Family and boyfriend not supportive

Hi All
So things have been going great :-) have healed well and havent had much pain.

At the weekend my sister told me in front of my mum after I showed her a picture of a dress I have ordered for my friends wedding that I was a tart because of my boob job and thinking that I could go to a wedding in a dress that showed that much cleavage was not appropriate.

Needless to say I ended up saying some stuff and left my mums house and it has caused even more of a rift between me and my mum and my sister, those of you that have read my BA story will know thats an ongoing saga.

Tonight my boyfriend who has been great through it all said he does not like the dress either and he doesnt want me going out wearing it with too much boob on display and if he thought that was one of the reasons for me wanting to get a BA then he would not have supported me. I explained that wasnt one of the reasons and I bought the dress because of it being flattering and its not as easy as it used to be to get clothes, especially dresses to look right.
He said there is more to me than my boobs and liked the understated black body con dress that I showed him tonight rather than the silver one.
I have told my friend about it but it hasnt really been of much help.

Just wanted to tell you girls about it as I am sure that you know what I am feeling like! The fact that my boyfriend has said that to me has really affected me and dont really know if it is going to get any better, its not like my boobs are going to go away. He still isnt really over the moon about them now and didnt really want me to have it done in the first place.
Lots of love
Grace
xxx

hi grace,
i believe 1st and formost you should have surgery because it is you that wants it(needs it etc),it obviously helps if those around you are supportive.i dreaded telling my parents and already had my case arguements lined up.i was speechless when they didnt really comment.my dad didnt understand why,so i just said to him,imagine one day waking up and your mister bits being half the size they used to be.he soon became supportive,he's even taking me to the consultation as my husband is working lol.
dont let others get you down you live your life for you and if others cant fit in with you sod em.enjoy your new friends they look great and hopefully YOU are happy with them
mel x

[moved from breast augmentation]

Awww sweetheart, c'mere

Without seeing the dress it's hard to comment, but the reactions from those around you sound quite shocked that you would wear it and maybe their reactions stem from that hunni rather than them being nasty (although the tart commnet was rather nasty).

Is the style of dress something you wouldn't have worn pre-Ba?

I know with a lot of men no matter how supportive they are of their ladies having their BAs it can often be difficult for them to deal with the attention you get and maybe it's that your OH is concerned about Grace and he feels protective of you and to avoid possible confrontation whilst he's out, he's taking that out on you now? Some guys just need some reassurance no matter how supportive they were pre-op.

I think your sister was out of order though and there's possibly a touch of the green eyed monster there?

If you're comfortable in the dress and feel good Grace then you wear it hunni and have a lovely time at the wedding. xx

Do you not think they could have a point, people who love you, don't usually say things because they are jealous, and what you may think could differ from their opinion, loads of men like to look at woman with big bust, doesn't mean their thoughts are on marriage, more like the bedroom for 10 mins.
Try to stand out of the situation and look at it from their point, if you think its just jealousy and embarrasment on your familys part, then ignore the advice and go for it, better a night out with a dress on you like, than enjoying the night with someone would loves and respects you !

Awww hun I hope you're okay.

It takes a while to get used to your boobs and even when you are used to them, those around you might not be.

I agree with Cookie that it sounds as if your sister is jealous. Jealousy is a strange thing and it can make people be really nasty.

It also sounds like your boyfriend is a bit worried about men eyeing up your new additions and therefore he doesn't want you to wear the dress as he feels threatened.

Your boobs are still quite new, I think it will just take a while for your boyfriend to stop feeling insecure. It's not very nice what he said to you, and it's definitely not nice what your sister said.

As long as you are happy, then that is all that matters.

Have you got a link to the dress so we can have a look?

xxx

Grace~

Do what makes you happy! If you feel good and look good shake them haters off! Your OH is probably just being overprotective. I have my BA on Friday and have not told a single member of my fam except my hubs. Don't want to listen to the drama! Sisters are generally competitive and maybe she knows she compete with your boobies! Hope it gets better!

Thanks for all your kind and helpful words girls.
After I posted we had another chat about it and he said he doesnt want to me with a Katie Price wannabe which was a bit unfair I thought.
I told him that I am not going to feel down and feel like I have to have my outfits vetted by him before I buy anything or go out because I love my boobs and they have made me so happy.
The dress is not really something I would have worn before my BA cookie namely because I didnt have the boobs to put it in!
As I said I have ordered another dress that I guess you would say is a lot more classic.
He said he doesnt want me to be trashy (like Kaie P) but sophisticated and elegant. I dont really think thats what I was before but there we go. I am not going to start flashing my boobs juts because I have got some good ones now but Im not gonna hide them either!
Lots of love
Grace
xxx

well done you,positive attitude equalls positive mind,
take care
mel x

i feel your fella is feeling rather insecure as u now have these big boobs and people will look its only natural as for your family im sorry they are not
xxx

Sounds like a good compromise :)

I think alot of guys worry that when their partner has BA they are going to go off with someone else, so I think it will probs just take him sometime to get use to them. As for your family well sometimes my mum will let me know if she thinks my tops a little low, but as long as you feel confident and happy then I'd wear what I want. x

aww how difficult for you!
there are trashy dresses like jodie marsh's, and there are classy boobie dresses like marilyn monroe's! I wear dresses that show cleavage that are still classy looking and very flattering that i would have never worn bopob-less..and when i started wearing them a female friend of mine was like "WHOAH put them away yeh??!" and would make inappropriate comments...yet people who didn't know the flat chested me say how lovely my dress is and how elegant i look.

I say...get em out, you wouldn't keep a designer handbag in your closet so why keep those bad boys under wraps! hehehe

Hun, I say go for it! If it makes you happy don't let anyone take that away from you. One of the reasons I'm doing my BA is that there are so many clothes I wish I could wear but could never fill them out naturally

Wearing a non reavealing dress you might as well have fillets but something slightly revealing gives you the confidence that comes with your new boobs.

If you have a picture of it post the link on here so we can tell you what we think.

I think what your boyfriend is really saying is "reassure me"

Hey chick, It would seem hat it takes other people time to adjust to you now having a sizable bust, and it sucks that you should have to deal with negativinty. I've just brought a kick ass dress and it will show my bust off (when i get them). Showed it to a friend who was not terribly complimentary about it. I think people get used to you and your body a certain way and they feel safe with that. Now you have boobs they are reacting badly to that change. Wear the dress with pride girl you only live once!! Confiedence is infectious and I'm sure that they will get used to it! xo

Thanks Jaybles!
And thanks girls you have been so supportive it, dont know what I would have done without you all
The dress turned up today and turns out it doesnt fit round my boobs anyway so it seems to be OK at the moment, will have to see what the black one looks like :-)
Lots of love
Grace

You didnt spend thousands of pounds to hide them away did you! your sisters just being jealous! and your boyfriends being insecure! I'm sure you look hot in that dress! i personally think you should wear it :D xxxx

I have to say Grace that I think I have been really lucky nobody round me has had anything negative to say. Everybody I know knew about it as it would have been so obvious, and to be truthful I dont care what they think anyway.

The only person I cared about was my husband. Luckily he has been right behind me. When I went shopping for a dress i took him with me so he could give his opinion, as he is naturally a jealous person. I was really surprised at the dress he chose because although my boobs wasnt exactly on show, you could DEFINATELY see them!!!!

I really do think that if you have been so unhappy about your boobs pre op, all your friends and family would be right behind you now if they wasnt jealous......... Sod um all......... thats what I say xxx

Thanks for all your kind comments girls!
I am off to the wedding tonight and I am wearing a black shift dress. Its the most understated I have been in my life and its funny because I wore a lot more showy things pre op!
Its nice though and after not finding anything yesterday when I went shopping I just feel lucky to have something to wear at all!
Lots of love
Grace
xxx

Have a lovely time tonight Grace, I'm sure you'll look gorgous whatever you wear hun. xx

alfie wrote:Have a lovely time tonight Grace, I'm sure you'll look gorgous whatever you wear hun. xx

Hi Alfie
Thanks so much for your kind words :-)
I did look nice actually if I do say so myself in my black dress. I will upload a pic later so you can have a look :-)
The new bra I bought specially for the dress was great and my boobs looked great and not fake at all so really really pleased!
Lots of love
Grace
xxx

Look forward to seeing the pic hun, so pleased you were happy with your outfit. Did you have a good time? xx

Hey lovely, only just seen this post, so firstly a big hug to you

I'm glad you had a lovely time at the wedding hun and you managed to find a gorgeous dress, I'm sure you would have looked fab whatever you would have worn.

I definately think your bf is being insecure, sounds like he needs time to get used to them. I guess he feels that you will get unwanted attention, but that's no reason not to wear what you want hun. He probably just needs alittle reassurance. In the meantime don't listen to any negative comments and do what makes YOU happy hun, you had your BA for YOU afterall, not to make others happy.

Keep positive babe and keep smiling x x