Man problems :(

My boyfriend has been absolutely fantastic in my recovery and looking after me and for that I am really pleased and thankful.
I have been having a fairly painful time, lots of aches and pains but tried earlier to introduce some us time , thinking after this time he might need some relief. He point blank refused and said get used to it, not going to happen for a long time, until I am fixed. I'm not sure if he's gone off me or he's simply scared of hurting me more?
It made me feel crap as there's been no kissing or cuddling since my op and I am longing for contact, he's not a big talker and he gets moody if I go on about things.
I don't know how long to wait until sex is safe for us and gentle I think would be ok, just wondering if its natural for your man to be hesitant after the op or if its just mine and if he's not keen now of the new additions.
I've always been self conscious and hoped having this would help my confidence, now I feel upset with it all :(

Seeing you after having major surgery and so uncomfortable afterwards hun does really scare some guys and they get quite scared of our boobs!

I wouldn't be fearful of your guy going off you or anything hun, he's just concerned and doesn't want to hurt you. Gentle coaxing on your part might help but it sounds like you may have to tread very gently at first..

You're fine to have sex when YOU feel ready babe. I found leaving my bra on early post-op made it more comfortable for me. When you feel ready, guiding his hands to your new boobs and showing him how much pressure is OK might help show him they aren't going to break. This is what I did babe.

He'll come round soon enough hun. It's only because he cares so much about you that he's behaving in this way. Xx

I agree Cookie x he just cares and is worried about hurting you . I have only just 2 days ago had adult time, I was clutching them like Gold Bullion, hardly sexy ! My husband was worried! Said it was like going back to after having kids. give him some time, and please don't get down Emily xxx

Thanks girls, I'm concerned for him and me, I don't want him to feel scared but also know he has needs and want him to like the new me!! Will have to tread carefully and hope he comes round soon xx
Thanks so much xxx

When did you have your BA?x

There are more ways to skin a cat Emily x sorry if it sounds a bit blunt x so just take it slow , it will all work out . I will never understand men!

I'm sure some gentle 'coaxing' will change his mind

He's probably terrified of hurting you hun xx

I agree with the girls, I'm sure he's just scared of hurting you, my man was similar, just take things slowly Emily, I'm sure things will return to normal.
Try not to feel down about it.

Thanks again everyone , I am extra paranoid I think as back in June there was a hint of an affair and at that point he had gone off sex then too...
He won't even kiss or cuddle me at the mo, let alone finding any way to be close, I am sure it is just him not wanting to hurt me but it sadly may also be his get out clause :( xx . Boob job has given me happiness but guess it was never going to be a relationship bandage ...
Sorry as know this isn't ba related ... Cx

Aww hun, can't imagine how you are feeling right now

Can you talk to him about your concens?xx

Tried to, it made him get the hump and say I was being paranoid and doing his head in, he has the ability to turn it all back on me and my personal insecurities.
Pretty sure what I had to go through back in June would make anyone be insecure, we have always been pretty active in the bedroom department apart from then and of course now. It's his lack of any kissing or just cuddles that's most concerning, I can understand him not wanting to hurt me but just stopping all affection is what's hurting me the most.
Feel like I've got so much to deal with right now with out upsetting myself over all that again. :( x

We ain't having much fun at the moment are we Emily?
I think it's just the shock at everything, frightened of hurting you etc, try not to get paranoid Hun . Have had similar times trust me x I hope this fab new you is making you happy x I cleared the air tonight with mine, and he is stern and arrogant, but I had to do it, all building up . Maybe have a chat ? I am sure you will sort this xxxxx

Yeah I would defo talk to him again and be strong, explain u are feeling rather crap and he as your partner should be making you feel better ad alleviating any of your concerns! If you have been through a tough time with him then you are entitled to feel upset and he should be reassuring you, not being stubborn and selfish by burying his head in the sand! Xx