with me & just said what ever you do Dont lift ya baby for at least the 1st 2 weeks as you can do some bad damage to the surgury site.

I have 4 kids two are 9 , one is 5 & my 18 month old & im telling you there is not a hope in hell i could have looked after them & 100 percent coulndt lift my little one! I started to lift her at 2 weeks post op just into bed & out off her bed & it was agony................

OMG Sta what an awful story. I'm glad your friend is ok now but definitely goes to show you really can't chance it x

hi iv posted before as i only had childminders for the 2days post op and im a single mum with a 4yr old and a 2yr old i tried to take it easy as much as i could i avoided picking my children up for atleast the first week but changing his nappy was even difficult as i had to lift his legs up(with him kicking everywhere), i dont know if its related but my scar around my nipple hasnt fused together leaveing a gapping hole which the surgeon needs to re stitch next week . i coped with the 2 children it was hard but i dont think i would be able to do it with a 4month old unfortunatly. can you pay a nanny person to came to your house for a week so you can over see things, i know its costly but theres not many other options babe

I No im full of them! LOL

Dont get me wrong she is fine now but she told me afterwoods that she didnt really realise that you can do damage but like i pionted out to her it tells you & the surgon tells you not to lift anything for the 1st 2 weeks so she new she was in the wrong he also told her it was 'self inflicted' injury so he didnt have to help her out you have to be so careful..................

Hi hun. My hubby didn't have much time off when I had my ba last week so I had to look after my 3 year old daughter, including taking her back n forth to pre school in her pushchair. I must say I have done more than I should've and have ended up staying in bed this morning while hubby had the morning off to clean the house. I am soooooo tired and my boobs are very sore. What I am saying is that I didn't realise how all the little things like stretching up to the cupboards, putting toys away etc, has upset my body. As most of the girls on here will tell you, you have to give yourself time to heal and rest.

Sorry if I sound negative hun, but you do need to look after yourself xxx