Mens reactions to BA's

I was wondering what some of your experiences have been when it comes to your bf's/husbands/partners etc reaction to BA's? I know Sarahlou posted on this recently, but my bf said something that annoyed me a bit last night so wanted to bring it up again!

He's really not taken much interest in the whole thing since I told him I'd booked. Up until then he'd been very negative about the whole thing, trying to talk me out of it etc. When I told him I'd booked, he went quiet and kinda just said 'ok'. I feel like I can't share my excitement, nerves etc with him at all. He never asks me about it and if I bring it up I can tell he feels a bit weird about it all. 

We were joking around last night and the issue of sex came up. I said we'd still be able to do it, it'll just be when I feel up to it and we'd have to take it verryy steady haha. I then reminded him I'd be in a 'sexy' Macom for 3 months anyway so he wouldn't be able to get his hands on them!

What upset me, is I said something like 'Just wait till I'm 3 months PO and they're all mine. They are going to look GREAT!' and he said 'Hmm, we'll see'.



I said 'That's not very nice!' and then he quickly sent all these texts ( I think he realised how he had come across) saying 'I just don't know what to expect! This is all new to me, I don't know anything about it. I just cant imagine you suddenly having them and them just being there'.
First I thought, ok, a little selfish, making this all about YOU, never mind ME...
Then I thought, you don't know what to expect because you haven't ASKED or shown ANY interest...
And then I thought, why does he refer to it as 'them', like they'll be some ENTITY that's not mine hanging off me lol!

What annoys me the most, is I know when I'm 3 months PO, Bra on, Bikini on, with these lovely new boobs he'll be ALL OVER ME like a 13 year old boy! But if he's not going to be supportive in the healing process I'll be quite upset   

Have you guys had any similar experiences with men? xx

Aah Blush89 I'm sorry to hear that. My husband is supporting me but I know he's sick of hearing about it! I don't think they understand how significant this is to us. I have wanted this for as long as I can remember so the fact I'm actually finally doing it now is a massive deal to me! 
Like your boyfriend, I know he will be desperate to get his hands on them but I also think he's a bit jealous. Like getting them is going to change me and make me run off with another man! He's not said that, he wouldn't dare (!)but it's just a feeling I keep getting from him.
I also don't think they quite understand what a big operation it is and to be honest I was totally underestimating the recovery process before hearing everyone's stories on here so I hope they look after us for a long as we need it...then they will reap the rewards!! Xx

Sorry to hear thus blush, do you think he has a few insecuritys? Perhaps he has visions of you looking more gorgeous and he feels a bit Insecure? Xx

Thanks girls.
It's funny you say that about jealousy, as I do think in the back of his mind he is worried about how other men are going to look at me etc. He hasn't said, but I too get that vibe sometimes. I try and reassure him and make him feel special by saying things like 'wait till I have my new underwear to show you!' and 'We'll look great together on hols!' but it does hurt when he says things like 'hmmm maybe'

I just couldn't believe he managed to turn what is a HUGE deal for me, a operation and a life changing thing to have happen to me, to something about him 'I just don't know what to expect/think/say about this'. Typical men only ever thinking of their own poor selves!! xx

Hey Blush, sorry you don't feel you're getting the support you'd like just now. I don't think it's anything to worry about though. I agree with the other ladies, I think some of what he's feeling will be insecurities and wondering why you want them so bad. 
I think men find it difficult to understand when it comes to boobs. They don't get that you're doing it for you alone and no other reason.
Yes, some women do have breast surgery for all the wrong reasons, but nobody knows you better than your partner so he should understand and know you're not doing it to get attention or anything else. 

I'm lucky that my partner has known me for 20 years and always knew I'd have implants one day. He's been amazing but also had lots of time to get used to it. 

Try talking about all the great times you're going to have when you've recovered. I'm sure he just needs reassured that everything will still be the same after, only you'll be much happier within yourself! Xx

He's worried , new boobs new you. Must be worrying for the partners , I would feel the same if I was a man but he MUST support you ! You will need it

@[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Thanks hun. Yeah I'm trying not to worry about it, and I think you are totally right. It's just the difference I suppose of how lovely my housemates have been, how great and supportive my mum is being but my own boyfriend is giving me the least support of all. He just doesn't ask about it, and when it does get bought up he comes across confused and very awkward about the whole thing, then ends up saying the wrong thing which I take to heart (like us women do!).

It's interesting when you say your partners had a lot longer to get used to it. I think that might be a little of the problem with my bf. We've only been together just over a year, and after mentioning it a couple of times I think he was in genuine shock when I booked my consultation then went ahead and booked!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Yeah I see what you mean actually. I guess if he was getting something that would make him more confident and (let's face it) more attention I would be worried too. That's interesting as I'd never thought of it that way before.

Thanks ladies, you are the best xx

For any ladies having a rough time trying to explain things to their other half, ask them their thoughts on this one:

How many men do you think would be rushing to a surgeon if their d**k shrank everytime they fathered a child or lots certain amounts of weight? My guess is way more than would care to admit!

Blacksparkledstarr wrote:For any ladies having a rough time trying to explain things to their other half, ask them their thoughts on this one:

How many men do you think would be rushing to a surgeon if their d**k shrank everytime they fathered a child or lots certain amounts of weight? My guess is way more than would care to admit!

Lol, glad that made you smile Blush:giveu:

I love it!! Has cheered me up no end!! xx

You'd be suprised to know that likely, he's terrified. One, you're volunteering to put yourself under the knife. All the fears about the op and GA, he's likely twice as scared. Two, he thinks you're going to look different. Three, that in turn obviously means you're going to be a totally different person, super confident, drop dead gorgeous, with all the attention and instantly ditch him. And how do men cope? By shutting down! Talk to him, ask him what's up, ask him if he has any questions, and just talk it out. He'll open up eventually

Agree with charli. I think it's a natural response. Especially for perhaps someone who's not totally secure in a relationship and we see lots of ladies say exactly the same. Talk it out and try to see it from his side. If you don't agree with his feelings try to accept them, at the end of the day we can't control how actions make someone feel. But you can try and put him at ease. Once he understands your reasons for doing it and realises your not going to start a new life as a glamour model I'm sure you'll have his support x

My partner was ok before ba, then when I had them he turned into a ar@@hole. He didn't support me and couldn't handle it, I turned round and told him exactly how I was feeling. He apologised and since then has been fine. 
Tell him how you feel, and if want to talk about boobs talk to us hun. It's your body and you can do what you want with it, he'll soon won't be able to keep his hands off you. If you ever want to talk we are all here hun x x x

Hahahaha [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] !! Brilliant!! Xx

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I think you’re right. Aside from the ‘unknown’ and probably being a bit confused/concerned about it all I think he’s worried I might turn into some sort of glamour model. Yet when I showed him the pics in the sizers he seemed really interested/impressed with how proportionate and great they looked! I’m just very lucky to have found this forum to chat to you ladies, I think he is happy to keep his head buried in the sand until further notice!! Thanks though hun xx
 
 
@[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Thanks for your message. Yeah I think we do just need to have more of a chat about it, I just don’t like bringing it up because of how he reacts. He pretty much just sits there and squirms if it’s anything regarding sports bra’s, soreness, pain etc and it’s only until I talk about the end results his ears seem to stick up! But even then, I think he worries I’ll be walking round like Jordan or something! Interesting to hear you’ve seen lots of other ladies say the same, so it’s nice to know it’s not just me stuck with one of these sort of blokes haha!
 
 

@[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] That’s interesting what you say about how he reacted AFTER surgery. My mums had her boobs done and we had a bit of a girly chat about it last weekend. I asked what Dad was like about the whole thing and it really surprised me to hear he was a bit of a ar**hole too! (Sorry dad!) Apparently as soon as they got home he went to work and just kind of left her and she really struggled. I think men just shut off a bit because they don’t know how to handle it, especially when they think we’ve bought this pain on ourselves. I will definitely be using this forum as my main source of boob info/advice/general chat haha! Xx
 

Thanks ladies xxx

Just before the surgery, ok the night before.. A actually asked me:

'How is it done?'
'What size will you actually be?'
'Will they be hard to start with?'
'How long will you be in sports bra?'
'How does the different sizes work?'

My first question was, 'Do you really want to know?' lol.

Then I sat down with me and explained it all, told him all about different projections, width sizes etc.. told him how I wont know my size but explained why... and he actually goes 'I get it now, I understand the look your going for, and why you chose your surgeon'
He even watched a youtube video of it all.

He was a lot more understanding of why I wanted the surgery once we had this chat and understood why I had done so much research and come on here :) .. I know your boy friend hasn't actually come out with these questions BUT maybe really he doesn't want to understand what's going on more?

A is so happy for me.. and although he was always supporting my decision he seems more comfortable with it, if that makes sense.

I really hope your boy friend comes around to supporting you better!
xx

It's interesting he waited right until the last moment to ask. I imagine that's what my bf will do!

I know what you're saying. I deliberately haven't gone into detail about the firmness/soreness/nitty gritty of it all and just tried to give him the facts. I deliberately chose to go home and recover there for 2 weeks because I didnt want him worrying and seeing me all sore lol! But saying that, I'll be pretty pi**ed if he doesnt check in on me regularly!!
xxx

It may be it was the only chance he got.
We only see each other at the weekend, and if I go home my mum and dad are around all the time or his.
So he's only at mine every 2-3 weeks. 

3 years together and yet we still only see each other at the weekend! Maybe this year things will change  x