I'm confused girls..what should I do??
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bettyboop
amanda2k10
kellyrobbo
nads
mariajw
moonmar
emrussell79
ShootingStar
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I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I really don't want to go into my story again so for those who have followed and up to date with my situation would you please give me your opinion.
Do you think i'm right in staying with the same surgeon or do you think i should go elsewhere and pay for another BA??
It's going around and around in my head and i just don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not.
Thanks girlies xx xx
Do you think i'm right in staying with the same surgeon or do you think i should go elsewhere and pay for another BA??
It's going around and around in my head and i just don't know if i'm doing the right thing or not.
Thanks girlies xx xx
ShootingStar- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6917
Location : u.k
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
hiya hunnie, thats a tough one. Do you think the surgeon could have done anything different? I mean if you think any of what happened to you was down to him then yes, i would say consider going somewhere else but if there was nothing he could have done to prevent what happened then i would probs say go back and get it fixed for free.
At the end of the day you need to feel 100% happy with where and who you go to so if yo have doubts hun then maybe you should look else where.
Sorry if thats no help! xx
At the end of the day you need to feel 100% happy with where and who you go to so if yo have doubts hun then maybe you should look else where.
Sorry if thats no help! xx
emrussell79- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 317
Location : North Yorkshire
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
emrussell79 wrote:hiya hunnie, thats a tough one. Do you think the surgeon could have done anything different?
I think he could have dealt with it better at the time but then again if i don't have anything to compare him to i don't really know whether he could've or not, it's so confusing.
It wasn't his fault it happened though. The internal bleeding started up after i was stitched up so only drains would have spotted it and he never gave me any despite it saying in his BA criteria he used them.
Thanks for your opinion hun, it does help xx
ShootingStar- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6917
Location : u.k
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I think what you could do before deciding whether to stay with your surgoen, is having a consultation with a couple of different ones to see what they say about your situation, and if you feel any safer in their hands... then decide... you wanna make sure that your final result is going to be the best you can get. I think in your situation you could even be able to get it done fairly easily through the NHS although I don't know how it works.
xxx
xxx
moonmar- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 1377
Location : London
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Hey SS
I think you should possibly have a couple of consultations with surgeons here to get their opinions. They may also be able to advise about the scar tissue that you have now and if they'll be able to do anything about it.
I know my surgeon, Simon Withey does reconstructive surgery, and with MyBreast, you can get as many consults for £25 as you like. It would be worth having the opinion of some other surgeons too. And even if you don't use them, you'll be better informed of the process and have more confidence when you do get it done.
Maria
xx
I think you should possibly have a couple of consultations with surgeons here to get their opinions. They may also be able to advise about the scar tissue that you have now and if they'll be able to do anything about it.
I know my surgeon, Simon Withey does reconstructive surgery, and with MyBreast, you can get as many consults for £25 as you like. It would be worth having the opinion of some other surgeons too. And even if you don't use them, you'll be better informed of the process and have more confidence when you do get it done.
Maria
xx
mariajw- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 2252
Location : Suffolk
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I agree, good advice MM. Get some consults in hun, i would go with a surgeon who is good at reconstructive work like Maria's and my surgeon is also a reconstructive specialist. What is your gut feeling hun? xmoonmar wrote:I think what you could do before deciding whether to stay with your surgoen, is having a consultation with a couple of different ones to see what they say about your situation, and if you feel any safer in their hands... then decide... you wanna make sure that your final result is going to be the best you can get.
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Thanks girls, i wouldn't know where to start regarding a consultation, what would i say? and should i tell my current surgeon??
Another worry is incase another surgeon runs mine down just to get money out of me, i have a huge trust issue in surgeon's after what's happened and that's why i'm so confused what to do next, my gut feeling changes regularly from trusting my surgeon to not trusting any!!
This is such a dilemma to be in xx
Another worry is incase another surgeon runs mine down just to get money out of me, i have a huge trust issue in surgeon's after what's happened and that's why i'm so confused what to do next, my gut feeling changes regularly from trusting my surgeon to not trusting any!!
This is such a dilemma to be in xx
ShootingStar- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6917
Location : u.k
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I can definately understand why you feel like that hun, i wouldnt know who to trust either but at least if something were to occur again you wouldnt have to travel etc. Most companies have great aftercare and a good surgeon wouldnt try and get money out of you, im sure. I would definately recommend my surgeon or any BAAPS/Mybreast surgeon as most of them are NHS surgeons and are reconstructive specialists. I know one Mybreast surgeon (cant remember if it was SH or SW actually had a girl with tuberous breasts come in once and he said you dont have to pay for this, wrote a letter to her GP and said he would do it under his NHS post which is amazing
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
hi hun..
i think there are pros and cons to boths really..
if you go with your original surgeon, he knows your whole story, he knows what to look out for and how best to deal with you and your situation. like you said, he may be could have handled it different to begin with but by the sounds of it he done everything he can to sort it out for you...
the best thing, in my opinion, about getting another surgeon is the fact that you would be closer to home. i think that would be a huge factor in it if it was something i had to decide... with all the problems you've had, you may need a few follow up appointments after your op to make sure everything is happening as it should be, i think being able to get to the clinic easily would be invaluable hun..
i think, like the others, getting a few consutations with some different surgeons would be a really good idea. see what they say and go from there hun..
hope you're doing ok babe, not spoke to you for a bit..
kelly
xxx
i think there are pros and cons to boths really..
if you go with your original surgeon, he knows your whole story, he knows what to look out for and how best to deal with you and your situation. like you said, he may be could have handled it different to begin with but by the sounds of it he done everything he can to sort it out for you...
the best thing, in my opinion, about getting another surgeon is the fact that you would be closer to home. i think that would be a huge factor in it if it was something i had to decide... with all the problems you've had, you may need a few follow up appointments after your op to make sure everything is happening as it should be, i think being able to get to the clinic easily would be invaluable hun..
i think, like the others, getting a few consutations with some different surgeons would be a really good idea. see what they say and go from there hun..
hope you're doing ok babe, not spoke to you for a bit..
kelly
xxx
kellyrobbo- Active BJSF Member
- Number of posts : 92
Location : cyprus
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I notice how none of you have said "stay with your PS" so i guess the right thing to do is to seek a second opinion with another PS just to see if i am and have had the correct treatment i suppose, i hope i have the guts to do that.
Thanks Kel i'm not too bad in myself hun, just a bit worried about the state of the natural breast line now, will update pic diary the weekend so you can all see what i mean.
It's totally messed up, if you think of the natural breast line running along your chest then stick an upside down V in the centre of it that's how it is!
xx xx
Thanks Kel i'm not too bad in myself hun, just a bit worried about the state of the natural breast line now, will update pic diary the weekend so you can all see what i mean.
It's totally messed up, if you think of the natural breast line running along your chest then stick an upside down V in the centre of it that's how it is!
xx xx
ShootingStar- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6917
Location : u.k
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I wouldn't definitely advise you not to stay with your current PS, but because you are in doubt, I would never say not to ask someone else as well, even just to make sure that you are going about it the right way. As Nads says, if you look for a surgeon who also works for the NHS, they might end up putting you on their NHS list...
And I wouldn't tell anything to your current surgeon yet, only if you do decide to go with someone else.
And yes you DO have the guts to do that hun, you are our brave chick! :P ...it's about your wellbeing so do everything you can xxx good luck and let us know
And I wouldn't tell anything to your current surgeon yet, only if you do decide to go with someone else.
And yes you DO have the guts to do that hun, you are our brave chick! :P ...it's about your wellbeing so do everything you can xxx good luck and let us know
moonmar- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 1377
Location : London
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
hi hunni
i too agree with the other girls about more consultations like moonmar said especially if your in doubt.
good luck with making your decision hunni i know its a big thing!!!!!!!!
lots of hugs
amanda
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i too agree with the other girls about more consultations like moonmar said especially if your in doubt.
good luck with making your decision hunni i know its a big thing!!!!!!!!
lots of hugs
amanda
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
amanda2k10- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 473
Location : uk
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Hi SS
I can understand why you would find this such a hard decission. I agree with the other girls about more consults.That way which ever choice you make you'll be more confident it's the right one.
T x
I can understand why you would find this such a hard decission. I agree with the other girls about more consults.That way which ever choice you make you'll be more confident it's the right one.
T x
bettyboop- Active BJSF Member
- Number of posts : 124
Location : Germany
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Have you discussed this with your GP? They should know of the best surgeons in your area you coud see. I completely understand your trust issue but also think another surgeon may not be too keen to fix anothers work. I would however want to be close to home rather than travel again if it was me.
Your journey is so hard I hope we all help you in some small way.
xx
Your journey is so hard I hope we all help you in some small way.
xx
annefinackapan- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 1260
Location : liverpool
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I agree too SS. I think you would be wise to get a couple of consults with recontructive specialists and just see how you feel about them. I think lots would agree that you get a gut feeling about a surgeon.
I can see the pros with staying with your previous ps but I can also see the pros with getting someone closer to home.
It's a toughie but I'm positive you'll make the right decision for you...
C x
I can see the pros with staying with your previous ps but I can also see the pros with getting someone closer to home.
It's a toughie but I'm positive you'll make the right decision for you...
C x
_Carrie_- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 615
Location : South-West
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
ShootingStar wrote:emrussell79 wrote:hiya hunnie, thats a tough one. Do you think the surgeon could have done anything different?
I think he could have dealt with it better at the time but then again if i don't have anything to compare him to i don't really know whether he could've or not, it's so confusing.
It wasn't his fault it happened though. The internal bleeding started up after i was stitched up so only drains would have spotted it and he never gave me any despite it saying in his BA criteria he used them.
Thanks for your opinion hun, it does help xx
Hi Laura.. its-a me.x
I'm gonna be honest here and hope I don't upset you, but you know me...?
So here goes..
I 've just read through all this and have highlighted the bit that I think says to me that you DO know the answer...
Let me explain...all through this trauma, you have tried to "stick up" for your surgeon, saying all this couldn't be helped, but reading between the lines, Laura, I think I would wholeheartedly say that he IS to blame, in more ways than one, and if you re-read what you wrote, you'll see that you blame him too, but something prevents you from fully admitting it.
First you say the internal bleeding began after you were stitched up...this can happen, and I think I understand this is either indicated by a rise in temperature, or the use of drains to prevent it. You had no drains (and now admit it was on the criteria) and it appears you had an insufficient check-up post op to ensure everything was ok. Both is a failure of care.
Secondly, you say you think he could have handled it better at the time, so do you suspect he didn't do all that was necessary before releasing you to go home? Bearing in mind you had to travel back to the uk.. surely this should factor in ensuring EVERYTHING is 100% with you, as a patient, before you are signed out.
How was you before you left for home? Did you feel ok, and well?
The point is, hun, I think you have little faith in this man, and as such was your fear of returning back for the explant, but in the situation you were in, you saw this as the lesser of the evils.. it simply HAD to be done.
Now you have the prospect of returning... that's you're problem. You know deep down that you DON'T trust this man to do this again, and you are justifying your thinking you have no option, by trying to convince yourself that it wasn't his fault....
Am I making sense?
I think if you search your heart and soul, you will know the answers you need.
I agree with the others that you NEED to seek advice from your doctor, and another surgeon (perhaps your doctor would recommend one, or even refer you to one) as then you will have other specialist opinions to work with, to help you decide.
And if you end up going with somewhere closer to home,then,as has been said, you'll have better access to aftercare, which will put all or minds at rest.
Maybe I'm wrong, hun, but I'm just giving an opinion here, and hope someone may point out if I'm wrong...its all about getting a balance in your mind. That's most important. YOU have to feel right about your choice.
You've nothing to lose by seeking more advice through your doctor, have you?
Thinking of you, darling... I really wish I could help more...I really do.
Hugs forever..
Allie xxx
babeedoll27- Active BJSF Member
- Number of posts : 119
Location : United Kingdom
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Allie i appreciate your reply and one thing i can count on is your honesty, you have always been 100% with me and you know exactly what's going on here.
I can't say anything i've read in that reply is not spot on.
You have hit the nail on the head, i have said in a pm to ng how i'm afraid to be honest regarding the treatment i've had and how i feel unable to say how it is just incase my surgeon see's and then i'm left like this.
Yes my blood pressure went up and caused the bleed and i was left for a while begging for help, my OH noticed the breast was much bigger instantly after my return to the ward but it was dismissed as nothing to worry about, it was some 2 hrs later i was rushed back to theatre and then the surgeon made some holes and only drained 300mls and gave up because i was crying in pain and he left me with a huge swelling still there. There was no attempt to check if a bleed was still occuring i was told i'd have to wait 6months for it to absorb in my body and sent home.
Then the incident in my bathroom when it worked it's way out by the scar giving way.
I feel neglected in a way and as a result my breast is disfigured there's no doubt about that, it's a mess underneath and i just can't see him fixing it, I keep thinking i'm going to have this implant put back in under local and still have this disfigurement, he can't repair that under a local surely?
I'm scared and don't know what to do next, i will seek advice from another surgeon and take it from there.
Thank you for your opinions Allie, you've helped me more than you'll ever know. xx
You're all right, I will start arranging some consultations asap.
xx xx
I can't say anything i've read in that reply is not spot on.
You have hit the nail on the head, i have said in a pm to ng how i'm afraid to be honest regarding the treatment i've had and how i feel unable to say how it is just incase my surgeon see's and then i'm left like this.
Yes my blood pressure went up and caused the bleed and i was left for a while begging for help, my OH noticed the breast was much bigger instantly after my return to the ward but it was dismissed as nothing to worry about, it was some 2 hrs later i was rushed back to theatre and then the surgeon made some holes and only drained 300mls and gave up because i was crying in pain and he left me with a huge swelling still there. There was no attempt to check if a bleed was still occuring i was told i'd have to wait 6months for it to absorb in my body and sent home.
Then the incident in my bathroom when it worked it's way out by the scar giving way.
I feel neglected in a way and as a result my breast is disfigured there's no doubt about that, it's a mess underneath and i just can't see him fixing it, I keep thinking i'm going to have this implant put back in under local and still have this disfigurement, he can't repair that under a local surely?
I'm scared and don't know what to do next, i will seek advice from another surgeon and take it from there.
Thank you for your opinions Allie, you've helped me more than you'll ever know. xx
You're all right, I will start arranging some consultations asap.
xx xx
ShootingStar- Moderator
- Number of posts : 6917
Location : u.k
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Oh hun I had no idea you were treated like that... don't worry about your surgeon seeing anything, there are plenty of ways in which you can be fixed and going with the same surgeon is not the only way. Maybe he has lots of other happy patients but it's YOU we are talking about and I certainly wouldn't want to go back where I felt I had not been given the right kind of care.
Good luck with your decision
Good luck with your decision
moonmar- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 1377
Location : London
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Aww, I had no idea, either. That must have been so scary. He really did let you down.
Maria
xx
Maria
xx
mariajw- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 2252
Location : Suffolk
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
Me niether, it all sounds awful. I'm glad you've decided to get some more consults, i think it'll really put your mind at ease when it comes to choosing who to have your re-implant with, you'll be more confident you've made the right choice. I'm sure with the right person on the job the end results will be great. Good luck with your decision making.
Chin up
T x
Chin up
T x
bettyboop- Active BJSF Member
- Number of posts : 124
Location : Germany
Re: I'm confused girls..what should I do??
I just want to say lovely, I think the girls have really helped you decide. They really are amazing, and we all really care about you.
You surgeon sould like he did all he could when you had the problems over here, but I honestly think he may have underestimated the seriousness of the problem straight after your surgery. I don't think there was any maliciousness in it, maybe just poor judgement and lack of hindsight.
There's no harm in seeing a few surgeons. Maybe see your GP too and see if they can refer you, even if it's for the scarring.
xx
You surgeon sould like he did all he could when you had the problems over here, but I honestly think he may have underestimated the seriousness of the problem straight after your surgery. I don't think there was any maliciousness in it, maybe just poor judgement and lack of hindsight.
There's no harm in seeing a few surgeons. Maybe see your GP too and see if they can refer you, even if it's for the scarring.
xx
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