How to cope with Pre BA guilt?!

Hellooooo

I need some words of wisom or a pick-me-up...

Booked my BA, 5 weeks to go.... (waited so long to get to this exciting stage)

But, when im alone and thinking about it all, 50% of the time im so happy and excited for the future, browsing clothes sites looking at the things I will be able to wear that I would have previously not been able to etc.

But the other 50% im feeling guilty, the cost and how I could have used that money for things I really need, on my house, on the kids etc. How some people have such bad lives, people who are ill, less fortunate, have alot of troubles, and that im so selfish for doing this.

Im cra at explaining things so if anyone knows what im on about, or has felt the same? please help! lol. or maybe im ust thinking too much and need to shut up???!

I'm like that I'm in the process of booking
It's your body and we only get obe life. The happiness and confidence of this will show ppl how much this meant to u when u do get it done. The cost will go out the window coz it's the confidence itl give. Yeah we can always say too much Money etc but look bk and think about cash y actually saved? Was it used fir a good purpose or just frittered away? I kbow I end up in debt coz I bought loadsa gel bloddy bras and herb tablets. If I didn't do that I seriously couldve had my real boobs twice rathae than spending the ten years depressed and unconfident.

Think about you and no it's not selfish!

i didnt feel that way myself as i was so unhappy with my boobs and i dont have children either!! but sometimes its good to treat yourself, forget bout th house! n the kids just want to feel loved with attention etc rather then gifts that u could have got them . its time for u, so carry on being excited!!
xxx

I know exactly where you are coming from Immie. I am struggling with the idea of having to have help from my Mum (husband is supportive but not really busy at work) with the children etc when I have chosen to put myself in that position. Having said that, I think we all need to do things for ourselves that are a little selfish sometimes. We only live once so we should live life to the full I guess! x

*That should have said husband is busy at work. D'oh!

I've recently booked mine and I know exactly how you feel. I personally think it has a lot to do with my nerves about the op, kind of like i'm trying to find any excuse to talk myself out of it.

It is a lot of money but think of the difference it will make to your life and we only live once. Your kids will benefit by having a happier, more confident mum

Emma xx

dont feel guilty!!!!! your clothes are gonna fit you so much better and your gonna look and feel amazing! yes i got my boobs done but the biggest difference you'll see is the smile on my face! im so happy and although im going through the pain healing stage i dont think id ever regret getting them done they really do change your life!! xx

I know exactly where your coming from ! One of the things cookie said in one post was happy mummy = happy kids, that is a saying I repeat to myself everytime I feel guilty (as some times I still do).. x

Chin up sweet Im sure you kids are just like mine want everything need nothing, all mine needed was a happy mummy and now they have x x x

I felt exactly the same way pre op, I was so up and down leading up to my op! I think being a mom definately makes this harder as we have our little ones to consider though it all, however being a mom ususally means we focus our lives around our kids and famlies, and after all the work we do including pregnancy, labour, breastfeeding, sleepless nights ect we do deserve this! Honestly having my boobs done was one of the best things I have done for myself, it has given me my confidence and pride in my body back since having kids, I would do it again in a minute! As Kezza has passed down from Cookie: happy mom = happy kids! This is very true, we moms must take care of ourselves too and it is important our kids see this. You are not alone hun in feeling guilt, but trust me, its all worth it! x

im also feeling like this,could take the kids on holiday or get my garden sorted for them but then i think about how much happier and confident i will be and i will finally be able to take the kids swimming without worrying how flat my chest is in swim cossie. x x

I know exactly how u feel!! I keep thinking I'm spendin nearly 4k on boobs, how selfish am I?! I have two children, a mortgage etc and have never had this kind of money and am blowin it on myself. I'm only finally going ahead because I got some redundancy money - so I don't even have a job at the min. I feel guilty that my fiance's usin the last of his holidays to look after the kids and I can just imagine the week after how difficult it's goin to be with 2 young kids. Why am I doin this again?!! Haha xx

Hellooo,

I think most of us are all in the same boat, I'm a married mum of 2 girls aged 9 and 10 and was never gifted in the boobs department. I am on day 2 of my recovery and my family have been very supportive, none of them are actually around at the moment as they are all in france Le Mans for the racing this weekend but my mum keeps calling me and checking that I am ok. My husband took yesterday off work to take care of me but I'm home alone today and did manage to make myself a cup of tea lol.

I had mixed feelings regarding the cost of surgery £4000 is alot of money to spend on yourself but my husband does deejaying for a hobby and his equipment cost thousands, he has also been on skiing trips with his work collegues and my children have been on a foreign holiday every year since they have been born, I have never really done anything for myself, I work hard and take care of the girls so I dont feel guilty at all for having my boobs done, I feel I have deserved them :-) and cant wait until the swelling goes down so I can prance around in all my clothes to see how differently they fit.

If your not happy with any part of your body and it can be changed, if its really what you want, then go for it!!!! I booked my surgery then cancelled it, it was only when I cancelled it that I realised just how much I wanted it.

Now I am just resting and enjoying the peace and quiet before the girls get home from school xxx

Hi

I felt the same albeit I had to have a reop due to capsular contracture and my first op was pre children.

I tried not to think to hard about it as I did feel bad when I had to keep saying to the kids "I can't afford it" when they wanted something (whilst I was saving). At the end of the day do you know what they will remember when they are older? Not the clothes they wore or even the toys they had....they will remember fun days out or lovely cuddles and laughter xxxx Don't beat youself up hun, you'll be so happy once you've had your op and everyone will then benefit from having a happy mum xxx ps I'm making it up to my kids now by treating them :-)

I have four little girls and I have NEVER felt soooooo guilty in all my life :pale: It is so hard, I have cancelled one op partly due to bad service but partly through guilt as well. It's such a hard decision to make but the way I see it is that, (without sounding cruel or selfish), it is in a way having children that has made us need/want this. I have never had big boobs but I was always happy with them because they were a lovely shape. Then after breastfeeding four babies they just turned awful, nothing but saggy bits of skin lol. So I think I have sacrificed by body for them to be here so now I want to get a bit of it back while I can if that makes sense x and I totally agree with the comment a happy mum = happy kids

Awww THANKYOU everyone!! Hearing you all say you feel or felt the same was a relief!! And everyone had made some very good points which I will keep reminding myself of!! Phewf!! xxx

I agree with all posts. Don't feel bad. You have given so much of your body to your kids, it's brilliant that you're giving yourself something back. Just think of the 9 months that you had them inside of you and the 9 months or whatever that it took to get back to normal after they were born. Think of the nausea, the piles, the strtchmarks, the discomfort, the bloating, the heartburn, the not being able to bend over, the awful maternity clothes, the post birth 'issues'. You had to go through all that!!!! So no don't feel bad. This is a GOOD thing! You deserve it. (I kind of wrote that for myself too because I feel the same as you and am in the same situation).

Thanks Miss Milly, youre very right!
My boyf jokes to me that he's owed something coz he is paying for my op, but I say, he got 2 lovely kids without ruining his body whatsoever, so I deserve this!! hehe. xx

Immie I'm having the same feelings too & by the number of replies you've had, it's very common!

I love Miss Milly's response - it's sooo true!

So hold your head up high & keep reminding yourself of all the things mentioned above. You deserve it!

Chan x

when i was doubting the op everyone was asking "how will you feel afterwards?" and i had no idea then one person said "how will you feel if you dont have it done?" the next day i booked it and havent looked back! i knew i wouldnt be fully happy until i had them done and now i am soooo happy

Life is too short for if's and but's.......... its your life and will add to your happiness. As many people have said happy mum = happy children and from one mum to another, its a bloody hard job so think of it as your reward

Now don't beat yourself up, go for it and be happy.

Good luck

xx