Divorce

If he isn't supportive if you go ahead is there someone else that can help you? 

Hugs xx

Yeah my mum and sisters would help.. He's already told me he won't help me. Think I will have to postpone my op.. I will speak to my nurse on Sat and see what she says xx

I couldn't read this and run Hun, I'm so sorry for the situation you are in, as others have said, only you know whether this marriage is worth fighting for. I find it disgusting what he has said to you and it seems very controlling in my point of view. You have done something amazing bringing up your son. I work 2 days a week which are my break. Looking after children is harder than working a million times over in my opinion. My husband shares the childcare. As far as we are both concerned they are our children not just mine so they should not be just my responsibility. Why should it!!

I can't believe he told your son and anyone who would listen. Grr that made me angry reading that. It sounds like there are more deep seated problems in your marriage.

Only you will know if it is worth it but from your posts you seem a strong determined woman so of it's what you want and you are happy with yourself I say go for it and call his bluff. 

I hope you get through this difficult time hun xxx

Thanks so much Lias.. Your messages of support here are overwhelming.. I see my husband approx  3 months a year.. I have brought my beautiful son up on my own as hubby in military. I work full time and travel to work each day 2 hours and do 2 jobs.. I leave house at 6.30 and return 6.30 and weekends and evenings are spent taking my son to his activities, catching up with housework cooking etc.. I feel I deserve this for me .. I don't go out as I don't have the time.. I don't drink as no one to babysit, hubby also wouldn't like me to go out anyway. All I do is try to bring  up my little boy the right way.. I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all.. I think without sounding like I'm selfish, that I work hard and deserve to give myself a treat.. This is the treat I want and he's having none of it.. I envy all of you amazing ladies with such supportive partners.. I've yet to have that and been married 10 years xx

Oh sweetheart.... You are one strong lady and by god you don't half deserve this!! I'm so happy I did this and I did it for me not for anyone else. Can you sit down with your husband and explain it to him? Is he jealous? If he wouldn't want you to go out has he always been like that? 

You are NOT being selfish AT ALL!!! YOu deserve this for you and you work so hard and shouldn't let a man tell you not to do it because of their own insecurities but I'm a bit of a feminist!

Has this been on the cards for a while and he is now using this as an excuse?

X

I suppose it's been on the cards for a while.. I threatened to leave him he said he would do anything to keep me etc etc and when I told him I had booked my surgery said he would support me.. Now he's got me back where he wants me it's the opposite.. I actually wish I could post what he has just texted me.. He said basically I only want the surgery so that I can get attention from other men..I'm very independent and I earn my own money and do all I can whereas when I was "army wife" living in military housing, son was a baby I still worked but he was at home. I would be in house all day or out with my baby and then get wee one to bed and go to work come in at midnight and be back up during night with son. I was very dependant on him in every way because I had no friends and earned a pittance.. Different days now and he doesn't like it xx

It sounds like he is jealous and insecure, if he can't listen to what you are doing it for then he will never understand. Every woman on here knows the feeling and knows we do it for ourselves - boobs are such a personal feeling of femininity. 

So how are you feeling about all this? Do you want to postpone? Or do you think it's just a bluff? My husband said after the op that he had his wife back - maybe your husband will see that it's inner confidence you're doing this for then he will be more understanding after you have it done?

X

Hiya seen this post yesterday but I was so busy in the hospital that everytime I tried to reply I got caught up and I certainly didnt want to reply after a GA

I def dont think that you are being selfish and no man will ever know what it feels like to have the feeling of not being confident in ourselves with the boobs we have and want to change

I do agree that you should maybe put the op back a bit and speak to your husband and sort out your differences etc and discuss if there is a future for you

I sorry if Ive just repeated everything thats been said, still a bit groggy

hugs to you though it must be hard xx

Hi again, why don't you ask him to go with you to discuss any concerns he may have (not that I think he deserves such consideration). You could postpone like most people seem to think but you will only be putting off the inevitable, if its not the BA it will be something else in the future, regardless of what anyone thinks he should NOT speak to you the way he does, end of. To be honest I think he's lucky to still have you, he he wants to dominate and be in control tell him to get a pet

Ha ha.. I like it newbieboobie.. Get a pet.. He got one and I'm taking care of it.. I must be mad!! I did ask him to go to surgeon with me and I told him I really wanted him to go but he said even if I go he will want to divorce! I want this so so much now... Xx

So why bother with him hun?

He's stated his case - he wants a divorce

You've stated yours - you want your boobs done.

You seem almost thankful for the thought of divorce in already being in the proceeds of buying a home for yourself and your son, so I'm unsure why you'd even be asking him to go sweetie?

If I thought there was a chance of salvage as I did in your earlier posts, like I suggested, involving him may help, but since then after what you've told us and the fact you're already moving on..... Why involve him at all babe?

You've already made the decision to move forward and part of this moving on is having your BA and this new house and your new boobs, they're all just for you from what I'm getting from your latter posts. Or am I totally confuddled?

Its a regular thing to happen to me Wonderwoman, lol. I'm just a little confused right now. Sorry if I've got it completely wrong babe. Xx

Cookie you may be con fuddled but so am I lol.. I wanted him to accept the BA.. The house was to start afresh however I also thought that if he started treating me better etc then I would still go ahead and buy house as security for my son future, and also would have somewhere to go should the inevitable happen.. I'm all over the place to be honest., I suppose in a way I still want his approval.. I don't know why.. I've never had to deal with all this before so I'm kind of confused myself.. Xx

Wonderwoman ...

I would beg you to slow down on the decision makings and get a sound clear head ...

Whilst i dont condone alot of what he has done / is doing - i have been there and gotten the shirt ...

When i left my previous ex (not the one that left 3 weeks ago - loool) it was hard (just financially) without him .. i weighed ALL options and the only thing was finances (not that he was financially responsible for anything - but the pretense that he was - gave me false security)

So obviously - when he left - the false security blanket disappeared and i was hit with a massive load of reality and debt (thank God all sorted now)...

I will say just slow down on all the decisions - you can have your BA today / tomorrow / next yr / etc - but you may not be able to get your relationship back - or you may not forgive yourself if you feel you have not done enough ..

Think it through babes - its not a nice place to be at at all ..

And you may need 1 day / 1 week /  1 month / 1 yr - but just give it a thorough thought ..

whatever decision you make then - fine ...

I dont regret leaving both guys...

so 3 weeks now - i know i have made the right decision - but trust me - 3 weeks ago was just me finally opening my mouth to say its over .. walk out the door - dont look back cos you are not welcome anymore ...

i had tot about it for a while and was really relieving myself of the r/ship long before he gave me a chance to close the door ....