The stigma

Why is there such a big stigma associated with breast implants?

Everyone I have told about me having the op has been so supportive and excited for me. (except for the parents lol)

Just wondered what everyone thought??

Jem

My thoughts on this are that there tends to be alot of people who visualise porn star huge enhanced boobs the minute you mention "Boob Job" and an awful lot of jealousy surrounding them from other women who would love one but due to whatever reason are unable to have one.

It's great that everyone is so supportive towards you and this is how it should be for everyone but fortunately i think us girls know who we can & can't tell with regards to who will support & who will sniff at it.

Parents are natural protectors and will tend to panic when their daughter who's perfect in every way in their eyes wants to have surgery to enhance her boobies, however saying that, once the BA has been done and they see how happier you are this will change and they will be happy for you. xx

I grew up being taught that it is shallow to care too much about what you look like - maybe this is another reason why there is a stigma around boob jobs? The idea that you shouldn't mess with what nature has given you but just accept yourself and that any behaviour that goes against this is wrong... but also, like SS says, people tend associate BAs with bimbos who want to be the next page 3 models - or are plain jealous. And so they stat saying that enhanced boobs look stupid while these days they actually look pretty damn good!

I agree with the other girls, i think its Jordan and all the other glamour models/page 3/porn stars with huge implants that have given BAs a bad name. No one thinks people get them just to look 'normal' or in proportion

xxx

There's usually stigma with things that people don't understand till their in that situation. Lots of theings like inter-racial marriages, bisexual/homosexual relationships etc

People think we're being overly obsessive about our bodies, we're insecure and don't know how to love ourselves. They can't understand that we've gone through and how much better we'd be for it.

I just take the view that its their problem and there will always be those that don't agree...I'm lucky I have young parents so their not so 'traditional'

I agree girls - its the view you are too in to your appearance and the big augmented look that everyone assumes you will end up with. I have just had my first negative - a good girlfriend who was really upset I had had them done. Lots of talk of the dangers, increased breast cancer risks as it makes it harder to detect. The fact they might rupture on a plane??? I can no longer breast feed, what will they look like when I am 60 and can't get them done again blah blah blah blah.................
It just bored me in the end to be honest. Where did this image of implants blowing up on planes come from?? This friend smokes so I was quick to point out the daily risk she is putting herself under. I don't smoke (I used to) so I can use this defense! Its just done my head in to be honest as I now dread getting this from others too. Sigh. Deep Sigh.

peewee wrote:Lots of talk of the dangers, increased breast cancer risks as it makes it harder to detect. The fact they might rupture on a plane??? I can no longer breast feed, what will they look like when I am 60 and can't get them done again blah blah blah blah

All of those are false, i think theres so many rumours about BAs and until you start researching you'll believe anything. It actually helps detect breast cancer as it pushes lumps outwards making them easier to feel, plus with unders it doesn't interfere with mammograms at all and you can breastfeed with implants, probably thousands of women have! Sorry you had a negative reaction hun, glad you got on her about smoking hehe xxx

Really weird I should read this now! Just had an email from a family member who's really against my decision, saying other people will lose respect for me, etc. Really upset me and made me feel all shaky...:sad:

I think you're right, the whole issue really provokes a strong reaction in some women and maybe jealousy sometimes does play a part. The fact that you are choosing to change your body I think also brings out other women's insecurites about their own bodies. Maybe there is a feeling that you are raising the bar a little? i.e by changing your breasts you are making it more unnacceptable for others to have small/saggy/big/wonky etc! breasts??

Think I'm probably rambling now, but anyway it's good to know there are other women out there that aren't so judgemental!

xx

littlemisstiny1 wrote:Really weird I should read this now! Just had an email from a family member who's really against my decision, saying other people will lose respect for me, etc. Really upset me and made me feel all shaky...:sad:

aw sorry you had to get something so negative from a faily member! I wonder what peoples motives are when they are sooo against it and can't ever see it your way. I think you're right about them thinking small boobs will become unacceptable or affect other small boob girls amongst your group of friends/family. But I would never put my happiness after someone who may or may not feel bad about my decision.

littlemisstiny1 wrote:Really weird I should read this now! Just had an email from a family member who's really against my decision, saying other people will lose respect for me, etc. Really upset me and made me feel all shaky...:sad:

Sorry to hear that hun i'm sure she's just worried about you, you'e doing this for you xxx

Wow littlemisstiny, I am sorry to hear that a family member should say such things to you! if people lose respect just because you have breast implants, they are the ones who are not worthy of respect, because they can't accept other people personal choices as if it was any of their business. Please don't get upset about it (although I understand why you are)...

No babe your not rambling at all. I agree with what your saying and actually my friend caught me on the back foot and now I will come up with some better responses when it happens again. I do believe its the thought that you will end up looking like some porn star that is the problem for people. But even that, if its what you want then really its no ones business. But they just butt in don't they. Sorry you got that email - why would they lose respect for you. Because they would assume you stupid for it?? Don't be sad - you just can't please everyone.
Nads your right and I answered those things to her - she told me her SIL had implants and was told by the surgeon that it is harder to see breast cancer with implants in. How can you argue that second hand crap info? What can I say - except I don't believe he said that? And I also said that I could breast feed and she laughed and said who told you that the PS, as if he would just tell me anything to get me under his knife? Just really irritated me and frankly insulted my intellegence. I had spoken to the chairwoman of La Leche League USA about breast feeding before I even booked up for my consult. I suppose that goes to show people just think your dumb and naive.
In the words of a great friend of mine ........... she can poke it!
xx

littlemisstiny1 wrote:Really weird I should read this now! Just had an email from a family member who's really against my decision, saying other people will lose respect for me, etc. Really upset me and made me feel all shaky...

Oh poor you lovely girl.

It's strange but a friend of mine had a reduction and everyone had nothing but good to say to her. Even though she had terrible scarring. I also had laser eye surgery which is an elective surgery (not necessarily cosmetic, but elective all the same) and everyone was like 'Go for it!!!'

But when I told a few people some were disgusted! Others promptly told the world and are still gossiping about me now (I should feel honoured, even people that don't know me love talking about my boobs)

I think there's a mix of reasons.

• Jealousy - they'd love it, can't afford it/too scared etc
  
• Stereotypical Views - 'You're gonna be a Page 3 model, are ya?'
  
• Extreme Feministic Views - you should be happy with what you've been lumped with and shaving your legs is a sin
  
• Anxious - Over GA etc. Natural for parents and friends, but still can be quite negative for the poor girl having the op
  

Well stuff them all. I love my new look (I say new, I've just seen my ticker ) and I'm 100% happier for it.

peewee wrote:In the words of a great friend of mine ........... she can poke it!
xx

I am not having a good night - just got another email from her (after I'd replied very calmly with my reasons for having it done). Her email said:

"Ultimately, your decision, but don’t be surprised by negative reactions (family and extended family included)"

Great! Anyway thank you all for your lovely words of support, I will get over it, just not sure I now want to spend my summer holiday with her that we've just booked! :pale:

What would I do without BJS?!! xxx

er helloooooooooooooooo you mean she does not want to sit next to you looking all hot when she is not!! ok that is fabulously bitchy of me, but a little true?? its funny because at the end of my friends tirade she said just don't sit next to me on the beach?! I think these two women have quietly shouted out thier issues haven't they?
I suppose we should let these people get it out of thier systems and then they can gossip behind our backs to thier hearts content.
As you say Roxychick people you don't even know are talking about your (great!) boobs!!
that's for you LMT xx

Why don't you tell her exactly where she can shove it??

LMT, I'd reply and say something like:

'Thanks for your mail. I can only assume your rather negative response is becasue you care about me so much you don't want my to undergo any unnecessary pain and risk. (Unless there's another reason for your negativity?) Well, I can assure you I've thoroughly researched my decision and I will be going ahead with my surgery regardless of your negative remarks. As my family and friends have had nothing to say about my BA I can only assume you've been gossiping about my surgery then. Not very nice, I'm sure you'll agree.

If you really plan on airing your views so openly and with no regard to my thought and feeling I think I'll find someone to take my/our places on the holiday we've just booked. This is my decision, no-one elses.

I'd be fuming if anyone spoke to me like that before my BA, and there's be no chance in hell I'd go on hol with them! Some friends are friends not through choice, so I keep those at arms lenght

peewee wrote: As you say Roxychick people you don't even know are talking about your (great!) boobs!!

The thing is, I'd happily explain all about the surgery, the whys they wheres then whens etc. It's just women who feel it's their business to bitch and tear down and air their views about something they know nothing about.

xx

I agree wholeheartedly! Think I'm going to sleep on it before I reply (need to calm down a bit first :evil: ) But Roxychick I will keep your sample reply as somehow I think I'll be needing it!

Need to now watch some crap telly to take my mind off things (and there's nothing on, damn! extreme fishing anyone?)

xxx

LMT, no one has the right to judge someone about a personal decision. Fair enough, disagree, but each person has free will! I'm sure you're capable of making this decision!

Oh and Extreme fishing sound like the most boring thing ever.

Watch out lads, we've been sitting here three hours, woah, did you see that ripple on the lake? That's gonna get the fish spooked! No way lads, I almost lost my hat, that could have been embarassing ey? *snort snort* Oh, it's coming up to 6pm. Better get home and off to bed! Oh we're just so extreme!

I know it's sad some people just can't keep their opinions to themselves, especially about something that's such a personal decision, ho hum...

ps oh Roxychick, you underestimate the excitement and power of robson green's extreme fishing skills! i should know, been watching it with dearest hubby for half an hour (yes i am the perfect wife...)

x
pps have been giggling so can confirm i am officailly cheered up

Ive never even thought about any of this. I havent had any negative comments although i havent gone around announcing it to everyone. Hardly anyone knows and if other people have noticed they havent said! I dont think a boob job is a big deal at all now, if you're unhappy with your boobs and you've got the money then go for it i say. I dont think its a huge deal x

Oh littlemisstiny1

What kind of relatives do you have? I think she :evil: needs a veeeeeeeeeerrrrry long one way holiday on her own

You just be proud of yourself for being soo thoughtful of others and puttting them in the right order and priority ...your children and present and future implications and your o.h. etc.

Roxychick has offered sound suggestions, and you are also being wise and mulling over your response if you believe she deserves one.

If you were my daughter I would be more than proud of you for being soo responsible, sensitive to others and realistic about an important decision you have thought through and researched appropriately.

All your boobie sisters here are with you

littlemisstiny1 wrote:

"Ultimately, your decision, but don’t be surprised by negative reactions (family and extended family included)"

How rude. She's obviously threatened by you having a BA.

littlemisstiny1 wrote:Great! Anyway thank you all for your lovely words of support, I will get over it, just not sure I now want to spend my summer holiday with her that we've just booked! :pale:

Ahh, this is her problem. You are going to ooze confidence with your new boobies, and she will feel **naughty word** about hers.

Don't worry about reactions like this, hunni. The people that matter most will be there for you and behind you. And if they're not (and even if they are!!), then you have us BJS girls.

Maria
xx

BlondeBarbie wrote:I dont think its a huge deal x

I suppose for us it's ok, we know that the majority of women with a BA look natural and are probably smaller than our sizes actually say we are! But BAs still have a stigma attached to them. Most stories are negative ones, and celebs like Jordan and Pammie get more media coverage than say Gemma Atkinson. It would be great if everyone thought it's not a big deal, but it's not like that at the moment.

xx

Great post ladies ....

littlemisstiny1 wrote:Really weird I should read this now! Just had an email from a family member who's really against my decision, saying other people will lose respect for me, etc. Really upset me and made me feel all shaky...:sad:

So sorry you had to go through that c**p LMT! To be honest, I think my family would react like that, so I'm not going to tell them ...

In fact, the only friends I am telling are those that have already had some 'work' themselves - and they all live in other countries! (two American guys - nose jobs, and one woman from Venezuela - lipo, boobs, eyes).

I think this anti-cosmetic surgery prejudice is quite a British thing. We do have a reputation, in the states particularly, for being a bit odd in our willingness to embrace 'naturalness' . Think of Austin Powers' teeth for example!

(though I suppose I shouldn't stereotype!)

A xxx