Partners freaking out

I know alot of us girls have to deal with concerned partners pre and post op but generally they are at least interested in the actual result right?

Mine is being a complete d**k about it and hasnt even asked for a look (!). Like literally seems freaked out and even turned off by the whole thing. its sosososo not helping my preexisting doubts and boobie blues :-(

xxx

Men are selfish, what happens to you is always about them, their fear, their uncertainty and their insecurity

He'll come round as they heal babes, he wont be able to resist, just give him time. Lots of men go through the same, mine did, I just guided him very gently holding his hands and guiding him, showing him how much pressure was acceptable and it was OK after that, so much so I had to tell him to calm down more often than not.

Cookie you're the best. Your responses are always so helpful for all the girls on here. i hope things work out for me as they did for you on this front though! xx

I'm sure all will be just fine babe xx

My Husband has help look after the kids but as for my self esteem he has been useless! I think they get a little nervous when we start to try and upgrade our bodies. I am sure he will learn to love them just give him time

Some men are just big scaredy cats and won't admit it!

I hope he comes around to loving the new you xx

awww hun all normal men are strange creatures lol! xx

My husband was just the same. He was even reluctant to help out immediately after.

But.....I have to say, 3 months on.....he loves 'em!

my husband isnt keen on my gettin ba but he said if it makes me happy itll make him happy but he doesnt like plastic surgery in general - im abit worried whether he will like them but im doing it for me so i kind of dont care haha

willows wrote:my husband isnt keen on my gettin ba but he said if it makes me happy itll make him happy but he doesnt like plastic surgery in general - im abit worried whether he will like them but im doing it for me so i kind of dont care haha

i like your attitude!!!!!

starsfade wrote:I know alot of us girls have to deal with concerned partners pre and post op but generally they are at least interested in the actual result right?

Mine is being a complete d**k about it and hasnt even asked for a look (!). Like literally seems freaked out and even turned off by the whole thing. its sosososo not helping my preexisting doubts and boobie blues :-(

xxx

my boyf wasnt bothered at all, n still isnt really...he is just not a boobie man!!

yeah my husbands a bum guy but i dont need implants there so im ok as far as hes concerned lol

Maybe he's just scared. If he shows too much interest you'll think he hated your pre-op self. Also, maybe he if looks he might want to play and he could be worried about hurting you. God - I sound like a man. These are just some of the things my husband told me. He's just wanted to know what was the right thing to do.
Good luck and I am sure that if you love them he will too. X

my husband laughs everytime he sees me naked with the new boobies lol he says he just cant get used to them been so big. but this makes me smile as im happy that they are so big they make him chuckle lol



men are hard work

My Husband was exactly the same starsfade! I almost felt like he was scared of them!!!! I was really upset that he wasn't as excited as me. So I decided to sit down with him and talk it out and find out what is problem was and it turned out that he felt a bit threatened bless him! He was scared of all the attention they were going to get me on girly nights out etc. I felt so sorry for him! I assured him that this was purely for me and that I wasn't interested in attention from other men bless him! I am now 19 days post op and he just seems to be coming round to the idea of me having them and them being for us and nobody else

Thanks for all the lovely (and funny) responses ladies....I think once I've healed and got my mojo back I'll maybe be confidant enough to flaunt them a bit....just at the moment I feel they are all cut up and sore and gross and I feel vulnerable so am maybe projecting on to my partner too...

NewGirl you and your hubby sound adorable. I'm glad to hear he likes them being just for you and nobody else :-)

I think anyone with a significant other could relate to this situation. I don't think it's fair if your partner is outright mean, but, I can definitely empathise with the other side in this instance.



If your partner all of a sudden made a drastic aesthetic change to his appearance it would no doubt stir up emotions within yourself as well.



I think communication is the key, make him feel like this is a change for the both of you and give him time. If you approach the situation head on and ask him if it makes him feel insecure he will freak out and close up even more. Just offer tonnes of positive reinforcement and keep communicating the confidence boost it has given you in general day to day life.



I think they struggle to understand that we don't do it to get attention from other men, but we do it to feel complete, like a woman.



He will come round, stay patient and let him know you need him during this healing time, involve him as much as you can and above all keep loving him, no matter what his fuzzy and scatty male brain is making him do!!



xxoo

My fiance was exactly the same, didn't ask for a look or anythin! Then when I actually asked him why he said it was because i'd been goin on about them bein sensitive & i'd told him he better not go anywhere near them haha. Once they were healed & I was a bit more confident with them he had a good look & was very impressed! xx

great advice BKOZ! And i think i may have said the same Nyssa lol

I am really feeling more positive now and look forward to what lies ahead for these boobies of mine! Thanks ladies xxxx

my boyf read this over myu shoulder n was offended that i thought he wasnt bothered!!!
shows how much we think we know!

he said he didnt want to give thm attention cos he was scared of hurting me!!! awwwww

MEN! Give him time, I'm sure he'll love them! Otherwse just ask him what he thinks. They're fairly simple creatures (hence the reason they don't get hints!) and would probably appreciate the fact you asked!

I just wanted to let you girls know that I had a mini breakthrough in this department last night!

I'm so happy and excited and relieved!

Was in the bathroom about to take a pic for my avatar on here (batteries ran out so I couldnt boo but will do tomorrow eve) so had on a nice normal bra in a 32D and was admireing myself in it; thinking how much better I looked and felt with the swelling going down etc....My other half was in the living room watching TV so i decided to peek around the door and say 'just thought I'd come in to give you a quick flash of my boobs in a normal bra, What do you think?' he immediately nodded in approval and i could tell that he was genuinely holding back more enthusiasm (eek! yay!). he just said 'very nice. yeah.' and I turned and walked out but he stared at me as i left. he had a twinkle in his eye that I have missed these past few weeks.

i went back into the loo and felt SO happy and relieved. i whispered to myself; 'he really likes them!' and continued admireing these new babies. i got ready for bed and put on my support vest (no bra) and passed by him to get some water and he was literally jumping off his seat and doing a funny ape impression in a kinda silly flirty way like he was gonna attack me :-) then he came right over and gently and playfully touched them (might I add that this is the first time since the op he has shown ANY interest!) and said 'they are just different!'.

Success. Relief. Happiness.

Thanks girls for your understanding and support and sharing your own experiences...I definitely kept the advice in mind in my approach to this matter - especially about acting like they are 'ours' and something we'll discover together...also Roxy i prob wld have never actually said 'What do you think?' to hime (obvious as it seems now as a way to get a response lol) and that worked! They really are simple puppies sometimes eh? men!

im glad hes coming round. That must have been a worry at first.

oh hun dont worry, im sure that when they have completely healed he'll love them

yay so pleased for you.

Are you sure you're a 32D? I only ask as I have been measured in 3 different shops now and I am definitely a 32D, every single bra they put me in ina 32D fit perfectly although the lady in John Lewis did make me feel a bit rubbish by saying I was very small :0( xx