Advice on telling male work colleagues.

Hi guys,

I had always planned on not telling anyone (apart from family etc...) about my op especially my work colleagues as they are all male. But they an inquisitive bunch and I'm pretty sure they are going to notice. I just don't know if I can deal with the elephant in the room all the time. 

I plan on wearing baggy clothes with padded bras PRE BA at work and continuing the baggy tops for a long time after the op while I am at work. But I think this will only act as a buffer.

Have any of you had any experience at telling people about your BA that was quite awkward? Any tips on what to say?

P.s these guys are innuendo central. Despite being really clever and nice guys they LOVE to take the **naughty word**! 

Bloody men!!! Haha

Oh sorry about the Naughty Word! :S totally didn't realise I'd put that! Xx

Nire, a lot of women here including me worry about this but I've seen a lot if times girls going back to work and saying no one noticed! Your sports bra will be holding them close to you for the first few weeks and its easy to wear clothes to hide them more if you wish such as those light scarfs. I plan to keep wearing my padded bras in the run up so there won't be a huge difference...

If I was you I don't think I would ever want to tell the men in the office because we all know what they are like, I don't think they would ever forget it, just enjoy the speculation if they do notice but you will get away with not saying anything I'm sure :) xx

The annoying thing is Jen, I don't think it will be the implants that give me away!

The time off will! Some guys in my office never miss a beat! They are so friggin' nosey! They ask what time you're leaving each day and what hours you've worked. They've all managed to figure out what everyone's pay bracket is etc... 

I can't say I'm on holiday because they all know I only have one holiday left. All I can say is that I'm off sick but there will be 1001 questions about that too. 

Haha I do like the guys I work with but sometimes I just wish they weren't so blumin nosey!!

Bloody hell lol they sound like a right bunch!! You could maybe say the last shift your going out after horse riding or on a Segway, on some type of activity ... Something they will believe and then you can say you fell off and hurt your back! ;) lol xx

I very very much doubt they will notice x

Haha Jen I'm not even joking! They day of my consultation I walked into work instead of coming in on my ped and this was the conversation I had to have...

Where's your helmet?
At home.
Why aren't you on your ped?
Ste dropped me off.
Why?
Because I'm going out straight after work.
Where? 
The train station.
Where are you going?
St Helen's.
What you going there for?
To meet up with me trainspotting lover, please don't tell Ste.

Then they all scowled and the next day was even worse. They were googling what was in St Helen's!!!!

I think you're over any listing just a little Nire lol.

Honestly hun, if you don't want them to know they won't.

As for time off, if she just say something as simple as 'lady problems' that generally shuts men up.

Don't worry hun. You'll be fine. How you handle this is up to you... If you wear tight low tops then of course they're going to notice, but most women just wear loose tops, or wear a pretty scarf or pashmina to drape.

You'll be OK Xxx

I hope I am cookie! 

I've come to terms with the fact that they are probably going to notice even with my baggy tops etc... I'm just after a few choice words to use in conversation in the event that someone decides to ask me out right. Xx

Yay you have a ticker! only 30 days!!!

Well hopefully you can come up with some ideas incase they do notice, but if worse comes to worse and you cant think of any excuse, they shouldn't notice you have had a BA unless you show them off so you havnt got anything to worry about in that department :) xx

Well, if you're happy to go with any possible sexist comments then tell him with comments like that he must have an IQ if two... Pity it takes 3 to grunt!

If you want to nip any sexist comments in the bud, tell 'em straight that you won't accept it. This is what I'd do anyway.. There's no way I'd work with men making comments about my boobs. Those days when women had to accept that are long gone babe. Xx

Honestly can't thank you guys enough! I'm such a fretter (in case you haven't noticed) :P and being able to log on spill my worried guts out and get great advice back is invaluable! 

I'd be a mess without this forum, I feel like I can't complain or worry about the bad side to surgery to my family etc... Because this is something I'm opting to have done. I feel like I have to put a bright smiley 'everything is fine and I'm not worried about anything at all' front. At least here I can be 100% honest and get 100% honesty back! 

Woo BJSf!!

Cookie you really deserve an award! <3

Hi Nire, I agree that this forum is great, as you say you can sometimes feel the pressure not to moan to family etc as they will just say 'well you don't have to do it' aghhh i know i dont but i WANT to im just a little apprehensive! haha. at least here everyone is in the same boat and we can cheer each other up when needed   i've said it before this forum is an absolute godsend.  As for your work colleagues, don't let them worry you, as the girls have said they probs wont even notice and if they keep asking why you've been off just say women's problems and you don't want to talk about it.  Hopefully that will shut them up. xxx

Hi Nire. I guess it depends on whether you're happy being up front about it (badum tsh). If you're ok with them knowing, and the jokes/innuendo that'll come with it, tell them in a mans words - got my <insert ridiculous work for boobs here> done! If your not comfortable with it, you dont have to tell them anything. And like cookie says, if they make you uncomfortable about it, tell them you wont stand for it.

I took the decision to tell a 'new' friend after I'd had it done, and I havent heard back from them in 7wks now. I was so worried before, and felt a little awkward after, but I think the reaction speaks for itself, so I guess its one less xmas card to send :)

Yeah Missvmac! That's exactly it :P

Charlii I like what you did there ;) sorry to hear about your friends response, what childish reaction. Baffling!

I know I can only take it as it comes but I just like to have plans A, B and C in place before I go ahead with things! Helps me sleep ;)

Lol they sound hilarious.

I too didn't plan to tell anyone but changed my mind, I've told a few of the guys at work, the ones I talk to quite a lot. I found it easier to just come out with it, I've had mixed reactions from them, a couple of the men have been really concerned and tried to talk me out of it (bless) and from one I had a high five lol

Their funny creatures  

A high five haha! 

I think in just in a bit of conundrum with myself. I don't plan on going massive so I'm hoping to keep it fairly quiet, so other than family I don't plan on telling anyone. Do do I keep quiet and lie if questioned or just come right out with it and hope they don't feel the need to tell everyone.

I have a good relationship with these guys I've seen them all everyday for the past 5 years and I squeeze into some very sweaty confined spaces with them (sounds worse than it is). I guess I just don't want to make it awkward. They are good friends and I'm the youngest and the only girl in our department. Maybe I'm just scared of the first conversation? I know at some point they are probably going to figure it out. As much as I plan on dressing conservatively and disguisingly at work, I sure as hell plan on wearing gorgeous tops and dresses on nights out and there will be pictures on Facebook that they will see! 

I had to tell my manager as he was helping me figure out our HR policy about sick leave for non NHS procedures. And he's been great and had given me some good ideas about letting people know he referred to it as 'divide and conquer'- I'm not even joking. Some of them are complete nerds but they are fab.

Hi,

I work in an all male environment, lots of banter; the 5 of us in my cubicle are very close and know just about every detail of each others lives..... I'm 2 weeks post op, been back to work since last Wednesday (5 working days) and they haven't noticed a thing - I just been wearing my usual clothes whilst not particularly tight or low cut do show off my figure - little dresses etc, and not a peep! Figured if I started wearing baggy stuff or scarfs it would cause more curiosity lol! If they had noticed they definitely would not hold back on asking me (and winding me up) I can't quite believe it.... LOL.

If you don't want to tell them beforehand then Judy wait and see if they notice. I suppose you don't know how your going to feel after the op, you may choose to laugh it off and deny it or you may want to be loud and proud about it lol

I would just do whatever makes you feel more comfortable xx

Oh fi_abz that's fab! You've definitely given me more hope! Glad to hear you're healing so well! :)

PrincessJo, yeah that sounds like the best plan.  I hope it doesn't become awkward!

I'm sure it won't