New relationship pre-BA

by goldilockz1984 22nd April 2013, 5:58 pm

Hi girls,

I have had some attention lately from a guy I quite like. I split up from my boyfriend in August and am completely ready to get back on the horse now! I have an inkling this guy might ask me out but I am about 2.5 months pre-BA and am scared of starting anything because ideally, I don't want anyone knowing about my BA, especially someone who knows a lot of the people I know. I suppose I could go out with him and withhold doing anything intimate for 6 months but that might be difficult and seems a bit unfair. Or I could just not go out with him at all, but he's such a nice guy and how many of those are there around? What do you suggest (telling him about my BA is NOT an option. I don't know him nearly well enough to share such intimate things, nor do I want to tell anyone besides those who already know) xx

by Hexxi 22nd April 2013, 6:02 pm

I reckon test the waters and have fun!! Don't have to tell him and you might think him not suitable after all anyway xx

by jenniferrf1 22nd April 2013, 6:03 pm

Hey,
Dont know if this is an option... but if i liked him and was in the same situation as you, i would go out with him! and in 2 and a half months time i guess i would see how the realtionship is going and i guess ild have to tell him then. Its down to wether you trust him but i don't think you should let him get away if you do like him :)
Good luck, xx

by Lisa34 22nd April 2013, 6:08 pm

As the other girls have said Hun 2 and a half months is a long way off, go out with him, see how it goes! X

by Nicole 22nd April 2013, 6:16 pm

if you like him definitely give it a go you never know what might happen. But if you are together in 2.5 months, how are you planning on keeping it from him?

by g0902 22nd April 2013, 6:19 pm

I agree with the other girls.. see how things go. I wouldn't stress too much about it yet... as in a few months time you might decide to go separate ways. But if you do end up in a relationship with him you might feel you can trust him with :)

i have been with my boyfriend coming up to 3 years (we also have all of the same friends - even before our relationship) and he has been great support and I know he wouldn't blab to anyone

take each day as they come babe xxxx

by goldilockz1984 22nd April 2013, 6:28 pm

Thanks girls, I will take your advice and see how it goes. My main concern is that I have been out with one of his best friend's previously (I used to work with both of them, clearly my old place of work was pretty incestuous!) and he treated me utterly dispicably. The new guy is nothing like the one I went out with, he's an absolute sweetheart, but I certainly don't want the previous guy to find out as I have gone to great lengths to cut him out of my life and have nothing to do with him. Drama drama! xx

by Princess_x 22nd April 2013, 6:32 pm

I would give it a go. Obviously if it came to anything and you got together properly etc, you would have to tell him about your BA then x

by **COOKIE** 22nd April 2013, 6:32 pm

I think you're actually putting far too much stress on yourself unnecessarily hun. To men boobs are boobs - its US who have the issues with our boobs and no matter what boobs are like, you'll never hear a man complain lol.

By 10 weeks post-op you'll be we'll on the way to healing babe and I'd basically say nothing unless he asked, which I very much doubt he will whilst he's getting such enjoyment from them and hopefully you'll be 'both' be so lost in the moment neither of you will give a rats ass anyway babe! Xx

by angie8131 22nd April 2013, 6:39 pm

I agree with all the other girls here Goldi, if u think this may be good for you then give it a go. You don't want to regret later having missed out on this chance if meeting someone decent because you worried about what's gonna happen in 2.5 months time. Take each day as it comes and don't over think it. Carpe diem xx

by g0902 22nd April 2013, 6:46 pm

goldilockz1984 wrote:Thanks girls, I will take your advice and see how it goes. My main concern is that I have been out with one of his best friend's previously (I used to work with both of them, clearly my old place of work was pretty incestuous!) and he treated me utterly dispicably. The new guy is nothing like the one I went out with, he's an absolute sweetheart, but I certainly don't want the previous guy to find out as I have gone to great lengths to cut him out of my life and have nothing to do with him. Drama drama! xx

Its completely understandable that you don't want him to find out. The only people i have told is my immediate fam (mum dad, sis) and my boyfriend and i don't intend to tell anyone else. Wait and see how things go, but don't let ur BA put u off having fun! see how things go and I'm sure everything will work out hun xxx

by goldilockz1984 22nd April 2013, 7:10 pm

Thanks so much girls, you're all right. Perhaps I should just play it by ear and see what happens. For now, I'm enjoying the flirty texts and feeling excited about the possibilities! The best part of a relationship hehe! I'd like to think I could meet someone who could love me and my body whether ot not I had a BA. Thanks again for all your encouragement girls xxx

by Hexxi 22nd April 2013, 7:28 pm

Awww I love that first new flirty feelings, enjoy it! You deserve it! Xx

by goldilockz1984 22nd April 2013, 7:32 pm

Thank you Hexxi! That's sweet of you! I know, it's fun! Congrats on your new boobies hun xxx

by Hexxi 22nd April 2013, 7:33 pm

Thanks I'm so pleased but so swollen lol xx

by Blueeyedsoul13 22nd April 2013, 11:14 pm

goldi this is really exciting to read, very pleased for you :)

i agree with all the others above, and you've said it yourself now as well, just go along for the ride for now and see how things go, then cross certain bridges when you get to them.

enjoy this time hun x

by loclo26 23rd April 2013, 6:02 am

I agree with the others too, go out and have fun!! 2 and a half months is long enough for you to work out if hes right for you etc. x x

by dollydaydream39 23rd April 2013, 12:40 pm

I think you are being distracted by the excitement and attention. You say you're ex is one of his best friends and that he's part of the social circle. Are you presuming you would part amicably and he wouldn't say anything? Ultimately it will come out if you get naked with him, he's loyalties Will not lay with you. Going out with you're ex's mate is just wrong let alone best mate. That's my view anyway xx

by goldilockz1984 23rd April 2013, 9:34 pm

No I didn't say my ex was one of his best mates Dolly. I went out with one off his best mates two times. I really liked him but he treated me appallingly. He was never a boyfriend, not even a fling but I don't want him to know. I have only one ex-boyfriend who, besides my mum is the only person I have told about my BA. I love him dearly and would never dream of going out with any of his friends. x

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