Family visit 3 days post op....worried

by g0902 11th May 2013, 9:53 pm

So its my aunts birthday 3 days after my op and my family have arranged a birthday dinner for her with family who i haven't seen in months.

I don't plan to go to the actual dinner itself but they will be at my house to visit. I have decided not to tell anyone other than my mum, dad sis and boyfriend..so I'm worried about covering up my BA. but i don't want to seem rude by avoiding seeing them.... particularly worried about those "big squeeze" hugs family give when they haven't seen each other in quite a while!!! xx

by kelly1990 11th May 2013, 10:10 pm

You could tell them you've injured your back? A little white lue. It would explain why you'd be tired after taking painkillers and also why you can't hug properly. Is there no possibility of you getting out of seeing them? You could say you have a headache/migraine and go upstairs to lie down....x

by g0902 11th May 2013, 10:24 pm

i think the sore back idea might be the best... I'm just worried that they will be offended when they have travelled for a few hours to see us all then i head off to lie down but i mightn't have any choice! They will be here for a few dats, so I'm really hoping by 1 week post op i will be able to make some sort of effort with them.. although id say this is unlikely xx

by kelly1990 11th May 2013, 10:36 pm

Don't put any pressure on yourself, your healing is important. I'm sure you'll be up to sitting and chatting for a while but maybe ask a family member who knows about the ba to slip the back injury into conversation before they actually see you, then when they see you you'll just have to remind them before theyhug you instead of them attempting to hug you first. x

by RayRayT 12th May 2013, 7:17 am

Im sure you'll find that they wont be disappointed, especially if your usually accommodating. They will probably tell you that you should of cancelled them coming! Just make your apologises and tell them the pain killers are making you very nauseas and sleepy. They will understand. xx

by loclo26 12th May 2013, 8:05 am

At one week po you will start feeling better, its usually a turning point for most women. Having a bad back would be your best option x x

by jenniferrf1 12th May 2013, 9:18 am

what the girls have suggested about the back problem is a good idea i think! Make sure your family member tells them about it before hand so that they are already aware and you wont have a aqward moment when they come towards you to hug you and your backing off! :) xx

by **COOKIE** 12th May 2013, 12:07 pm

I really wouldn't commit to seeing family who don't know at just 3 days post op lovely. Day 3 is generally the day when you're feeling the worst - your swelling kicks in to the fullest and you can often feel quite uncomfortable and tearful at this stage.

Saying you have a bad back 'may' get you through, but I'm concerned your family may be very worried about you if they saw you at day 3.

Don't panic now and think "OMG! What's going to happen to me"?! Haha you'll be fine hun, its just they couldn't have picked a worst day to see you at day 3!!!

So although you don't want to be rude, if you don't want to concern your family if you aren't feeling that great it might be best to think of an excuse to get out of seeing them now hun and then if you do feel up to seeing them at the time you could always say you changed your mind but have the bad back problem. Xx

by g0902 12th May 2013, 12:12 pm

I only have an uncle staying at my house at the minute and he won't be that bothered! its more the grandparent I'm worried about when he calls up to visit. I don't want him to be disappointed if i don't make any effort :( its an awkward one, because its a birthday so i can't really postpone it. i live with my parents so my mum has said she will do her best to keep them busy outside of the house so hopefully that works!

I was thinking of getting my mum to tell them i had been really sick and had something dodgy to eat and think i have food poisoning.... i think that would be a good enough excuse to be in bed all day lol :)

Thanks for your advice girls, really appreciate it.. it would be just my luck to book my BA on the same week!! xx

by **COOKIE** 12th May 2013, 12:17 pm

Yes! That would probably be the best response. That way they won't hug you for fear of catching anything, it would explain your tiredness and not being able to get out of bed (maybe they could just pop up to see you in bed) and they'll probably make the visit short with you so too.

That would probably be your best bet babe. The very last thing you're going to want to be doing on day three is getting out of bed to entertain anyone, so let them come to you and make it short and sweet gorgeous. Xx

by g0902 12th May 2013, 12:23 pm

Hopefully that should work! i will just have to keep those boobies wrapped up in my pjs :-) When my mum said they were coming i felt like dying inside lol I'm keeping my BA a secret so as you say, day 3 is definitely not the best day for visits lol... 24 days to go! woohoo :) xx

by misf1 12th May 2013, 12:28 pm

Sounds like you have a good plan hun. Best of luck

by g0902 12th May 2013, 2:10 pm

Thanks misf1.. don't like lying to my family but it has to be done! :( x

by Princess_x 12th May 2013, 4:34 pm

The sickness bug is a good one, but if it's bothering you a lot lying then tell them x

by g0902 12th May 2013, 4:53 pm

Telling them definitely isn't an option. I do t know how grandparents would react to it. And i dont want a big fuss especially on a family occasion x

by **COOKIE** 12th May 2013, 5:16 pm

There's so many of my family I haven't told hun... Don't think of it as 'lying' to them at all. A little white lie never hurt no-one. Think of it as a procedure that's personal to 'you' and not something you wish to share.

Get your mind set into knowing that's not wrong! You're allowed to keep things to yourself if you choose to and as long as what you do doesn't have an impact on someone else's life - which YOUR BA doesn't... Then its all good babe, don't worry about it. Xx

by Victoria2345 12th May 2013, 5:23 pm

I had surgery just over 4yrs ago that only my parents, brother an bf at time knew about. I managed to cover it up from everyone else. Its difficult to keep secrets from loved ones but sometimes little white lies hurt no one.

I would defo go with the norovirus option...sickness n diahorrea as you need to be basically quarantined for 48hours after it stops x

by Mrs_B_24 12th May 2013, 5:31 pm

This is what I'm trying to avoid, so I've ended up planning my date (5th dec -hopefully) so it isn't near anyone's birthday and so it's not too close to Xmas that i'll be house bound over Xmas. My husband and sisters are the only people who'll know so I'm having to be very careful with my dates! Hope all goes well for u tomorrow x

by g0902 13th May 2013, 12:05 pm

Thanks Cookie! I keep telling myself that too... i never spoke to my family about my boobs before so why should i feel like i have to now ? :)

Thanks Victoria.. were you able to keep it a secret? I'm worried about people noticing.. so I'm gradually increasing the padding in my bras!!

MrsB.. I probably should have tried to do that.. but i am in uni so by june my exam are over and have plenty of time before i go back to uni incase anything goes wrong (although hopefully not!!) xx

by **COOKIE** 13th May 2013, 12:11 pm

g0902 wrote:Thanks Cookie! I keep telling myself that too... i never spoke to my family about my boobs before so why should i feel like i have to now ? :)

My feelings exactly! :ok:

x

by Victoria2345 13th May 2013, 12:12 pm

It wasnt a ba I had it was another personal surgery that I had 2 hide. I'll pm u and explain. But yes I was able 2 keep it secret. Just go to primark and buy there x2 cup bras...my best friends lol x

by g0902 13th May 2013, 12:15 pm

Ahh i see i will watch out for ur mail hun :) oh yes, i have plenty of those :p haha i think i have every plunge bra on the market! Cant wait to throw them out after yahoo

xx

by Victoria2345 13th May 2013, 12:21 pm

Lol I have 10 of them helish to fit in drawers haha. Pm has bin sent x

by g0902 13th May 2013, 12:28 pm

haha! i had great air boost ones from la senza but they all look horrendous now and la senza don't stock them anymore :( x

by tinkerbell24 13th May 2013, 1:01 pm

i was really bad the 1st week of my BA but think ive been one of the unlucky ones with recovery, i literally slept for almost a week and was on any concoction of pain killers i could take lol and i normally have a very high pain threshold but you may find it a breeze as for people noticing you can cover them up easily xx

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