Well........that didnt go to well.

Well Ladies i am so upset this evening. I have been keeping my BA from my mum, dad and sister as i didnt want to tell them until everything was set. My family have known i have wanted a BA sice i was about 15 so i wasnt worried about telling them as i thought the reaction would be fine. My dad has even joked recently when i won a tenner on a scratch card that the tenner wouldnt be enough my a boob job and better luck next time. Well me my fiance and son were invited round there house for dinner today. Me and my sister took our dogs out for a walk and i told my sister about the op and she was all ok with it even though she isnt the cosmetic surgery type and would never have anything done herself. She said if this is what i wanted to do to my body then that was down to me. Was all excited about telling my mum and dad before we left to go home.

Well....... i told then and the reaction i got i was not expecting. Firstly my mum looked like she was going to cry and just didnt say anything and when i looked at my dad he just said im not impressed, me being all confused i said what are u not impressed with then this is when he said, your getting married this year and we are paying alot of money towards this and your wasting your money towards a BA. I told them i was putting down half the money and the rest in a 0% credit card until after the wedding which i will then pay off before the end of the year. My dad then decided to take himself upstairs mumberling under his breath so i went and spoke to my mum, i asked her why was he not saying anything even though she new it was going to happen at some point as i havent spoken about anything else for as long as i can remember she then said she doesnt agree with me changing my body and that i will not be able to find lumps etc etc etc. I told her about something on here i had read about where a lady found a lump easier because of the implant but noo there not having any of it. We then left and came home.

Once home i then got a text from my sister saying i shouldnt get it done and that she was wrong earlier on in the day and that i hadnt thought about it all properly. etc etc etc

I didnt ask my mum and dad to pay towards my wedding they offered and said that is the way for it to be done. Im so upset as i think my dad wouldnt be reacting in this way if he wasnt paying for some of the wedding. Im so upset as i wasnt expecting it to all turn out this way and feel i should say to my dad that i will pay all the money back that hes payed for the wedding so far and just pay for the rest myself.

Sooooo sorry for the long post girls but trying to talk to my fiance about this is like talking to a brick wall. :(

Sorry to hear this hun xxx

I cant give you much advise but i hope that things turn out right and the way you want them to xxx

Don't be sorry hun.... We're all here for you

My parents reacted the exact same way hun. They're in total disagreement with 'cosmetic' surgery and did everything in their powers to get me to change my mind. I had horror stories, them telling me they'd feel ashamed if anyone found out... Oh I had the lot hun!

But you stay strong! Your surgery isn't about your parents, its ALL about YOU. You've been a considerate daughter telling them what you're doing, but that's all you were doing - telling them!

You weren't asking for their permission and its wrong of them to be emotionally blackmailing you to change your mind to suit them.

They're not doing this to be unkind to you hun, it pure concern for their daughter that made them react the way they have... So do bare that in mind. Its only because they love you so much that they care and concern makes people react in ways they possibly wouldn't normally so do try not to get upset.

You carry on with your plans babe. Whether your parents are in agreement or not, that's not your problem hun. You can respect their opinions, but thats not to say that their opinion has to change your mind. They don't have to live with your boobs, they don't have the life problems you do with how they are now and how they affect you - you do!

Everything will eventually right itself in its own way afterwards hun, they're your parents and no matter what you do, whether they agree with it or not, its never going to change their love for you and they may not be happy about you having a BA, but they'll find a way to deal with the fact that you're having it done. Xx

Oh bless you sweety! That is truly rubbish. It is your body and your money you can do exactly what you want with it!
i can't believe that they should want what makes you happy! I really don't k ow what to say, that has made me so mad for you. This is your decision sweety not theirs. You have to do what is right for you not anybody else. They will have to get used to the idea. You can't spend your life trying to keep everyone happy. If you and your fiancé are happy with it then go for it. I guess just try and educate your family in why...but surely they should know our reasoning if ou have wanted it since 15?!? Stand your ground Hun and think truly if this is want you want to do. Then go and bloody do it!!! Life is to short to be unhappy because if other people.
Keep your chin up sweety. Big hugs
Xxx

Ah hun I don't know what to suggest I'm sorry it didn't go well. I'm sure it was just the shock of the situation that made them react in that way, given time they may come round to the idea.

Big hugs hun xx

Sorry to hear your upset!!! I can only second everything the girls have said! Be strong, might be really hard now but once they're done and your all recovered and looking amazing they'll say you look great your confidence and happiness will show and they'll realise why you did it!! Xx

Thanks ladies. Means alot :D. There is no wayyyyyyy im changing my mind. I have my own life i own my own house and have my own family. I have text my sister saying im sorry that i wont be changing my mind and that if there not willing to support me then we wont speak of the subject again. Im doing this for me and i know for a fact its going to change my life for the better only 1 month and 22 days to go xxxx

Good for you Lauren. my BA just doesn't ever get discussed since I had my surgery, its like it never happened lol. But I respect that they're uncomfortable about the thought that I had it done and that they have a right to an opinion. So although we don't talk about it. They're happy and I'm happy now... So its all good.

Hoping for the same if not better outcome for you too Lauren. X

Woohoo!! Good on you, get the countdown going xx

hi so sorry to hear that this is the reaction that you got.

i can understand why people get so judgmental when people have cosmetic surgery

i can say that my mum wasnt to pleased about mine and my aunt was just a complete c*w and some of the things she said about me was so so nasty

now they just dont mention it and neither do i but you know what im well proud that i decided to go ahead and have it done as its my body my decision

i hope that they at least come round a bit or they agree to not talk about it

but good for you on sending the txt to your sister that must have been hard

we are all here id you need to talk xx

Aww Lauren that's so rubbish for you, I hope they come round in time but you can't live your life for other people, if it makes you happy go for it, just give your family time to take it in xx

Ah Hun, my mum was really not happy at first. I spent time showing her info on my surgeon and reassured her I wasn't aiming to get 'porn star style' boobies and Ive also taken her to one of my consultations. She's now completely supportive. Be patient Hun, hopefully she'll come round!
M x

Right well firstly if your man is supporting you then who cares? This is not something you've just decided to do...you've been longing for it since you were 15! Its your body and your happiness.
Your family might not agree but trust me hun they will get over it soo let them do just that. When it comes to your wedding day your family will be bursting with pride and you will look super amazing.
Keep your chin up, your doing this for you and if you start to get doubts then come on here and chat to us...we don't judge, we listen x x

ATEOTD you're an adult xx You can do what you want xx

Perhaps your Dad's reaction is amplified by the money he's paying for the wedding....... I can kind of see where he's coming from on that front xx Sorry hun, don't mean to upset you xx

Aw hunni this must be horrible for you.
If I were you then yeah, I think I'd offer to pay your pop back. Maybe they're a lit hurt because you made the decision before discussing it with them?
Did you get chance to explain why you want your BA?
I was a little concerned about telling my Pop, I thought he would judge me for it but when I explained how I felt about my body because of my boobs, he really understood. Good luck Hun I hope you get everything sorted xxxx

Hi, wedding always magnify any feelings wether they are related to the wedding or not. I obviously don't know your parents but they may calm down over a few days when they have mulled it over. As a parent our children are always perfect in our eyes. I hope it all works out xx

My family weren't overly supportive either hun. They just don't understand how it feels to hate a part of your body so much that you want to go through an operation to change that. Also my mum didn't want "someone cutting into her little girl" which I understand in a way. After my op she's been helpful and taken good care of me (I still live at home) and thankfully no further catty comments. If you know you're doing the right thing then good on ya, they'll come around when they see how much happier you are for it :)

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I really feel for you. I agree what everyone else has said. I think most parents want the 'best' for their children, even when you grow up you're still their 'little girl' Maybe they feel a bit scared and when you make them a bit more informed about the procedure they will be a bit more reassured. A few people I have told ask why I am putting myself through a procedure which is 'unnecessary' and putting myself at risk and why do I want 'fake' looking boobs, however I just want to be in proportion. I hope they come round and that this initial reaction took them by surprise a bit, possibly when they've had time to think they might feel differently. Were you going to have it done before your wedding? I think feeling happy in yourself and having that confidence in yourself is just as important as physical health. You only get one life and you have to do what makes you happy. Good luck lovely XXX

Thanks for all the lovely comments girls.

Yes melstar im having the op in march and my weddings in septemeber. I have tried my dress on without a bra and it look horrid i then added lots of pading and it made the dress look 10 x better.

XXX

You must be so disappointed. Were you really excited thinking of having it in time for your wedding and putting the dress on? Getting the boobs you've always wanted and feeling amazing in your dress. I hope you go ahead. When they see you happy surely they will forget all the negative thoughts. Hug X

Oh sweetheart I can see both sides. Parents can't see anything but beautiful children, we are all blinded by our unconditional love for our kids. My family are very controlling of me financially, my father manages my bills etc because I can't deal with moving money about. I mentioned I wanted a BA 10 years ago and god shot down by them, I am extremely rebellious and will do as I please, they hate that I have tatoos. Eventually I went on so much I told my parents I was having it and they could either support me and how I felt it bugger off and live in la la land! My mum changed her tune and came with me for my first op offers to come to my appointments and had her teeth done herself. We aren't an open family but as I've got older I've started telling them how their actions affect me and its helped.

It is your body and ultimately your decision everyone will have their say because sadly society is full of busy bodies who love to stick their oars in. It's very hard to feel unsupported by your family but they will come round. Keep your chin up!! Xxx

I will deff be going ahead its all sorted. I wasnt asking for my parent permission as it isnt down to them. I was just kindly keeping them in the loop. I dont live under their roof and havent for many years so its down to them whether they support me or not. xxxx

Sadly parents always seem to think they have to give permission.. Same as siblings! I know ill be the same with my daughter lol

Aw Lauren, sorry they reacted like that. They are just worried about you. Remember this is for you and no one can understand how it makes YOU feel. I'm sure they will come round, it was probably a shock if they werent expecting it so soon. As for the wedding money, it is a completely seperate thing and if they offered to pay towards it, Im sure they wont expect or want you to pay it back. Like the others said, these things usually calm down and will work out in the end xx

Good on ya girl, im glad you're sticking to what's going to make you happy...you'll look beautiful on your wedding day and your family will get over the difference in opinions. We're all here when u need us hun x