My boyfriends left me - BA on my own?

My boyfriends left me...do you think I can do this on my own?

With a couple of friends coming to check on me during the day?

I can organise my little boy a few nights away after my return home, and he is old enough to help when he returns...

I know everyones going to say, probably no... but as I have nobody to rely on (only support I have is you guys on this forum) I can either do this while my little boy is on holidays as it would be more difficult to do it during school terms

What do you think?
What help exactly did you need?

Ohhh hun .... I am so sorry to hear your going through it at the mo.

How old is your little boy? I had my BA 8 weeks ago (you've seen my pics). I live alone with my son 8yrs and my 10 month old baby. I pretty much had my BA on my own as my partner does not live with me (and we also seperated).

A lot of girls seem to recover quickly and often stop taking meds after a few days. Mine seemed a lot harder and I did need help. I had unders - which does seem to take longer to recover -BUT we are all different with our healing.

After a few days I could have looked after my son as he is 8 now and can do a lot for himself and is an easy child - but I couldn't have looked after my baby as I really couldn't lift for 10 days (longer if I had the chance).

If you have someone to have your son for the first few days and depending on his age I am sure you will cope, if you can find a few friends to help out all the better.The first 5 days are the worst. After all - if you can cope with being a mum in the first place you already have courage and determination!!

x

Hi hunni, i'm so sorry you're having to decide this alone, but we'll help you!!

The only thing I needed help with was taking a shower (I was allowed to the next day) and I couldn't lift my arms to wash my hair. If you sort a hairdresser for a wash maybe after a few days, and if you can't shower anyway for a while (I know most girls are told to wait to shower) you should be FINE!

Put all of the things you'll need at waist level in your house - soap, food, etc. Don't lift a heavy kettle (no tea I guess) you don't want to hurt yourself! (Actually have your friends make you a cuppa while they're there!)

You will be fine - when all else fails, take it easy!! Get ice packs too, and apply them from the beginning, they'll help w/ swelling and pain. Most men are useless anyway with things like this!!!

Good luck hunni

xxx Ali

Depends on how old he is and also how you are Post op xx

Also, what would happen if there was an emergency with you or him? xx You have to sign a disclaimer on release to say that you will have someone with you for the first 24 hours as well xx

Have you not got a girlfriend that could come stay?? xx

Aw Hun That's rubbish, and rotten timing of him to boot.
I would get someone to stay for the first couple of nights, for sure. You having overs or unders?
The advice above is great, and also make sure everything you will want to wear for ages is ironed (taking into account they need to be clothes that giver your sports bra) make sure you have food that doesn't need to be boiled in a pan (learnt that the hard way too) and have someone on hand for sports bra washing duties as I found bending to the washer and even pulling the stiff machine door open horrible. How old is your son?x

Hey Bouncy.

So sorry to hear this.

I don't have children but I guess with lots of forward planning this is do-able. How old is your lad? Can you arrange for any out of school clubs to take him (presuming he's old enough)? As Alexandra said, make sure everything is on a level where you don't have to reach. Pre-prepare meals and clothes for him to wear.

Are you a day case or overnight and will there be anyone to pick you up from the hospital? It might be worth seeing if someone can stay with you on your first night at home, just so you can get an idea of what he will need.

For what its worth I was uncomfortable after my op but by day 3 I was definately more myself, mobile and active. Sorry, not much help I know, but want to offer my support.

My boyfriend came with me to my consultation (2 actually) however has
non stop fought with me since and been moody and strange, has now left
me, I dont even know what he started fighting with me about and I can
only think its becos he knows I really want this BA and going from
looking an A to looking a D/dd, am always researching about boobies, and
he just cant handle it...I am really happy with everything else I have, except my funny shaped boobs lol

My son is going to year 3 next, so he can do lots of things to help me actually, which would be great, he can make tea for me, and microwave meals lol. guess thats what I will be living on for the first week lol

ooohhhhh .......... is it possible that he may just be feeling a tiny weeny bit insecure at the thought of your new boobies and the new you?????

If he has gone for good and not just having a 'crisis', then when you have finished crying, you can start to think that you are one day closer to meeting the man you are meant to spend the rest of your life with

The fact that your son is older really will make it do able as long as you can find friends that can be 'on call' in case you need them. Once you have got over the first week you'll be fine.

You CAN do it x x (and be proud of yourselfxx)

Sorry to hear this Hun,

You may need somebody for the first few days as you will be restricted as to what you can do, I have 2 children one was 5 and the other 1 and I couldn't have done iton my own to be honest, or even if you have someone on hand so if you do run into any problems you can call them and they would be there.

I'm so sorry to hear this Hun, it does sound like he's more than a little insecure about your plans xx

I can only second what the other ladies have said... Help for the first 2-3 days is very important, after that you may be ok as long as you're sensible.

You will have everyone here too, to help you with any worries you may have xxx

Hey hun, so sorry to hear of this happening, crappy timing . I'm sure you will get through it and with your son being able to help out a little you will be fine. Just plan ahead babe and prep as much as you can ie food, housework etc.

Hope it all goes well xx

Is he just 3 years old??............... That can't be right......I must be confused....?? xx

He's going into year 3, about 7 years old

ha ha yes hes 7 years old.

And I am doing this on my own! help! lol

Thanks so much everyone for all the input xxx

Sorry to hear about your troubles bouncy.
I hope you manage to get things sorted with you BA.
I think you'll be amazed at how much your 7yr old is capable of helping you.
Good luck sweetie.
xxx

Best of luck Bouncy, I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this.

I'm a bit useless with advice here as i don't have children, but in terms of simply looking after yourself, you should be absolutely fine. I was on my own and it was a breeze. I've just been using Ocado for food shopping and asking the delivery chap to take things into the kitchen. Anything else can be sorted with a bit of prep. On the day itself the nurses are brilliant. I'd recommend organising a friend to come see you about three to four hours after the op and take you home/get a taxi with you. (my friend met me but in the end I didn't need her to take me home as I was totes fine!)

I hope your partner comes to his senses, it does sound like he may have some insecurities about your new figure...

Big hugs xx

I have just found out from his friends that hes been on a bender since he left... I havent heard or seen him at all.

I am now preparing to do this all basically on my own

Thanks for all the votes of confidence, it makes me feel much better to hear that some of you have done it by yourselves

xxx

Aww that's such rubbish news bouncyDD. Men can be SO stupid! It sounds like he was so worried your new figure was going to make you leave him for someone else, he left you already to be "safe" - such senseless logic. Hopefully he'll come to his senses

How many days have you got left until the big day? At least you have something positive to focus on rather than thinking about him.

I didn't go through my op on my own as I had my parents there BUT I was so determined to be self-sufficient, it was a rare occassion that I actually asked for help. I don't have kids so I suppose that made it easier, but the day after my op I was able to dress myself, brush my hair and put my makeup on, and throughout my recovery the only things I asked for help with was flushing the loo and washing my hair. I know everyone recovers differently, but if you come out feeling like me you should be OK...and as everyone says your 7 year old should be capable of helping you should you need it. Good luck!!

I am having unders and a mastopexy, so I will probably struggle a bit longer than some of you that have had just overs...But it makes me feel more confident to do this now without him

thanks all xxx

I am thinking about a mobile hairdresser 2 ...

I would ensure you have somebody on hand incase of an emergency as you won't be able to drive initially. For everything else I think you will manage on your own you will just have to take your time and really make sure you don't over do anything - so no hoovering for 6 weeks LOL.

Think about anything you may use early PO and have it within reaching distance, stock up on dry shampoo and lose fitting clothing.

I managed quite well but I had overs, I think it's more SHOULD there be an emergency you will need somebody.

As for your ex he sounds like an insecure person, dont let him get in the way of your happiness. X

Thanks hun xxx

I have organised someone to be on call lol. Thank goodness, a very nice friend has arrived to my rescue. But hopefully fingers crossed I wont have any problems.

Other than that, I am really really excited, I have wanted this for a long time and I am now ready to go in with guns blazing!

Oh cant wait, will know my op date tomorrow if all goes well xxx

Oh that's brilliant you've got something sorted! Hopefully not long to go now!

I was pretty much on my own after my 2nd b a but am lucky enough that my boys are old enough to basically do most things themselves. Keeping my finger crossed for you hun. I am sure you will be fine .xx

Woooop! Get your BA down in our calendar as soon as you find out what it is!!x