Emotional wreck at 11 days post BA!

Hello. I am 11 days post revisional BA and am an emotional wreck! I don't remember being emotional after my first BA I only remember being excited. However this time I am obsessed with my recovery, scouring the internet for advice on every pain, twinge or feeling. I had my second BA due to rotation problems with one of my original anatomical implants and have instead moved to round responsive unders.
Anyway, I know I'm only early in recovery but every little pain I get I panic I have CC or something. My left breast muscle is much tighter than my right at the moment and also slightly higher and I think its unnerving me. They tingle and are tight first thing in the morning when I wake. I can't remember if I suffered this last time or not! I am scared, nervous and although I love them and am aware of the time it takes to heal I feel like I am going to have every complication! Anyone else feel like this?

I was like that! Even though I had done sooo much research I was nervous! The worst part for me was at night because you are aware if every sound etc! It kept me up worrying if I had done the right thing etc!
But as you know the odd pain does go eventually! Don't worry about cc, it's very unlikely as it's so normal to feel pains ... You've just had a big operation! Saying that I worried about it too but we can't do it to ourselves! We arnt helping our recoverys worrying ...
I was also an emotional wreck for two weeks, everything would set me off! But again as time went on and I was able to do more again I felt stronger and happier!
You've been through a lot, needing a re op but stay positive, flipping is a lot less likely with rounds so your be ok :) xx

Rexie, I think you have to have gone through a complication to totally understand how much it affects your head and it does tend to have you spiralling out of control, its like paranoia after your first BA times 10!

I absolutely know what you're going through hun and I think those here too who have suffered complications will also totally relate (well, I know they will). You actually look for things and have yourself convinced that things are starting to go wrong all over again. You over scrutinise every twinge and panic that you're heading right back to that theatre table... Its a horrible feeling Rexie and when you've gone through an unplanned revision due to complications there's no joy there, its completely different.

So know there are women here who can totally relate lovely and anything you want to talk over, even if you think it sounds silly in your head - its not silly to us and I can guarantee one of will have been there sweetheart.

I only wish I could tell you its going to get better, but from my own experience and from chatting to others recovering from complications... its doesn't hun. What is best there is that you found us and talking helps LOTS! 

I found writing a diary here very therapeutic to get me through my revision Rexie. I'd often ramble on about every twinge in my diary and its actually great to have that to read back on now too. Having a diary here offers support in abundance with it, so if  that's something you might like to consider, then you'll find a diary section on the forum to do that, if not, then as I said, do just talk it through...

I'd also suggest that at just 11 days post-op its possible you have a case of the booby blues hun... This magnifies everything! The tears roll for no reason at all and there's just no way of stopping them. I was just like yourself, I sailed through my first recovery, but after revision. It totally knocked me for six!

Good news is, when things start getting better with your boobs, you'll get better too hun and now you've had the revision you WILL go on to have boobs you can now enjoy sweetie.

Do feel free to chat, talk or come here just for a hug if you feel you need one sweetie - we'll be there for you all the way 

I've not even had my BA yet but wanted to send my thoughts, hope you recover quickly and have lovely new boobs. Big hugs xx

I think that after my reop I am going to 100% feel like this I  know I am as I real want it to all be right this time

All I can say is i really hope it all goes well this time and that we are all here to talk to xx

Thanks so much ladies. It is so reassuring to read that I am not alone in this and that I am not going crazy! I think I am finding it harder and more emotional this time as I have a 15 month old that I am unable to cuddle properly or pick up, whereas the first time my other two children were older so it was easier. Also my husband is now ill with the flu meaning I am having to do a lot more with the kids/house than I planned too and this is adding to my worry that something will go wrong. I have woken up now with a very painful left breast feeling almost like a pulled muscle and am now again worrying myself to the point of nausea that something is wrong :( Thank you for your support it is so lovely to be able to talk openly about my concerns and feelings to people who understand what I'm going through.

I was the same well my daughtersxare older but my youngest has CP and needs daily physio 3 times abd cause i couldnt help and this time wont can either i felt useless xx

Aww big hugs hun, it does get better :) xxx

Is there is there no-one else who can help with the kids Rexie? You mum? A friend possibly? 

There are times when a mum really needs to put herself first and that's not a bad thing Rexie. We mums always put ourselves at the back of the queue and I bet having a BA has probably been the first time you've done something that's just for you since you've had kids.... Its the same for most mums and right now hun, this is one of those times when you NEED to be putting you first. Understandably your  husband is ill, but he's not diasabled. You too aren't feeling good and I'm sure he can help too hun - when we mums get flu we have to just get on with it don't we, and this is one time when your hubby too just has to get on with it... For YOU!

Sorry if that sounds harsh babe, I don't mean it to be, but when you're in recovery after having major surgery YOU do come first and if you're not feeling great your body is telling you that you NEED rest!

So get that help sweetheart... The aching you're experiencing in your breast is normal if you're overdoing things hun. Its your body's only way of warning you to slow down so please do listen to it. Be sure you're also in a good quality high profile sportsbra too so your boobs are getting the full support they need, this too will help with the aching babe and if rested it should be just fine in a few days Rexie 

I 100% agree us mummys are always there for our kids 24/7 and there are times when we need to be put at the front of the list and this is your time, as you really will heal better and faster which in the end means quicker time to get back being mummy

You can sit your v pillow at a certain angle so that the wee one isnt bashing you and then you can have snuggles xx

Thanks ladies. I know what you are saying is true. I have had my mum to stay all Friday and Saturday and my best friend and her fiance gave up their whole weekend the weekend before to care for me and the kids while my husband was away working - something he forgot to tell me about when I was booking my op! My youngest went to a friend of mine all day today and is going to another friends tomorrow. I am truly lucky to have such wonderful friends and family but I feel I have put on them all more than enough.  My husband and I had a huge argument this morning about him not helping and me overdoing it so that hasn't helped my stress levels.  He really is amazing guy except when he is ill. He becomes very selfish when he is ill but this comes from being wrapped in bubble wrap by his mum as a child. The rest of the time he is great. Just so annoying as like you guys said us mums just power through, I've never spent a day in bed ill I don't have the option. And you are right this is the first major thing aside from my first BA that I have done just for me and this one wasn't even ever planned as it was due to the complication but yet I feel selfish now. Silly right?! I made sure I took it really easy at work today and I slept in my daughter's bedroom last night so as not to disturb my husband and also so I could sleep in peace! I'm sure in time all this will be a silly distant memory. Cookie I have changed to a different sports bra today and am feeling less achy and tender, although I do have a very tender side just under my armpit - not on my actual breast but I suspect that is just where I have over stretched yesterday. I am so grateful for you guys and this forum, it is so reassuring and so nice to be able to talk freely with people who understand. Thank you so much x

Men hey  I'm glad you've had some support over the weekend though and that the change in bra has helped Rexie, hopefully the pain under your arm will also ease up with you doing less also over the next few days.

And please don't ever feel 'selfish' Rexie, you're not. We all have our own good reason for putting ourselves through surgery for a BA and they're VERY valid to each of us and if something means so much to someone they're prepared to do what we have which is a pretty brave thing to do I think.... That can't possibly be a selfish thing can it, and to then have to go through the trauma of having a complication and ending up back on that operating table, which wasn't part of the plan at all and totally no fault of yours, you shouldn't feel selfish Rexie - you should expect that help from your friends and family because thats what we do for each other as I'm sure you would help any of your friends or family should they be in need. You're no different Rexie, you're someone who needs help right now, so let the people who love you help you and when you're well and strong and feeling good you can thank them all for their kindness in any way you choose to. 

Always here for you Rexie - you've found 'friends' here at Breast Buddies and we're here to support you for the whole time you need us 

men can be a bit daft at times lol and cant plan or multitask and Peters always sure he has told me things but actually hasnt!! haha

Def if you ever feel you need to talk please come here and we will try and help as much as we can xx

Thank you ladies! I feel like I'm finally starting to feel like me again thanks to talking to you. It can all get so cloudy can't it cos you get so emotional and deep into it you can't see things clearly anymore. Thank you so much for making me feel better about things.  I grabbed five minutes to have a good look at them earlier and they are starting to look really good, finally starting to get that excited feeling that I had with my first BA! Thank you so much x

my advice is if you arent feeling to great then dont look at the boobies lol lol leave it a few more days ahahaha

so glad your feeling kinda better xx

Im glad we've helped you to feel better Rexie   Going through a re-op can really mess with your head, so its good that you seem to be coming through that, but if you ever need us Rexie... You know where we are lovely and it would be nice to get to know you better too.    Xx

Aw thanks Tinkerbell24 and Cookie, it'd be nice to get to know you guys better too! I plan to have this forum as my guidebook and support circle for a long time now I've found you! Will be nice to be able to share my experiences to support others too :)

Your experience will be very much appreciated here Rexie 

Your experience will be very much appreciated here Rexie 

im glad to hear it

hope ur still feeling good today xx