Consult was OK but feeling low now...

Hi guys,

Consult at MYA in London went OK today (tube journey was easy peasy!) But I have left feeling a bit down. I went all shy when I got there and couldn't think of one question of the top of my head! Luckily I had them all written down :) I have booked in to see Mr Adamo at MYA on May 7th.

When I got out, my boyfriend called me and told me he'd told his mum! I'm really upset! Basically I just said "I would never tell MY mum if you were having penis surgery!" I feel there's been a breach of trust! His mum is totally against it and doesn't understand why I want it. And the only reason she can come to is that it's a confidence thing (which it is) and that I'm doing it so I have have more men leering down my top and go off with another man! Totally ridiculous!

I feel like I can't look her in the eye now. I don't know why but it has made me feel a bit embarrassed? Like she shouldn't even know about it because it's a personal thing? I'm very annoyed.

I'm really low because everyone seems to be against me! the only person who isn't judging is my best friend, and even she doesn't really agree with having cosmetic surgery. Sorry for the long post guys, and sorry to depress you all with my tale of woe!

Jess xx

Oh hun I know how you feel, the first consultation I had I was so nervous that I didn't really ask anything, just sat there agreeing with everything the woman said! But it doesn't matter, as long as you ask your surgeon all you want, the PC wouldn't have told you much anyway.
Your bf shouldn't have told his mum without asking you first, maybe he did it because he was the one who needed reassurance?
Don't feel let down hun, just always remember that you are doing this for yourself...

Thanks moonmar. He doesn't really have an opinion about it? I keep asking "Do you think I should or shouldn't?" and he keeps saying "I honestly don't have an opinion, do what makes you happy!" The thing is though, I know he is a total boob man and loves big boobs, he's always making comments about girls with big boobs on the telly and stuff, so he must really want me to do it.

On a lighter note, didn't you have Mr Adamo at MYA? What did you think of him? xx

hi there hunnie.sorry you're feeling low. when i was considering getting a BA my hubby also said that he didn't have an opinion+he told his best mate-completely did my head in(still feel weirdly shy arround him!?) it was only afterwards that my hubby said that he had only told me he had no opinion so that the only reason i would go through with it would be for myself(not cause he likes big boobs!) and he told his mate cause he was realy worried about the GA and me not waking up,so he needed someone to talk to! hope you feel better soon sweetie

Jessica wrote:Thanks moonmar. He doesn't really have an opinion about it? I keep asking "Do you think I should or shouldn't?" and he keeps saying "I honestly don't have an opinion, do what makes you happy!" The thing is though, I know he is a total boob man and loves big boobs, he's always making comments about girls with big boobs on the telly and stuff, so he must really want me to do it.

On a lighter note, didn't you have Mr Adamo at MYA? What did you think of him? xx

I did have mr Adamo and I think he is great, he listens to what you want and at the same time explains what he thinks is best for you and why, plus he is a really nice man who has a relaxing attitude so there is no way you can feel nervous. At least this is my experience and he did a good job with me - if Iwent back i'd be happy to have him again. Good luck with your consultation xxxx

Hey Jess,

I had similar problems with my boyfriends mum, she also thinks I am having it done because I want to get my boobs out for other men which is so untrue. To be honest it really didnt bother me at all, I know that I have wanted this done since I was in my teens, I always said that if by the time I was 21 my boobs hadnt grown then I would have surgery. Remember you are doing this for your own reasons and you shouldnt let anyones opinions or judgements sway you unless it effects your health of course which in your case it doesnt hun.

Keep doing your research and look forward to meeting your surgeon. Take it on the chin what others say, you are pursuing this for you, nobody else!!! Please dont feel like your on your own hunni, all the girls on here are so lovely so whenever you feel low log in and have a good ol moan to us lol All the girls are so supportive so dont ever feel like your on your own!!!

&**&^& what others think just think about how you will feel after the surgery!!! This should be an exciting time for us where we are finding out more about the procedure and meeting different surgeons dont let anybody spoil it for you hun

Dani xxxx

Thanks for all the support guys. It's just so hard to stay focused when everyone else in the "real" world is talking you down and telling you you are being stupid! You guys are the only people who really understand.xx

wantsomeboobs wrote:Hey Jess,

Keep doing your research and look forward to meeting your surgeon. Take it on the chin what others say, you are pursuing this for you, nobody else!!! Please dont feel like your on your own hunni, all the girls on here are so lovely so whenever you feel low log in and have a good ol moan to us lol All the girls are so supportive so dont ever feel like your on your own!!!

&**&^& what others think just think about how you will feel after the surgery!!! This should be an exciting time for us where we are finding out more about the procedure and meeting different surgeons dont let anybody spoil it for you hun

Dani xxxx

I second this 100% hunni, we are here any time you feel down xxxx

Keep smiling hun and think positive if we went through life not doing the things we wanted to do because of the lack of support from others then we would all live very sad lives. Do what makes you happy..

Let us all know how you get on when you see Mr Adamo, good luck hun xxx

Aw Jessica can I give you a great big ? I agree you/we do have to be aware about the real world we have to live in outside of this forum and the people that truly matter to us. However, if I may say, If one of my children told me this about their partner, I would be asking them if they had the others permission to discuss with me ? if not then STOP. It is not anyones business. I can imagine how you must feel, I have two son's with lovely girls in their lives, who I have a great relationship with, I beleive it is something they would feel able to discuss with me as a friend, nothing to do with my sons, and my relationship with all of them is based on trust. If they did not feel able /want to discuss with me then that's o.k. and not for me to offer silly judgements.

You, sound a very sensible thoughtful young women and I am sure you will find the strentgh and confidence to make the right choice for you. I truly wish you well in your decision making, and who's business it is. xx

HIya Jess,
Sorry to hear your feelin low, you need to remeber that you are doing this for you and no one else!! No one elses opinion matters, if you feel unhappy and you need to do something to change how you feel and having a ba is what you want then so be it. People are sooo quick to judge and they think they know the reason that you wanna have bigger boobs like wanting men lear at your chest etc but this is sooooo not the case in majority of womans reasons for having them. Having people against your decision doesnt make you change your mind, it just makes the actual doing it even harder, you cant expect everyone to agree with you as they're entitled to their opinion but if they dont have anything positive to say tell them to keep it to themselves, its a massive decision in the first place u dont need other peoples disapproval!! I say do what makes you happy.
My OH and his parents were totally against me getting mine and it was a constant battle, even to the point where i couldnt even bring the subject up without it causing a fight, i needed his support so much and he couldnt put his judgement aside to give me it so i went it alone!!! And im sooo glad I did!!!
Sorry for the long post it just frustrates me when people make you feel low or sad when in fact they no nothing about it!!!
Sending you hugs, xxx

Sorry about your bf telling his mum hun, hope you're feeling a bit better today. At least you wont have to break it to her or worry about her noticing after your BA now (trying to look at positives!) but he had no right to tell her at all. Hope your consult with the surgeon goes well xxx

Hi hun,

I can imagine how angry you are feeling about it all. I was really shy about talking about my boobs to anyone, even my OH, it took so much courage to tell him i wanted a boob job. But after looking into it, booking it, looking at all the lovely underwear i can buy, i started to feel more confident, and the closer the operation came the more confident i got and i wanted to tell everyone. So i know you are feeling uncomfortable about seeing his mom, but it will get better.

If i was you i would sit down calmly and talk to him about it, ask him why he told his mom? And explain how much of a hard thing this is for you, and you need to be able to tell people in your own time - if you want to tell them at all.

We are all here for you, and you must remember people don't understand why we have boob jobs because they havn't had to live their lives flat chested, i bet if your best mate had no boobs she would soon understand. Its about having more confidence in yourself and feeling like a woman. I don't see what is wrong with that.

xxx

jess did you ask about the anti-triptyline tablets yesterday by any chance hun? I never got to see my surgeon yest was just wondering if you had any info about them from your pc xx

Hi guys, thank you so much for all your support. I was supposed to go over to my bf's last night but I just said no way, I can't face his mum just yet! The most hurtful thing was that she said to him "I thought Jess was more intelligent than that," or something. Like because I want to boost my self-esteem and actually do something about my boobs instead of moaning about them all the time that I'm a less intelligent person? And she also said "I thought you'd finally met a sensible girl after all these years..." I can't tell you how angry I am! She is very set in her ways and blunt, and her opinion is her opinion and once she's got one there's no changing it. My bf says I should just go over there and have it out with her as it's better to have it all in the open and argue my case a bit than let it fester. I think he might be right but honestly, arguing with her is like wasting breath, I've witnessed it with my OH hundreds of times, she doesn't listen to anything!

OH says he didn't realize it was such a big deal, but did apologize to me last night which is better.

(Oh Dani, I did ask about the tablets but my PC said it would be best to discuss it with the surgeon. I put it on my medical sheet though so I will ask him in May.)

Thanks again guys, I know I'd feel so much worse about this right now if I hadn't found this site. xxxxxx

aww at lest your boyfriend apologized maybe he told his mum because he felt he needed someone to talk to about it, maybe he has his own concerns deep down. Just remember it is your decision and nobody should make you feel down about it, it doesnt make you any less of a person, your simply doing something that makes you happy, how wrong is that?? although I understand that it may cause you to feel a little awkward next time you see your boyfriends mum. Maybe sit down with her and explain how unhappy you are about it and your reasons for wanting to go through with it hun.

Anyhow enough waffling, I am seeing my surgeon next wed and will let you know if he says anything about the tablets hun.

Think positive

hugs xxx

em_stevo wrote:. Having people against your decision doesnt make you change your mind, it just makes the actual doing it even harder

This is so true! Why do people constantly feel they can put barriers up against your happiness? It doesn't make a difference to they way we feel or change our minds, just makes it worse. I wish some negative people would just let us get on with it! xx

Hey Jessica, so sorry you are feeling low but if it makes you feel better i also had Mr Adamo two weeks ago and he is really lovely and very kind and so far i am really pleased with my boobies. as for others opinions, what the girls on here say is right, you are doing this for yourself, and altho it wud be nice to have support from people close to you there will always be someone who thinks they know what is best for you and insist on giving their opinion. As long as you are happy with your decision then try to ignore others negative comments, they probably have their own agenda! If you need to ask anythig about MYA and Mr a or wanna see some pics please let me know sweetie. Hugs Jo x

Hi Jessica

Hope you are feeling a bit better now. I'm going through the same. Only person who is supporting me is my OH and I've finally realised me having a BA is a big thing for him aswell.

We'll all get through this together.

X x

Jessica wrote:Thanks for all the support guys. It's just so hard to stay focused when everyone else in the "real" world is talking you down and telling you you are being stupid! You guys are the only people who really understand.xx

That was my main motivation for starting this site. People were very judgemental with me and I didn't know anyone else who had the surgery, so I know how important it is to just chat about boobs!

try not to worry about it too much, some people are just against surgery. Don't let one persons opinion get you down, you know why you want to do this, and if you have the right reasons then you should go ahead despite what others think

xx

Thanks loads for all your support guys, I do feel a lot better about it now. I sort of had a light bulb moment where I was like "How come I'm letting this person make me feel so bad?" And then it just went out of my head. I really don't care what she thinks, and she can say what she likes cos I'm still the same person with or without boobs, I just want them! And I can spend my money on whatever the hell I want! xxx

You go girl Soo pleased you are feeling more confident.. wait till you are xx Be good to you!!

Jessica wrote:And I can spend my money on whatever the hell I want!

RIGHT!!!

Hey Hun,

I have my consultation with dr adamo tomo in london and im pretty nervous and ive gotta get there by tube and scared that i will get lost!
I totally understand about having ba coz its a personal thing when i first told my boyfriend he was like `why do u want it done so u can impress other boys!` and i was like no! i just want to be happy with myself and have confidence again! and then when i told my mum she was ok about it but then my sister has been moaning at me and trying to persuade my mum its a bad thing so i just said to the both of them its my money my body and my choice so they have both accepted it and will support me! xxx