I've decided! Now I have to tell my mum...

Hi girls

Sorry, this is going to be a bit of a ramble. In short, I've decided to go ahead but want some advice about telling my mum and info from anyone who has kept their BA a secret.

I've been absent for a while as there's lots going on at home. I've just gone back to work after 10 months mat leave and we're preparing to go on holiday.

As you can tell from my name I've been considering BA, mainly due to the loss of shape following having me two children. I'm a 32C/D but they're what I'd describe as 'empty'. They look okay in a bra with plenty of support, but I'm feeling abit insecure about wearing a bikini on our hols next week.

I've lost all of my baby weight and more and am now really happy with my body, other than my boobs, so I've finally decided to take the plunge. I'll be booking an appt with Mr Majumder at Spire Leeds this week with a view to getting the op in August. It has to be carefully timed as I want to keep it a secret and need the kids to go to my parents so I can recouperate.

I joked about having a BA before I had my son and my mum was a bit shocked. After I had him it came up in conversation, again jokingly, and she said to think long and hard about having more surgery, esp after what happened last time (I've had c-sections with both of my children and this time had some bleeding where they didn't sew me up properly which meant I lost half of my blood volume and was rushed in for emergency surgery and ended up with a blood transfusion). She was talking about Colin Hendry's wife who died after having long term complications, but I've read up a bit and her surgeon was a right cowboy, has been struck off and now only practises abroad (there's a reason to stay in the UK!).

So I'm taking the kids to my mum's for a couple of nights later this week and want to tell her I'm going to go ahead but am really not sure how to broach it. Any ideas? The only thing I can think is that she joked about getting her neck done a few years ago (all the women in our family end up with turkey-necks, nice!) with some inheritance money and when I said she should go for it, she said she would if it made her unhappy enough. I thought I'd use that as my response if she tried to talk me out of it as they do make me unhappy. Any more thoughts?

Also, I really want to be discrete about getting the BA and don't want anyone except close family and two friends to know. Has anyone done this and how did you get away with it? I have an increasing collection of gel bras which I'm planning on wearing on the run up. I don't want massive boobs, but will probably go up to an E cup to fill out what skin I've got (I got to an F when I was breastfeeding so there's room ). Can anyone help with this please?

My parents, children and OH were all against my surgery, I sat and listened to everything they all had to say, like yours going through all the possible complications that could happen and drumming it in that I would be risking those complications for 'elective surgery'

I just said that I respected their opinions, but still wanted the surgery and was going to have it with or without their support, I involved them as much as possible with all my surgery details reassuring them that I wasn't looking to be a posh or a Jordan LOL which it seems is what everyone who hasn't seeked a boob job thinks when you mention BA surgery!

Go well armed with all your info hunni, reassure them that you've done all your research, you've found a good surgeon who specialises in this field and let them know that they can ask as many questions as they like, but they can't change your mind hun. They just care about you babe and need as much info and reassurance as you did when making your decision. xx

Hiya hun, congrats on making the decision to go ahead.

I can't help you with how to tell your mum, because I didn't tell mine, my mum has had alot of ill health so I thought why put her through the worry.

I only told my hubby, my boss (only because I needed the time of work) and one close friend, and guess what, nobody has noticed, or if they have, they haven't said anything. Now that it's a bit warmer and I'm not all trussed up in my jumpers and scarfs, I've had a few glances from different people at work, but I used to wear padded bras anyway, so I don't think they look any different.

I didn't tell any of my three children either. My eldest is away at uni, the other two just accepted my hospital stay was for 'woman problems'
I did feel bad about not telling them, especially my daughter, but I didn't want them to disapprove or think badly of me. No one in the family has noticed.

I think as long as you don't go ridiculously big, you'll be fine hun. xx

Hiya
I am in the same boat as you chick! I have been thinking about it a while now, and done loadsa research (with the help of this trusty site!) and providing I can gather the funds I want to book soon, end of July hopfully.
So! telling the mother is standing in my way! Altho im 26, and havent lived at home for 8 years, I need to get her on side, especially so she can baby sit my 2 kids while I have the op!! (oh, I too lost my boobs thru pregnancy, they are now empty C's)
Shes not strict, or a snob or anything, but shes a worrier and very careful when it comes to money so she wont want me spending so much.
So, im praying that the perfect time to tell her props up in the next few days so I can tell her!!
let us know how you get on!! xx

I was really worried about telling my mum, my parents have always been very protective of me (even thou I'm the eldest) so to tell my mum that I was going to have surgery out of choice was going to be very very hard. I always wanted to tell her because she really is the best mum and knew that I wanted and needed her support and wasn't comfortable doing it without her.

I had done alot of research and had a book full of information, so armed with this I sat her down and told her. I won't lie she was quite distraught at first and actually started crying, but I knew it was because she was worried about me and was so scared of something going wrong. I think when she realised how much I had looked into it and explained it all to her coupled with the fact that I really wanted this, she came round. She said that she would never agree with me having a BA, but understood how important it was to me and if it's really what I wanted then she would be there to support me no matter what.

She was absolutely fantastic throughout the whole thing and even came to one of my consultations to give me her opinion on size and to meet my ps. She even paid for the op in the end. I personally don't know what I would have done without her as I was really poorly PO and my OH wasn't always able to be with me because of working nights.

My advice would be to go in armed with as much information as possible and just explain your reasons for you wanting a BA and how important it is to you. I think it's only natural for those closest to us to be worried and seek to talk us out of it, but stand your ground and they will come round if not now, then eventually. If they don't then just remember you are doing this for YOU hun and nobody else, stick to your guns and do what makes you happy, life is too short!

Good luck, let us know how you get on!

x x

My mum was very upset too, but she did come round, and now she thinks my boobs are fabulous and is always saying how great they are!!! But at first it was awful, she was very annoyed about me doing it. Ride the storm,she will come round.

I didn't tell anyone else but close family/partner either, and have so far got away with it. Gel bras and chicken fillets between now and your op and people will soon be confused about your size and then not know when it changes!!

Good luck xx

I'd been thinking about it since I was 18 and my mum always did her upmost to put me off. Finally after having my son in March and hating the saggy, empty boobs I was left with I decided to go ahead. I had my ba yesterday and I'm soooooo glad I've done it and my mum has accepted it even though the last couple of weeks have been a nightmare with her trying to get me cancel. People need to try and understand although I won't be advertising it to everybody can't be hassled with negative comments xxx

Hi girls

Thanks for all sharing your experiences. I think because I've joked about it before I'll be able to broach the subject. Mum will probably be in the "I don't agree with it, but if it makes you happy," camp. She may never approve, but I'm sure she'll end up being supportive.

She will probably also be worried about the money, but that's between me and my hubby to deal with. We'd convinced ourselves it would only cost £2.5k - not quite sure how cos I have the Spire price list and it clearly says £4.2k-£4.5k Anyhow, it's possible, so we'll find a way.

I have a bra which is gel padded and very structured which basically gives me the look I'm after, so I'm hoping once I point out that this is the size and shape I want (and I won't end up looking like Posh) that she'll feel happier.

Any more advice, replies etc welcome.

Oh, and meant to share with you that my hubby is now helpfully calling Mr Majumder (the ps) Mr Ma-jubblies!

thinkingaboutit2010 wrote:
She was talking about Colin Hendry's wife who died after having long term complications, but I've read up a bit and her surgeon was a right cowboy, has been struck off and now only practises abroad (there's a reason to stay in the UK!).

just seen your post....and yep he WAS a cowboy i had my first ba with him and they both ruptured because of his medical negligence, and i couldnt do a thing about it .when i read up about colin hendry's wife, it turned out he'd operated on me the day after he did hers!! sorry just had to get that off my chest cos not many people had heard of him when i first started asking round when i needed my re-op!

anyway, hope it all goes well with your mum. at the end of the day, its your happiness that counts, and i'm sure your mum will be fine once you've explained how you feel, and you're doing the right thing by researching all the surgeons before deciding who to have x x x