How/when to tell children

I am just wondering how/when (how close to BA) or if, you told your children about your BA. I have 3 daughters aged 9 years, 6 years and 5 years and I'm not sure what to say to them?? X

Hi, honey! I'm only 20 and I haven't got kids so I doubt I'm the best person to answer your question. However, if I did have kids, and when I do have them, I don't think I'd mention my BA to the younger ones or even the 9 year old. The thing is, you don't know what kind of things they'll imagine. Kids hear the word 'operation' and imagine awful images in their heads! Thoughts of blood and even death may pop into their heads. Even though it's just a minor procedure, and you know that, kids won't necessarily know that it's a very low-risk operation. I think you could tell your eldest child about it after you've had it done.. But I personally wouldn't say anything before the op as I wouldn't want to worry their little heads. It would be much more beneficial to yourself and them if you told them afterwards as it will save them from worrying and possibly having bad dreams about it and it will also save you from explaining about the procedure and reassuring them :)

I hope you're well, honey! Good luck in whatever decision you make :) xxxxx

I have told my eldest who is 11, and we were chatting about it in the car earlier while travelling to my mums. She understands why I want to do this and she is fine and so supportive of me. She has said she will do everything she can to look after me after run op as she will be on her half term for 2 weeks. I have told her about the risks but she also knows how down my boobs make me feel. I have always spoken openly and honest with my kids and try not to hide anything. My youngest is only 3 so not really said to much to her as she is too young to understand fully but I have told her that mummy is going to have sore boobies for a while and I won't be able to pick her up for a while too. 

Xx

Tigertonix, I keep chopping and changing my mind about telling my eldest. She is very sensible (I often have to remind her she isn't mummy and doesn't have to worry about things, her job is to have fun!) I think she would understand my reasons as I too have always been honest and open with her about things . I would be interested to know what other ladies have done though! X

I told my son just today a week before my op but he's 15 & just shrugged & said ok. He is a very laid back lad ha ha ha!!!!!  I think only u can judge how your kids will be. It does sound like your eldest would be fine as your already open with her on things. Good luck. They will be fine whatever u decide xx

Well if you do decide to tell her then good luck, babe! She sounds very grown up for her age so maybe you should tell her to maintain the trusting relationship you have with her..
All the best xxxx

There's no right or wrong answer , some ladies choose to tell their children others don't and opt with bad back, or something. 

Personally it told my boys aged 10 and 7, not in detail but that I was having surgery and in all honesty they didn't say anything, and wernt interested in the slightest! 

I think you know your children better than anyone and how they'd react or if they'd tell other people etc.

So it's a descion that's entirely up to you. X

I'm not worried about them telling other people really. My friend works at the hospital where I'm having my BA, she borrowed the sizing implants so I could play with sizes at home and try in some clothes etc. she told her 11 year old son that I was borrowing them and he obviously put 2 and 2 together and has told the rest of year 6 I'm having my boobs done!!!

I think I will talk to my eldest as she may feel a bit hurt that I haven't told her otherwise

Xx

Hi - I think it's quite hard especially with girls not to tell them, & I've been thinking about this myself. My eldest is nearly 8 & she doesn't miss a trick!!! Being a girl she always wanders in the bathroom when I'm in there etc so I'm sure she will notice something and ask!! I'm not sure how I will reply yet though!!! So difficult! 

Just noticed your in Hampshire - do u mind me asking where your having your ba ? 

Xc

Moomins, I'm going to spire hospital portsmouth (it used to be bupa, and it's actually in Havant!). Have you got your BA booked? Where abouts are you? X

I'm in Wiltshire but probably using spire in Southampton (surgeon comes into Wiltshire once a month so more flexibility on dates in Southampton) 
Hopefully mr khan 

You must b really excited

Hi my eldest likes to ear wig he is 13 I was telling my friend and he overed heard he was bit embarrassed but said if I need help as it's an op and will be unwell which I thought was sweet of him but oh is gona be doing it all lol my others knw I'm going the hospital and will be sore but dnt knw why I feel they would just find it funny and confusing as I was doing the rice test and my 5 yr old seen me with them and went mad shouting to take them off so she would be confused it's just how much info they need just explain your going the hospital it's nothing bad but you will be ok but tired and sore for few days

Moomins I am SOOOOOOOOO excited :-) I considered Southampton too. Have you had your consultation yet? X

Lacey, I think my girls have probably picked up on things too, so it won't come as too much of a shock!! X

Hope it goes well Hun x

My youngest is 2 - so didn't tell him anything haha - he came into my room at hospital and I tried to tell him I was staying there hehe, and then after I showed him my ows and he was really gentle with me. My daughter is 6 and I told her I was going to hospital for a wee thing but question after question after a million questions later I told her I was getting surgery etc and I would be in over night etc.. just last night I told her exactly what happened as we have been talking about people being different at the moment and just said that some girls don't get them and some get huge ones and sometimes people are sad because of the way some things are and some people get drs to change them to make them feel happier. She came with me to the clinic today so I showed her the implants laying about and such.. although my daughter is really quick and savvy for a 6 year, tell them what you feel they can cope with. I had to explain as my little girl thought It was serious and I might die :/ so I would rather explain it all to her in her terms rather than be worried about her mummy... She's been a right good help with me since I had it done 7 days ago :D xxx good luck telling your kiddies :D

My 2 aged 3 and 8 when.u had my reop.there in.nov think.I.had and op.under my arms

I.just feel that they didn't need to know and don't want my.eldest thinking u.need to have boobs xx

Tinkerbell, that's my worry- I don't want them to get any body hang ups - but they will notice as I am so small at the moment!!

I was trying a bikini.on.an.mia walked in and said oh wow do u buy bikinis that have boobs in them lol

They might notice just say they grew xx

I told my son who is 9, he needed to know I was going to be fragile and as I had to explain to him with my boyfriend was going to stay with us for two weeks.  he didn't really care as long as I was healthy and explained that mummy isn't ill,  she hasn't had an operation because she's ill so don't worry.

Hi Hun - seeing consultant on 11th march & proving all goes well I'm ready to book straight after!!!

Good luck - I wish my appointment would hurry up!!!
Xxx

They don't have to have body hang ups - but they will soon learn in the real world that people change a lot of things about themselves... I have a lot of gay friends and so my daughter knows a little bit about how people are different in size, colour, gender, whether they are strsight or gay and also about what they can change about their bodies... I was brought up knowing this and it becomes normal and they just accept it for what it is at face value... just because you explain something doesn't mean they will feel pressured or feel like they have to do it too if you do it in the right way :) and just because mummy got a BA doens't mean she will want one, you still bring them up believing in themselves and if unfortunately it comes to that in later years, she can come to you for advice as mummy has been through it already :) rather than being a secret taboo :) good luck xxx

Kati, yes put like that, I don't know why I've been worrying!! We have always been open with the girls about different life choices - I came downstairs not that long ago to find my 9 (then 8) year old daughter filling in my (childless and slightly panicked!) friend with all the facts of gay marriage!! ;-)

You are absolutely right, it doesn't mean she will have any hang ups and I think I'm going to have a chat with her - thanks Kati xx

that alright B'sboobs :)
I think talking about this stuff is the key to be honest. I have such a huge close relationship with my mum and we have always talked about everything, getting deeper with issues and such the older I got... a wee a explaination is needed and maybe a few questions at the beginning and then when you come home with them but then she will completely accept it and you and then it will be the back of head and not really thought of again and I would really doubt she would have any more body hang ups than if you never told them.
Just as she gets older and if you hadn't told her - she'll realise and wonder why you never said anything...
I always honest with my kids and tell them as much info as I feel they need to know at the age they are :)

I hope it goes ok for you :) xxxx

I think that just after me having to go through consultations and councelling for my own body problems and knowing hwow I felt etc I want to just let my girls grow into their own skin

Both my kids know that in this world there are all sorts of race religions and disabilities and also that some people in the worrl might look different but are just the same as us, not to stare and if they need to know things then ask, so I know that if the girls want to ask about boobs, boys etc etc then they will

Ellie our youngest was born prem with many health problems, CP being one and then she ended up in a double spica cast after having no hip for months near a year infact

Kids eh some of them are too wise xx

Hi babe, I wouldn't worry too much about telling your daughter! I think to a kid, it's not to much of a big deal and I agree with Tiger, they could start imaging all sorts. I don't have any children but when I do, I wont be telling them. I'm planning to have a few more breast enlargements throughout my life so I guess it's something that will just be 'normal' for their mum to do, and if they ask then that's fine, but if not, I don't see no harm in not saying anything! Xx