Feeling Upset

Hi Lovelies,

Feeling really emotional and needed to let if out...

My OH just casually told me that he's probably working away from the 4th Dec for 11 days; my op is on the 13th December which means he won't be there for me when i get back . I was a little put out when he didn't say he would come with me in the first place (my friend who's had the procedure herself is coming instead which is probably a good thing) but now he won't be there when I return/ when he said he would take care of me.... I'm just so sad that I never seem to be someone's priority! I personally would want to be by my mans bedside the moment he opened his eyes, to make sure he was ok so he knew i was there for him, so I guess I find it hard to understand why he wouldn't want to do the same :( .

Sorry.... Reading this back I sound so silly and winey as I know he thinks the world of me I guess its partly because its my time of the month and maybe pre boobie blues if there's such a thing!! Lol :shrug

Xxx

Chin up sweetie.... You have us :)

Boys do work like we do.... He probably doesn't realise it is upsetting you.... Maybe try and talk to him, explain how you feel. These men don't get us girlies and sometimes they need to be told the right things to say and do.

Whatever happens though your going to have amazing boobies sooner thane ;)

Hugs xxx

Aww lovely, I'm sorry you're upset. That's no good. You don't sound whiney at all, I would feel exactly the same (probably with a touch more rage though!) if I was in your shoes. I'm assuming your OH isn't aware of how you feel so you have to let him know. It might not change anything but there's no use in keeping it to yourself if you're upset. As Lucy says, you have us: you'll find tremendous support here, I already have and I've been here a week! That's great your friend will be with you too but really, you must let your OH know how you feel. Chances are he'll apologise and if not, you have so much support here xxx

Lisa, sending you a big hug . Most men do not think the way we do , its not their faults its the way they are made. Like the other girls have said , he probably does nt even realise!! Does he have to go or would he lose money if he didnt? If thats the case he will see it as providing for his family. You have us , chin up hun xx

I'd be really hurt, upset and angry I don't think you sound whiny at all xx

I would tell him and if he didn't change a. his attitude and b. his arrangements then that would speak volumes to me xx

I don't think I would be able to forgive my OH don't mean to be negative hun, but also don't like it when people get treated badly by the people that love them xx

Let us know how you get on xx

Oh poor you Lisa. Completely understand you being upset and the ladies are right - men are just completely different species to us! So, as you know he thinks the world of you and is not just being a tw**, what you need to do is look at the positives - first, if it is for work, he may have had no option - as 2tlucky said (and lets face it, with the current economic climate, it's not wise to turn down any work!). Second, you have your friend so you are not going to be alone and third, just think of the lovely new additions he is going to come back to!! You can send him pictures in your funny theatre outfit!

Don't let this get you down. I know it's hard, but these things happen and because we ladies are much, much more resilient than men, we take it in our stride!! Don't let this put a damper on your excitement! ;)) x

I think it's normal to want your boyfriend with you and I'd be upset to but they always seem to make it up in some way in the end and I bet even if your boyfriend can't make it with you right now that he makes up for it when he can do especially when he sees your new boobs and I'm sending a hug to and I hope you're feeling better today

Love Maisy x

Oh I'd be upset too :( at least you have your friend to come with you. He's a man, he probably didn't think (they usually don't). Hope your feeling better about it soon,, I'm sure all the nerves and emotions about BA are probably making it worse xxx

Please don't think you sound silly Lisa that couldn't be further from the truth. I think your being upset is very justified hun and any one of us in your position would be just as upset too I should think.

Have you spoken with your OH about how you're feeling babe? If he said he'd be there to take care of you then I think it's wrong for him to then make other arrangements when he was committed to you.

I hope he has a change of heart lovely. I know what you mean about wanting him there. I stayed with my sister after my last recovery and although she was very kind and lovely it just wasn't the same as having cuddles with my OH.

Big hugs for you gorgeous xx

Awww thank you all soo much for your kind words and being there for me!!

Feeling better this morning, realised what you all said was right.... that he is just being a man and they don't really think about how something will effect us. Think he thinks I'm a real tough cookie but deep down im not really!

We don't live together yet so he txt to say he hates hearing me upset (cried when he said he was going away) and that I'm his world and he loves me more then anything, which I know is true. So I replied telling him that I know he does love me and that I was upset through disappointment, that I need him then more then I ever have and couldn't believe that he wouldn't be there or me. He said he felt so bad and that he would never want to disappointment me, bless him..... Felt a little guilty but I needed to tell him why I was so upset.

Not sure what will happen now, don't think it's mandatory for him to go away but nice to get the extra money that's why he goes. I'm hoping that he will be able to come back sooner to be there for me as he's not going abroad this time only about 3 hour away. Surely they wouldn't him come home early for his GF having an OP.
Anyway I have you lovely ladies to be there for me anyway, and I appreciate that so much

Apologies for typos on my phone and typing quick as at work xxx

I completely understand how you feel, and agree with the girls that he should not have committed to you and then pulled out. However, I just have to point out, did you say he'd be working? Is it possible that his boss has thrust this assignment of working away from home upon him and he didn't have much of a choice? I just want to play devil's advocate here. I'm not saying he shouldn't have said he needed to be home for you, but I just know some of my friends husbands travel for work and they don't have much of a choice of when they go, they just get sent.

Hope you're feeling better hunni

xxxxx

ali

So good to read you're feeling a little better Lian and it sounds like your OH may be feeling pretty bad now, so lets hope he makes good and can be there for you now. Xx

I'm sorry your upset chick there could be a few factors at play here tho, like others have said maybe work have made him, maybe he's getting extra money in to treat you or quite simply, maybe he's just trying to give you your space to make arrangements instead of getting under your feet with things? It may even be that the thought of you going into surgery makes him uneasy and seeing as he knows you have a friend there with you, doesn't want to stress you by seeing him a bit queezy? I'd just ask him tho, obviously you have a good relationship with him to say that he thinks the world of you have a sit down and natter through it and don't forget that we're all here for you too x x x x