Feel like I made a horrible mistake
+7
Kmaise3
sparkyleeds
balamoryyellfruit
Shazcott
COOKIE
misf1
zthomas
11 posters
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Feel like I made a horrible mistake
So ladies I ain't been on for a while but I'm hoping one of you can help me.
I had my op on 26th and I thought it would change my whole life and I would feel complete. Well it didn't,I'm so miserable,I can't look at them,touch them,still won't buy any bras. They feel like a foreign body,I have even had crazy thoughts about cutting them out. Has anyone ever felt like this,crying writing this. I wish I had never had them done! :(
I had my op on 26th and I thought it would change my whole life and I would feel complete. Well it didn't,I'm so miserable,I can't look at them,touch them,still won't buy any bras. They feel like a foreign body,I have even had crazy thoughts about cutting them out. Has anyone ever felt like this,crying writing this. I wish I had never had them done! :(
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I think feeling they're a little alien to you is quite normal, as I didn't even touch mine for weeks. They do start to feel part of you though hun. It's a big thing to go though to change part of your body, so for some of us it can be quite a shock to the system. It will just take some time to get used o hm and fo hem to heal a bit more so that they feel more like partt of you. They are very new at the moment and will definatly feel more yous s the weeks go on. I will say mine never made me feel complete, they just mde me happier with my breasts and more comfortable in clothes etc. It sounds like you still have a bit of boobie blues t the moment, but I assure you this does pass
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
It's like 3 months now tho. I keep them more hidden now then I ever did I'm sooooo embarrassed by them have quite my gym as well coz have become so self concious. If someone could turn back the clock and I knew what I knew now I would never have had them done :(
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Oh you poor darling, c'mere!
You're only what?.... About 4 weeks post-op lovely?
They're bound to still feel a little alien right now. Your boobs are still very much healing and will be nothing like the final result you'll see. As your boobs soften more they start to feel more a part of you, feel more a part of you and move like a part of you. Right now they're probably still a little firm, maybe still a little high, they'll still be quite rigid on your chest but all that WILL change but its going to take time hun and I'm not talking weeks I'm talking about months here, anything from 6 months to a year!
It can for some like yourself take some time to adjust to your new shape. Right now you may have no idea how to dress them to get the best from them. This too doesn't happen over night after you have a BA. It takes time. But the more you get used to your new shape and find the different styles of clothing that best accentuate your new bust it really does all start to click into place and you will them grow to love them hun.
I don't think anything or anyone can truly prepare you for the healing process. Many think once we come up to reaching that 6/12 week mark that's it and we're stuck with what we have then. Sooooooooo not true. The most significant changes, the ones that make all the difference between that fake feeling and that natural one comes much later than that lovely, so please hang in there and give yourself and your boobs time to heal
And please don't stay away if you feel you need us. Talking ally does help zthomas and we're great listeners... Xxxx
You're only what?.... About 4 weeks post-op lovely?
They're bound to still feel a little alien right now. Your boobs are still very much healing and will be nothing like the final result you'll see. As your boobs soften more they start to feel more a part of you, feel more a part of you and move like a part of you. Right now they're probably still a little firm, maybe still a little high, they'll still be quite rigid on your chest but all that WILL change but its going to take time hun and I'm not talking weeks I'm talking about months here, anything from 6 months to a year!
It can for some like yourself take some time to adjust to your new shape. Right now you may have no idea how to dress them to get the best from them. This too doesn't happen over night after you have a BA. It takes time. But the more you get used to your new shape and find the different styles of clothing that best accentuate your new bust it really does all start to click into place and you will them grow to love them hun.
I don't think anything or anyone can truly prepare you for the healing process. Many think once we come up to reaching that 6/12 week mark that's it and we're stuck with what we have then. Sooooooooo not true. The most significant changes, the ones that make all the difference between that fake feeling and that natural one comes much later than that lovely, so please hang in there and give yourself and your boobs time to heal
And please don't stay away if you feel you need us. Talking ally does help zthomas and we're great listeners... Xxxx
Last edited by cookie on 20th November 2012, 9:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Sorry cookie 26th aug. I don't think this feeling will go,I feel totally ashamed of them I actually hate them :(
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Ahh bless ya Hun I had mine done on oct 27th 460 overs like you with mr m and mine feel kinda big but they are finally feeling like part of me and I'm sure yours will too soon....maybe you have a little of what the ladies say boobie blues...sure it will pass Hun and you will be happy with your boobies xxxx
Shazcott- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 502
Location : Lincolnshire
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I just saw on your other post that you were 3 months along. Like I said in my above post though hun. It can take 6 months onwards for your boobs to really come into their own, so you really are still early days.
What is it in particular you're not liking about them? Xx
What is it in particular you're not liking about them? Xx
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I'm sorry to hear you're unhappy chicken and i know you don't want to hear this but give them a bit of time. I think in the meantime tho you could probably do with looking into getting a bit of support babe, maybe a spot of counselling or something or just speaking to your GP? Do you have family and friends that you can speak to? Think you need a big heart opener with a cup of tea and a good friend to help you get it off your chest so-to-speak. We're all here for you and i know that others reading this right now would take these feelings away for you if they could go and speak to someone and get your thoughts out there and remember that there is always a way around things...worst comes to worst you could always have them taken out again but i really would urge you to speak to a counsellor or someone first sending you love and hugs x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I'm scared its more than that and no one I talk to seems to understand! My kids can't lay against me,they r massive and I honestly think about mutating them. I should be so happy and I honestly feel like standing outside the clinic begging people not to have it done. Sounds so silly but I'm desperate for my old body back!
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Aww please dont get upset!!,mine felt alian for at least 4 months and i was still in discomfort with them!,but i LOVE them now!,,,,,,its a big thing to make such a change to your body ,just please give it a bit more time and im sure youl get to love them too !!!Take care xxxx
sparkyleeds- BJSF Elite Member
- Number of posts : 1901
Location : Leeds West Yorkshire
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I'm sorry hun, I thought you said the 26th meaning October I didn't realise you were 3 months. Are you feeling they're too big for you? What upsets you the most about it. I know it can take some adapting to your new boobs. And they can feel strange for a while. Has anything else happened in you life that may be upseting you? It my be worth talking to your GP to see if you may be suffering some depression, I'm not saying you re, just might be worth trying. Harming or thinking of harming yourself is something you need to talk to a proffessional about hunny, I know it's hard.
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
You're feeling they're too big for you?
Nothing sounds silly here
I too felt my boobs were too big after my first BA so I can empathise hun if thats whats causing you such sadness and I did eventually opt to go smaller and I'm much happier now. I really wouldn't want my old boobs back.
Please put the mutilation thoughts out of your head. If you're feeling that bad it, may be best to seek advice from your GP hun. Before thinking about harming yourself this isn't something that can't be changed if its really as bad as you're saying lovely. Xxx
Nothing sounds silly here
I too felt my boobs were too big after my first BA so I can empathise hun if thats whats causing you such sadness and I did eventually opt to go smaller and I'm much happier now. I really wouldn't want my old boobs back.
Please put the mutilation thoughts out of your head. If you're feeling that bad it, may be best to seek advice from your GP hun. Before thinking about harming yourself this isn't something that can't be changed if its really as bad as you're saying lovely. Xxx
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
zthomas, i'm so sorry that you're feeling like this
Like the ladies say, changes can take a while, and it is likely you will adjust, if you're feeling really down, it may be worth having a good chat with a friend/family member or even your doctor, its not a nice feeling, we're here for you whenever you need us. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Like the ladies say, changes can take a while, and it is likely you will adjust, if you're feeling really down, it may be worth having a good chat with a friend/family member or even your doctor, its not a nice feeling, we're here for you whenever you need us. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kmaise3- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 521
Location : norfolk
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
So sorry your are feeling this way hun xx
Is it just the size? xx
Have you had any issues with self harm in the past or anything along the lines of depression?
Is it just the size? xx
Have you had any issues with self harm in the past or anything along the lines of depression?
kay- Global Mod
- Number of posts : 6668
Location : london
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I also agree with Cookie xx
This is not something that can't be changed! xx You can always have them removed xx
This is not something that can't be changed! xx You can always have them removed xx
kay- Global Mod
- Number of posts : 6668
Location : london
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I just want my old body back they r so big,everything makes me look fat. I have refused every invite out chucked all my nice clothes away. I just hate them I can't even look at them. My oh just thought I was a selfish cow when I told him so we split but I'm over that,I absolutely hate them have begged people I know who mention wanting them done,to never have them done,it's the biggest regret of my life. Mentioned it to the doctors they basically said what I could end up with of I took them out would be horrendous. I know there is nothing I can do but now I am just going to become a miserable recluse,I can't even be around my kids without a massive hoodie on,to ransoms I just tell people I'm protective over them coz I know my family will just say it serves me right for doing it to myself :( and my friends think I'm crazy and just say,god I will swap u any day.
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I have bdd and I thought this would solve all my problems,I would be able to take my kids swimming,have sex without a too on,wear women's clothes. How wrong was I,I am worse than I was! :(
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
You could certainly have the implant removed and a smaller one put in xx They wouldn't look horrendous then xx You might need a lift depending on your skin but if they were smaller it sounds like you would be much more comfortable with them
The thing is clearly you can't live with them the way they are so perhaps if you were making in roads into getting them sorted you may feel happier
I'm really sorry you feel so bad
I don't know much about BDD sorry xx
The thing is clearly you can't live with them the way they are so perhaps if you were making in roads into getting them sorted you may feel happier
I'm really sorry you feel so bad
I don't know much about BDD sorry xx
kay- Global Mod
- Number of posts : 6668
Location : london
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Have you been back to your surgeon maybe? Try ringing up your surgeon or the patient care co-ordinator and tell them your thoughts and ask for a consultation to maybe discuss taking them out again. On a different level it may be that you associate them with what happened to your marriage and that is why you hate them so much? There is always things that can be done tho so please don't think you're alone or that you're defeated in this babe. How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Or at the picture on your username thingy? Family may or may not say that but ultimately they're you're family and will love and support you whatever comes gorgeous x x x
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I lived with how you're feeling hun. Honestly I really have!
But you CAN make the most of this by dressing to suit a larger bust to make them look smaller. Minimiser bras are great, V neck tops you would think make your boobs look bigger when infant it has the opposite effect and slims your top half down. Anything covering you up to the neck will just emphasise your size. Fitted clothing rather than baggy or floaty look best and never wear anything gathered around the bust.
In the meantime hun if you still want change, you do have the option to have them removed. If your depression is caused by this then the NHS may help fund this. Yes, they may be misshapen, but you'll have smaller breasts back or you could save for an uplift, either removing the implants totally or opting for a much smaller one.
If you aim for what you want sweetness it can be achieved. Xxx
But you CAN make the most of this by dressing to suit a larger bust to make them look smaller. Minimiser bras are great, V neck tops you would think make your boobs look bigger when infant it has the opposite effect and slims your top half down. Anything covering you up to the neck will just emphasise your size. Fitted clothing rather than baggy or floaty look best and never wear anything gathered around the bust.
In the meantime hun if you still want change, you do have the option to have them removed. If your depression is caused by this then the NHS may help fund this. Yes, they may be misshapen, but you'll have smaller breasts back or you could save for an uplift, either removing the implants totally or opting for a much smaller one.
If you aim for what you want sweetness it can be achieved. Xxx
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Zthomas, do you see anyone for your bdd? I would suggest goin to talk with them or your gp, there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, even though we try xxxxx
You need to do what you feel is right, speak with a proffesional and see how you feel after that.
Xxxxxx
You need to do what you feel is right, speak with a proffesional and see how you feel after that.
Xxxxxx
Kmaise3- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 521
Location : norfolk
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
I can't afford to have anything done :(
I just feel in a hole with no light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank u ladies it helps to write it down but at the moment ever being happy seems a world away. I'm stuck with 2 bits of silicone that have ruined my life and mental state.
I really would never wish this feeling on anyone. My own body repulses me.
I just feel in a hole with no light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank u ladies it helps to write it down but at the moment ever being happy seems a world away. I'm stuck with 2 bits of silicone that have ruined my life and mental state.
I really would never wish this feeling on anyone. My own body repulses me.
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
zthomas wrote:I have bdd and I thought this would solve all my problems,I would be able to take my kids swimming,have sex without a too on,wear women's clothes. How wrong was I,I am worse than I was! :(
Was your surgeon aware of this before operating hun?
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Yea it's all on my notes. He didn't mention it the rep women just said your ok tho ain't you and I said yes,coz at that time I was.
zthomas- BJSF Addict
- Number of posts : 279
Location : surrey
Re: Feel like I made a horrible mistake
Hmmmmm they really should have contacted your GP and anyone else that be helping you with BDD 'before' surgery. The PCC had no business ignoring something as crucial as this. It wasn't her place to do this.
It's been such a big deal this last year to refer patients such as yourself back to your GP to get approval from them first before a surgeon would agree to your surgery because its very common for people with your condition to not be satisfied with the result afterwards so it was most important for the PCC to have highlighted this to your surgeon.
For yourself though right now, you really need to go and have a chat with your GP hun. Xxx
It's been such a big deal this last year to refer patients such as yourself back to your GP to get approval from them first before a surgeon would agree to your surgery because its very common for people with your condition to not be satisfied with the result afterwards so it was most important for the PCC to have highlighted this to your surgeon.
For yourself though right now, you really need to go and have a chat with your GP hun. Xxx
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