Am I mad?!

First reason being Im booked in for BA on 14th Feb, I only went to see one surgeon and was so excited he could do it so soon i just went ahead and booked with him. Though I'm now thinking I should've seen a few surgeons, I was meant to go for a consultation with another surgeon but couldn't make it as I was snowed in!
Secondly Ive only told one person so far and I haven't even told hubby yet!!
Do you think I'm totally crazy?!

I'm surprised to say the least that you haven't discussed this and told your husband may I ask why?

In regard to your surgeon, are you happy with them? Do you feel secure confident and that the surgery plan is good for you?

holy moly i cant keep anything form my husband even the littlest thing and when my friends tell me secrets before they tell me i warn them i dont keep anything from him, how have you managed not to say anything

who is the surgeon, is he a good surgeon, is it private or with a clinic?what size etc xx

I think maybe you've got over excitied at a consultation and maybe jumped in quite quickly. It's very easy to get excited at the prospect of something you've always wanted and maybe you were a bit hasty, but maybe you're worried you will get talked out of it? I don't know. I think you should be disussing it with your hubby, although he may like the surprise come valentines day of new boobies, I think you need to prepare him for the looking after you part. It could all come as quite a shock.

Thanks for all the comments, much appreciated!
The surgeon is brendan fogarty, I've done a lot of research and he's meant to be one of the top surgeons in Belfast. I felt happy with him and he listened to what I wanted etc. The only thing was he recommended anatomicals and I was thinking round. But yeah I probably did get carried away in the excitement!
I think I haven't told anyone as I know a few people will try to talk me out of it, it's not because I don't want people to know. As for not telling my husband, I think it's because I just don't feel close to him anymore, I know that probably sounds bad but I know in my heart if it wasn't for the kids we wouldn't b together :/

I don't think you're mad at all for booking your surgery hun, you seem to have done all your homework and you're happy with your choice.

Do I think you're mad not telling your hubby... Yes, I do Pixiedust.

I'm so, so very sorry to read you're unhappy in your marriage but you have to think about this carefully babe, you're not buying a new dress, or a handbag hun, this is major surgery! you have children together and having a BA whilst you're recovering will affect you all - you, your children and your husband.

This is however your decision. What you do about your marriage is up to you babe, but if you expect your husband to be there for you and help care for you after you've had surgery then I think you owe it to him to tell him hun.

Sorry if that sounded blunt, but you did ask sweetnessts

aw thats made me sad there :( thats a shame. we are all here if u want to talk.

soooo what sort of size are you and looking for having. ur going to need helphelp after the op so i really feel you must tell someone xx

Haha yes your MAD but do you know what sod what anyone else says/thinks its your body your mind if you know you want it and thought it through do it, lifes too short, maybe not 'discuss' it with hubby just say look I'm having my boobs done and your going to love them and you'll have to pull your finger out afterwards because I'll need help around the house! Ok maybe don't say the last part but hope you catch my drift oh I'm naughty arnt I, I'm not married but that was my attitude lol xx

Ha i love this forum, i think go for what u want hunni we only live once. But do tell your partner he can either like it or lump it. My fella was not happy at first they go through diff stages some jealousy scared u will love on or become more confident.Not all do but i know a few of my mates fellas have. Any ways where here for ya xxxxxx

Thanks for all the advice! I know I need to tell hubby, and i know he'll help me while recovering, just don't know how to bring up the subject if that makes sense!
Tinkerbell I'm 32aa (flat as flat can be!) hoping to end up c/d, going for sizing next week so will have better idea then! So think he might notice if I didnt tell him and I was away for a night and came back with boobs lol!

Seeing as you've already booked hun the only thing you can do now is sit him down and tell him you've already booked it.

Maybe explain that you would have liked to have discussed it with him before booking but with the two of you not getting along right now you just didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it and after going to a consultation on your own in all the excitement you just booked it.

There's nothing else really you can say is there hun, so I hope all goes well for you Pixie. Xx

Thanks Cookie! I'm def going to tell him over the weekend :/

Hope all goes well hun

Im sorry to hear things aren't good in your marriage but although i think making a decision like this is ultimately down to you, you still need to try and get your husband on board...sharing this journey together could bring you closer? You will need help with the children and running of the house so try to be tactful with how you tell him...he might be hurt at not being involved from the start.
Also research the company and surgery as much as possible, this is a big deal and it costs alot of money so the last thing you want to do is run in blind with the first person you see and risk having a disappointing outcome resulting in you needing further surgery that you can't afford. Please ensure your 100% happy hun.
Goodluck with telling your hubby x

Hey pixie I definitely think Cookie and the rest of the girlies have given you good advice, but just to make sure you know, this is major surgery! I guess I was a bit taken aback by your comment of "if you go away for the night and come back with boobs". I know you were probably kidding but just to make sure you're aware, it's serious surgery and you'll need serious help around the house for 2 weeks or more. I don't know how little your kiddies are but someone will need to take care of them and you! please be careful hunni

and best of luck with everything!!!

How did you get on hun? Hope your ok and you've managed to talk to your husband? X

Hey, thanks again for all the comments. I told the hubby and it didn't go too well so now I don't know if I can go ahead with my BA or not! It's all a bit messed up right now :( And I'm feeling really down about the whole thing now, though I guess it's my own fault for not being honest with him!

Aww. Sorry your having a bad time pixiedust. I wouldn't cancel your surgery just yet, maybe your husband might come Round? and it is your body and your choice. I hope all goes well for you lovely x x

have u paid ur surgery xx

Don't give up on it just yet, he might come round.
If he doesn't is there anyone else who could help you with the kids if you did go ahead? Why is he not supporting you?
Have you paid all your fees? X

I haven't paid yet, it says on my letter to pay 10 days before procedure which would be tomorrow!
He doesn't understand why I want to do it and he thinks there's too much risk involved, too much money etc! I couldn't go through with it without his backing.

It might help if he goes to a consultation with you, then he'll understand the procedure more and what's involved, im not sure what you can do about paying as you'll loose your money if you back out after paying...unless a doctor could provide evidence as to why its not practical for you?
I really do feel for you hun and i can't imagine how hard this must be for you x

Ya hun , this really is a tough one!

Have you considered maybe delaying your surgery by a week or two? I dont think its a good idea to pay now just because of time pressure? If you two arent agreeing on it right now then ye're on a very short time limit to sort things out?

dont worry about price changing etc, those clinics will bend over backwardts to get you as a patient so don't feel under pressure in that sense either.

What I would do is book another consult for you and your hubby? have a big chat with him beofre hand and explain your reasoning. If you're under this kind of pressure now I do think its best to postpone until both your questions have been answered. AS tough as things are between you two, he is still your husband and the father to your kids so he will need to be on board in the weeks after surgery?

Good luck hun and let us know if you need any other help xxx

I think you're right lovely.... In not telling your husband its come as a bit of a shock to him and his head is probably in a right old state and in a bit of a spin with your surgery being only 10 days away lovely and if the money to pay for this, or to repay for this is coming out of the 'family' pot then I can imagine he's quite angry too right now hun, especially if like like you said earlier in your thread that your relationship is on rocky ground.... I suppose in his head he could be feeling that you're goin to have this surgery and once you're happy and confident with them wave bye-bye to him hun.

He's probably feeling very insecure right now Pixie, so if you don't feel the marriage is going anywhere maybe tell him you're going to firstly be paying for this 'yourself' and that although you can understand he's shocked this is something you want to do for yourself and you'd really appreciate his support... If he's still not moving and you want to proceed lovely then you're going to have to find support elsewhere, maybe from your parents or a friend? Anyone who will be able to look after you and help with the children at least till you're a week post-op.

If the money is coming from the 'family pot' and you're expecting your husband to help pay for this then I'd call your clinic and put the date back for a later date hun to give your husband time to decide whether he actually wants to be a part of this.

My husband was and still is very against elective surgery and he was never happy with my decision to have a BA, but he supported me hun, so maybe, given time and room to work on the relationship between you both he might feel better about it Pixie and have a change of heart lovely. Xx

Thank you all for all the advice! I can't believe how nice everyone is on here, don't know what I'd do without this forum! So I thought I'd give an update!
After a lot of long talks with hubby I have cancelled my BA which was booked for the 14th :( I have listened to him and tried to see things from his point of view, he doesn't agree with it but said if it was what I really wanted I could go ahead with it however he would not take any more than one day off work and would not go with me to the hospital on day of procedure! So really I didn't have much choice, I know I should have told him right from the start but I don't think that would've changed his opinion at all. :( Im so gutted about it, I really don't know what to do now.