Mental Health & Surgery

Hi all!



Bit of an odd post and often considered somewhat taboo, but, as a fan of opening the tin of worms I was wondering if anyone had anything to share about their mental health before, during and after surgery?



The reason this has come about is due to myself noticing a change in my attitude over the last day or two. Only in the past few days since knowing 100% I am having my BA done have I started being 'nicer' to women who have breasts! But I don't mean nicer as in the traditional sense of being nice when I meet someone, because I am very much a people person and I tend to get along with almost anyone. Moreso things such as photo's of women. I have found that I have been able to look at a funny photo and giggle, not look at a photo then look at the womans chest (turning a little green with envy ) and automatically forming a not-so-nice opinion on the woman/ situation purely because I was jealous of her. (well, all I can really amount it to is jealousy, unless anyone else has ever experienced this?)



I have never noticed myself having done this in the past until I have noticed that I am now NOT doing it (Have I confused anyone yet? lol)



I know that my appearance has left me depressed, with terrible posture (I fold over and cross my arms across my body, have done it for years) and has been instrumental in the deterioration of previous intimate relationships. I figured I never had a problem because I was 'aware' of the problem. I guess I always thought depressed people were unaware of their depression and if I was aware of it, I couldn't be depressed?



Sorry, I am opening my own tin of worms here and I am going through so many emotions writing this, but I feel comfortable in this forum and I guess I am reaching out to anyone else who is potentially feeling the same way?



If you met me down the street you would think I was the most confident, happy and vibrant person who was just on top of the world, but when I go home I cry. I don't want to sound like I am 'unstable' and I am definitely getting my BA done for the right reasons, I just for some reason started writing this in here and it feels good to share so yeah...



If you made it this far thanks for reading, would love to hear if anyone else has ever felt this, or known someone who has. I wonder how many opportunities I have let slip by in my life due to being unhappy? I know my BA wont make me mentally happy if there is something much deeper affecting me but after noticing the change in my attitude recently, I think it's just what I need....



Sorry if this was too deep, feels good to have written it though.



xxoo

I made it all the way through it , and I can totally understand what you mean!

I would hope nobody is so flippant about having surgery like this to just do it on a whim, and so I therefore think we all have "issues" about our boobs - or we wouldn't go to the extreme of having the surgery to help fix our "issues"!

For myself, with my deflated, droopy boobs, I get through the day with an ultra-padded push-up bra. I recently made the mistake of going to my bf's house late at night, and forgetting to pack a bra for the next day. I was MORTIFIED! Due to plans / guests we had, I couldn't drop everything, go home and get one, so I had to make-do with a bikini top I had at his house. I "made-do" by covering myself with a large coat all day, so no-one would notice all the missing padding!! That was until he invited our friends over for a spa - I threw a big old tanty - saying how what was I supposed to do if the bikini got wet, I'd have nothing to wear, therefore I HAD to go home and get a bra. BF thought I was going a bit mental as I hot-tailed it outta there and back to mine to get myself a bra (literally crying all the way, thinking how insensitive he was for not understanding that I COULD NOT go without!!).

It made me realise how self-concious and uncomfortable I really am without a bra to "hide my shame"....

Anyway, point is, I can understand where you're coming from. And hope having the surgery will put us both in a better state of mind!

xx

Aw kiwigirl thanks for sharing, that gave me a little tear thinking of you driving off like that. It's crazy, these thoughts which at the time seem quite rational to us (how could he do this?!) which really aren't.



It's such a sensitive topic which affect so many girls and yet nobody really talks about it...



I am sure there's lots of girls out there who will look at this and think 'that's crazy talk!' and on the flip side maybe it will help some people speak up and realise that this is quite a common thing to deal with.



Thanks so much for sharing, makes me feel like the problem is halved :)

Over here too . So no your not alone .



I used to be like that but i have changed alot in myself now i have my B.A done .



Its been comments from people i work with that i realize i have changed alot ...such as I have a sparkle in my eye now and a spring in my step .



Which if im honest it does make me wonder how badly i came across before .I must of seem like a right grump lol



But i used to always look at the floor when i was walking ...shy away from alot .



But not anymore Hold my head high now not in a big headed manner haha I just notice alot more i guess im paying more attention to people around me now.



I dont feel as though im on the outside looking in anymore .



I used to feel like i had to wear a mask when i was around people put on that smiley face and act like nothing bothered me i even took the mickey out myself alot well espically if the conversation came round to boobs i joked about my flat chest first so that no one could say anything about it before i did .



As for confindence around men ...well that was never there at all I could do the chatting too when i was out ....but if someone was interested ....i would do everything i could to mess it up so they wouldnt be interested anymore cos the thought of getting up close and personal would scare the ' jimmy ' out of me .



Ok i have not gone out to practice this chatting to men on a social thing yet ..but im rather looking forward to it now ....lol i feel like i have choices now ( if that makes sense with out it sounding trashy)



Clothes shopping i used to dread and hate ...now i love it cos clothes fit.



Im in the process of learning who this new me is and i have to say i love it ...although breaking the old habbits is odd i do have to remiind myself at times lol .



xxxxxx

AWWW BLESS!!!



i know all about what you're going through hunni..



I'll just let you know how it is with me.

Im asymmetry and it has very much affected me negatively! :(

i can NEVER EVER wear a bra/bikini infront of ANYONE!! nope not even partners, family, best mates etc etc... so no one has seen my breasts, (apart from my surgeon now)

I am sooo insecure about how i look. Im scared if anyone notices my size difference OR if my extra padding on one side comes out and people see..

One time i was soo down about it, i actually took some scissors and cut my smaller breast - just so if anyone DID see me i could make up a story that i had some sort of surgery that ended up making my breasts different.
I've never worn a bikini in my life so when i go swimming i wear a large baggy top and an extra padded bra WITH extra padding on the smaller breast side.

I can also relate to how no one knows about it and how they think you're very confident... i too cry a lot about my appearance and try not to let it bother me but its something i just cant stop thinking about because its with me all the time!

Getting my boobies done will be the best thing for me mentally and emotionally and im soooo excited for that day!!
No one judges anyone on this site, so dont worry! Pour your heart out and we're all hear for you..

Chin up babes, you are very supported here!

XxX

Going through a BA is an emotion roller coater, and not for the faint hearted! For me it was a great experience, and done a lot for my mental well being. Now, in no way would plastic surgury of any sort fix underlying mental distress such as undeserving lack of self confidence, but it does give us a tool to correct physical concerns. For me through my teenage and young adult life I struggled for a long time with my self confidence. I am very tall with a big broad build, I alway felt huge and insecure, I stuggled with my wieght between the ages of 17-22, however being a bit chubby, I had huge boobies, so they were not an issue, but once I hit 22 and finished uni, I got into weight training and fitness and found my groove, I am strong and when I got the extra weight off I had a good figure which I maintain with a lot of work and I am very proud of. Through my insecure times I always found it easy to "see" inperfections in everyone else, but since finding my own secutity and pride, I no longer see inperfections in people I just see them... so I guess that is a perfect example of jealousy. After having my bubs I lost my boobs, and having a BA could give me them back, icing on the cake! I feel good about the way I look, it reflects in how I feel, and how I act... confidence its a wonderful trait and I am glad that I have it while raising my children, because I want them to see that and grow up feeling confident.

Thanks gals, I think peeling back the layers there is a real emotional root as to why we get this surgery done. Some do it to please the opposite sex but a lot of people are affected so greatly by something which people who know us probably don't even give a second consideration.



@mio, I am looking forward to that 'change' and the spark that comes with it.



All of your stories have really touched my heart and I can relate to something in everyone's.



T, please don't ever physically harm yourself again



Sarahdawn, you look like you have an incredible body and boobies now so kudos to you! :)



THanks again girls, problem shared is definitely halved xxxooo

My mental health prior to my surgery hmmm, a few years prior it was quite bad, in fact I'd probably go as far as to say in the depressive state I was in at that time, I would not have been able to cope with surgery. Once I had dealt with a lot of my issues I decided to do the one thing I had always wanted, boobs! I'd worked so hard on my confidence and me that having my BA was like the icing on the cake.

During my surgery and recovery, I was just so proud of myself for doing something for myself. After hating myself for so long, I'd finally given myself the gift of boobie confidence. I no longer slouched to hide the fact I had no boobs, I filled tops that I'd longed to wear forever. Bras didn't look like training bras, and I didn't have to wear gel bras, and when I took my bra off my boobs (chicken fillets) didn't fall on the floor. I walk tall and it gives the appearence of having more confidence. I'm still a shy girl though. I still get jealous sometimes of other women, but not of their boobs, I do love mine. I know I'm not perfect, there are lots of things about me I'd love to change, but I can't i.e. height, I'm never going to get any taller, I will never have long legs up to my neck lol. But there are lots of things I can do which is love who I am. I try very hard not to focus too much on how I look and make the best of what I have. Perfection is something I dont strive to achieve, my new boobs are not perfect they still have very slight asymetrey but it's greatly improved to what they were. I now have two scars which are hidden in my crease. I'm very proud of them. They are my courage scars, because it takes great courage to have major surgery by choice. It takes courage to change any part of yourself. I dont see my surgery as being vain, vanity meaning: vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. I didn't have the surgery to appear attractive to anyone else. So anyone who thinks my surgery was for vanity doesn't know me very well.



But whilst we are on the subject of mental health and surgery, I'd hope that anyone reading this thread that feels having a BA will fix them or solve all their issues/problems, it wont. Trust me. You will be exactly the same person, you will still have the same worries and troubles you had before your BA, but you wont have the issues with your breasts and yes it helps your confidence, but it will not give you confidence. Surgery can give you a better quality of life, i.e. give you the confidence to go swimming with your children if you couldn't do this before. But it will not make your life magically fall into place. Perfection is an impossible goal and it will never be achieved.

Ladies! What a lovely thread to read this morning!

I am so happy and proud of all of you and touched that you shared your stories on here. It really is priceless to have this forum to share with others that are going through the same things isn't it?



Mental health is something I definitely have been affected by in the past; with a mother that has bi-polar...then through a partner that was an alcoholic and depressive and through my own eating disorder and isolation as a teen and again in my twenties.



Although my body has always seemed like a war zone and been a focal point when expressing my inner pain or turmoil throughout the years and my boobs were a major part of this I would NEVER have had the courage to have surgery until quite recently. Even the thought of going in for a consultation scared the crap out of me up to a yar or two ago...



Knowing how fragile i had been in the past i also seriously questioned myself about having the surgery...

It took going to a very very low point a couple of years ago and having what i can only describe as a spiritual awakening and recovering fully and amazingly afterwards from that dark time to get me to a place I could make a decision like having a BA.



I had left fear and guilt behind somehow! And although I still feel vulnerable about the fact that I have had major surgery to change such a part of my body that (in truth i wish i didn't want and need to change so much in the first place) and I dont really want to tell anyone for fear of showing that vulnerability and insecurity to them or having to defend something that i so emotional for me I AM SO SO SURE THAT IT WAS THE RIGHT DECISION FOR ME :-) :-)



I dont feel hugely different or over the moon like some women. I am very very satisfied with the operation, proud of myself and excited to see the changes that will take place.



I can't wait to look normal and average (and maybe even hot lol) on the beach or in a pool. I can't wait to wear an evening dress and not look like a pre pubescent teen trying on her mother's clothes. I can't wait to not cringe when my partner sees my breasts and worry that I look strange and unsexy when naked. I cant wait to wear everything in my wardrobe!



xxxxx

wow ladies you are really my inspiration! like im not even kidding..

im extremely touched reading your posts that i actually cried knowing im definitely NOT alone and i have all the support on here!!

You women are outstanding and im so grateful for your stories because its hard to talk about some things..
HUGS to everyone!

Oh im in such a loving mood right now hehe





X

That's what we are here for TSmith



It's such a bizarre feeling, boobs wont change my life, they wont make people like me more or make day to day things any 'easier', but they will definitely improve my disposition in life which is what I am hoping for...



Thanks so much to everyone for sharing your stories, it's really touched my heart too that so many have taken the time to talk about something like this. It's so easy to get caught up in the hype and excitement of surgery that we can sometimes overlook underlying issues or pretend they don't exist for fear of being judged

Some truely inspirational reading ladies!
I lost my boobs after my twins were born - they were so sad and empty that I could feel every rib through them. I lived in padded bra's with chicken fillets and on the outside everyone thought I looked great! I got my figure back really quickly and suffered no pregnancy stretch-marks. (the twins were 3 months prem so I never got to the HUGE belly stage). I told a few people about my BA before I went and most called me stupid and said I would come back looking like jordan... secretly I wouldn't have minded at the time - looking like jordan would have been a whole lot better than having what little I had!

I don't think anyone really knew how much I hated my boobs because I didn't talk about it... by day I was confident, but at night when I took my clothes off, there they were looking at me - a constant reminder. My BA hasn't changed the way I behave in my daily life, except maybe I hold my head a bit higher these days :) but I can tell you for sure it's made a whole world of difference to my bedroom life! he he!

Mx