Too many options...not sure what I want anymore :s

Hi Girlies,

So you may be aware from reading some of my posts so far that I'm going round in circles. I have seen possibly too many surgeons all with different advice for me as I have a slight droop to my breasts.

There is one surgeon who has recommended rounds for me as I'd really like some upper pole fullness but I really want something natural still, as I have enough breast tissue one surgeon has said that he will lower breast crease and I will get a great result, I discussed issue of DB and he said that lowering requires precision and he's confident we won't have the DB issue. All other surgeons have suggested anatomicals to rectify the droop, this however will not give me any fullness if I don't have a bra on. My reason for wanting this was so I would have good boobs braless as in bra's I'm happy right now and I'm not that small (about B/C).

Ok so this is not all of it. That's a part that is causing confusion and I just need to make a decision. The surgeon offering rounds told me that anything that goes wrong even like not being happy with scars he rectifies for free and he does have the Baaps insurance.

What is really confusing me now is that I'm not happy in my job, the money I have for boobs plus some left over for any problems could allow me to change my career and retrain in something and be able to do so with less stress (I have half a mortgage to pay).

On top of this, my partner and I have been on and off talking about starting a family for over a year now. I went off the idea this year (had a friend who had a baby and it put me off even though I've been around children for a long time, my sister has 2 and I love them to bits). I am enjoying my social life right  now and I love my sleep. But I have something called endometriosis which can affect fertility. Each month since my last op the endo comes back worse and is more and more painful. I definitely want children, this is for sure. I'm 28 in November and my partner is nearly 35. So now we're considering trying for a family now so that if we can't conceive we can be prepared. This would mean there's not a lot of point in having a BA. But if we can't conceive then I'll have put off a BA that I want that could improve my confidence and happiness in the meantime.

I think I really need to just decide what will make me happier - boobs, baby or new job. 

I think I just needed to get it all out, I feel like I could cry right now as there's just too much going on in my head and I don't know where to start :( 

Has anybody experienced anything like this when considering their BA?

xxxx

Awww LB... I really do feel for you. Is there really a right time for anything?

It must be hard for you with having all these decisions and endless worry. I am sure you will get some good advice on here sweetie.

Life can be so complicated sometimes can't it :(

Chin up x

I agree for Sharon, it's always hard to find the right time!

I've followed your journey so far and can tell your in a pickle! I've been lucky enough to get my BA before I change jobs so the job doesn't affect me, but I did think about wether to wait until after I have children. I decided not to wait because I can't live with my boobs how they are anymore. I'm not planning children until another few years at least and I also read a few pregnancy diarys who said that their boobs are looking ok afterwards still!!

I really think it had to be your own decision. It's whatever will make you happy. If you want children very soon then maybe wait but if your still over a year away then you should be able to feel happy now :)

Life is very difficult but if we keep saying 'what if' we wouldn't get anywhere :) I know it's a tough time and I went through it too (esp because I'm 21 and will have to have a reop a few more times, this was my biggest turn off, but I figured it was worth it to me) xxx

I thought I was just in a pickle about surgeons but now I'm in a pickle about life in general!!! What am I like? Too much time to think about stuff it's ridiculous. I have always wanted my boobs done but day to day it is my job that I'm struggling with. I'm just going to have to do some real thinking but that's stressful in itself so it's easier to put off. 

I think I'm going to book a surgery date and then see what happens in the next few months.

Not long for you now Jennifer! Eeek xx

Aww there's no rush lb :) if your not 100% ready then don't rush into it!

That's a good idea, I'm not 100% sure if all companies do it, but with transform I booked in may and had to put down a 500 pound deposit, I have until August the 18th to change my mind and get the deposit back if I don't want to go ahead. If not then I loose the deposit so if you do put down a deposit to secure a date, you could change your mind if it turns out to be the wrong time :)

I hope it all works out for you xx

Oh sweetheart c'mere  

We've had quite a few ladies here that after researching and seeing surgeons just had something there that was stopping them from booking and for them, the best thing to do is to step away from it all for a while hun. Give yourself some time to think. Maybe this just isn't the right time for you now?

We've one member here who came back three years later and knew exactly what she wanted then, she booked and now has her boobs and is very happy... But at the time she was researching she just wasn't happy...

Step away from it all babe. You know we're here anytime you need us. Give yourself some time away from everything to take a breather and allow you to come to terms with what it is you're wanting from life babe..

I couldn't be sorrier to read about your problems LB and I sincerely hope you get the help you need to make things easier for you hun. Xxxxx

What cookie said above I did aswell! Was here last year and had too many doubts, took a almost a year away, realised I wanted to go ahead and came back and booked, it's almost been a year and a half of waiting for me but I needed that time because I feel 100% happy now whereas I didn't at all last year xx

Thanks girls. I think you're right I just need to take a break away from it all and just think about what's important to me.

I tend to give myself projects at work. First it was my house, then my garden and I've worked really hard and I don't treat myself really at all, I just save and save and I thought that at last I could give myself something I've always wanted but never been able to afford. But maybe it's now bad timing for me and I should have done this years ago but I wouldn't have been ready then either. 

I know I'll be back and I really appreciate all your support girls. xx

Good luck in whatever you decide... x

Aww sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I completely relate to hating the job part even to the point I considered seeing the Dr because I thought it was making me depressed. Applying for jobs makes me feel better even if there are rejections that don't feel great at the time. Maybe do this, we are at work the majority of the time especially if we work full time, why do we remain in that state of misery longer than needed without trying to get something else that will make us happier? Coz we are creatures of habit, we cant be bothered to do anything about it half the time or we are too afraid to do anything coz that means 'change'. Don't be afraid LB, just do it and things will fall into place soon enough, if it's all meant to be!

Now can I get an 'Amen'!!

aw sorry to hear your head is spinning so much hun!

with everything you'v got going on, maybe this isn't the right time for you hun? i agree with the suggestions above, try and clear your head and move away from the subject for a while and then approach it with a fresh mind if this is still something you want and it fits into your 'life plan'. 

we're always here for a chat hun, and good luck with figuring things out xx

Thanks all! I really appreciate it. I am going to take a step back and perhaps use the holiday I had saved for the to take some time and research what I want to do and plan.

I've always considered teaching but I've missed the deadline for this year and I'm not sure if I can manage another year here (that being said I've been saying this for the past 2 years and here I am). 

Wish me luck girls, I'm going to need it :) 

Good luck to all those waiting to get their BA's!

See you all soon I hope xx

I wasn't muddled like you Hun , but I have experience of endometriosis and had treatment for it in my mid 20's and that is hard enough to cope with in itself. At that time my main priority was getting myself fit and well. It's a very hard condition to cope with as well as the worry about fertility. I always knew that I wanted my breasts done but children were my priority at that time. I think you need to step back and try and think as clearly as possible. I did have my first child 2 years after some hormonal treatment at 28. It also  plays havoc with your emotions. Please don't leave it too long trying for kids if that is truly what you want. Best of luck with your choices xxxx love jakki

Good luck LB ... Hope you have the answers your looking for and everything works out for you whatever you choose ... Enjoy your holiday and maybe were see your plans change soon xxx

Jakki thanks so much for your response. It's really good to hear first hand from someone who also has endo. I'm almost 28 and my Aunty had endo and had a hysterectomy recently so was undiagnosed all her life. She left starting a family into her early 30's and really struggled to conceive, had many miscarriages but did manage to carry her son to full term eventually after a long time of trying. She also tried after him but had other miscarriages. I think worry and stress are the worst things when trying for a baby so I am going to take a step back and focus on my health and stress levels and make some decisions which should make me feel better. 

Hopefully I'll have some good news for you all regarding job and stuff in the coming months. 

Massive thanks again, I know I keep saying it but you girls have been amazing:bighug:

Here for you anytime LB   xx