Re: Telling other people...

by **mrsball** 30th November 2012, 5:41 pm

That's a good idea Hun, I'm sure their first thought would t be you want be be a glamour model and you'd be surprised just how well some parents take the news or are actaully supportive.

The way I see it is your doing a positive thing for yourself and it will ultimately make you feel good, be happy , more confident etc. you're not hurting anyone else, your not doing anything bad. It's about you and your feelings.

I think parents will always worry no matter what , that's what a parents does ! But if you tell her you're going into it informed with your eyes wide open and would just appreciate her being there for you she might be more understanding than you thought.

I think you're fearing the worst and thinking about. All the negative aspects and
Perceptions people think. That's where you could actaully change their perception of a ba and turn it into a positive thing. X

by goldilockz1984 30th November 2012, 5:55 pm

Thank you Mrs Ball xxx
I agree, I am thinking the worst and perhaps the response I get will be a lot more positive than I assume. Yes, I am doing this for vanity/ cosmetic reasons obviously, but at the end of the day, it's psychological and anything that improves someone's self-esteem surely has to be supported, whether or not you agree with it. I know that my own perception of a BA has changed since I started doing my research and it's all coming together now. Since I had the consultation this morning, I have very strongly felt that this is the path I want to be on. I thought maybe it'd make me think twice but it has solidified my desire to have a BA. Will write another post letting you all know how my consultation went xx

by Scatty247 30th November 2012, 6:08 pm

You must tell someone I didn't tell my parents and by the time I wanted to I had left it too late. This made me lie to them about why I wasn't answering the phone and where I was. I felt awful about this by the way. Then when I got home 2 days later I ended up being rushed to hospital as my pulse was only 60 bpm bp was low I was very poorly and my OH had to bring along the baby. It hit me that god forbid if anything had of happened to me my parents would of been horrified that they knew nothing and my OH would of taken the guilt. I have other health problems that played a part but what I'm trying to say is please have people closest to you knowing what you are doing just in case. I'm still trying to tell mine now but know they will be more upset that I didn't tell them than actually coming to terms with what I had done !!
Xxx

by **mrsball** 30th November 2012, 6:15 pm

That's ok Hun Hug

We all have our reasons for having a ba and maybe show your mum the site and she can see its women from all walks of life young and older having Bas and not to be glamour models!!!
It is your happiness shed be supporting. And as for being gossip again I think your assuming the worst and that you'd be talked about etc. however I'm sure that wouldn't be the case.
It's not uncommon now for women to have Bas I know a few people that have had a ba. I suppose if they've never encountered it or Even known anyone that's had one, it's ignornace that plays a big part in their perception.

When it comes to the crunch though I'm sure your mum would help you and she'd then have a better understanding of Bas. Xx

by goldilockz1984 30th November 2012, 6:28 pm

Oh God Scatty, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. To be honest, your reply was a kick in the proverbial nuts for me, I did consider that I might want to tell my mum later on and by then, it might be too late or at least a whole lot more difficult than before your BA. Please don't be too hard on yourself though. Perhaps you could explain to your parents that you felt like it was the right idea not to tell them previously but you have since changed your mind? I think it's a very reasonable thing to say. I would hate to have to lie to my mum. I think I'm going to write her an email explaining how I feel and that I felt reluctant to tell her. Even if her response isn't ideal, at least that's one less thing to worry about. Thanks hun xxx

by Cazzyxo 30th November 2012, 6:31 pm

Goldilocks I think that's a sensible idea hun. At least you know one way or another & I'm sure wether she approves or not she wouldn't see you go it alone xox

by goldilockz1984 30th November 2012, 6:32 pm

mrsball wrote:That's ok Hun
We all have our reasons for having a ba and maybe show your mum the site and she can see its women from all walks of life young and older having Bas and not to be glamour models!!!
It is your happiness shed be supporting. And as for being gossip again I think your assuming the worst and that you'd be talked about etc. however I'm sure that wouldn't be the case.
It's not uncommon now for women to have Bas I know a few people that have had a ba. I suppose if they've never encountered it or Even known anyone that's had one, it's ignornace that plays a big part in their perception.

When it comes to the crunch though I'm sure your mum would help you and she'd then have a better understanding of Bas. Xx

I totally agree and yes, I will show her this site because everyone is so lovely, kind and intelligent, I think nowadays your breasts contribute a lot to your body image and if you're not happy with yours, it can affect so many aspects of your life. I was lucky enough to have had a partner who loved my body the way it was, but now I'm single again, I can't imagine ever being comfortable stripping off in front of someone so that has really given me a shove towards going for it. My mum is an understanding and lovely person, and I'm sure if I told her there is no way I can be talked out of this, she would give me her support, even if she doesn't understand where I'm coming from xxx

by sparkyleeds 30th November 2012, 6:35 pm

I think thats a good idea goldilockz!,at least then its upto your mum to decide if she will help you out when you have had your ba! I would have a fit if my daughter who is nearly 30 had a ba without telling me !! Hope the email helps! xxx

by Scatty247 30th November 2012, 6:35 pm

I agree didn't want to scare you but stop anyone making the same mistake as I have it's awful living the lie. The worst she can do is be angry but at least if you need her all those feelings will go and she'll be there, it may even come with a told you so but you will be so glad of the support you won't care he he xxx

by mandyjs 30th November 2012, 8:33 pm

Hi honey, I've not read this whole thread as I'm just grabbing 5 mins online while watching my little one have a bath!
My mum wasn't very pleased to start with but not telling her wasn't an option! I went through everything with her and now she is absolutely fine and is even taking some time off work to help me post op.
I showed my mum the Mybreast website and there are some clips on YouTube of mr withey and she is very impressed, that may be an idea? Or even taking her to your next consultation?
So... Anyway how did it go? Can't wait to hear? X

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