Do i or dont i??

ladies,

ive been wanting a boob job since my teens and have always been talked out of it by my mum.

ive never really had a proper chat with my mum about having it done so she doesnt actually know how i feel.

i have my first consultation on 9th Feb which i am really looking forward to but i want my mum there but dont feel as if i can talk to her. My mum has alot on her mind, my brother was dianosed with bowel cancer aged 31 in Nov ( they say they removed it all but hes currently going through chemo) and i dont want to feel selfish and her to worry about me. Can i get away with not telling her?

Finally any tips on what to expect/things to say at my first consultation?

As a mother myself I would want my daughter to speak to me. I know you don't want to burden her at this time (so sorry about you're brother) but it would probably hurt her more if you don't speak to her.

Im so very sorry to read about your brother Jess

As much as your mum cares about your brother lovely, she also cares about you and if you have the kind of relationship were you can talk to one another and you WANT your mum to know then you might be quite surprised at her reaction babe. No matter what, whether she agrees with cosmetic surgery or not for you, you're her daughter and her love for you won't change just because you're having a BA lovely and I'm sure your brother too would wish you the best and want you to be happy, because this is what this surgery is all about isn't it Jess..making YOU happy and there's no mother on this on earth that doesn't want to see their child happy hun.

On the flip side, if you want to keep this to yourself... Well, you're 20 years old hun. Its entirely up you who you wish to tell, don't feel guilty about not discussing this if its something you would rather keep to yourself. You're and adult yourself now babe and you're entitled to make you're own choices, but if you're living at home you may find it very difficult to hide.

The only way you'd get away with not telling your mum would be to stay at a friends house for a week to 10 days, just till you're over the worst, then you'll be able to disguise your BA with baggy tops and things.

Many women here have chosen not to tell their parents, I chose not to tell mine for my second and third op and they're non the wiser hun. So if you want to keep this to yourself, its very possible lovely and can be done xx

hi lovely

why dont you go alone to the consultations that way you can concentrate and ask all the questions you want and then discuss it with your mum when you get home xx

Hey :)

Thanks for your replies. and thank god my brother is over the worst (we believe)

Luckily Cookie i live with my boyfriend so that wouldnt be much of a problem.

My parents have always been quite strick and i know exactly what they will say and talk me out of it/ say i cant afford it etc.

I think im only going to a Full D maybe DD depending what it looks like on my frame (im a b now and size 6/8 top size)

The only thing is if i go ahead in the next few months it will be summer and i cant wear jumpers etc to cover up haha :)

Might go to the consultation and go from there.

xx

Hi hun. I think i'm in quite a similar situation to you actually. I'm 21 and my dad is suffering badly from illnesses atm and my mum is his carer so I understand the burden thing.

I was uhming & ahhing about wether or not to tell my mum but eventually I figured that if I went ahead and got it done without telling her she'd be more upset because what if anything happened etc? In the end I guess fate decided that one for me because she accidentally opened a letter for me from a cosmetic company thinking it was for my dad (we have the same initials) and she questioned me and I told her I was looking into surgery and she said 'at the end of the day it's your body, you're an adult just make sure you're safe and do the research'

I've been to consultations on my own or with my other half and my other half will be the one coming to the hospital with me on the day of the op. I haven't told her yet that I've gone ahead and booked (i'm a wimp) but will be telling her soon. Our parents worry about us a lot and I think that's the main reason they may react badly. I know my mum isn't a fan of cosmetic surgery but I don't want her approval I just want her to know what i'm doing as i'm sure she'd be more hurt if i went and did this behind her back

xx

Baggy T-shirts are great as well as vests with scarves draped over your bust. Its very possible to disguise babe, especially as you live with your boyfriend.

Its all about what YOU want babe, don't worry about anyone else, this is YOUR choice. You have plenty of time anyway to think on whether you wish to tell her or not, so give it some thought Jess and do what feels right for yourself babe. Xx

Hi Hun, for me personally I couldn't hide anything from my mum. We have a great relationship and I'm lucky she's been supportive.
I feel I'd rather tell her before I have it done rather than have to admit it after , not only that even though she may not agree with it I'm sure she'd rather know before hand than feel hurt as to you not telling her before, that's just from my perspective being a mother .

I think if she's quite not clued up regards Bas , taking her to a consulation might make things a bit clearer for her also. And may understand a bit more x
Shell want to be there for you no matter what x

I feel i am old enough to make my own decisions but i would like her support but i just know she wont no matter what i say they were so dissappointed when i moved out and stopped talking to me for a week or too.

Well ive got this first consultation then the one with the surgeon so if i dont buck up the guts to tell her on the first one theres always the next step.

xx

I didnt have support from my parents when I had my first BA Jess, they never wanted anything to do with my BA, but our relationship didnt change, we just don't discuss it lol.

If you want to tell you mum Jess, just tell her babe. You've nothing to lose, you're going to have your BA anyway no matter her reaction and she may very well surprise you! Good or bad it seems like 'you'll' feel better having this surgery if you do tell your mum lovely.

If it works out OK, then great, you'll have the support you want and your mum will be there for you.

If your mums isn't happy, she may not talk to you for a week if that's how she deals with things just needing time to herself to sort the situation out in her own head, she may not support you through your surgery, but your boyfriend will! You won't be alone babe... But your mum WILL still love you and she'll get over it Jess.

I dealt with my parents by just respecting their opinion. They have a right to disagree with cosmetic surgery just as much as I have a right to have it if I choose, so let your mum have her say babe, maybe ask her to come with you to a consultation so you can take in the information herself and know you're safe.

Best to just get it out of the way really babe... A cuppa and a cake and hand it to gently sweetie. Remember, she's your mum and her first instinct will be to protect you, that's not because she's being horrible hun. Its because you mean the world to her and as grown as you are you'll always be your mums baby. Xx

its soooo hard

well ive got a week so we'll see if i get the guts haha

well aleast one person wants me to get them done ... my boyfriend!! and me of course

x

Just don't put pressure on yourself Jess. Remember you're doing this for yourself and its YOUR choice whether or not you want to tell you mum.

We're here if you need any support babe. Xx

Its a hard decision hun that only you can make, id love to tell my mum but she'd tell me im wasting money that could be spent elsewhere...on my house or upgrade my car etc and tbh i don't want the stress of having to justify myself to her, i don't need stress before the op so i've kept it to myself. Besides as much as i love my mum she's too busy running round for my other sisters to even bother taking 5 mins out for me to sit and talk to her.
Anyway it's your decision and if its something you really want then you don't need someone trying to persuade you not to do it. You're doing this for you and to make you feel better, go to the consultations...(id take someone with you as there's so much info that its easy to forget the questions you want to ask) and see how you feel about it then. You could always tell her once you've booked as its pretty final then x

Hi jess, im sorry to hear about your brother and you finding it hard to talk to your mum. Tbh i was nervous about telling my mum and dad but when i told them they reacted by laughing and saying good luck make sure your going to a reputable company.
KOnce you've told your mum you might be surprise on her reaction and it will feel like a whole ton of bricks have been lifted off your shoulders.. I really think you should tell rather than having it done and not saying a word. If one of my daughters wanted surgery and she got it done without my knowledge id be upset at the fact she kept a huge op from me, ops carry risks so im sure your mum would want to know. If you don't want to tell your mum face to face why don't you give her a call? hope it all works out for you and you make your dream a reality x