feeling dishonest about keeping secret?

by red77 29th March 2010, 9:54 am

Hello

My op is now booked for 2 weeks time. Anyway my worry at the moment is that Ive only told my mum and partner as i feel too embarassed to tell my friends. Although im only having small implants im pretty sure they will notice as i would notice if any of them had implants. I'm not sure whats holding me back from telling them i think the main thing being that i dont want to be talked about as i know women do talk and ive never talked about my breasts before! So i now feel im living a bit of a lie?

I'm worried if i dont tell them before i will feel really self conscious after? Anyway just wondering if anyone else has had this problem?

by **COOKIE** 29th March 2010, 10:22 am

If you're not comfortable discussing your BA with your friends red, then don't feel you have to hun. Your breasts aren't an open topic for discussion and it's entirely up to you who you feel comfortable discussing such a 'personal' experience with.

I haven't told very many about my BA either, I know they know I've had it done from the little remarks some have made, but none have approached me directly and to be honest, I don't feel it's their business that they should ask, nor that I should feel compelled to share.

This is something you're doing for you red. If you want to tell your friends, then do. But if not... don't! But whatever your decision, be proud of yourself. You've made a massive life changing decison to improve your life! - Enjoy it red! xxx

by JoanneR85 29th March 2010, 11:00 am

I have to agree if you feel like you don't want to share then thats entirely up to you. Very few people know that I am planning on having a BA. It's not something I really want to discuss.

by red77 29th March 2010, 11:36 am

thanks girls, i know it isnt anyone else's business it just feels a bit weird to have such a huge thing going on in my life that im not sharing with anyone else. I think i will tell a couple of my closest just after the op when hopefully there have been no complications and i look natural! x

by alfie 29th March 2010, 12:14 pm

Hiya Red, I know exactly how you feel because I didn't tell any of my family, the only people that know are my hubby, 1 close friend and my boss.

I'm in my forties and I was too afraid to tell my family incase they thought I was vain, silly that isn't it. My eldest son is away at university and I know he would have been asking 'Why am I putting myself through an operation that's not for health reasons.' So I just say to myself 'what they don't know about can't harm them'

Nobody has noticed becasue I used to wear padded bras before, so when I'm dressed I don't really look different.

So if you don't want people to know, don't tell them, it's your body, your choice.

xxx

by tizzyt 29th March 2010, 12:22 pm

Hi hun,please don't worry yourself uneccesarily,i only told my partner and one friend.I have not even told my parents and nobody has said anything to me!I only had smallish implants and to be honest i dont look any different to when i wore a padded bra pre op so nobody has made any comments.Just try and relax and if people notice post op,you can always tell them you're wearing a new super boost bra!.All the best x

by Funkygirl 29th March 2010, 12:33 pm

Like the girls have said you shouldn't feel like you have to tell people if you don't feel comfortable, it's your decision and tbh no ones business but yours.

I only told my mum and OH and no one else knows, that was a choice that I made.I don't think anyone will ask me to my face tbh, but if they do I will deal with that accordingly.If I don't feel comfortable sharing such a private thing with others thats's my decision and people should respect that.

Your not being dishonest at all hun, everyone has the right not to share if they don't wish to.Don't be too hard on yourself hun.

x x

by annefinackapan 29th March 2010, 12:35 pm

I really understand how you feel. I havent told all my friends and felt dishonest at first like you, almost like I didnt trust them (which I do) but I also felt it was a vey personal issue and so just kept it to myself. You might feel different once its all done now I am used to my new body I dont care who knows so if it came upin the future I'll happily tell them my new bigger boobs arent padding anymore but are from the 'chop shop'!

xx

by kate1977 29th March 2010, 1:42 pm

Hi I only told my husband, 1 friend, my dad and mother in law (as she was babysitting the kids!) It is entirely up to you who you tell and even if they do notice you haven't done anything wrong hun !! Just enjoy your boobs and worry about the people who matter....most of all yourself xxx

by red77 29th March 2010, 1:51 pm

thanks girls, its really reassurring to know that others didnt tell lots of people. I know of a few girls from school that have had huge implants and published it to the world on facebook and i guess i dont want to be seen like that?! I know that sounds harsh but im doing it more for confidence than vanity.

Anyway your all right i dont have to tell anyone. I shall try and worry about something else now ......... feeling dishonest about keeping secret? 184153

feeling dishonest about keeping secret? 184153

by Starz-10 30th March 2010, 12:59 pm

I'm glad I have found this post because I feel exactly the same way! I feel dishonest too by not telling all of my friends and my family what I am planning to do but the other girls are right and reading this post has just made me feel better about not telling everyone!

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