ba boyfriends & intimacy

OK. (so haha, I also have an avatar! that is roughly what I hope to look like. maybe a -little- bigger. i am bigger than that right now. but really I just want to feel graceful and proportioned again, i dont even weigh 100 pounds and im only 5 feet tall, so being petite is fine for me. I just want to be able to move and feel graceful again. so I dont need to be very large, cause I'm a very very petite person.)

as I mentioned Im just looking for a lift alone, partially for cost and partially so I wont have to worry bout replacing anything. yes I feel the boob greed! I so do. but Im just not sure its the right thing in my particular case. Im ok with being voluptuous in a more petite way.

SO -- my question. im a little worried this will be offensive, so im trying to be delicate. if i say anything that offends anyone please let me know ok.

basically: im interested in how these kinds of surgery has affected your intimate life. this is the place where my curent condition bothers me the most. when i have clothes on, i feel fine and look very nice, im actually rather large for my size, and get lots of comments on that. so the way I look is fine for me with clothes on. but with my clothes off, being so petite and then suuuuper stretched out, is just super uncomfortable physically. as well as, to be honest it really looks pretty bad and its honestly pretty un sexy. (for me myself its un sexy, how it looks and how it feels)

so.. ive been with my dear sweetie for a year now.. and we have a super great intimate life and he says he loves me as i am, however, i know for a fact, that my body has been a point of contention. i wore clothes a lot during sex just so i could move better.. so at first he thought i was sensitive, and began avoiding touching them and stuff so as not to make me feel worse. so of course, him avoiding them, really made me feel much worse even though he was doing it to be nice, he thought. this was a big misunderstanding for a long time.

then we talked about it more and i explained to him what my real isues were, and hes been a total super hero and always wants me to take my clothes off, and he's just poured so much love and caring into making me feel comfortable and good about myself.

so now, that has really helped, however, its still something that is just not super comfortable for either of us. i know for a fact he is a total breast man. and i can just feel how much he wants to connect with me that way, and i reeallly want that too, but, its just really difficult beause its like dealing with... you know. its just hard to really successfully be intimate that way because im very squishy and droopy and not very sensitive, or actually honestly very alluring. i know it actually turns me on a lot less, the way i am now. so i can't blame him if secretly, he also feels like that, though he would never say it. so he tries like a super hero, with lots of success, but i dont really want anyone to have to -try- to find me sexy. and, i know its been draining for him and i dont like that.

id sort of rather make it easier for both of us and really actually -be- sexy. so we didn't have to think about it, we could just enjoy each other.

he says he will totally support anything that wil make me happy, and we have talked about this surgery some. so im pretty sure if i did it, he would be supportive.

so im just curious.. what has happened in your guys' intimate life when you had this done? not looking for gory details just, did it make you feel sexier, did it help your boyfriends find you sexier. did they like it better, not like it, were they neutral. did it help you enjoy being sexual more. this is also why im concerned about the scars at first, since, im sure that will not be super sexy for awhile.

also.. his reactions have been very interesting. he has spent so very very much love and effort telling me it doesn't matter. that im sexy as i am. and that is about 'how we feel inside'. but... its hard to explain that really, how i feel outside really affects, how i feel inside.. especialy when it something, so sort of vital, to your sexual experience. // i know im sexy but.. still.. im really not sure its realistically possible to really overcome this totally with just our minds.... for either of us. i think its a real physical thing.

i want to feel better about myself in my sex life, and i honestly think, that once i heal, he might find himself liking it a lot better too, even if he is not admitting that to himself right now.

so im just curious about your thoughts on any of that. how did this affect your love life and your own ability to feel sexy in your personal lives? did it really make a difference?

did it ever make it worse for anyone? just curious. i already know i want to do this even if we do not stay together. i am doing it for me. but a side beneift woudl certainly be, i think i might enjoy my time with this sweet man a lot more right now.

interested to know, if this is realistic to think.

ok sorry this is long again. thanks everyone very very much for any comments.

oh also - i can't find how to edit this stuff. i also wanted to know - has it ever happened that your love (or you) has found you -less- sexy after this and said they preferred you before? .... or been a turn off for anyone?? really seems most people seem pretty happy about it, even right after when everything hurts n stuff. ok thanks again.

Hello,
I was worried about my Oh's reaction to the scars, and I was even nervous about my scars at first, but now I am not bothered by my scars at all, because I am so happy with the new shape and size to my boobs... as for my OH he has loved my new boobs since I first let him have a look, it definately turned him on seeing them and feeling them for the first time, and he says he doesnt even notice the scaring... so for us it has been better all around, in part because of my new confidence, and in part because my OH just loves the new boobs!

Hi Charms

I totally understand how you feel. I hated my post BA body so much I had sex with a top on and bathed in the dark (even on my own). I had a BA when I was 26 with my then to be husband. It changed my life. I became more confident and sex defo was better. It's so nice that you OH loves you now for who you are and if you have a BA I'm fairly sure he will enjoy your new additions as much as you will. For sure this is something you need to do for you but once you've healed (and you will heal beautifully) then your new confidence in your own body will shine through in every area.

You're a lucky girl to have such a loving OH who sounds like he will be with you whatever your decision.

xxxxxx

I'm so glad uve asked this!
I'm worried about showing my boyfriend too! Although I shouldn't after 5 years he's seen me at my very very worst! But I don't want to freak him out!

Although I'd be very surprised and prob pass out if I get a response other than.... "Are they any different" or "yeah their nice"
My plan is to stand in front of the tv when chelsea are playing show him them then and he'll say "ah babe their amazing" without even looking as then ill move out the way quicker! Hahaha. Xxx

There's a very true saying -

"LOVE IS BLIND"

I really wouldn't worry about what your other half thinks, if he loves you, he'll love you unconditionally and won't care what your boobs are like!

If you want a BA for you then do it! If doing this makes YOU feel sexy then that's great! 'Cos it seems to me from reading you that your man has no problem at all finding you sexy, the problem only lies with you hun, so if fixing your boobs fixes the insecurities you have about them then go for it hun.

My husband begged me not to have a BA, he loved me just the way I was, but he understood my insecurities and supported my decision even though it wasn't something he wanted me to do.

After my surgery, he still loved me, he loves me for me, for who I am, the person inside, the outside shell is just that to him and it seems from reading you your man feels just the same!

Worry not hun, if this is what YOU want for YOU, your man will love you and because of that, you'll always be sexy to him. xx

My plan is to stand in front of the tv when chelsea are playing show him them then and he'll say "ah babe their amazing" without even looking as then ill move out the way quicker! Hahaha. Xxx

omg this made me laugh =so hard= ....... XXX omg. //......

you guys are totally right.. thank you so much for your perspectives! they -really- really helped a lot.

soooooooooooo several awesome things have happened this weekend. it is my birthday at the end of march and i dont get along super well with my mom. // she really rarely supports me in anything. but, i confided that i had been wanting this so long and was trying to save for it and that i was hoping to do it for my birthday this year..

so astoundingly... i was amazed to find out that she immediately supported me.. she said she was sorry i had to suffer and put up with this so long (My daughter just turned 18!) and.. she is sending me $1000 for my birthday, and she told me to do it, and good luck and enjoy myself. /// and you know she has no money she lives on social security herself. /

totally, unbelievable.

sooooooo i talked it over with my sweetie last night, and he was completely supportive and said he would help me with everything and honestly, he seemed really pretty happy about it. i told him i wasn't sure whether to do it in april or may, cause i didn't want to shock him and i wanted to give him time to 'say goodbye' to his 'pillows' (they are his pillows) and he said dont worry, he could see why doing it earlier meant not having all that anticipation and id waited so long, so he said, go for it. he said we will have a viking funeral for my old boobs and a little ceremony hahaaaaaa.......//

// so on monday i am going to see if i can schedule this for mid-april. and maybe be more or less healed by the summer time.

AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH @@@@

miraculous. and, the sex is already better. haha. // and it was pretty freakin good before. //

so the stuff you guys said, really helped, thank you!!!!!!!


ps im super nervous and excited now // ive wanted this like ten years // -gulp-

Fantastic news charms, so happy for you hunni. How lovely of your mum to help you out like that, and to have her support is great too.
Good luck with everything charms. xx

Thats fab news, how lovely of your mum! glad your feeling positive about it all xxxxx

thank you so much! im super thrilled!!!!! aghh!! (they should have an emote of a little person being very excited and exploding hahahaha) ^^

Your man sounds like an absolute angel, i'm lucky to have one of those types too! Its obvious he adores you so to be honest, i really don't think he'd react any differently to you in the bedroom department after your op. The big change you'll notice is in yourself, you'll feel soo much sexier and the whole thing will be even more amazing for both of you. I only had my op tuesday, but had sex for the first time yesterday ( a bit early i know but i felt fine :P) and it was no different to before. My boyfriend was just worried about hurting me but it was totally fine. I think you'll find the same thing, because if you have a man that loves you, he'll adore you no matter how you look :) xxx