Telling your kids

by littlemisstiny1 16th March 2009, 11:17 am

Hi,

I know I'm jumping the gun a bit here as my op is not yet booked but something that is playing on my mind is how do I tell my kids? I have girls 8 and under and just want to tell them in a way that won't make them:

a) freak out as it is a major op
b) start worrying about their own bodies and what they want to change
c) think it's their fault as they were breastfed!
d) tell all their friends who'll tell all their mums!!

Have even considered not telling them but I'm sure they'll notice when I'm in the shower. Also think I should be honest with them but just not sure quite how to word it all (let's face it, it is a somewhat strange thing to do in the eyes of a 4 yr old!)

Anyway would love to hear anyone's stories of how they told their kids,

Thanks girls!

by amanda2k10 16th March 2009, 12:09 pm

hi hunni
i told my oldest daughter and she is 11 my other kids are 6,4,18m and after my op i just told them i had poorly boobies.
i think they have guessed tho.
my eldest daughter understood as she new how i felt about have no boobs anyway, i know shes only 11 but she acts like shes 18 lol.
i am secretly hoping that my girls have boobs when they are older, although i have had my boobs done im not sure if i would be happy about my kids getting them done.
hugs
amanda
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Heart

by NewbieBoobies 16th March 2009, 1:17 pm

i told my kiddies hun as they do have ears and are brighter than we think ,my son9 freaked one day cus i left them at nannys and he thought i was having them done without telling him ....so anything he wanted to know i told him .they will pick up on it i think anyways and worry more if you keeping something from them ...but thats just my opinion hun ..mum knows best for her kids xxxxxxxxxxxxx

by _Carrie_ 16th March 2009, 1:19 pm

I'm not sure hun - my kids are only 3 and 16 months and I didn't tell them. In fact I still go to great pains for my 3 year old not to see me in the shower/naked as he will ask what the tapes underneath are for! I don't think he'll notice the size difference as he's so young, but I'm keeping my naked moments for private!

When I had it done I told him I had a tummy bug and my tummy was sore, which was why he couldn't cuddle up to me.

I know it's different with older kids - sorry I can't be of more help. I do think the things you listed show that you're really thinking about it though, so I'm sure you'll do the right thing

C x

by NewbieBoobies 16th March 2009, 1:35 pm

my youngest is 2 and i just told him i had a poorly ,it is eaier when they younger altho like you say its the shower and stuff and you need a reason why you cant cuddle them xxxxxxxxx

by _Carrie_ 16th March 2009, 1:40 pm

Yeah it can be tricky, but I think I've got away with it (so far!)...I was just so desperate to keep my ba private and had nightmares about my son telling everyone at nursery!!

It was hard for the first couple of weeks but I was soon able to cuddle them as normal and they soon forget anyway

We should start a thread for how to tell older kids, as it must be really hard working out what you're going to say and how you will say it - I'd never even thought about the guilt/breastfeeding thing!!! Very valid point though...

C x

by bettyboop 16th March 2009, 2:01 pm

I didn't tell any of mine, i didn't want the worry of them telling someone
Mine are 19, 17, 13, 7,5,3, (all boys) the older one's i just said i was going to get some womens stuff sorted, they did ask if it was serious so i told them no i was fine just needed a tweak and the little one's i said i had a poorly tummy and tbh not one of them has noticed. I supose it might have been different if they were girls, but It didn't even cross my mind to tell them.
T x

by littlemisstiny1 16th March 2009, 2:09 pm

You're right, it is a tricky one, but I do agree that little kids probably pick up on stuff more than we think.. Think I will wait until bit nearer the time so they won't have so long to worry about it, but I know mine would definitely notice, girls are so observant!

Thanks for all your comments everyone x

by BlondeBarbie 16th March 2009, 5:26 pm

My daughter was only 7 months when i had my BA (shes 17 months now) so i obv didnt really to tell her lol. Dont know if ill tell her when shes older tho i would if the topic came up x

by **nads** 16th March 2009, 6:25 pm

bettyboop wrote:Mine are 19, 17, 13, 7,5,3, (all boys)

omg BB i forgot about your SIX children!!! All BOYS too!! You must be a wonder woman! x

by bettyboop 16th March 2009, 9:04 pm

omg BB i forgot about your SIX children!!! All BOYS too!! You must be a wonder woman! x

Slightly crazy woman is probabley more apt
Seriously wouldn't be without any one of them.....there's lots of love and happy times with a big family
T x

by **nads** 16th March 2009, 9:06 pm

bettyboop wrote: Slightly crazy woman is probabley more apt
Seriously wouldn't be without any one of them.....there's lots of love and happy times with a big family
T x

:lol:

by mariajw 16th March 2009, 10:59 pm

When I told my eldest daughter I was thinking about having a BA, she told me I should spend the money on something useful, like my funeral!!! I decided not to tell her after that.

I didn't tell my youngest daughter that I was going to have it done. When I was around 4 months PO, my sister found out, and I didn't want my little'un to find out from her. So I decided to tell her myself. I thought that she had some idea because she was used to seeing me coming out of the shower, but she didn't and was genuinely shocked. And I have to say a bit upset that I didn't tell her before. She's fine with it now, and I'm glad I didn't tell her before, as she's quite sensitive and would have worried about it.

I don't think that helps much ... sorry!!

Maria
xx

by moonmar 17th March 2009, 1:15 am

Maria, i think I have commented it on this before, but i think your eldest daughter needs a good slap for a comment like that!

I have no children so I don't know the best way to relate to them on such a matter, but I agree that children, even small, tend to be much more sensitive and observant than we think.... I'm sure it's a hard thing to do but I believe honesty is usually the best, unless the child really is so small that he/she wouldn't understand.

Good luck with it xxxx

by littlemisstiny1 17th March 2009, 11:55 am

Thanks, as if there wasn't enough to worry about with having a ba!

ps Moonmar what are you doing up at 1.15am, shouldn't you be resting and getting some sleep in to recuperate??!!! :lol:

xx

by Nicky19781 17th March 2009, 11:55 pm

I have two children (boy 7 and girl 5) and when I went into hospital I told them mummy was going to a health spa for the night and I was going to have my hair and nails done and a 'boob job' lol, They didn't ask too many questions and I just told them mummy would have bigger boobies when I got back!!! i didn't want to scare them by mentioning 'hospital' or 'operation'. they have asked a few questions since I had them done but they dont really understand..... only prob was I had them done just before half term in February and when I picked my children up from school on their first day back my 5 year old daughter said she had told her teacher that 'mummy had a boob job and her boobies look massive in the bath!!!' oh dear god! Hysterical

Nicky x x x

by littlemisstiny1 18th March 2009, 1:44 pm

That's hilarious! Well I'm sure teachers hear all kinds of funny things from the little ones - my daughter told her teacher that her daddy has a really big willy that looks like a snake in the bath!! Hysterical

I think it will be very hard for my kids to keep this to themselves (but I do like the health spa explanation, def makes it seem much less worrying for them, might use that one!)

xxx

by Tinaw34 18th March 2009, 2:25 pm

Nicky/Littlemisstiny - I have just spat my drink out over the laptop, laughing at your kids comments!!!

Not sure what to tell mine, do like the health spa option tho, might use that one! eldest is 3 1/2 and younger one is 16 months. Older one is very observent tho, so will probably notice!! Just hoping he does't tell his nursery teachers...!

However, whenever I tell the older one, that mummy isn't well, he's always very good and keeps asking if I'm feeling better and can he do anything to help! Now how long can I keep saying that mummy doesn't feel well, so that he behaves whilst I'm recovering?????!!!! xx

by Nicky19781 19th March 2009, 11:06 am

Yeah I really hope I wasn't the talk of the staffroom that day! Blush

Kids are more aware and clever than we think! Id defo try to be quite honest with them as I was, and yeah I would 100% recommend the health spa story

Good luck

Nicky x x x

by missmarie60 20th March 2009, 8:01 pm

hi, i told my 17yr old son what i was planning, he was a bit shocked but said as long as i was doing it for the right reasons he was happy for me.. the biggest challenge is my granddaughter who is 10 going on 20...she will notice straight away so i need to work out what to tell her so that she does'nt tell 'the whole world and its mother' cos she will :lol: she loves gossipy news and boy oh boy will she be lovin the fact that 'nana marie' is having a boob job Hysterical

by littlemisstiny1 21st March 2009, 5:33 pm

Well done for telling your son - bet that was a bit tricky!

I'm thinking that I'm probably going to tell most people anyway so if my daughter does let it slip it won't be the end of the world.

Good luck! x

by missmarie60 21st March 2009, 9:29 pm

i think in this day and age most people know someone who has had implants, and most people dont make much of it.
the kids today seem to be growing up with 'cosmetic surgery' being the norm these days. i'm pretty open with most things so telling my son was ok for me. he will be looking after me post-op as my OH left us 19mths ago,(after 20 yrs) dont think he realises the full extent of how often he has to vacuum etc tho :lol: he is enrolling his best mate who can drive to take him grocery shopping etc, so he wanted me to tell him,(hes been abroad with us and seen me in a bikini) as he said he would guess anyway, so that felt a bit awkward. his reply was..thats a bit random..so whats brought that on then?..i felt about 8 not 48 Hysterical

but they're great lads and i know i will be well looked after

by littlemisstiny1 22nd March 2009, 11:03 am

That's amazing, you are truly lucky to have such a kind and understanding son (and at 17 too that is impressive!)

Sounds like this is part of a whole new start for you - I wish you all the best and hope to hear how things go (I've only got my 1st consultation in 2 weeks so prob few months to wait... :pale:

We will soon have new Flash

!!

xx

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