no support!

Hi everyone! this sounds pretty petty but really need 2 get it off my chest!! Its really annoying me! Basically its my boyfriend with the problem, he's completely against me having my ba done. Its all booked & payed for so I'm not letting his negativity put me off but he just really doesn't get why I would want it done. I'm an A cup at the moment and I am hopeing 2 go 2 a DD!! We've been together 8yrs & he says he really doesn't see a prob in my small boobs. Is it worth me even trying 2 get him 2 understand or just carry on but keep it all 2 myself! Its just really upsetting me that he carnt be happy for me. Did anyone else have this problem?x

Sometimes out OH's don't like the idea of us changing he might be afraid that with the new boobs comes a different you. Mine was a right pain in the run up to my BA but he came around in the end and he loves them now. He said he didn't see why I felt the need to change but also said he wouldn't stand in my way if thats what I really wanted. : ) x

There are so many stories of girls with OH's who just aren't supportive in the run-up to your BA. There could e so many reasons why he just doesn't "get it", maybe he doesn't understand how much you want it, or maybe he doesn't want to offend you by supporting you having it done (i hope that makes sense :) ), and Peachy34's right, maybe he's scared that you'll change once you've had it done and with the possibility of getting more attention from guys. Have a chat to him, he could be worried about you having an op. I hope it works out :) x

My husband was supportive of me getting a BA, even paid for it, tho he said he didn't think I needed it. BUT I remember posting on here that he was being a complete and utter **** before my op. I think it was just worry about me having surgery. I think a lot of men don't understand the way we feel, and most people can't unless they are in the same situation, and get very worried about us having surgery and whether we will change afterwards.

Talk to him and I'm sure he'll chill out soon.

[quote="kittie"]My husband was supportive of me getting a BA, even paid for it, tho he said he didn't think I needed it. BUT I remember posting on here that he was being a complete and utter **** before my op. I think it was just worry about me having surgery. I think a lot of men don't understand the way we feel, and most people can't unless they are in the same situation, and get very worried about us having surgery and whether we will change afterwards.

Talk to him and I'm sure he'll chill out hi kittie ure pic look,s great :good: wot size wer u bfore ure op ? n wot size r u now am havn 1 of the dillemas wondern shoud a gt D or DD dunno av bkd another appointment wae ma surgeon bfore my op2 hav a look at both implant,s . xx

I think a lot of men are just scared of the whole hospital / operation / big needles thing and look for an opportunity to avoid them at all costs (even if it's not even them going through it!)

I think there's also the 'not wanting to see someone you care about in pain' thing - which is all very sweet!

Lastly, there's the 'OMG she might run off with the milkman if she has them done' thing....which is really just insecurity and male ego getting in the way!

Just do what I do.....don't have a OH!!!! lol :good:

Thanks Pamela - I was wearing a 34b/c before op but was def in wrong size. Now in a 32E. Most surgeons don't work in cup sizes hun - better to tell him the look you're after rather than fixing on letters and numbers

kittie wrote:Thanks Pamela - I was wearing a 34b/c before op but was def in wrong size. Now in a 32E. Most surgeons don't work in cup sizes hun - better to te ll him the look you're after rather than fixing on letters and numbers

Hi kittie wen i spoke 2 my surgeon i told him i am hopeing 2 b a D cup he did say that they dont work in cup sizes but shoud b able 2 make me a D hope so ad want 2 b atleast that size. wen a tried the implant he was givn me in looked enormus lol he also showed me pics on his laptop of people similar 2 me and the result they got the pics looked gd fink a might jus b being greedy wanting DD cup lol i hav told him i want 2 be slightly enhanced so they wul look the way they do wn a hav a bra on av bn bkd in for an ovr nght stay but a really want 2 go home 2 my hubby n my 2 dolls ( my girls ) the fot of being in hospital myself ovr nght terrifies me lol. wn a go bk 2 c the surgeon am going 2 try both implant sizes in with a sports bra on 2 c if a gt a better idea ( bet ure finkn she duznt half go on lol) xx

if you're confident he knows the look you're going for then i would go with his advice hun. i asked for mine filled up and just a little bigger, around a d cup and i am measuring an e but am happy with the result. i was more concerned with filling up the empty socks than size. i was glad of an overnight stay to be honest, lets you rest up and take it easy.

Hi Nixy,
Sounds like our boyfriend is acting out of insecurity. 8 years is a long time to be together, and this new additon is going to have an impact on your relationship. Emphasise that this will actually improve your relationship together, and reassure him. He'll be thinking that you'll have this new found confidence (which you will) and also increased attention and that you'll leave him. Try and put a different spin on things, involve him in it. Say things like you want him to choose some sexy underwear for your new boobs, for his pleasure, or that you'll have a romantic weekend away together when you're healed, so he can introduce himself to your new assets. Just keep him involved, and let him know that you're doing this for both of you. xx

Hey Nixy,
I am having my ba in 6 days and my husband in the beginning supported the idea, encouraged it even after my 1st consult his words were "go for it!" and he has paid for the whole thing! But the last few weeks he has been a complete @#$*&*! he keeps saying things like he is not going to take me I can find my own ride (which is a lie he will end up doing it) and he keeps telling me I have to switch to an all ladies gym once I go back to training
So even though he is driving me insane at a time when I just need support I am just ignoring all his negativity and occasionally giving him some ego boosting! :teehee:
I think when it comes down to it the biggest reason they dont support us is it makes them feel insecure and vulnerable knowing we are enhancing our sexuality... even though it is for us! And in my experience men dont cope well when their loved ones are poorly.
It is hard though because this experience is such an emotional roller coaster for us and we need our OH's to support us... so all I can say is dont take on his negativity you remember this is important to you and you need to take care of you FIRST! And I am sure your man will come to terms with all this soon and he will definaltely be ok once he can get his hands on the new boobies!